Design
Birdie’s New Tween Girl Wall Color (Bye Bye Butterflly Wallpaper)
Birdie has you readers to thank for this change, and she is SOOOO thankful (and excited) 🙂 Here’s what is happening. She and I picked out this wallpaper years ago (she was five the first time she saw it), and we both loved how colorful, whimsical, and happy it was (just like her). Cut to a year or so after we revealed the room (when she was 8 or 9), when she sheepishly (at first) said it didn’t feel like her anymore. And while I was bummed, I also should have known better than to lock in a kid, style-wise, so early, especially a kid who loves fashion and style and clearly expresses herself through it. My style changed so much growing up (still DOES!!!!), she’s not wrong to want to make her room a representation of who she is now – a tween girl! And if I had been a smarter mom, we would have painted and not done a fancy wallpaper to allow for such identity switches in the first place. So…
I’ve been telling her since she was 8 that we can change it when she’s 13. That felt like an appropriate amount of time to live with it (6 years). Now, to an 8, 9, and now 10-year-old, waiting til 13 is an eternity. She brought it up all the time (once a week) and was never once bratty about it, but she just really, really didn’t want it anymore (she thought it was baby-ish, which is cryptonite to a tween). I did my best to understand her point of view, while holding the boundary….
That is, until so many of you came with some solid common sense and reason, defending her desire to change it. The overwhelming response was, “Why are you waiting? If you know you are going to change it, then why not do it now so she can enjoy more of it and feel like her room is hers?” I was trying to make sure she didn’t think life worked so easily – that if she changes her mind about something, she just gets to change it. There are financial consequences to this. But as she puts it while smiling so sweetly, “Mama, you let a 5-year-old pick out the wallpaper. What did you expect??” (LOLOLOL – she’s so right!!!).
I mean, how stinking cute is her room?? We made the bulletin board together (which we are going to paint). We did the window films just for fun (so easy). We painted the vintage nightstand.
We chose the shelf color and the table color together (because painting is easy – this is the lesson here).
Last year, we upgraded her bed to this green one from Article because the vintage Jenny Lind one I got on FBMP was so rickety. And as you can see, she started plastering her wall withs with posters.
What Color Does She Want???
She wants a “beige purple,” A tween girl wall color. After looking at colors together, I realized that what she meant to her was a soft purple, not too bright (but not too gray). And then I remembered that we had been through this exact situation before.
| right: design by julie rose for ehd | photo by sara ligorria-tramp from: a refresh of our favorite “child client’s” – bedroom 8 years later
Remember the kid-to-teen room that we did years ago for this sweet girl (who is almost done with college now!!!). It’s so funny. Same color palette before and after 🙂 Birdie LOVES the after room. Except she doesn’t want any vintage, which I totally get (I think she wants to be more grown up, and vintage feels funky to her).
We think we know the color (it’s for a last-minute paint partnership, which is why it’s happening now instead of this summer). We need it to still look good with the doors and carpet, so as of now, it’s Sherwin-Williams Grape Mist. It’s a really soft lavender that still had a lot of purple in it (versus going too gray or blue or pink). She loves it, I really like it, and we are on the same terms about doing it together.
So, Are We Ripping Off The Wallpaper?
Yep. It’s painful, and I’m not proud of this, but here we are (and it’s coming off really easy). Painting over doesn’t make sense, and forcing my daughter to live in a highly specific room that doesn’t feel like her for the next 8 years also doesn’t make sense. So we bought the spray, and it’s actually coming off really easily. We primed when we put it up (with wallpaper primer), and whatever glue they use now can be dissolved by the spray that releases it.
I have no idea how we’ll be during the teen years, but let’s just say there is a lot of mutual affection. Even when she says she doesn’t want any vintage in her room and no accent colors (literally just light purple and beige – she gave her brother the green bed).
Note the stuffies, which are very affectionately accounted for every night. Being 10, on the cusp of growing up with one foot still in childhood, is so fun to witness.
Well, that photo makes me want to cry. Luckily, I get to spend so much time with her painting this room this weekend because that was the caveat and our rule from now on. She is totally welcome to change her room, as long as she helps. Olivia Rodrigo will be on repeat 🙂
Opening Image Credits: Photo by Kaitlin Green | From: Birdie’s Bedroom Reveal!! Designing WITH (Not For) Your Kids, And How We Exploded This Room With Color
I’m so happy for Birdie and you for making this change together (even if it was hard-won on her part). When I was 14 my mom let me paint my whole room bright magenta and helped me pick accent colors, a new rug, and a matching bed spread (from Delia’s lol). It was one of the nicer mother-daughter moments of my teen times and made me feel really trusted. It also gave me the paint bug and now I have no fears painting my house solo…it’s a great skill to have! I painted pale yellow over the magenta when I was in college, which was also a big lesson in “dark paint takes many layers of primer & paint to cover, so plan your time accordingly”. I hope you guys have the best weekend and that Birdie loves the after 🙂 Can’t wait to see!
Ah thank you for saying this. I still feel guilty about it, but she is so excited and forcing her to keep something that didn’t represent her style felt so weird!! I want her to love her room and not have her moms job dictate what she gets to use or have. xx
So relieved for her!
My son is also 10 and I agree – this in-between age is so delightful. We are still accounting for our stuffies each night as well. 🙂
Yay!! Another delightful Mom&Birdie project!
When my daughter was born, I didn’t make a nursery as I felt like we would relocate – which we did when my daughter was 1 years old. She had her own bedroom, and I installed a beautiful neutral beige leaf “pattern plain” wallcovering. It’s temporary b/c we are in a rental, but it was still an investment to install. I love it so much. My daughter hates it. By the time she was 3, she was begging for unicorn wallcovering. Now at 6, I don’t know if she would still request unicorns, but I think maybe around 8 or 9, I’ll change it up for her.
I think i wrote about it before, but while the world (including myself) loves putting wallpaper in kids rooms it might be the one room that will change the most, and at a faster rate than any other room. I had to learn this the hard way. Whoops. I think there is a hole in the market for more cool decals – big stickers that can feel like a mural or a pattern but can be easily peeled off.
When my son was born, I put a wallpaper border up instead of wallpapering the entire room. It was much easier to take down later when he outgrew it.
This is very sweet and I think it’s the right move to let her redecorate. I am a little concerned about The Youth if what they’re aspiring to is beige, no color, and nothing vintage. I’m sure it will be lovely in your hands but it just sounds so joyless!!
Considering the number of posters she already taped up, I have a feeling the room will be plenty personalized once she has her hands on it! (And “nothing vintage” cracks me up as a sweet slight pre-teen rebellion against mom’s style 😂😂😂 If Emily only used all-new stuff in her work, you know Birdie would be hitting the thrift!)
TOTALLY. I just smile and let her have her opinions because I can so see what she is doing and i’m all for her need to separate herself. I also just love the opinions (and at least we aren’t arguing about crop tops). She recently said she only wants purple posters but mostly wants ‘paintings’ 🙂
My son was super excited to choose wallpaper for his room with me and chose some awesome options, but then I lost my job and we no longer had the budget. So he got stuck with the existing beige wallpaper with huge leaves (it’s totally fine and really nice for a grownup). We decided to lean in since we couldn’t change it and did a “treasure island” theme with all stuff we had except a loveseat we got off FBMP and he loves it so much!
I love that you leaned into it! I hope all is well now! xx
Yaaaay! I’m so excited for Birdie! There’s no feeling quite like being proud of your space and feeling reflected in it. Also, what a pretty color. I can’t wait to see the after!
Just to reassure you, as someone cheerfully raising a family in a low income bracket, if you didn’t have the stunning financial success you do you would 100% still want to update your tweens bedroom and then again as a teen! Because you love your kids! You’d set a tiny budget and then make it exciting for them to choose within that budget and you’d happily go without things for your own self since that’s just what parents do. A tweens bedroom becomes a refuge through the changes and turmoil of middle school and continues to become a place of increasing independence and self individuation for a teen. It makes sense to prioritize at any budget, so please don’t worry that you are spoiling your child and simply bask in the fun of it with your daughter 🙂
Thank you so much for this. Seriously. I think you are 1000000000% right. xxxx
I own that blue (used to be white) console desk! I got it at Nadeau “Furniture With a Soul”. Who else loves looking for stuff there? All their items are new but have a vintage vibe.
Our daughter’s room was that color [very similar, anyhow] when we moved in and I generally paint everything, but she liked it! She was 12 at the time and she left for college last fall and we still have never painted that room because it turns out that it’s almost a neutral and works well with many designs! 🙂 Can’t wait to see the new look!
Been there! We did a whole mauve room with aqua and got matching bedding and then two years later a change was needed. My daughter is now almost 16 and has very specific ideas about what’s cool and acceptable (but still loves stuffies). My ideas were never what she really really wanted and i finally just let go and helped her make it what she envisioned. She’ll be gone to college in just two years and if only I could go back for one day, I think I would give up alot just to re experience all those times. Enjoy it mama!
This is wonderful news! I love the color choice too. It sounds like she’s been taking notes from Arlyn’s “low contrast design” 🙂
I don’t know you or your daughter, but the side by side pics of you testing swatches made me (in my mother’s words) “all misty.”
me, too, girl. me, too 🙂
I was locked into wallper I picked when I was 10, so I truly applaud your willingness to lose the wallpaper in Birdie’s room and paint instead. When I was 19, we sold the house, and I’m sure the new owners wished that I hadn’t picked out that wallpaper. It was green, orange, and yellow plaid, which matched the pants I was wearing on the day I was rushed to make a selection.
This is so sweet. Some of my best childhood memories are from all the times my mom and I redecorated my bedroom. She and I shared a love for decorating and it was basically the one thing we didn’t argue about. She is gone now, but I have those memories and my continued love of decorating.
AH, i love that. We are having so much fun together and some of her friends are coming over to paint and they are so excited, too. So far its been really positive (once I got over making the big change). xx
That photo where you’re cracking up at something she, and this entire topic, says so much about your relationship with Birdie. So sweet and definitely inspiring when I think about my 6 year old and our relationship.
Ahhh,… You get it, then. She and I are so stinking close and i’m low key obsessed with her (and the feeling seems mutual as of now so I’m leaning in HARD). so an excuse to do another big project with her is so exciting (and as of now she can’t wait to work for me once she’s 12, and i’m like girl lets do it now!!!).
This was so sweet to read and I look forward to seeing this beige purple in action.
Well I’m now a puddle after reading this sweet post. Oh, how life goes so fast! So sweet to see the two of you working together. Makes me really excited to work with my daughters when they’re a bit older 🙂
it goes so fast. both kids were gone on friday night and I was alone (cleaning, listening to an audio book, drinking wine) and couldn’t help but be a bit sad thinking about then graduating in 6/8 years. too fast, y’all. Too fast.
Yay! to all of this : )
One thought/question -did you save any of the wallpaper? To re-use as a picture mat or wrapped box/journal or a bulletin board or on the back of a bookcase -or anything else to commemorate the era..?
YES! and we have a couple leftover rolls, but that is the idea (Gretchen gave that idea). It will likely be nostalgic 🙂
PS. Or maybe use remnant wallpaper pieces as the book cover to one of those faux books that is actually a hiding spot for special mementoes..? A photo album cover?
Okay, I’m done : )
Again, YAY!
This made Sue Sue cry a little. I know we can’t stop Ellie from growing up, but jeez, it’s kinda killing me…