Lifestyle
Arlyn Is Moving… Here Is Her Honest, Slightly Overwhelming & Totally Real Process For How She Chose Where To Raise Her Family
Nearly eight years ago to the date, Emily Henderson offered me a job as her new editorial director and changed my life. At the time, my then-fiancé Charles (now husband) and I were living in South Florida, and my “welcome to the team!” email spawned a flurry of neck-break-speed logistics common with moving cross-country, over a short six-week period. It wasn’t one we were expecting by any means, but we had long been talking about uprooting for someplace new. Never did I think it would be 2,500 miles away…removed from family, friends, and everything we’ve ever known; but we were game and boy are we glad we took that leap.
Our time in Los Angeles has been a wild ride. Multiple new jobs, new friends, a pandemic, parenthood, and so much more. I grew a person (Evelyn!), birthed a whole design book (coming at you Fall 2026!), survived wildfires and earthquakes—and traffic. Ohhh, the traffic. As it happens when you’re stretched beyond your zone of comfort, we’ve grown as individuals, as a couple, and as humans. I care so deeply about things that were completely out of my purview before 2018, and I have our time in California to thank for that.
And now, this chapter of our lives is coming to an end.
As I write this, I’m surrounded by piles of bubble wrap and garbage bags full of donations, box inventory lists swirling around my head day and night, Zillow notifications pinging me with new rentals to check out. We’re in the midst of another cross-country move, back to the coast that bred us. When you’ve been a part of a community that you love wholeheartedly for almost a decade, it’s hard to imagine what your life will be like outside of it, but we decided that our long-term needs as a family will be better served elsewhere.
So, Why Did We Decide to Move…& Where?
You know that saying, “Pick a random place on the map, move your entire family there, and everything will fall into place?” No? Doesn’t ring a bell? Well, that’s what we decided to do…sort of. When we first got to California, we suspected it wouldn’t be the final stop on the scavenger hunt of our lives. We agreed to stay for as long as it felt right, and to be honest, there wasn’t a specific moment that screamed at us to leave. It was a million tiny things. The $30 parking garage ticket at the pediatrician’s office. The two-hour commute for my husband when he had to show his face in the office. Jobs slowly becoming uncomfortable.
Big cities come with a lot of pros, of course, but the cons start wearing on you more and more the older you get, especially when you’re raising a kid. But the biggest factor? The path to homeownership felt as futile to us as pouring water into a leaky bucket. Everyone is feeling the extreme pinch of the rising cost of housing—er, everything—across the country, and in LA, where we are, it’s laughable. Homes in my area run you about $1 million a bedroom, and that’s not an exaggeration.
Where could we go that was still somewhat affordable, had work for my husband as an architect, provided quality education for my girl, and actually felt like a place we wanted to live as a mixed-race family? That was NOT an easy equation to solve. Atlanta was at the top of our list since before we ever came to the West Coast, given that my best friend lived there and we had always enjoyed our time when visiting.
But after our time in the hustle and bustle of the City of Angels, we wanted something slower and smaller than another major metropolitan. I put on my investigative journalist hat and narrowed in on a spot that seemed to check many of our boxes: Raleigh, North Carolina.
What Made Us Decide On Raleigh
I had been to the state of North Carolina exactly two times before putting a pin on that city in my vision board. Once, nearly two decades ago, on a work trip to a city called Lillington, and again to High Point for the furniture market there. It was never on my radar, like…at all. My parents had brought it up a few times, as we have some extended family there on my dad’s side, but I always brushed off the remarks with little interest.
But then one day, as if I were a cartoon character and a lightbulb appeared above my head, Raleigh entered my brainspace and wouldn’t leave. I saw it everywhere: In the House Hunters episode I was watching, on street names and buildings, in conversations with strangers. Even here in Los Angeles, Raleigh was stalking my consciousness. Not one to ignore that kind of seemingly divine intervention, I started researching and comparing what that city had to offer with what we did or didn’t like about where we currently live.
It’s super important to take stock of the advantages of your existing life wherever you are, so you know what you’re not willing to give up when leaving it. Here were our “musts” we were trying to find elsewhere:
- Safety
- A sense of community (we have the most amazing neighbors here, with an annual block party, people checking in on us and our kid if they don’t see us around for too long, bags of hand-me-downs, and gifts for our girl every time we walk outside. It’s just a dream…that we can’t afford for the longhaul sadly)
- Access to lots and lots (and lots) of green spaces and parks
- Bike and walking paths
- Great schools
- Local family-friendly events
- Plenty of options for work for both Charles and me
- Being surrounded by lots of educated people
“But Arlyn, if where you live checks all those boxes, why are you leaving?!?” Allow me to remind you of the following: $1 million PER BEDROOM. We are currently topping out at nearly $4,000 a month for a 2-bedroom townhouse with a windowless storage room we use as an office. It’s just not sustainable anymore.
Owning a home, peace and serenity, proximity to family, and safety are paramount to us and what we want out of our lives. So after following the whisper in my brain to look into the Raleigh area, I realized it hit the mark in nearly every area. I let the information simmer in my brain for a while before leaning in hard to convince my husband to commit to the move. He had always agreed we needed to make a change, but he’s a Hesistant Harry classic overanalyzer who would need some mental massaging.
I put together a Powerpoint presentation complete with cost analyses—I literally made a one-for-one grocery order on Instacart at our supermarket and one there locally that felt comparable; I pulled the cost of things like pizza and takeout we normally eat here; I sourced rental properties and ran the numbers of how much we could save in a year toward a downpayment; I bookmarked a dozen or more homes that I thought we could remotely afford; I even looked up jobs for my husband and researched employee-submitted salaries. Friends, I did my RESEARCH. And then I sat him down one night after we put our daughter to bed, slapped that presentation up on our flat screen, and walked him through, slide by slide.
By the end, he knew I was serious, and more importantly, right.
It was time to start planning…for real.
When We’re Going & What’s It Been Like Planning A Move
To give you a sense of our timeline, this has all been in the works for well over two years. Slowly marinating and bubbling along. We even booked a trip in the fall of 2024 to go visit and ensure it was everything the internet told us it was. Spoiler: It was way different from what we were envisioning, but not necessarily in a bad way. Then, last year at around this time, we decided fall 2025 would be our target move date. But then we panicked and felt rushed, so we pushed it to January 2026, with the intention that my husband would start job hunting beginning in September or October, and if anything came to be prior to the new year, we’d jump.
But as life happens, it got pushed a few more months, and here we still are. But fear not, because finally, the movers are booked, the car transporter is scheduled, our plane tickets are purchased, and the mayhem of packing began a few weeks ago.
Even with a years-long runway, it’s felt like such a whirlwind in the end. Every waking moment I’ve had since last fall has been spent looking up and interviewing preschools, comparing moving options (more on that in a second), reading Reddit for intel on neighborhoods, that kind of thing. I’m panting in exhaustion from it all, but all with a throughline of intense gratitude for even being able to consider changing our lives for the better. I fully recognize not everyone has this privilege.
How Much Is All This Costing?
The short of it: It’s very expensive to move, especially across the country. At the start of this process, I figured we’d just do the same thing we did when coming out from Florida, just in reverse. But things have changed since then.
When we moved out here to California, we rented a standard-size PODS (a 16-foot container). To my memory, because I cannot find a way to log into my old account and check, that was roughly $2,000 plus an additional hundred dollars every month we had it in storage while we looked for a place to live.
This time around? That same PODS was over $5,000. And because we had amassed more furniture and stuff since adding another body to our family count, we would need an additional half PODS to fit our things even after selling some things off. In total, after discounts were offered, our PODS quote was nearly $10,000. Add to that the cost of movers to load it up here properly (we had no interest in doing that ourselves and breaking our middle-aged backs), and the cost of movers there to unload it, and it would likely be an additional $3,000. Now, I did read all the tricks on Reddit about how to get PODS to further discount your order, which involved pretending to cancel and all that jazz. But without the song and dance, a “low-cost” move for us was going to come in at around $13,000. Before we paid for our cars to be moved, or got on a plane, or rented a car, or put a deposit down on another place.
That just wasn’t settling right in my mind. Having to handle the logistics of the PODS (which we didn’t have any issues with the first time, but regularly get horrific reviews online for logistic issues, routing errors, shoddy container conditions, etc.), plus the logistics of two separate moving companies for that much money, left me wondering if there was a better way.
“Mallory used Roadway when she moved to New York. Ask her about it,” Jess suggested one day a few months back. Using a full-service mover felt completely out of reach to me, money-wise, not to mention the horror stories you hear about things going missing or huge after-the-fact charges being thrown at you unexpectedly. But how much more could it possibly cost than what the PODS would total in the end?
After rave reviews from Mallory and every influencer on the planet that has also used them, I reached out to Roadway for a quote, not really expecting it to be a viable option for us, but still hopeful. I got connected to my super helpful coordinator (shoutout to Rodrigo!), who patiently and thoroughly had me walk through every one of my rooms to create a rough-draft inventory list to build out a quote. It took about an hour of me sitting in the Ralph’s supermarket parking lot (poor timing on my behalf) to give him a clear picture of how much we were bringing with us. Almost immediately, he sent through a quote for around $10,000, including licensing and insurance, but not including packing, which we would be doing ourselves. “What’s the catch?” I wondered, assuming the price would change greatly along the way, expecting to be hit with an invoice twice that big at the end. Was that a lot of money? OF COURSE. My goodness. But it was still less than the PODS all-in with two sets of additional movers.
Unlike other cross-country moving companies, Roadway’s whole thing is transparent pricing. You can see it all over their verified reviews across Google, Yelp, BBB, and Trustpilot. I read so many of them, and they all commented about the service, the fair pricing, and the overall professionalism they deliver. Their trucks and teams are theirs, unlike other movers I’ve hired in the past that act more as third-party facilitators.
Sure, we haven’t finished the whole process yet since our move is still a few weeks away, but I promise to report back on how it all went. What I can say for now is how easy it has been to catalog everything. My rep, Rodrigo, is a text or phone call away, and honestly, he’s been a friend and counselor throughout the transition. “Rodrigo, I forgot to add our bikes and my daughter’s scooter, and we decided not to take the sectional,” I’ll message him. He simply updates the inventory list and updates the price instantly, so I can see where we are with everything. No guesses, no surprises.
(In full transparency, I asked Roadway if they would provide me with a lower price since I was a writer and could recommend them in any article that made sense. I’m by no means an influencer with any significant following, so I wasn’t banking on anything, but they generously offered me a discount on my total price. The $10,000 or so I mentioned earlier—which was actually brought down to about $8,500 per a manager deal before any partnership talks—was the quote without any reductions. And of course, every single move is different, with different inventory lists, longer or shorter distances, etc., and will likely be very different for you. But I like to get a ballpark while doing my research, and wanted to share that.)
What We’re Selling, What We’ve Given Away & The Chaos Of Packing Up A Life
As someone with packrat tendencies, this has been SO hard for me. I started this move in the headspace that we would sell half our stuff to bring down costs, hoping to buy secondhand when we settled. I greatly underestimated how much I loved our things, or how many memories were attached to everything. My friend Sara would also have me add that I greatly underestimated the volume of stuff we have, hard stop (haha, I know she’s reading this). But I’m a grown-up, and I can do hard things.
After much thinking, I decided to get rid of some large pieces: Our sectional that we’ve had for seven years and has seen A LOT of life; our dining table and chairs; the big green pantry cabinet in my kitchen; our breakfast nook chairs; and a handful of other smaller things.
Even after all of that, we are still drowning in things. So I’ve given away dozens, I mean DOZENS of bags and boxes to local charity shops and my Buy Nothing group on Facebook. Every day, I’m placing at least 10 things outside for neighbors to come pick up. Or driving yet another load of bags to Salvation Army.
It feels incredibly overwhelming right now, but I know that once we’re on the other side of things, it’ll feel so good to have offloaded so many things we weren’t using. Thank you for your service, Stuff, but I don’t need you clogging up my life anymore.
Where We Are Right Now & What’s Left to Do
So, even with a moving truck arriving in about 12 days (AGH!!!!), we still have much to do. No, we do not have a place to live yet. Wild, I know. We booked an Airbnb to stay in the first week or two while we wait for our things to arrive, but the goal is to have a real address for them to deliver to before we even leave. Finding a home through your phone without stepping foot into a place or neighborhood is absolutely anxiety-inducing for me, but it’s kind of what we have to do. We contemplated taking a weekend trip to look in person, but we couldn’t afford the time (or $$ spend) to do so with everything going on right now.
Since we don’t have a place to live, we can’t settle on a school for my kid yet. Or pick new physicians. Or join any neighborhood-centric groups to ask around about things. So far, we’re homing in on the Cary or Apex areas, but who knows! My husband is also still in the process of finding a job, with some good prospects, so that’s another part of the equation that isn’t locked in. All in all, my brain looks like that meme of Charlie from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia with all the red string going from point to point. UTTER CHAOS. But, even though my spirit can’t handle the anxiety, my brain is very good at thriving in madness. I’ve got this. It’s all going to be okay.
And that’s the long and short long of my big, life-changing news. The next few weeks will be full of a heady mix of sad goodbyes, last visits to our favorite spots, last days of preschool, more and more and more packing and wrapping and taping, and hopefully, finding a place to live.
I’ll report back soon from the other side, because with a new home comes fun new projects, new rooms to design and style, more color palettes to try out, and all the exciting things I can focus on once the hard part is over.
Oh, and if you’re a North Carolina local (especially in the Raleigh/Triangle area), PLEASE PRETTY PLEASE say hello in the comments. I could use words of encouragement, but also some new friends. 🙂
Until next time, friends…and stay tuned.
This is such exciting news! Moving puts you in touch with EVERY emotion, but I have a hunch this will be worth it. Such a great area. I’m thrilled for you and will look forward to updates.
Even emotions you didn’t know you had 😉
I live in the Charlotte area and have really grown to love NC over the close to a decade that I’ve lived here. I moved from a coastal city in Florida to a suburb here. Things will always be “different” and some of that is still sad. But the city has had its own evolution and honestly, I’d probably want out by now anyway! I have adjusted to the slower pace of life, four seasons, and so much more nature. Plus my savings account is way happier! Good luck with this move. It will be hard but you might be surprised how much you come to love it!
I lived in a coastal spot in Florida right before moving here (Boca Raton). There are still parts of that life I also miss, but now I feel like I’m collecting “lives”, all of which have been wonderful. I hope this is no different.
SF, Nairobi, and a special spot in Michigan are all my homes, even though I live in the DC area. We all live great big lives. I’m glad you treasure it!
Arlyn, I made an almost identical move about 7 years ago when my kids were 2 and 4 for very similar reasons! We moved from Boston to Chapel Hill, NC and absolutely love it here. Welcome to North Carolina and reach out if you’d like to grab coffee sometime!
Thank you for the words of encouragement! Chapel Hill looks beautiful (just a bit further out than we needed to be with where my husband was looking to work).
Hello from Durham!! My bestie Marie Brockenbrough is an amazing realtor if you need one! I moved here from NYC in 2010 and never looked back. The Triangle is such a lovely place to live.
Thank you!
PS, can’t wait for your book!
Me neither, it’s going to be good! Stay tuned!
I’ve been reading the blog for a while now and don’t usually comment but I live in Raleigh! Before that I lived in Cary for several years. Cary is still a favorite and would be my top recommendation!
That’s what we’re most seriously eyeing. We really liked it when we visited. That and North Raleigh, but work options for my hubby might be better suited with a Cary address!
Congratulations Arlyn! It will be hard but worth it. We are all cheering you on!
I can feel it!! Thank you.
Good luck Arlyn!!! We’re all excited to see how the move goes and your new place. And the book woo hoo! X
Can’t wait until we have signed on to something and can share it!
Congrats on this move! I did something similar 9.5 years ago when my husband and I moved to London (albeit before parenthood), and it was not for the faint of heart, but so worth it! I’d love to know how Raleigh was different to your expectations when you first visited. Best of luck with everything!
Raleigh was different in that it’s still pretty rural in some ways I wasn’t expecting. There were plenty of super-developed areas, and there are more coming, but it just felt so different that what I’ve been used to in CA and even in FL where I grew up. Some spots we researched online (parts of Apex nearby) seemed great, but they are all down small, country roads. We are definitely looking for a change of pace in our lifestyle, but will have to get used to some of this for sure!
I live in downtown Cary. I can walk or bike to the park, grocery store, my gym, and a ton of restaurants. I can go days without getting into my car! I would highly recommend the area. Feel free to reach out if you have questions or want recs!
Downtown Cary (and downtown Cary Park) were SO AWESOME. If eventually we could end up somewhere near there when we’re ready to buy, we’d be happy campers. Right now, we’re looking at a spot in West Cary, which I know is more suburban, but hopefully it’s close enough to get around??
ok dying to know where, but totally get why you don’t want to post that on a public blog, email with any questions 🙂
Yes, for sure! Lots of parks and good food in the area.
Check out the area restaurants – some areas feel like the south, some areas feel like an outpost of another American city and all of it’s a great mix.
I live in South Durham but regularly hang out in West Cary (it’s only a few miles away down Highway 55) and work in Downtown Raleigh. Cary and Apex are both great for families but far less diverse than Durham IMO.
Also a long-time reader and never expected to see the triangle mentioned here! I lived in Carrboro for 5 years and only this month moved to Raleigh proper. I actually have my bed and sofa moving this weekend so I feel the pain of being in the midst of moving and trying to take only the important stuff. Welcome Arlyn! Maybe we can have a local meetup sometime 🙂
Thank you. And yes, sounds like there are tons of Triangle EHDers out there!!
I’ll be your neighbor in Durham – welcome! NC is a great place for families. If you like parks and green space be sure to check out Duke Gardens and the JC Raulston arboretum when you get here.
I have both of those bookmarked!
Congrats on the new book and good luck with the move! My hairstylist moved to Raleigh and I miss him dearly.
Excited for you. I know many people who left CA because it was just too expensive. Helped some friends move from CA here to snowy MN last summer. They are saving SO MUCH money living in the Midwest plus all the nature and our state having amazing Healthcare. Best of luck to you on this move. Sounds like a good choice
I love CA so very much. I always will and feel immensely lucky I got to live here as long as I did. But I know that in my heart, I’m an east coast girl, and it’ll feel good coming back home.
Hello from Apex! First time commenting, but had to welcome you guys to the Triangle! Happy to answer any questions you may have about the area.
hi there! Thank you for the welcome, and I just may take you up on that offer. 🙂
Have you considered Durham? We love it here—strong arts community, great food, progressive scene. If you don’t settle in Durham, come visit – it’s awesome. Good luck with the move!
My husband’s sister lives in Durham, but for work and whatnot, we’re eyeing further south. I hear great things about the food and arts scene in Durham, so we’ll definitely be visiting.
Hello from Cary, NC!!!! Cannot wait for your arrival. I’m happy to chat about neighborhoods and, most importantly, SCHOOLS. Wake County Public School System is a language unto itself because there’s 100% school choice so find a friend (or call me) and talk it through before making any decisions. We moved here from Washington DC 15+ years ago and this is HOME. It’s lovely. Wishing you and your family all the best.
The school thing seems so daunting there. Capped schools, year-round vs. traditional. SO MUCH TO KNOW. I very well may reach out to you to pick your brain.:)
Oh boy! Happy to ride along with you on your journey. Happy house hunting.
This is wild to read. My husband and I are contemplating the same move for similar reasons: safety, serenity and proximity to family. Would love to know what was different than you expected about Raleigh! Like your husband, I am over analyzing this decision 🙂
It’s a HARD choice to make. Raleigh was different that I pictured it mostly because 1: we didn’t know exactly where to go or what to see when we visited, and only found some spots that felt good to us the last day we were there, and 2: it can be a bit of a shock coming from a spot like Los Angeles that’s so urban and metropolitan to a more rural, suburban area. But there were some really wonderful areas we fell in love with: Downtown Cary, North Hills was cool for shopping, my daughter was obsessed with Pullen Park, we had a great Greek meal in downtown Raleigh. And everything is SO GREEN. My goodness there are trees everywhere, which I love.
It was so easy to get around, easy to park, just…easy to live I suspect.
Thank you for the super helpful response! We LOVE downtown Cary. It’s just a little further from Southern Village in Chapel Hill which is where our family lives (and a big reason to move, for help with the kids). You may want to check it out. Walkable, super safe little community with movie theater, bars and restaurants in the center!
We lived in the Triangle (Chapel Hill corner) for five years and loved the area. We were so sad to leave that magical part of the country. I’ve recommended Raleigh to many folks, and am always jealous when they take my suggestion. You’ll love it!
Thank you, I hope we will!
I used to live in Durham before moving to South Florida (spouse’s work). If you end up deciding on South Durham area (advantage: convenient commuting to Raleigh, RTP, Chapel Hill, Durham), there is an amazing private facebook group called SoDu Parent’s Posse moderated by a friend of mine, with clear inclusivity values. It was a life saver for me as a new mom in South Durham. And the Durham Farmer’s Market is my happy place forever. Over the course of my time there, I went to grad school at UNC, worked at RTI in RTP, and then in south Chapel Hill. My husband went to grad school at NC State, then worked in Raleigh, then close to downtown Durham. We always had reasonable commutes! Greenwood School in SoDu was our daycare/preschool which I loved.
Thanks for the recommendations!
Hello from the mountain side of NC! (west of Asheville, yes there IS life beyond Asheville, don’t forget about us!) so when you’re moved in and settled, come on out to God’s country and I’ll let you know the best places to hike and enjoy the outdoors.
p.s. we moved here 20 years ago and our families have followed us to NC. You made a great decision!
One of my childhood friends lives out there. I look forward to coming to visit her and being in the mountains. 🙂
We have been considering Asheville – arts, music, food, the scenery, the love of the outdoors, but feeling sketchy about traffic and how some of the locals say it’s gotten too touristy. Currently live in a small town in the northeast of the US and are looking for something that feels like a small town but with more options! Would love your thoughts on Asheville.
Congrats! Maybe the Chris Loves Julia team has some recommendations, since they live in the area!
Yes they do live in the area! I don’t know them personally (only emailed with the team here and there), but I’ve considered reaching out and saying hello.
I grew up in NC and left to go to college and never moved back. I am so excited for you! It is a great state. I lived in Durham for two years in high school and while I grew up in a smaller town outside of the Triangle, my extended family lived in Chapel Hill, Durham, and Greensboro, all great cities. I particularly love Hillsborough, a little hippie enclave next to Chapel Hill.
I would move back if I could convince my husband – he is from the Midwest and suspicious of the South even though NC is more mid-Atlantic (I lived in Georgia later in and that is the South, lol).
However, the number one more important thing when moving to NC is to pick a college basketball ball team to support, and the right team is the Tarheels.
HAHAHA Tarheels, Got it!
This is 10000% the correct answer!!!
As someone else who grew up in NC, you are correct on the number one most important decision after moving to NC and also that the correct team is the Tar Heels, or at least never dook.
Okay gotta hop in here and say the Blue Devils ain’t so bad! I was a Carolina fan for my entire life – including post earning my master’s degree from UNC Chapel Hill – but after over 10 years of working at Duke I’m now a Duke fan! As long as you are rooting for a shade of blue I think you’re good 😂
Also, Arlyn, once you are settled in the Triangle (Durham is great but also an easy commute from Cary!), you should road trip up to Richmond, VA which is my hometown and where I now live again after many years in NC. It’s a great place!
I see APEX in your listings!! I grew up there in the 80’s. It had 5,000 residents. We affectionately called our road the “bumpity bump road.” (Actually, we lived on a smaller road off of the “bumpity bump road.”) I could find arrowheads in the fields behind my house. It was a 20 minute drive to visit a friend.
Yes Apex was the original city we over there to see. Much smaller and sleepier than I was envisioning with what you see on the internet, but still very charming. 🙂
What an adventure! Wishing you and your family lots of luck with the move.
I am curious for Arlyn or anyone else recently moving states; how much do you take the state’s voting record into consideration?
YES the voting record of the state but also the city was a big consideration. We’re coming from Los Angeles/California, so I was incredibly hesitant to move somewhere that wasn’t aligned with our political leanings, especially right now. I know NC has a complicated history and I don’t agree with a lot of what the legislature here does. But we felt more comfortable with it than, say, Georgia, based on the current governor and also the local-level government in Wake County. It’s tough, but we’re hopeful we made the right choice for us.
Thank you for your thoughtful reply! I have definitely heard very nice things about Raleigh and how it is quite diverse for its size and really prides itself in small businesses.
For better or worse, states have so much power to pass their own laws in regards to healthcare, education, etc., but any state would be lucky to have you, and I am sure you will be a great addition to your new community.
Why move to NC and try to bring Cali politics here? When we left NYC for the mountains, we came to assimilate into a culture and scene that was here long before us. I’ve encountered too many ppl who leave deep blue territory (often due to failed policy, safety issues, family unfriendliness, etc) and soon as they land, commence blacklisting new neighbors bc they don’t come with pre-approved left-leaning political opinions, virtue signaling… or worse yet voting for the same things that led to problems in the places they escaped.
Very excited for you all! I can’t wait to hear all about it!
I live in Raleigh– this is so exciting! I hope you share some of how your design changes in your new place. We love it here and I hope you all will!
Raleigh is a wonderful choice! My husband and I lived there for grad school 2016-2018 and I miss the green, trees, and local friendliness. Beautiful area and we have several friends who live in Cary and Wake Forest who love their local community!
Congratulations on your new adventure Arlyn! I know it feels awful now but give yourself lots of time and grace. (Like a year to feel settled!) You are so thoughtful abd intentional about everything I know you’ll make wise decisions. I lived in Durham for a few years awhile back, I love North Carolina!
As a 20 year resident of Cary, I was reading the beginning of this post thinking, she needs to move here! Almost spit out my coffee. Cary is SO DIVERSE and having raised 4 kids here k-12 I can tell you they can be whoever they want to be, while receiving the best education available in the US (we looked at relocating multiple times over the 20 years for jobs but just couldn’t do it) Affordable, traffic isn’t bad, super fast access to the airport, close to Raleigh and Durham for “bigger city experiences,” absolute perfection. Welcome!!
This move seems logistically smart and emotionally responsible. I hope that you find happiness with a new community for her family, more accessible real estate market, and the beauty of High Point furniture and other local artisans!
What an emotional read – in the best of ways though. Been reading the blog for such a long time I feel like you all are my close friends. Happy for you Arlyn. On to bigger and better things – glad you heard the universe sending you whispers. Excited to hear more about your new adventures and of course seeing how you design your new spaces too, hee hee. And a book?! Congrats! Can’t wait!
I want to put in a plug for Texas for any fellow left leaning folks out there. Reminder: in 2024 more people voted for Harris in Texas than in New York (4.8M vs 4.6M). The cities of Dallas, San Antonio, Houston and Austin always vote reliably blue/Democrat. Move to a big city and you WON’T be alone, I promise you.
I live in NC, and have visited Cary many times to visit my best friend. The Cary library has an incredible park attached to it – it’s got something for everyone.
Hello new friend! We used to live in DC but I am wrapping up residency in AR and now are moving to Wake Forest for fellowship. My brother lives and loves his life in Apex! Would love to connect u if you need recommendations or an estate agent.
I lived in Los Angeles for nearly 25 years before moving back to Northern California (where I grew up and my family still lives) in 2014. I missed LA deeply for probably 10 years, but we visited after the pandemic, and finally, it didn’t feel like the city I’d loved so much for so long. LA will always have a big spot in my heart, but I know we’re in our forever home now, and that feels good.
For me, the best part of leaving LA is that now, I can always find a parking space! Hope it’s the same for you in Raleigh. 🙂
Hiii! Long time EHD reader (like… 13 years maybe longer?) and Raleigh native. We lived in Seattle most of our 20s and then moved back to the Triangle for many of the same reasons. We did the math and it accelerated our life goals by 7+ years! That was huge, esp when we were looking to start our family. I hope you love it here!
We chose Chapel Hill when we came back, which isn’t too far all things considered (30+ min to downtown Raleigh, but more like 20ish to Durham which I actually prefer). Apex and Cary are great areas too, and super commutable to everything. I liked that my day to day errands (TJs, the Dr, etc) was all like 7-10 min from us in CH, and there are great, walkable schools. There’s a perfect spot for everyone here.
Arlington, I hope you’re staying with EHD and working remotely. I know that you all seem to work from home anyway. I enjoy your well researched and realistic posts.
This! I was reading the whole time waiting for Arlyn to tell us that she is moving but NOT leaving EHD. I hope that is the case.
Congrats on the move – I live in Atl but have always thought NC is the perfect state and the most similar to CA with mountains AND ocean depending on where you are. The south can be challenging, but you’ll be fine in any city and won’t feel alone in your values and voting preferences.
Do be warned that your allergies may go through a big adjustment on account of all the trees….
Also CONGRATS on the book! Can we pre-order?
Wishing you and your family the absolute best, Arlyn! I am so looking forward to your book and tales of your future adventures!
First time commenter, 8 year Raleigh resident! My husband and I had very similar trajectory to you – grew up east coast, then lived west (Denver) for 10 years. Moved back when our first kid was 2 to be closer to family.
-Give the move a year to feel “good”. For the first year we didn’t have our bearings so it was easy to miss what we left, compare restaurants, etc. Now we love it!! The smaller size means it takes less time to find your new favorites.
-Raleigh/Triangle area is not a super conservative area. It votes purple and there’s lots of diversity.
-fun kid things to do in Raleigh to get excited when you arrive: Dix Park – Look up the trolls and go find them (so cool!); Marbles; downtown science museum; go to the NC Farmers Market (open year round every day); get donuts at the Krispy Kreme on Person street (you can see the donut factory where they’re made behind the glass); and in Cary, check out Fenton for shopping/movies/food
Another Raleigh resident here! Definitely check out Marbles Kids Museum, Dix Park and North Carolina Museum of Art which has an amazing park with sculptures, musical swings, and trails galore. I’m a teacher in the public schools, as is my husband, so if you have questions about how it all works, please reach out. I hope you love it here!
Hey, Arlyn, I was just visiting a friend who relocated to Raleigh about a year ago. She and her husband grew up in CT but have lived in Boston, near me in Northern Virginia and in rural PA about an hour outside of Philly. Their daughter and her husband decided to relocate to Raleigh about four years ago and my friend was looking for an affordable, safe, friendly, educated place to retire. They helped their daughter and SIL move there and then followed. They are so happy and we can see why. Wishing you an easy move and a great start to your new life there.
You will love the Raleigh area — we moved to Apex, NC 10 years ago and as my husband says, everything works here so why should we move! Sincerely I was just at a church dinner tonight and we were all comparing how much we love the area and how glad we are to raise our families here! We have only met 1 person in our 10 years here that doesn’t like it and we think he was just having a bad day. Welcome to NC!
“I live in Chapel Hill,NC and it is just a great place to live.Cary seems to be mostly people from”somewhere else” so not as much real NC there.Apex is smaller and I think more livable. Look at Holly Springs and Durham too, all relatively close together. Welcome to the Tar Heel state!
Congratulations! My son lives in Cary, NC, a suburb of Raleigh…it is a great community, the schools are beyond excellent, so please check that area. A 5 bedroom house in the best school district runs about $2500 a month.
The only problem I have is that my grandkids are there , and I’m in the west!
Ooh, good luck to you with it all! As someone who moved a few times in my Life (from France, UK, Australia) there is something so exciting about a new start in a brand new place! Take us along on your house hunting 🙂
Hi from Raleigh! I was born and raised in Cary and went to middle & high school in Apex, so I can give you the scoop on any of the areas. It is a wonderful place to live, you’re making a great choice. If you have any questions, happy to connect!
Cary (and the Triangle) is a great area! Our friends lived there for 4 years when we were living in Virginia so we visited often. There is SO much to do in that area and beyond. We moved back to Maine but I still visit NC regularly (my 2 best friends live in the general area so we do annual girls’ weekends in the Wilmington area (Carolina Beach) OR Asheville). You’re going to love it there! Brace yourself though, the humidity is pretty brutal (for me anyway being a Northeast person), but if you can adapt to that, it’s a beautiful state and lots of great events going on at Duke University! I am partial to the East Coast (having lived in California 3 times in my adult life for my husband’s work), for the cost of living ease, as well as the 4-seasons (-ish in NC). We have done several cross-country moves over the years and it IS really tough – tiring. Our last (and hopefully final) one was nearly 2 years ago and I am JUST now calming down from it and have the last 4 boxes left to unpack this weekend… give yourself lots of time to… Read more »
OMG!!!! Big congratulations to you for doing this. I can’t wait to hear where you land and how you make it home. And I’m VERY impressed with all the research you have done and the presentation you prepared to convince Charles to go for it! Best of luck to you and your family in the coming weeks/months.