I feel like it’s been a minute since we just chatted, so in a spur of the moment decison, we put up an Instastory asking people to “ask me anything”. I know a lot of you aren’t on social media, so please ask me anything in the comments for next time! Some were personal, some were design questions, and all were so appreciated. So let’s just get right to it. You know I wanted to start with personal questions:)

Personal/Life Questions:

How does someone have the courage to move out of the state they’ve lived in for a long time?

Life is about trade-offs, and we all know there is no perfect place to live, no perfect school, no perfect neighborhood, no perfect partner, no perfect job, etc. You’ll never find it, but you can get more closely aligned to the macro and micro things that are more important to you if you can clearly identify them. I’m from Portland, and with strong bonds here and a real love for nature, we were tempted to move back for years before we did. It’s so hard once your roots are dug in. Brian and I had a pretty epic pros and cons list going for a long time, which I always suggest. Our lives were so great on a day-to-day basis, but long-term life in LA felt unsustainable, expensive, and too many future challenges that I didn’t feel equipped to handle (at the time). It became persistently clear to us that we needed to simplify, slow down, make more time and space for us, be near nature, and reconnect with my family and my childhood best friends. Looking back, we might have been able to do all of that without leaving LA or even CA, but we didn’t see how at the time (having two toddlers will do that to you). Then the pandemic hit, and we made a choice. It was the right choice for us. But we miss our friends a lot, and that’s the hardest part of leaving. Doing this is obviously much easier with a partner, but we felt that as long as we had each other and our kids, we’d be fine regardless of where we landed, and we could always move back if we made the wrong choice.

What are non-TV things you do with your 12-year-old son?

This is a fantastic question as it’s something I’ve struggled with. It’s so easy to feel close to your kids when you have shared interests. Elliot (my 10-year-old daughter) and I can do anything together because we simply like doing the same things, and Charlie and I have less interests and hobbies in common. I’ve even attempted many mama/son video game dates (which delights him to no end). But I can only feign enjoyment for 20 minutes when it’s clear I don’t get how to play, and he sweetly appreciates the effort. So lately I’ve tried to lean into what I do best – snuggle, comfort, affirm, and talk. We have our cuddle puddle that the two of us snuggle into watch TV, which is two dog beds in front of our fireplace with a fur blanket on top, and every night he says, “ok mama, our nest is ready,” which is so stinking sweet to me. (Our family is binging Survivor for the first time and loving every second of it.) We do a lot of 30-second hugs – before he leaves for school and when he gets home and it’s very, very sweet and bonding (I usually tell him that I need the hug, but I know that it calms both of our nervous systems). We do a lot of shoulder-to-shoulder chats – in the car, on walks, or casually while in the hot tub. When in doubt, I bring up stuff from my junior high years, when I got in trouble or had friend drama, which always engages him. The other day, there was a lull in the conversation (as there tends to be with 12-year-old boys), and I had heard of a friend of his getting in trouble for stealing from Plaid Pantry. So instead of asking him about it and expecting the scoop, I asked him if I ever told him about the time I got caught stealing. That boy LIT UP, full of questions and disbelief. Then afterwards, he volunteered the story about his friend, and we were able to talk to him openly about it; clearly, he felt safe. Not sure that helps, but it was a good reminder that the best way in is to do what I do best naturally, and let Brian do all the bonding stuff that they do together. Can affection be our shared interest? 🙂 If so, we have a lot in common.

Do you keep in touch with Orlando, and do you think you will work together again?

Yes! Orlando and I text and DM often and probably talk once a year on the phone (which doesn’t sound like a lot, but they are usually long conversations, so I still feel connected to him). He always threatens he’ll write for the blog, which is in the works 🙂 Social media keeps us in the know of each other’s lives, and the years we were practically inseparable (from 30-35 for me) will always keep us close. I’ll always be a huge fan. Also subscribe to his Substack!!! Its such a great read.

How have you navigated California to Oregon, mental health-wise? Do you get seasonal depression? tips?

It can be a rough transition, especially the first year (and definitely was for us – the rainiest year in 80 years!!). But we’ve acclimated now (thank god), and I’d say by late-January/early feb there is usually a 10 day rain-streak where I’m over it and just want to hole up in my room and watch Love is Blind, which I know is a symptom of SAD. But barring that, moving here has been so great for my mental health because I spend so much more time in nature, which Oregon has an abundance of, even in the winter. I try to do all the things to stave off SAD: workout, walk, make soup with podcasts, read juicy novels, make fires, sauna, cold plunge, winter hikes, organize the house, cozy bars with friends. Also, just know it’s ok to hibernate for January and sleep a lot. And then I try to book a weekend away to Arizona or Palm Springs in February with friends, or a sunny trip for spring break. Oh, and even though I haven’t successfully learned to ski, going to the mountain and being outside in the snow, learning to cross-country ski has been a huge plus. The six months of glorious green and sun make it all worth it, I promise.

Oh, and here’s a life hack for my PNW folk: We make spring break our big trip of the year and seek out sun in March. This avoids the summer travel crowds and heat, and then we just hang around here (and the rest of the PNW or Montana/Colorado) for summer when it’s just glorious. I tell the kids all the time, people come from all around the world to hike these waterfalls and see the gorge or the coast (they aren’t impressed by how special it is to live here, but they will be someday, just as I did).

Design-Related Questions:

What happens when a trendy color scheme comes along, but you don’t like it?

Omg, this happens all the time to me. Right now, “ugly” colors are in, and it’s been kind of hard! Right now, people are really into these tones of greens that feel muddy and pukey to me, or tans, so many tans! But then I’ll see them done right in a cool context, paired with bold pops, and my mind is changed. Usually, I can see the appeal of the color palette, I just don’t want to live inside of it. My first reaction is “no thank you” because it’s out of my comfort zone, but after a while of seeing it, I start to appreciate it, and then sometimes I become a legit fan. Admittedly, I’m not as risky when it comes to color as I’d like to be, so I love being confronted with a popular palette and figuring out how long it’s going to take for me to convert, or not.

How did you develop confidence in yourself as a designer?

I wonder if this question is more “how do you know when you are good at something?” Unfortunately, even outside of natural ability, it’s just through time, mistakes, taking risks, and successes. While design isn’t objective, it is nice that you can be in a room and really see that it works (or doesn’t). Enough people seem to be really happy in their homes and effusive about how it looks, which does start to feel like a win after a win, regardless of the internet. I think I’ve had more rooms that have worked than not. But mostly I like to quote Michael Jordan to my kids (and myself):

“I’ve missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. Twenty-six times, I’ve been trusted to take the game-winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”

How inspiring is that? Michael Jordan has one of the worst shooting/scoring records in the NBA. You have to take a lot of shots to win. God, I’ve designed so many rooms with varying degrees of success over 16 years, and I still miss, but the confidence is there because I guess I win a lot, too? (and I’m not a perfectionist, thank god). I don’t think there is any other way to magically have confidence, but I could be wrong 🙂 I do think there are some visionaries out there that have a distinct point of view and real confidence out of the gate, so maybe ask them 🙂

How to make time for home projects with little kids?

I marvel at any/all people who can do home projects with small kids, honestly. It takes so much desire first off, then willingness, determination, and hard work. I am spoiled by a team that helps me and deadlines that can not be missed. But when it comes to the projects that Brian and I want to tackle, it takes us scheduling them far out, getting mentally prepped for them (aka reminding Brian that we both agreed to do it, lol), and then really trying to hold us to those dates. You also have to mentally commit to the disruption if you are doing any small remodel projects, but know that they will pay off and you’ll have remodel amnesia afterwards 🙂 Have low expectations, be ok with “pretty good” (not perfect), and try to make it fun with music, friends, and a beer (that might be my general mantra in life, actually).

Are painted accent walls out? Were they ever in? I know nothing.

There are always exceptions, but yes, painting one random wall in a four-walled room a different color is generally out unless it’s in a niche or an architecturally appropriate wall to be separated. But I’ve also seen it done in a way that works!

There’s so much we want to tackle with our house! How to prioritize and funding options?

While I never want to shame our homes (hell, we are all lucky to have one), maybe go through and list the pain points in order of most painful?? Right them down and rank them? Like, what is a persistent frustration that could really shift your everyday experience in your home, versus something that is just kinda annoying that could be better? What is driving you NUTS every single day? Do that first.

How did you develop your style? Did you have any failures?

I’m still developing my style and changing all the time, which I think fits my personality, but I’ve always struggled with how many different styles I love at the same time, which isn’t very typical (most people lean hard into 1-2 genres). It’s just through exposure to styles that you start honing in on what you are most attracted to, and then you see persistent patterns. If you are like me and like a lot of things from different styles (which admittedly is the harder route), then be sure to curate or collect within a color palette so you can put things together without looking super chaotic or thrift store-y (which some people are into, just not me :))

These are really fun for me, so please ask more in the comments. xx

Opening Image Credits: Photo by Kaitlin Green