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End Of Summer Check-in And A Quick Note To All The Moms And Parents Out There
I told my friends the other day that when I run for office (which I often threaten, sometimes as Mayor sometimes President depending on the mood/problems I want to solve and usually after a couple glasses of wine) my #1 goal will be to pass a new national holiday for parents – an “organize your house and life day off” at the beginning of the school year and another one right after the holidays in early January. The kids will go to school, and grandparents will step in as substitute teachers so the teachers who are parents can also take the day off. It would 100% benefit the country writ large. I know I’d be a better leader if my house and schedule were fully organized. Could we do this organizing on a weekend? Maybe! But we want to actually spend a nice time together as a family on the few summer weekends we get!! And then fall sports slam you in the face so fast that your weekends get gobbled up, driving kids all over town. Oh, and that’s another thing, I will also run on the “No sports on Sundays” platform. Being raised Mormon, you just had church and family day on Sundays, and dare I say I think it’s what we need as a society (church or no church, just a rest day to reset, connect, and ready yourself and your house for the week). When did Sundays become such a kids’ sports day????? I was talking to Sean Lowe about how it is in Texas, assuming it was held more sacred there since church is more widely attended, and he said, “nope, so many football and cheer practices,” because sports are such a thing there. Do we need to move to Utah!!?? It’s just out of control at such young ages, IMHO. Last spring, we were spending 4 hours on a field on Sundays (plus the 1/2 hour commute) and then had tumbling practice in the afternoon on the opposite side of town. This fall, we made the kids choose between sports, which is a bummer for them, opting for family time instead (they have mixed feelings). I’m down for weeknight practices, our kids love structure and anything to keep them from asking for screens (especially as the days grow shorter and darker). But give us our weekends back!! A game or two at the local school? FINE.
Anyway, in an attempt to assert my will, I closed down the office last Friday and today for a four-day weekend for myself and the team. We went camping over the weekend, and I’m using today to go through all their closets (with them, as school hasn’t started yet) and purge and organize their new clothes. School starts tomorrow, so we’ll meal prep this afternoon, which always makes me feel like a “good mom,” lol. Let me know if you want a “what we meal prep and why” post. I’m not an expert, but I have dialed it in (and I listen to podcasts or audiobooks while doing it, which keeps me entertained and feels like good “me” time). It usually takes 3 hours, but I really do enjoy it (the kids might “help”).
So no real blog post today – the one we had planned that Jess prepped for me to write fell through my cracks, and that’s ok. I find the end of August so challenging – we aren’t done with summer (Labor Day is next weekend!) and yet we are forced to put on our fall brains. Most moms I know are very discombobulated and feel all out of sorts. You want to enjoy the last weeks of the long days, but then you look at your family calendar, and it’s just too much. Oh, I want to push back about the whole “let your kids be bored” thing. We all want to do that, of course, but the screens these days are so addictive and tempting that it’s just so much easier to have organized sports or after-school activities than deal with them asking for them (even though we have clear boundaries and they know when they can/can’t have them). We do a ton of scheduled weekly playdates. My mom, who is helping to raise my nephews, agreed that screens (specifically video games) have made parenting so much harder, so much more of a battle, than when she was raising her 6 kids in the 80s and 90s (just go outside!). That made me feel better. Our kids don’t have phones or anything (we are adhering to Jonathan Haidt’s four rules for screens), but between the video games and the ultra-processed food everywhere, I feel like we are constantly battling these really addictive things that are just so normalized. Or maybe I listen to too many podcasts? Maybe…
That’s all to say, hang in there, moms/parents. I’m obviously spoiled that I control my company and can give extra days off to myself and my team (which always makes me feel better – to not be the only one to benefit), so I hope you all have some time for yourself. Use one of those mental health PTO days if your company gives them – that’s what they are for. Brian is the lead parent and does 50/50 house/parent work here, so I can’t complain, and yet we both feel a bit stretched. I know that it’s just that we haven’t settled into the fall routine yet and have too many fun social engagements, which will be reduced soon. And “SOUP-tember” is right around the corner (which is code for yes, a lot of soups, but mostly just a healthy structured routine of school/work, exercise, going to bed early, staying in at night, cooking and romance novels :) If you haven’t binged Modern Family or The Good Place with your kids yet it’s a fantastic time to start. We have nightly TV family time from 7-8 pm and need a new show that we’ll all enjoy, because those two have kept us entertained for the last year. Any suggestions for 10 and 12-year-olds?
Happy back to school to all those parents, and thanks to all those who support us :)
Opening Image Credit: Photo by Kailtin Green
Yes to no sports/activities on Sundays!!!! May I also add, a team bag of equipment the kids communally use versus me buying my five year old a helmet, bat, bag, and uniform for t-ball? I grew up in MA, somewhat religious but nothing major, and we didn’t have sports on Sundays either. One practice a week, a game or two and that was that. Things have gotten so out of hand where youth sports is concerned IMO. Anywho, happy back to school!
3 cheers for the team sports bag suggestion! I mean, with *every* family buying equipment, wouldn’t it make more sense to contribute to a team sports bag for every age? And seems less wasteful. Also they had SO many games – I had a 5 year old in baseball and there were 4-5 things a week, including double header games lasting till past 9pm on a weekday. It’s a LOT – does anyone else feel that way?
Vote for Emily! And I would love to hear your meal prep routine. Always looking for suggestions!
Same here! It would really help us out!
I understand where you’re coming from — these are common problems for many. Back-to-school and juggling all the things is wild. I wonder if this discussion on boredom might be better placed in a group of similarly situated parents who can relate, because the kids have two dogs, three alpacas, two pigs, a pool, an art barn, a sports court that can be used for pickleball, solo wall-hitting, basketball, etc., sewing machine, piano, tv room, front porch swing, and a giant property to explore. And they have each other. Why do they need playdates when there are sports and school? This is all beyond most kids’ wildest dreams.
Alice, while I understand your point, all children are bored no matter their privilege. Our five year old is quite privileged but utters the words “I am bored” at least once a week. There is a lot of research to support play dates especially with children age adjacent to the child. I am slightly confused by the comment, “I wonder if this discussion on boredom might be better placed in a group of similarly situated parents who can relate.” This is her blog. And I certainly relate. Thanks, Emily.
Absolutely, all kids get bored, and they need to hang with their peers. I grew up with lots of extra-curricular activities and sports and homework and chores. We had a wonderful dog and yard and books and games and toys. Yes, we got bored, and we got creative. I can’t imagine the responsibility of spending enough time with all those animals and enjoying the rest of the amenities at the Henderson’s. They are very lucky. My nephews are very privileged…their parents won’t get them a dog because they are too busy to be fair to a pet. There are so many levels of wealth and opportunity. Em’s followers are a wide spectrum. I guess it’s fair to cater to the wealthy sometimes. At any time, but especially in this era, probably a lot of us feel icky hearing the top percentage of wealth complain.
The fact that it makes you feel icky is a you problem, something best kept between you and your therapist. I wasn’t raised with much but now my kids are surrounded by wealth and it brings its own set of problems. I’m allowed to grouse about challenges I face raising my kids with wealth, even knowing how hard my parents had it raising me with less.
Emily, I’d love your meal-prep ideas. After cooking for my kids for 20 years I’m tapped out. My kids have heard “make yourself a turkey sandwich” all summer.
Of course you are, and everyone is, allowed to voice their challenges. I was very lucky as kid. I don’t talk about this with people who had less opportunities. Especially now that more and more people are un-aliving themselves because they are in impossible circumstances. Not that there has ever been a time in history when that hasn’t been the case somewhere, but you know what I mean. I just feel like this is an extra-sensitive time for society, not me specifically. This is the time to be humble and quiet except to stand up for others. I really appreciate Emily’s efforts in using her awesome property to raise funds for the school. And often she will reference her childhood and how it was different. She is a generous and thoughtful person and writer.
Alice, while Emily is no longer very relatable for me, she certainly isn’t “the top percentage of wealth” by any means.
Most months I live paycheck to paycheck and my family and I live in a rental, yet Emily’s post about her kids being bored is super relatable. Honestly it’s actually helpful for me because it’s a solid reminder that no matter what we are able to provide for our kids they’re going to still be bored! My kids can walk to our local pool which cost only a dollar, play in our tiny vegetable garden, watch TV, enjoy every board game and toy invented, and yet they are still constantly “bored”. Do I ever enviously wish my kids were as fortunate as Emily’s kids are to have an Alpaca to play with? I know it’s shocking, but no. Am I surprised that Emily’s kids are still “bored” despite having a pickle ball court in their backyard? Again, no. 90 percent of my backyard is concrete so it’s essentially a middle class persons version of a pickle ball court. Do my kids joyfully ride their bikes around it for hours on end? Nope. So I’m glad to know that bored kids is a universal issue that I would not be able to solve with more money. It’s super relatable. If you… Read more »
I‘ll vote for you right away…
Young Sheldon is a great series for a family. It’s set in the 80’s and is a wholesome and very funny show
Second Young Sheldon. Very funny.
YES! came here to recommend the same!
If you can handle the kids hearing adult language, try Taskmaster (on YouTube). We laugh so hard as a family and it’s an easy show to watch for a series, stop and then come back to. It takes an episode or so for them to get the concept and we often realize we’re missing some of the jokes because they’re British BUT it’s a beloved family show in my house. Mine are 9 and 13.
Yes I second this!! There is a taskmasters jr that you can start with which doesn’t have language.
Oh my gosh, the host of Taskmaster Jr. is hilarious!
OOOH i’ve never heard of this!! thank you!
My show recommendations:
–The Middle with Patricia Heaton
–Home Improvement! I’m rewatching it and loving it all over again.
Our kids the same ages love The Middle but couldn’t get back into some of the sexist parts of Home Improvement – a LOT has changed!!
Our family doesn’t do sports on Sundays, and we’ve had great experiences with i9 sports. Practices and games are both on Saturdays. The location is always the same and parents are very low-key.
This fall, we’re trying taekwondo at our little town’s dojo! The dojo offers family classes (This is the holy grail of sports for me, personally.) after dinner a couple of days a week. My kids aren’t extremely passionate about organized sports, so there hasn’t been any complaining about quitting something else.
I would love to read more about your meal prep routine, personally!
I made my daughter, at age 8 or 9, choose between soccer and ballet because to really get better at either required a lot of time. We found out that requiring her to make that choice was better for her and for our family. She spent the next decade focusing on ballet and refining her skill as a dancer.
My two cents: Don’t EVER feel guilty as a parent for making kids choose between activities and narrow their commitments (and the time you spend driving). They might complain but it’s far better for their mental health, brain, and emotional development to focus on 1 or 2 hobbies/sports than 3 or 4. It’s the difference between superficiality and real accomplishment and understanding. And especially if they plan to go to college, most colleges want to see commitment and development in a particular activity rather than dilettantism in a bunch of things.
Most physical therapists, orthopedic doctors, and sports medicine specialists I’ve talked to would not agree with you. They say focusing on a single sport isn’t good for growing bodies, as it trains in a single way and can cause overuse injuries and other harm in the long-run. It doesn’t mean that you need to do four sports at the same time, but over the course of the year mixing up what you do is VERY good for kids.
The site would not let me post a link, but I highly recommend seeking out “Overuse injuries and burnout in youth sports: a position statement from the American Medical Society for Sports Medicine”
Thanks but that report makes clear it’s referring to “elite-level travel team selection, collegiate scholarships, Olympic and National team membership, and even professional contracts.” That’s not what I am talking about. The vast majority of our kids will never compete on that hyper elite level. My daughter focused on ballet but never with the goal of pursuing a career as a ballet dancer. She had all the benefits of commitment but without the hyperfixation and overtraining that you are talking about. And in fact the report you cite also criticizes the practice of signing kids up for 3 or 4 intensive sports.
My point: It’s much better for the child and for the family if the kid picks a sport and focuses their attention and time on it in a reasonable way. And they can in their spare time pursue other forms of exercise for the balance that you are describing.
Now that my youngest is 22, I look back on some of the decisions we made about screens and extracurriculars with mixed results. We delayed phones (and, further, smart phones) longer than most. Our kids happily played together longer than most siblings, we delayed video games (and the abandonment of video game rating restrictions) longer than most, and we encouraged them to focus on one organized sport (swimming, primarily because we have long winters and there is no “season” for swimming, different levels practice mostly concurrently, and it is a lifetime sport) and music was always allowed as an additional activity. I’m not sure it made much of a difference in any way other than the great fortune of a lasting sibling bond. They have each started their own version of limiting screen time and are finding their way to lasting enjoyment of physical activity. My only clear misstep was not engaging in sports and activities more, right along with them. This is something I see you doing well in your family, and i think kids who have sincerely enjoyed family time and can jump into a friendly pickleball tournament and hold their own are doing just fine. Good vibes… Read more »
Yes yes yes to a meal prep post! I am always looking for more tips in this area and find when I’m meal prepping food I actually want to eat, it sets the tone for everythibg else. I had a really wonderful summer but I’m feeling ready to embrace a new fall routine!
Here to second a meal prep post! We’re vegetarian and I’m currently searching for cookbook full of deli salads— like New Seasons style. I figure it’s the only way I’ll eat a healthy lunch— even if most of my family won’t touch it yet.
I’m interested in meal prep content!
I’m a grandmother and am watching the addiction to screens with apprehension, adults AND children. You even see toddlers using their parent’s phone to keep them occupied. Watching television was the ‘babysitter’ in the past, but it wasn’t pervasive like tablets. IMHO, the reason there are so many weekend organized sports is that we no longer feel it’s safe to let our kids just go outside and play. My kids had parameters but spent lots of time outside, riding their bikes, etc. I would never let my 8 year old granddaughter go outside without her being in my vision, if something happened on my watch, it would be terrible.
I’m now middle-aged and have only just learned to really relax and do nothing on Sundays! And finally got rid of the Sunday night blues as a result. Growing up for us was a mix of sport and Mass on Sundays (and Saturdays!) and always a roast dinner. With six siblings we all played loads of sport, learned multiple musical instruments, ballet, played in school orchestras and participated in school productions, read voraciously, listened to music, went to the beach and swam in our pool, had to help with the housework, did homework, hung out with each other and STILL managed to get bored but no-one cared less about kids getting bored in the 70s and 80s!! We were told only boring people get bored. And usually were given more household jobs to do if we were dumb enough to complain of boredom. TV was the taboo thing back then and we were not allowed to turn it on during the day – and I still don’t! No play dates back then – playing was far less structured and kids had greater freedom and more personal lives. We did a lot as a family but somehow also did as we… Read more »
1000% agree with this post. We avoid sports on Sundays, which in our area means our kids play rec, not travel. We are also navigating how to limit screens, and it is a tough one. I tell my sons that I try to respect how much they enjoy screen time, but the need to respect my perspective and the family rules.
I am definitely interested in your food prep routine, but with an additional note: if you are going to do the post, could it be sooner rather than later? If it doesn’t post until end of Sep or later, I prob wouldn’t be able to incorporate it into my routine and that would make me sad.
Cheers to all the families who are hustling to plan play dates, get kids to activities, prioritize family time, and prep healthy meals. Solidarity!
HAHA. ok well we MIGHT even shoot it tomorrow actually (re meal prep). I like the deadline :) Or heck, if I don’t have time then maybe a fun new opener and I can just list what we do. stay tuned!!
We all enjoyed ‘Win or Lose’ on Disney+. At first it looks like it might be a bit young, but it was so relentlessly, charmingly inventive that we parents were never bored.
Seems like a simple solution,simply boycott Sunday attendance that your kids are involved in!
Good luck and solidarity to all the parents out there! I wanted to offer another perspective on screen time, which I understand won’t work for every family… we actually have been able to keep up with almost zero screen time for our 9 and 13 year olds, and I swear it’s been easier than trying to constantly navigate/negotiate the boundaries around video games or individual devices. We watch a movie together once a week with a projector, but there’s no tv on the wall tempting us. They get plenty of exposure to computers and tablets at school, but no personal devices at home. They can’t ask for it if it doesn’t exist! They have plenty of friends whose families have made different choices but (so far) they don’t feel left out of anything.
They play together, they read a ton, they play instruments… they also make a mess, fight, and get bored (I think those are givens no matter how you do it!). Again, mot saying this is the “right” way to do it but you’re a parent of a younger kid, I’m here to say it’s possible to just kind of opt out!
I’d throw in Shark Tank. Nice bc each pitch is 10 minutes so you can do one or the whole episode. I love my kids seeing creativity, hard work and ingenuity IRL.
Anne with an E! Please watch and then share how much you loved it! 💖
My son is 11 (almost 12) and in addition to some mentioned (Modern Family, Young Sheldon, The Middle), we have enjoyed Brooklyn 99, Everybody Hates Chris, Fresh Off the Boat, Parks and Recs and his all time favorite, Malcolm in the Middle. He likes funny, family oriented sit-coms best, and I wish a great new one would come out. Oh, and we also watch Wednesday together.
You should check out Abbot Elementary!
My 11yo really liked The Middle and we’re also watching 911! nice amount of “disaster” and “excitement” without being too scary, and everything resolves in under an hour!
When I grew up in the south, Sunday meant closed stores, open churches, and no organized sports. I vividly remember when my daughter’s soccer team decided Sunday was a great game day. It seemed as if an avalanche of Sunday sports quickly followed. If you weren’t playing a game, you could always go shopping! Now as a grandmother, I see entire weekends filled with my grandchildren’s practices or games or recitals in addition to weekday games and practices. Times change and that can make choices more fraught than previously. Peer pressure, adult and child, plays such a role in our decisions. Hats off to all of you parents who do your best every day!
would love a meal prep post!
Try Psych? 10 yo maybe too young but if you have already Modern Family then it will work.
I find this discussion regarding boredom fascinating. My kids are young adults now, but I never worried that our kids were bored, it didn’t even enter my thoughts. I think “boredom” has become looked upon as something bad or something to avoid. I find that kids today try to fill their boredom with phones, ipads, tv, gameboy, etc. instead of sitting with it. Maybe writing, reading or going outside to play a game, run around, play hide-n-seek. Too many parents are trying to fill their kids days with activities, play dates, etc. Kids need freedom to be bored, to think on their own, to figure out how to make friends and be creative. I think we have lost that and it is showing up as mental health issues as kids progress through their adolescence.
Could not agree more. My mom, a child development specialist, has always said that a little boredom is good for kids.
I’m all for no sports on Sundays in theory, and agree in a perfect world it is much better all around. The reality is it would mean fewer kids participating in youth sports, however. The explosion of kids participating in youth sports (which most people would agree is a good thing) means that fields near me are fully occupied from the end of school until dark (or after if there are lights) on weekdays, and from sunup to sunset on weekends. If there are no games on Sundays, half the games can’t happen. Maybe the answer is fewer games (every other weekend instead of every weekend), but something has to give.
Actually, it appears that the number of children participating in youth sports is in decline.
I don’t seem to be able to post a complete link, but here’s some info on participation in youth sports: projectplay.org/state-of-play-2023/participation
For us grandparents who travel to see grandkids during the school year, we cherish our on-on-one time with them. We don’t mind Saturday sports, but Sunday is tough since we usually have to fly home afterwards. Don’t have answers, just adding our perspective…
And all too soon you will be packing them up to go off to a dorm room at college. Enjoy the crazy.
I hear what you’re saying about wanting a designated day of the week for rest, but as someone who is not Christian and is very worried about this country becoming a Christian theocracy, I think it’s great to have different options, and we can sign our kids up for what works for our family.
Parks and Rec!
Such a thoughtful post! A great reminder for parents to pause, reflect, and recharge as the new season begins. Really appreciated this note.
Yes please for meal prep content!!
Love this! Show recco for 10-12 year olds, “All The Sharks” on Netflix. Very fun to watch with my son, we both enjoyed it. You do have to like sharks though! :)
My almost 9 and 12 year old have been loving watching Lower Decks as a family. It’s really fun, and doesn’t take itself at all seriously. Fun if you have never watched any Star Trek and as someone who grew up in the TNG era my husband and I are enjoying the call backs :) Highly recommend. My older son and I have also been really enjoying Strange New Worlds but some of the episodes are too scary for my youngest.
Also 💯 agree on keeping Sundays (or a day, whatever works for your family’s schedule) free. One of my kids is into sports but he’s in house league soccer 1 evening a week instead of rep purely because it just doesn’t work for our family. And it means he can do rock climbing and musical theatre and piano and swimming and math, all of which he loves. I know he could just do soccer and likely be pretty good but he’s still young and this means we have a lot more family time together.
I should say, all those are weeknights and walkable from our house. We are lucky to live in a big city and I know there aren’t so many options everywhere.
I love this so much! It really sounds like you guys are doing an amazing job. I have 4 kids, 15, 14, 12, and 9, and we don’t do sports on Sundays and it’s been really lovely and they’re not bitter about it at all. We limit their screen time too and have had to back off and cut them out at different times, which can be hard, but they adjust after a few weeks and end up really enjoying it. They’ve even asked for boundaries with screens because they know they can’t manage it themselves. Anyways, I respect how you and Brian are trying to lead your family and how you’re trying to do what’s best for your kids.
Quick question, if you have time, where are those blue vintage-y shorts from that you’re wearing? Love them!
They might be the YPB sprintTEK High Rise Lined Short in Navy from Abercrombie?