Skip to content
Lifestyle
What I Tell My Friends To Read, Watch And Listen To: A “Best Of” April Media (Online Gossip Included)
I consume a lot of media, but all in the form of articles and podcasts. Some of my “best friends” are Dr. Becky, Kara Swisher, Brene, Dax and Monica, Derik Thompson, etc. So when I hang out with my actual friends (or Brian, poor Brian) all I do is talk about what absolutely fascinating (IMHO) thing I learned about media, tech, psychology, parenting, etc that I couldn’t stop thinking about. Today I figured I’d share them here, in a very conversational way with all my online friends :)
Podcasts:
This month Jonathan Haidt (social psychologist) made the rounds on all my favorite podcasts with his new book “The Anxious Generation“. I’m not the expert (he is) but I think we all know that social media is causing massive mental health problems in teen girls specifically (well, all children, all humans, actually). He offers solutions that we happen to be aligned with and what we are doing with our group of friends (it takes a community to all agree on terms so that kids don’t feel totally left out). So yes, buy that book but if you are like me and love podcasts then you can catch him on Plain English (one of my favorite weekly podcasts that I look forward to) and Joe Rogan (who I don’t listen to but I’m so glad that Jonathan Haidt was on it because it reached a lot of men and therefore dads who can learn this valuable knowledge and bring it to the parenting table). The gist of it? We should be parenting more on all things digital and parenting way less outside of the house (aka, if you are going to helicopter and be paranoid about shit – it shouldn’t be about them roaming free in the neighborhood, we should be far more careful of them having freedom on screens and social media). But he offers solutions which I LOVE and am FULLY BEHIND.
The Rise and Fall of Ruby Franke
OOF, this story killed me and I feel such compassion for her kids. A Mormon mom Vlogger with 6 kids, Ruby documented her more disciplined/questionable way of parenting for a large YouTube audience. Then it became very tragic as she became highly influenced by her “mentor” who I think is the real criminal here. Both are now in jail and the dad is trying to get custody. Her children will be scarred forever and I can’t stop thinking about some of the stuff that she put them through in the name of punishment – truly wild and oddly sick. But I also have a lot of compassion for her (she seems genuinely remorseful after months away from this terrible other woman and may not ever be able to see her kids until they are adults when it is on their terms). Such a tragedy. She grew up very conservative, likely conditioned to perhaps not have independent thoughts or to think critically. Like was her brain fully formed when she got married and started having babies? (at 18 I think). I don’t think I would be mentally well either. Anyway, it was depressing but obviously, I can relate to the Mormon and influencer part of it so I found it gripping (and to be clear, also very very very tragic and sad and I’m glad that justice was served).
Brene Brown With Esther Perel On Unlocking Us
Two powerhouse females that I admire SO MUCH came together and I could have listened to them talk for days. Brene took a year off social media and the podcast (I was devastated about that for a while) and she has some thoughts on how humans are attempting to survive in a world that we are just not built for anymore (i.e. Tech, AI, and just too much, too fast). Esther Perel is a relationship expert and she has some incredible insights per usual. I don’t want to spoil it, so please give it a listen.
Unlocking Us On The Dangers Of Putting Young Girls In Social Media
Yes, this is absolutely a theme for me – as someone who lives a public life on social media I simply can’t consume enough content about the dangers it is for kids and what we can do to protect them and raise them to be mentally well citizens. This one was about the NY Times article about all the mom-created Instagram accounts for their young daughters and all the nefarious and creepy shit that happens afterward (and sadly many of the moms know this and likely need the $$ so continue to do so – it’s sad on many levels). My daughter is obsessed with cheer so this hit home and boy do I wish that the cheer industry would be more like swim team and calm it down on the sexualization of girls with these costumes and makeup (admittedly it is fun to wear, but grown men are a huge online audience – GROSS). We do let our kids be in the occasional blog post or pig-feeding video but we will not be putting or letting them be in any kind of consistent content. You can read the article here or listen to the podcast anywhere you listen to Unlocking Us.
Armchair Expert With A Certified SOCIOPATH!!!!!
I can’t STOP talking about or thinking about this podcast episode. Patric is a professor and author, a happily married mother of two and is indeed a diagnosed sociopath. She talks about how she knew she was different, what happens in her brain, what she does to cope with it in order to live in society (and not in prison). Also, I guess 5% of us are sociopaths? The biggest takeaway was that in her brain (and others with anti-social emotional behavior) there is this intense pressure to do something deviant or destructive and it builds up and builds up until you do. Hearing how she learned to handle this (and not destroy her life) is just fascinating. You HAVE to listen to this.
Music – Listen And See: AJR
I took my 10-year-old son to the AJR concert this week in Portland and if they are coming to your city, GO! It was Charlie’s first big stadium concert, he knew so many of the songs and the smile of wonder on his tween face made me tear up (like a real mom – when did happy tears start flowing so freely?????). While I wasn’t that into their music a few months ago I made an effort to listen and learn the songs so we could be on the same page, share this interest and it totally paid off. We have Olivia Rodrigo and Imagine Dragon tickets this summer and this mom is absolutely loving these magical years of parenting (you know before they get really “independent”). ALSO, Charlie is learning to play the drums and seeing a drummer rock out I think was really inspiring (so the lesson here to me is exposure = inspiration).
Watch
I barely watched any TV this month, except teen romance movies with my daughter (truly magical). Love is Blind was awesome per usual, as was One Day (despite me complaining that their meet-cute did not warrant their friendship, the ending was I mean…I don’t want to spoil it but MY GOD). But watching To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before with Birdie was the highlight.
Enjoy everyone and see you tomorrow with more design content. xx
Opening Image Credits: Photo by Sara Ligorria-Tramp | From: My Girls Weekend at The Ojai Valley Inn
Tell me more about your community to all agree on terms so that kids don’t feel totally left out! Was it totally grass roots? All the 6th graders in our school have cell phones, and I’m holding out. It has been tough, and I’ve thought about caving.
Grassroots sounds great. There’s also the Wait until 8th movement – delaying smart phones for kids. I’ve heard the founder speak – compelling information and a practical solution (once a grade reaches I believe 5 families that are delaying smart phones, you’re plugged into who those families are and when a new family commits to this in your community; it takes away the “but I’m the only one” argument).
LOVE these recommendations – thank you! And so glad to be seeing more conversation about how to establish healthy boundaries with all the tech/social media in the world. Thank you for sharing how you “walk the talk!”
I am searching for the episode of Plain English with Jonathon Haidt and can’t find it anywhere. Is it possible it was a different podcast you heard him on?
I think it’s the “Why are American Teenagers So Sad and Anxious?” episode.
Found it! It took me a while :)
It is from 2022, so I only figured that out by googling it! lol
Hearing Patric on Death, Sex, and Money with Anna Sale was wonderful! There’s usually too much banter in the Armchair Expert for me but Death, Sex, and Money is always a favorite overall, but especially this episode!
Yikes. Everyone is entitled to their opinion but reading you paint Ruby Franke as a victim and calling her earlier parenting style “disciplined/questionable” is a bit of a shock. For readers who aren’t familiar with the story, before she started following her “mentor,” she withheld food from her kids and made one son sleep on a bean bag for seven months. There was a petition circulating to bring attention to the abuse years before she connected with the person who ultimately influenced her to duct tape her children’s legs, make them work outside without sunscreen resulting in severe burns, beat her children, and rub chili powder in their wounds.
Personally I think all of us are a byproduct of our upbringing, but as adults, we are accountable for our actions and there is a point where any sane individual – let alone a mother – will not cross. So again, a little shocking to see Ruby Franke painted as a victim.
Yeah exactly. That’s why Emily said she’s probably mentally unwell, and most likely caused by her upbringing. Perhaps she was treated this way growing up, doesn’t mean she gets a free pass because she didn’t know better.
The podcast with the sociopath was one of the most interesting and illuminating show I’ve heard. Gives you so much to think about as far as how the mind works. I also love Arm Chair experts show “Arm Chair Anonymous” They pick a theme each week (like “Bad Dates” or “Snow Accidents” and then have 4 or 5 actual listeners give their stories. Some are a bit harrowing, but like tragedy + time equals humor most are just laugh out loud funny. Things we humans get ourselves into! I also just rewatched an excellent true story series that came out awhile ago on Netflix. Trigger warning it’s a story about a rapist so if that’s something you don’t want to deal with its not for you. It is so well done, writing, production and with several strong, smart, women actors that are just excellent. The two female detectives are compelling and get the job done. They are great characters played by two awesome actresses. If you are someone who can handle some dark material this might be a keeper for you. Its a series named “Unbelievable” because of young woman who was raped but she didn’t act the way the… Read more »
Unbelievable was incredible! I have never met anyone whose watched it!!
Love these recs! Thanks so much!! Would love a round up like this a few times a year!
that nyt social media/young girls and their parents article was so beyond horrifying on so many levels. IT is revolting that men do this, and absolutely toxic that any parent would consent to men getting special packages of photos or used clothes from their underage daughters. Gross. GROSS
Ugh! So sorry you had to listen to the uneducated, election denier and Trump lover Rogan.
I love your list! I listen to all of the same podcasts except Plain English, which I’ve just added to my queue. ?
SAME! I hadn’t heard about Plain English, and an so psyched to add it to my Pod roster, even though I already listen to so so many! lol It looks good! I have been an Armcherry for years now, but love finding new great Podcasts! And I am also adding Brene’s Pod finally (I don’t know why I have been resistant to her for some reason) and because I love Esther Perel (I am an AMFT, therapist so of course I do! ). Thank you Emily for so much new stuff to listen to and think about/enjoy! :-)))
Love all the recommendations, but I had to come here to say that I had the same experience about the AJR concert!
Our first family concert was last year with Ed Sheeran. We drove 5 hours to Dallas and had such a good time, that we committed to go to at least a family concert a year. My son is 12, so we don’t have much time before he doesn’t want to hang out with us. Two weeks ago, we drove 3 hours to Kansas City to see AJR!! It was amazing!!!! My son knows all their songs, all know a bunch and my fav is Don’t throw away my Legos. Last week we saw that Image Dragon is coming close to us and guess who got tickets? My son doesn’t know yet, but this year will be in 2 family concerts!
Just made me so happy to read that we had a similar experience!!
I love this post! I am listening to the Brene Brown/Esther Peres, and it’s wonderful. Thank you for this!
This post was fantastic! I know so many of us who think you have great taste across the board, me being one of them! So, I love when I can learn about something interesting, cool or beautiful from you! I love that you got so choked up seeing Charlie at his first concert. My Dad took me and my best friend to my first one, Billy Joel (which, if any peeps that are fans of his know, his concerts are amazingly good!). Now wondering if he felt the same way you did, well…at least deep inside maybe as he isn’t the emotionally expressive type. :-). Thanks for sharing the music part, as I haven’t even heard of AJR (crap that means I’m old?! AKK), and given a tween liked it I wasn’t totally sure if I would like their music but I went from this post to Spotify and listened to some songs, and now I like them too! Lol!!! But, I like you, love to read YA fiction and also love love Taylor Swift so probably wasn’t a stretch for me to like them! But thanks, lately I love learning about music that is more current that I don’t… Read more »
GOOD roundup. I love that you have created a community standard around phones and social media – getting people to agree on a rule is the strongest way to protect your kids.
I’ve been enjoying Finally! A Show, which is a look at a day in the life of various interesting women around the country, like a twentysomething chess grandmaster and a woman who owns a plus-size formalwear boutique. It’s intimate and fun, and it really affirms the value of all these cool, unknown people.
Celebrity Memoir Book Club continues to be my favorite podcast. Goofy best friends read the books so you don’t have to, serving up all the dish + jokes. It’s a good time.