Happy Sunday, everyone. Some big shoots have been happening that you’ll get to see with your own eyes in the next few weeks. We promise you’re going to love them! This is also our last week with Em until she embarks on her spring break adventure so it’s going to be a busy one:) So take a few minutes to relax with us before it’s pedal to the metal time. Let’s link!
This week’s house tour is just the definition of cool elegance. The mix of seating, the color palette, the way the art is hung. It’s a must see!
From Emily: A show to binge – unsettling, sad, disturbing, but well done. As you know, I’m a former Mormon and also an influencer but that’s where my commonalities end with Ruby Franke – the YouTube mom who destroyed her family, abused her children, and really shocked the world. The 3-part Hulu documentary recently dropped with 1000s of hours of unseen footage and interviews from her husband and two oldest children. Like all moms (or humans) I have such intense compassion for these kids… Listen, there are dark underbellies to all things, and I don’t think this is a specifically Mormon story but I get extra creeped out when I see things in people that I see in myself and then they end up doing what she did. It, of course, made me wonder if I’ve ever exploited our kids for my career (I really don’t think I have and they BEG to be featured more which I don’t). But the whole “striving to be the perfect mom” thing, I fear is Mormon cultural conditioning and something that I need to watch more closely in myself… Anyway, watch the show if this piques your interest. It’s 3 hours and fascinating (and seems as though the family members involved really wanted to do it to help tell their side of the story).
From Marlee: A recent read that I truly have not been able to stop thinking about is I Who Have Never Known Men by Jacqueline Harpman – it follows an anonymous narrator who has been raised in an underground prison along with 39 other women – they have no measurement of time and don’t know how they got there. The 39 women remember their lives before their mysterious imprisonment, but our younger narrator’s knowledge of the world (and of herself) is only shaped by what she has learned from the other women. It sounds bleak – and it is – but it’s haunting in the “I’m never going to forget this” type of way. It’s dystopian and a little sci-fi, discusses womanhood, friendship, love and death, and is deeply introspective and thought provoking. It’s a short read (200ish pages) and packs a major punch. It’s one of those books where you go in expecting one thing and it turns out to be something else that you didn’t necessarily want but you’re not mad about it? That’s how I felt at least. If anyone has read this and has similar book recommendations please let me know because I’m itching to feel this way again!
From Mallory: I (luckily) escaped the LA rain last week and ventured over to Hawaii for the trip of a lifetime!! Before I left I found a Nordstrom giftcard in my wallet and snagged this insanely gorgeous dress that’s perfect for any spring break trip you may have coming up (and if you’re in a time crunch you can order online and pick it up like I did FYI). I felt like a princess walking around in this bad boy – it’s very high quality and has the cutest drop waist but doesn’t lay super tight which was ideal after mai tais from Monkeypod (which I just found out are the most delicious mai tais ever if you happen to be traveling to Maui – go there). Anyway, shoutout to Farm Rio for always nailing fun resort wear and cool patterns – and shoutout Caitlin for showing me the brand years ago!
From Gretchen: If you saw Jess’ post a few days ago, outdoor spaces are on the mind–and on mine too. I have a small deck attached to my place, roughly 10ft by 10ft, and I am slowly but surely getting it ready to enjoy this summer. Soon I’ll be inheriting a few gently used outdoor furniture pieces and I’ve been on the lookout for some additional decor pieces to bring it all together. The main problem is my deck isn’t looking the prettiest at the moment–the railings are grungy from the rain and the decking is a little worse for wear. I stopped into World Market to do some prop shopping for a shoot we had and found myself checking out their outdoor rug selection. I was pretty impressed! I’m still pulling together my moodboards for my outdoor space, but I’m really leaning toward this rug. I like that it’s fairly affordable and even more so that it’s reversible, so I can spread out the wear or change up the feel of the space. It looks like a rug I’d keep inside, which is also important because I have french doors that connect my deck to my living room and I’d like the spaces to feel fairly cohesive. But I was also eyeballing this green rug, because I do feel like some color out there could be nice (and it’s about $50 cheaper), but I’m not sure if the pattern is too much for me. We’ll see. Both are on my rug ‘yes’ list for now until the furniture is in place and I can get a better idea of what will look best!
From Jess: In case any of you are Summer House watchers, I am a huge fan of Amanda’s current style. To me, she’s the epitome of the effortless cool girl. I want to dress like her when I grow up even though I’m older:) So it was very exciting when she announced her second capsule collection with Otra Eyewear. I’m so happy for her and the sunglasses are, of course, extremely cool. I really love these.
From Caitlin: I’m a few weeks late, but I really enjoyed this piece in the New Yorker on the democrat-driven housing shortages in our major cities. In our attempt to safely regulate the construction industry over the past several decades, we made it nearly impossible to build at all – it’s a glaring policy failure that contributed to the mess we’re in now. I’m a major YIMBY type (and a card-carrying member of the Congress for the New Urbanism, to boot!) and am really heartened that folks on both sides of the aisle are leaning into pro-housing, pro-building policies – I genuinely believe the world will be better when we’re not spending a majority of our income on shelter. (If you’re interested in learning more on this topic, Ezra Klein’s new book Abundance drops this week.)
From Arlyn: Remember that time I wrote about fiber and almost the entire comment section of the Link Up was about fiber? (It was like two weeks ago haha). Well, I forgot I meant to share the Mott Fiber Chart I got from my dietician that has been so helpful for me! It’s nowhere near complete—I wish it better compared things like black beans vs. pinto beans (which are a fiber powerhouse, FYI)—but it’s been a useful tool for me and maybe it will be for you! Happy fibering.
Thank you for stopping by and see y’all tomorrow. xx
Opening Image Credits: Photo by Kaitlin Green | From: Another Design Box Checked – The Kids’ Bath Wallpaper Reveal!
Marlee, check out Bel Canto and/or State of Wonder by Ann Patchett. Short, easy reads of magical realism (hostages held in a house by terrorists make unlikely relationships) that have stayed with me for 20 years! Xo
Me too! Loved both of these SO MUCH. Also, Pachinko has stayed with me for several years.
This an old one (from 1984!), but it’s a trilogy. Native Tongue by Suzette Haden Elgin. It’s stuck with me for 20 years, and I’ve re-read. Fascinating sci fi / futurism about a society that prizes intellectualism and language, and how women subvert the patriarchy. Powerful and eerie. Tons of reviews and 4.1 stars on Good Reads.
Marlee, I just ordered the book you recommended. Have you read the book “The Wall” by Marlen Haushofer?
Yes, “The Wall” is very much in the spirit and mood of “I Who Have Never Known Men.” I always think of them together.
I’ve been using Good Housekeeping’s top-rated Redken Acidic Color Gloss Sulfate-Free Shampoo and Redken Acidic Color Gloss Conditioner. I like how GH actually tests products and measures them scientifically: Beauty Lab scientists tested the latest shampoos for colored hair both in the Lab using technical instruments to determine which made color last longer and on consumer testers to gauge how they work in real life.
I’m curious how much people are spending with their stylists. I love mine, but it feels like she raises her prices every time I go in. Plus, she has a solo shop and her 3 default tip percentage options are super high. I usually get a cut, color and partial hilite.
My girlfriend group was just discussing the cost of hair cuts and color. All of us agreed that it is getting ridiculous. Plus the push (at least in California) to put in hair extensions which cost upwards of $2000!
If your stylist owns her shop, traditionally there is no tip.
Wow, I am so curious about what her default tip options are since it seems 20% is industry standard. Whats she putting down there…?? I’m extremely put off by default tipping options and wouldn’t return if it was crazy!
Yes! My stylist has 20%-25%-30% as her default tipping options. It makes you feel cheap when you pick 20% but she charges $300 for cut/color/hilites, and I feel a $60 tip is more than generous. She also works for herself.
My stylist charges $60 for a cut and does a beautiful job, that I especially appreciate after cutting my own hair during the pandemic. I suspect that’s very location specific
Not having nuts and seeds on the fiber chart seems bonkers to me!
I always love Caitlin’s recommendations and writing. Thanks Caitlin for your thoughtful reflections, great taste, and engagement with important ideas. It resonates so much with me. Would love to see more from Caitlin!
I Who Have Never Known Men was my favorite book from last year. You’re right, it’s bleak, but somehow not depressing? I came out of it feeling awed. I feel a similar way when I read novels by Ursula K. LeGuin – The Left Hand of Darkness is my favorite of hers, and her short stories are worth reading too (and, if I can veer away from fiction, her essays are phenomenal).
Oooof!, that Ruby Franke documentary was disturbing. It amazes me that people can be so easily brainwashed. Even as a therapist, I have difficulty believing it can happen, but I know it happens. More easily than we’d like to believe. Misinformation and disinformation is dangerous. I think it’s worse now that people can get so much information online and 24 “news” stations. If you build your house of cards on lies and untruths it can end in a bad outcome.
I grew up Mormon and it doesn’t surprise me at all. When you’ve been exposed to dogma and high demand religion from a young age, you find yourself acting in ways that don’t make logical sense once you are out of it, but that felt completely ok while you were in it. When something feels “off” but literally everyone around you is normalizing it, you convince yourself it’s ok. I think ex Mormons as a group really understand how easily people can be manipulated.
Megan, have you read/listened to Leaving the Saints by Martha Beck? I have it on hold at my library; just wondering if it’s any good.
No I haven’t, sorry. There are so many really great TikTokers and people sharing their experiences leaving the LDS church. IMO it is a unique experience compared with leaving other religions. The LDS church genuinely tells its members it is the ONLY true church on the face of the earth, so that when someone loses faith in the religion, they often lose faith in God completely and go through an existential crisis, not to mention the difficulty navigating relationships with family members such as parents who believe that the person leaving is choosing a path that will keep them apart for all of eternity. Sam Harris has said that exMormons make the best athiests and I think that’s because it’s still a relatively young religion, so when you lose faith and then deconstruct it, you can see how this same pattern extends to other religions and organizations. It’s a wild ride! There are therapist popping up in Utah, Idaho, etc. whose main focus is just to help people navigate leaving the LDS church as the numbers are growing, especially among women.
Caitlin always gets it. Thanks for the thoughtful recommendations!
Thank you to whoever chose the image from the kids’ bathroom wallpaper reveal to top today’s post. The reason? I have been in love with this painting since the early days of Emily Henderson. I think it debuted on one of her HGTV series, but my dominant memory is of how it “anchored,” in my view anyway, of that cool triangular-shaped, sectioned bookcase in her home. I will admit I look for it all the time, and feel a bit gloomy when I’ve not had a glimpse in a while. I missed the original post, but today, there was THE DOG PAINTING, and all is right with the world.
Marlee: Check out Little Bee by Chris Cleave. It’s beautifully and skillfully written – the writing itself is almost a character, driving the story. But it’s also sad and sweet and hopeful, and certainly memorable.
So so hard to read but incredibly beautiful book.
MARLEE!!!!!!! Yes, that book is amazing and haunting. For anyone hesitant and wanting a content warning for a book that starts with a women’s underground prison
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. it has no sexual assault or violence
Marlee – have you read The Only Ones by Carola Dibbell ? Sci fi / dystopian, also my wonderful aunt’s debut novel at age 70 🙂 Also recommend Anna North!
Ha, Arlyn, I thought you were referring to fiber, as in “fiber arts”, and I was about to go on a hunt for a post on fiber that I missed! Alas, I’m good on fiber in the prebiotic ruffage sense, so I’ll just wait patiently for an Arlyn post on fiber ARTS!
HAHA this made me laugh!
I had the same reaction!hahahah
Not short, but I loved The Old Drift, by Namwali Serpell – multi-generation family saga that mixes magical realism, sci-fi, futurism, and a chorus of mosquitoes to tell the modern history of Zambia.
I also recommend Every Rising Sun, by Jamila Ahmed – 1001 Arabian Nights from the perspective of Shaherazade.
Great roundup! Loved the mix of thoughtful reflections and fun recommendations—Marlee’s book pick sounds especially intriguing