Y’all. I don’t know how to describe it, but the design of this house is FLOWING out of me. My ideas are coming fast, and they are so fun, and I can barely contain my excitement. The other weekend, our kids were gone all day, and Brian was watching college football, so I tucked myself into my bed, threw on Sullivan’s Crossing (you don’t really need to pay attention, but it feels warm), poured myself a glass of white wine, and designed the hell out of the kitchen and bathroom. By 10 pm, I was almost done with the general look and feel and materials. I was almost sad that I was done because it was so unbelievably fun, and yet I loved my ideas so much that I really don’t need/want to rethink them. Everything clicked so fast, and I was in such a flow state. I always love the beginnings of a big project – the dreaming stage is full of possibilities and novelty. But the most fun ideas are usually nixed due to cost and practicality. So what makes this one different???

1. No one has to live here full-time. Therefore, I don’t need to think about where my kids will put their shoes, how well lit the kitchen needs to be during the winter, where we’ll watch TV, or how annoying it might be to not have big closets or a pantry. THIS HOUSE DOES NOT NEED TO BE PRACTICAL. 

My goodness, how much fun is that? I’m not saying I’m going to intentionally make it impractical, but I feel like I “practicalled” my way into having some less exciting rooms in my house (which I love and living in our house is a dream, honestly). Let me be clear – I BELIEVE strongly in practicality, especially for families and even more when you are spending your life savings on a renovation. I designed our home to function well for our family and dogs for decades (because if it doesn’t, the collective frustration is on me). I still tried to do a lot of special things (an impractical kitchen island, a repurposed dresser as a vanity, vintage doors with antique doorknobs that fall out constantly), real marble everywhere, but I really did think about practicality for our family ad nauseam. WELL NOT HERE!!! 

2. I can make more exciting choices. One of the reasons I often stay safe isn’t just because I don’t want to have to rip things out when they get dated (which I don’t), it’s that I can tire of looking at something bold (it’s an occupational hazard), and I’m fearful of acting on trends that I’ll regret. So in my own home or my brother’s, I didn’t want to do anything WILD that I would eventually wish was more timeless (for the hard finishes). I also avoid chaos at all times, including visual chaos, so keeping the color palette safe and quiet really helps. My approach has always been to play it timeless and more practical on hard finishes, go nuts with furniture/decor. Not saying that this should be yours, and certainly some of my favorite designers go nuts with tile in a way that I think is so inspiring, but hold back for whatever reason. 

For this house, I’m treating this more like a restaurant or hotel – it’s a place that we’ll experience, but not live 100% of our time inside. More novelty, surprise, boldness, excitement, because we won’t be in here all day, every day. 

Since we are DIY-ing a lot of the easier-to-do projects (painting, tiling, cabinet-making), I am giving myself permission to do the weirder, more custom thing (if I can actually do it, lol). For instance, typically an intricate tile configuration gets you in trouble with your tiler and a much higher quote/cost. This time I’m going to do it, which feels really freeing – I’ll be the one annoyed that I chose something hard, but that’s on me. It oddly feels less stressful than trying to convey to a contractor and then to a subcontractor that I want to do this weird thing. Maybe I’ll fail at it, but again, that’s all on me. 

3. There are no time constraints. No deadlines. No rush. Ironically, I think it’s going to go faster than I originally thought, but that’s because I’m excited, not because I’m being externally pressured to do things quickly. 

4. There is no general contractor that will understandably charge a lot, and likely tell me my idea is odd and expensive to execute (it might very well be, and I might be my own worst enemy). No invoices that make me nauseous and make me wonder if this was the right life choice. I’m forcing my brother to be my personal consultant, but that’s different than hiring a full-time contractor. Of course, I’ll be paying subs and buying materials, but it’s more on my terms, there is no markup, and it’s spread out over time. I can find the least expensive roofer in Portland if I want to (I won’t), and if they don’t do a great job, it’s on me.

5. There is no disruption to our family – it’s simply added value to our lives. My risks and mistakes will annoy or affect no one but me. If the kids don’t love their band room? They’ll live and have more grit (LOL). If Brian doesn’t love the tile behind his urinal? Pretty sure our marriage will survive.

6. We aren’t opening up or moving walls, which means I don’t have to decide the perfect electrical plan or miss an opportunity to plumb for a pebble ice maker or pot filler. The constraints of the remodel mean I don’t have as many annoying decisions to make. 

7. Brian has given me full creative control. I did have to promise that I wasn’t going to do totally weird things that I know he wouldn’t like (and remember, he is getting his precious urinal). I promised him he could help choose anything for the kids’ band/game room (pretty sure he just wants to pick out a pinball machine). And listen, designing your own home with your partner when you are a designer, and he is, well, a man, is never not challenging. We’ve tried different levels of involvement in different homes, and they’ve all led to a healthy amount of frustrations and celebrations on both sides. I love collaborating with him on life (25 years in and we’ve never been better), but no, not on design projects. So I begged for creative freedom on this one, and he hesitatingly granted it. He’s nervous. When I had the epiphany that things don’t need to be practical, I came out of my room screaming with excitement, which I think understandably scared the crap out of him that I might do some highly wack things…I promised him that yes, some will be unconventional, but they’ll be cool. And don’t come at me with the “you give him too much power, shouldn’t you have the right to do what you want as the designer?” No! I mean, I get that some of you might want me to be all-powerful but we are a 50/50 partnership, and I don’t tell him what to do or how things are going to go, and neither does he. It’s far more fun to communicate, compromise, and, plus, it avoids all the pitfalls of a power imbalance, even though, yes, I am the financial supporter. Just because I make the money does not mean I get to make more decisions – imagine if that were the opposite. When it comes to our home, we have mostly done them together, and I’m also really excited to have some creative freedom in this space. Watch out, Brian! This might end up being your favorite yet!!!

What Does This All Add Up To?????

LOW PRESSURE. 

It’s incredibly freeing. Of course, I still have the whole internet watching, but I don’t know – I’ve gotten so used to that part and have released the expectations from people that don’t know me. Of course, I want you guys to like it (I don’t consider you the “internet” – that’s Instagram). And I know that having a well-designed space is simply best for business (good design = more partnerships + more traffic), so I can’t just do weird things that look bad on camera or fail in a few months. I’m really hoping I can bring you into it in a way where you’ll feel invested. This just feels like a creative laboratory and is worthy of some mother-loving fun. 

I’m also fearful that my optimism right now might change, either due to internal or external forces. I’ve learned that anything can happen in this game, and we can’t predict anything. So I’m moving forward with the designs and feeling really, really excited.

I’m Using A New Design Program!

Oh, and I’m using this new design program that I can’t wait to show you, but it’s making this all sooooo much easier. As you know, I don’t have the rendering skills that most designers do (SketchUp, AutoCAD, even Photoshop), but I signed up for Spoak, and I’m having a BLAST. More to come, but it’s so freeing to be able to play with layout, materials, and even plumbing and electrical placement on my own, without having to rely on my team (or an outside contractor) to make tweaks. Highly recommend it if you have a design project, especially if you want things to be accurate and, like me, don’t have fancy rendering skills. It’s also very fun.

So What’s Next?

Well, I want to dial in the design some more, using the Spoak AI programs to flesh things out. But meanwhile, I’m finding local artists to teach me how to do their craft – not so that I can actually do it, but just because I think it will be so fun to learn and show you the process. So I’ll be making our tile (working with a local ceramicist), making the stained glass doors to a special room (with a stained glass expert), and get this, constructing some really basic kitchen cabinetry (I need a carpenter to help me on that for sure). I’m basically doing things the most complicated way possible, in the name of learning. So no more “simple but special”. This house is going to be “complicated and exciting” (but not like a circus house, I promise).

Opening Image Credit: Photo by Kailtin Green