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Why I voted against Trump and How your comments have helped

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After reading all 1100 comments tonight (from yesterdays post) I was compelled to answer the question I had been asked politely a lot along the way: Why did you vote for Hillary Clinton?

So here goes.

I consider myself a liberal because I strive to care about all people, equally, and I believe that left to our own devices, we are innately all selfish and will put our needs, our wants, our dollars in front of the greater good. It’s not that I don’t think that conservatives care about people, I know they do, my parents care more about people than anyone I know, but like another commenter said liberals value equality over freedom and conservatives value freedom over equality. Both are good, its just a matter of what you want to place in front of the other.

I believe that the governments role in society is to help create programs that will let us thrive and progress as individuals and communities – regardless of your racial, socio-economic and geographic status.

I believe in public education, public health care, subsidized child care, taxes, etc. Every time I see a homeless person I see him or her as a way we have failed. Sometimes I wonder, in horror, if either of our kids will be in that position but most of the time I know that they won’t because they were raised by me and Brian, and we were given the tools to succeed in life, by good parents and strong communities. We were lucky. Poverty, drugs, crime they are all part of a cycle that is fueled by lack of education, unprepared/skilled parents and sub-par positive community support. Too many rich white men, namely republicans, have forgotten the christian values of charity, selflessness and service and instead believe that we are fully responsible for our own successes and failures. And we are to a point, sure. But the fact that I was raised by outstanding parents, in a decade/location that had good public education and that I am recreating those sets of circumstances for my kids is a god damn rarity these days. We are privileged, we must recognize that, and we must not forget and neglect those who aren’t. I want so much less disparity. Right now its just insane.

I believe that many much smaller countries have found solutions to all of these problems through government run programs. But I know that our country is too big and diverse for that kind of reform, sadly.

I also believe that our government is far too bureaucratic, too big and inefficient. I think we waste money right and left, and proper checks and balances aren’t in place and yet every time we place more checks and balances we just waste more money. But I’d rather waste money then not help people.

I agree that the political climate has grown into a ineffective storm of lame policy. Sadly I think that no one understands that more than Obama – who became such a victim of Washington politics, blocking what I deem to be progress at every point.

So yes, I am a democrat and while I don’t believe in ‘Big Government’ I believe we are all teenagers (or maybe toddlers?) and we need guidance from our parents to help us realize we are not the only people in the world and that other people matter. We need some rules, some policies, some guidelines to protect us and to constantly remind us to be better, be more empathetic, and serve others.

Now, is that all to say that I have aligned myself strongly with Hillary the whole time? I have wavered over the campaign but ultimately became pretty darn passionate about her near the end for a few reasons:

I believe that despite and because of her decades in Washington she truly cares about the American people and creating policies that are better for us. I believe that she is highly experienced in government and is extremely intelligent. I realize now that what I love about her is in a way a lot of what people disliked about her – too much time in Washington, too many ties that bind, too much money involved. After reading all your comments I do find them compelling (somehow its so much more interesting coming from you than pundits or media). I frankly also was excited to have a woman president. Furthermore I find Trump’s persona to be repugnant, negative, sexist and latently racist. Again … his persona. He is inexperienced in government (which I see as a negative, but its clear that many of you see this as a positive which I understand because I LOVED that Obama was fresh and uncorrupted). I didn’t grow to love Hillary til the end as I simply didn’t connect to her reactions and how she communicated. I am also deeply in love with Obama so anybody was going to be a hard rebound for me. I wish that I had loved her earlier and campaigned on her behalf more. For this I am ashamed.

What I’m realizing now is that we are all victims of the times, as right now America was looking for an outsider (Trump) and decidedly did not want a career politician (Clinton). Oh how I wish that we had listened to you years ago and nominated someone else this time for both parties. And oh how I wish the GOP had listened and found an outsider that was more experienced and less, well, Trump.

If I may represent liberals here, I think that what a lot of us are reacting to the seeming lack of empathy by Trump and his followers. Listen, nobody thinks letting anybody into this country is a good idea and we all believe that immigrants should go through a process to become citizens. But how he talked about ‘them’ pushed our sensitive buttons in a nauseating way. It turned ‘them’ into ‘others’ and dehumanized the very human situation. That offends our very core of acceptance and empathy – not that conservatives don’t have a sense of empathy, its just that we are hard wired to be angered by anything close to prejudice. That is our instinct as liberals – for good or bad. At the same time I think its easy for a privileged white blogger to say that she thinks that families who fled a dangerous life in Mexico should be able to just come and work and yes, take jobs. Easy for me to say because i’m not losing work. But after reading the comments I realize how much it has indeed affected your family – and with that I am also extremely empathetic and ashamed that I wasn’t thinking about that earlier.

Additionally the way he spoke about women we found deeply disturbing. While I don’t think that he thinks that women are inferior, he has consistently re-enforced sexists notions of looks, beauty and sub-par worth.  I think that he thinks that women are as intelligent as men because I’m hoping that he is a smart human and most smart humans know that. But historically he has belittled women and placed value (or removed value) based on boobs, beauty and pussy. I don’t know how to rectify this in my mind or with my daughter. YET.

Lastly while he may not himself be a racist (I’m trying to have an open mind here) he has not squashed, punished, stopped or repudiated the racism that has happened in or around his rallies or campaigns. He can’t control the actions of all his consituents, but he can do his due diligence as a human being to not only not incite it, but ask for it to stop. He seemed to like it and that is horrifying to us.

I know there are a lot of liberals out there throwing around the ‘racist’ and ‘sexist’ accusations to you voters, but i’m not actually one of them (although I do think that for some it is a factor). I really kept trying to put myself in the shoes of you and at times I definitely saw his appeal. So when he incited violence for the sake of an applause or laughter, I wanted to cry in fear of my children as all of you seemingly applauded. I hope that now that he is president and he got what he wanted that he will no longer pursue that method of destruction.

I think the larger picture problem is that his thoughts don’t represent ours to the world. We are kinder than he is. We are more accepting, more loving, more articulate, more prepared, more experienced. He embarrasses us.

And since abortion came up so strongly…. as soon as the birth control pill (or whatever form) is available over the counter and free or very inexpensive (at CVS, Walgreens, Target, etc NOT a random hard to get to government store that is only one 9-2) then we can talk about pro-choice versus pro-life. For me, personally, its less about control over my body, and more about education and access. I know how to prevent and handle/grow my unwanted pregnancy, but many, many, many, many do not have the sex education or the access to EASY birth control. Planned Parenthood was vital to me in my 20’s to get access and if it got shut down we would see hundreds of thousands of unwanted pregnancies from people who aren’t prepared to parent, which begins terrible cycles of general badness. Until there is proper sex education and, way more importantly, easy/free access to birth control then the pro-choice/pro-life is a conversation I will never entertain. Nobody, NOBODY wants an abortion.

After reading all your comments I truly feel enlightened and more hopeful. Its not that I like Trump more, its that hearing from real people with intelligently formed arguments brings me hope. I have tried over the last 9 months to find media that is unbiased and its so impossible. The media has done an absolutely offensive job of relaying the real information to those of us who want it on both sides. I read ‘HillBilly Elegy’ by JD Vance and LOVED it and that did help. But otherwise we see swasticas and ‘Hillary is a CUNT’ t-shirts all over the place, next to real quotes by Trump – all told by old white men. He made it easy to dislike him, its true. He did a great job of terrifying us with his absolutely non-issue based, non-sensical rhetoric while seemingly loving the violent nature of his crowds. I’m so happy and relieved that very few of you that supported him, really liked him. It sounds like it was time for change and sadly he was the candidate that offered that. We failed as a country seeing this need for change and certainly our media is very much to blame.

It was a bad year for all of us. But after reading this I truly feel like I understand more. Listen, if you call yourself a liberal I have something to say – OUR JOB, AS LIBERALS IS TO BE OPEN MINDED, PROCESS INFORMATION FROM ALL SIDES AND COME TO OUR OWN CONCLUSIONS. To be BIG, think BIG and include everyone in our thoughts. Just because we personally vaccinate our kids does not mean there isn’t a decent argument against government forced vaccinations. Just because we don’t like guns doesn’t mean they should be abolished. There is no way to move forward productively without researching the other side. And if you don’t do that research, you fail as a liberal. That ‘other side’ is now 50% of America. Its OUR JOB to try to understand, empathize, communicate, compromise grow and progress. Trump or no Trump we have to listen, be empathetic, open-minded and kind.

We can do this, America. It’s what we have been trained to do our entire lives. This is our emergency open heart surgery  and we have the skills, I promise. We can save this DOA situation and nurture it back to health.

Or dear god, if not, we can hope for a transplant, right? 🙂

Now is your turn, democrats to RESPECTFULLY talk about why you voted for Hillary. Go forth, respectively.

Fin Mark

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Debra

I found Scott Pelley’s commentary reassuring last night. have you seen it?
http://www.cbsnews.com/news/scott-pelley-are-we-going-to-be-ok-election-2016-essay/

Bekk

So well written Emily. We’re sitting here watching this unfold from Australia and cannot believe the outcome. I love visiting America, and actually was in LA last week for a holiday, but what you say about people valuing freedom above equity is at the core of what I believe to be wrong with America. The divide between rich and poor is so shocking. The fact that you have to consider whether you have insurance before going to the hospital is shocking. Freedom is not all it’s cracked up to be. I don’t want my neighbour to have the freedom to have a gun. I want there to be rules that stop people owning guns so that I feel safe for myself and my family. Never in my life in Australia have I ever considered that someone I encountered might have a gun on them. I am happy to pay a medicare levy to know that everyone in this country has full access to high quality healthcare if they need it. What seems to drive all of this is this notion of the American dream, where anyone can “make it”., then they will be amongst the elite who have it all.… Read more »

Carolyn

Incredible article Emily! You’ve beautifully articulated everything I’ve been thinking and things I haven’t been able to even process. I also agree even more with Bekk. As a Canadian it is so hard to comprehend Americans love of guns, military spending and lack of universal health care. So many seem to think anything even remotely “socialist” would be the end of society. Your article has given me hope for my neighbours to the south though and I thank you for that.

Bea

Me three – I really don’t understand the fascination with guns and objection to free / subsidised health care. If part of the “American Dream” is the pursuit of happiness, then why is it only 13th on the World Happiness list (mind you the UK is 23rd!).

The top ten countries are: Denmark, Canada, New Zealand, Australia, Switzerland, The Netherlands, Norway, Sweden, Iceland and Finland.

What is the secret sauce that makes citizens of these nations so content and how can we emulate them? Maybe Hygge (which some claim is the cause of their contentment) is something Emily can cover in a future post i.e. “The art of building sanctuary and community, of inviting closeness and paying attention to what makes us feel open hearted and alive” and is often achieved in Denmark by lighting candles and eating good food.

Luna

Also an outsider here (the Netherlands), but I am allowing myself to engage in the discussion, since the president of America is the most powerful person in the world, so these elections affect us all.
You have written it well, Emily. We (liberals, here ‘on the left’) need to acknowledge why people vote ‘right’. We see it in Europe, too (Brexit, for example). That’s why, I don’t think it’s about the guns or birth control in the end (because those are no issues here). It’s about people being insecure and afraid about the future and unsatisfied with their present situation. Politicians like Trump (Le Pen in France ect) take advantage of this and instead of offering real help, they turn people against each other. That is really scary and really sad.

Jb

@michelle-the answer is a resounding yes. Citizens with firearms have protected themselves and others countless times. I can’t provide figures, but I’m sure you can google and come up with plenty.

jb

I can speak a little bit to “the love of guns” It’s not that at all. It’s a love for our constitutional rights. It seems unpopular right now to love our constitution even though that’s the framework that lays out the rights of the people and the responsibilities of the Executive, Legislative and Judicial branches. One of the rights of people is to bear arms. The constitution says it’s okay AND those people had just gone through HELL to break free from a controlling government system — i trust their wisdom. Even though it was long ago they had insights and life experiences that our generation does not have. We hear a lot about ‘common sense’ gun control. Well. That sounds happy and good on the surface. But, who then decides what the line is? Who gets to decide if someone is “fit” for ownership? And if standards are set, who gets to change them down the road to include more categories of people that are unfit? American people most definitely get intense when DIRECT constitutional rights are threatened. Do I think it’s tacky for people with open carry permits to actually OPEN CARRY gigantic guns on their back? YES.… Read more »

Bobby

I don’t own a gun, but I have been around them most of my life. I am honestly not even bothered by the majority of the people that I know having them. I do find it a bit alarming that people identify so closely with their weapons, especially the way that people believe that they are the answer to their problems, or a tool to get what they want, or even worse, an extension of their egos.
It’s difficult to accept that’s it’s simply about protecting a constitutional right when everyone wants to simply ignore, or dismiss, the 14th amendment that protects immigrants just the same as everyone else. The largest problem with all of these rights is that everyone seems to remove compassion from the equation. Aren’t constitutional rights equal? Aren’t they intended to be fair?

Paula

This is such BS. Invoking Constitution and it’s lack of love. Constitutional Law is one of the most wonderful law classes I ever took. It is a beautiful piece of work, one that I love deeply. But it is only fit for 18th century. A founding father did not intend for military issued machine guns to be part of the “bear arms”. Just like the electoral college which is a failed system and declared so as far back as 18th century; it is not a one vote-one person system, but rather an over representation of small states with weirdly spread populations. The founding fathers must be just rolling in their graves at the literal accuracy everyone wants applied to the Constitution, a document that while, absolutely needs to apply, should be amended to the 21st century.

Michelle

Canadian here but this has always plagued me when it comes to the gun topic – has there ever been time when a law abiding citizen has taken out a bad guy because he/she was carrying a weapon? If so, when? Lots of reports of accidental shooting, or guns being in the wrong hands – where are the superhero stories of ordinary citizens coming to the rescue against the bad guy? Just in comic books?

sally

as someone who is moderate politically, but very, very pro gun control – thank you for a thoughtful, articulate counter-point.

JB

@paula, I can’t tell who your response it directed to, but if you’re calling my explanation BS, I’ll respond by saying that I was simply trying to answer the original question of “I can’t understand American’s love of guns.” It’s not BS to say it’s a love of rights, not guns. That’s the main reason Americans who are passionate about it have that passion. I was simply explaining from an American’s perspective. That’s all.

Jennifer

This argument really bothers me. It also bothers me that someone who is claiming to love the constitution doesn’t know it’s history. Please do some research and learn why the right to bear arms was included in the constitution. It wasn’t an idea that came from a place of “wisdom” or insight. At the time, the country didn’t have an army and depended on having an armed citizenry in case of an attack. Do you think that context still applies today?

Melanie

I am so so sick of Trump supporters touting the constitutional. I’m a lawyer. Tons of Trump supporters claim love for the constitution and yet hated on Hillary for representing an indigent criminal defendant (6th Amendment, 14th Amendment, 15th Amendment). Trump supporters “love the constitution,” but didn’t think there was anything wrong with Trump supporting Stop and Frisk (violation of the 4th and 14th Amendment). The “love of the constitution” is the argument conservatives rely on, yet they have no clue what the constitution says.

existential crisis

I guess it’s like how a few bad apple immigrants ruin the whole bunch…. Also, people responsible for mass shootings are a product of mental illness, NOT growing up in homes who didn’t inforce respect. My mom didn’t enforce respect, so i back talked as a teenager. I didn’t kill a bunch of people. I hope some day you are able to emphasize instead of just sympathize. I hope you transcend & are able to pop that justifying bubble you live in.

Lauren

I can’t help but notice that those 10 countries you listed all have universal health care (according to a quick Google search I just did). Hmmmm. 🙂

As a Canadian who will soon be seeing the sun setting at 4pm….YES to all the Hygge!

jb

@Jennifer-there’s no reply button on your comment, and I think the replies are getting all out of order. So, I’m not certain if your response is for me or not, but it sounds like it is. My response was to the original poster who said, “I don’t understand American’s love of guns.” My response was it’s not so much a love of guns, but a love a rights. I’m not going to get into a big long back-and-forth with you, but I would say that YES, all of the things that are in the constitution at present are still applicable. It’s the framework that we currently have–so there is absolutely nothing wrong with individuals wanting to claim the rights that are within the constitution. Also, as far as why the 2nd amendment was added, you’re exactly right. I don’t know the intricate details of the history surrounding the second amendment, so I’ll do my due diligence in looking into it and studying it. If I was wrong about why it’s there and what circumstances lead to it being put there, then I’ll admit it (though not here because I’ve spent way too much time here this week anyway.) However, I… Read more »

Jean

Until very recently, these countries were completely homogenous. They aren’t so happy now that they are wrestling with immigration and multi-culturalism. PS happiness isn’t the goal anyway.

Am

Hello, I’m a woman of colour who lives in Vancouver, Canada. I can assure you that Canada is not a homogeneous place. I am and have always been surrounded by diversity. I can say that is true of all Canadian cities, which is where most of our people live. Secondly, let’s look beyond the word happiness, as yes, it can sound frivolous. What does it mean to me? I don’t worry about my childrens safety, I don’t worry that their friends are hungry. While, of course, poverty exsists here, most children can go about their lives growing and learning without being impeded by poverty, racism, lack of healthcare, lack of safe housing, lack of community support. That makes me happy. I wish that for the world. My parents were immigrants from a Third World country, they worked hard but were unable to give me all the things (books to read, western knowledge to share) that would put me at the same starting point as 2nd or 3rd generation Canadians. Yet, I had social welfare to help with this inequity. This includes: public education, public health, community resources and general acceptance of my family’s religious and cultural differences. And with that,… Read more »

Sarah

I can assure you, I am happy. New Zealand.

Kate

I’m a New Zealander and I wouldn’t call NZ homogeneous. While the population here is predominantly of European descent we are, on the whole, a happily multi-cultural country! I’d say things like free, universal healthcare and education make us a lot happier than all being “the same”. Oh, and for the record, the vast majority of New Zealanders are horrified by Trump’s election. He stands for everything most of us are against.

Sasha

Canada, which is much higher up on the happiness list than USA, is also much more multicultural than USA. It has one of the highest immigration rates per capita. (please see Wikipedia article on Canadian multiculturalism, which states “Data confirm that Canada has fostered a much more accepting society for immigrants and their culture than other Western countries. For example, Canadians are the most likely to agree with the statement that immigrants make their country a better place to live and that immigrants are good for the economy. They are also the least likely to say that there are too many immigrants in their country, that immigration has placed too much pressure on public services, and that immigrants have made it more difficult for natives to find a job.”). I now live in the US, but I am very thankful that my family back home gets to attend excellent public schools, and if any of them were to lose their jobs, they will still keep their 100% free healthcare.

Debra

Please know that all Americans don’t have a love for guns.

Phoebe

I can understand how, on first glance, there seems to be a huge love for guns here. I’m a moderate and I don’t vote based on party. In this election, I voted for Hillary, as did my husband. That said, we own a number of guns in a city that has very strict gun laws. Like another person mentioned above — it’s chiefly about the constitutional rights. And in addition, I personally like to be prepared and educated. So whether it’s learning about how planets are formed, why coffee became a popular beverage, or how to style a coffee table, I similarly want to know how to use a gun responsibly, if I were ever to be in a life endangering situation. And I believe all legal gun owners should be required to have education and training that is more extensive than that of today. Police included. Guns are not scary to me, yet I didn’t grow up with a gun in the house (despite growing up in a state where that is fairly common). Because the people who are committing the atrocities will commit them, whether or not there are stronger gun laws or no guns at all. Bad… Read more »

Sam

I totally agree with you Bekk! I watched the elections from Australia too, and after the results came out, searched the internet for something, anything that would explain the Trump vote to me. I truly wanted to understand. Luckily, I came across Emily’s previous blog post, but l feel exactly the same way you do about how things are done in America, especially after reading some of the comments. As a person who migrated here from a third world country, I LOVE that we have access to good healthcare, even if it means penny pinching because of the medicare levy. We are so fortunate to have 8 months of maternity leave, and some sort of financial help for the government for single mothers, and in general, families that may find it hard to care for their children. All of this means that Australia is one of the most highly taxed nations in the world, but to see it actually go somewhere somewhat tangible makes it justifiable (to me). My heart breaks for what is currently happening in the US right now, and I can only wish all of you love and light. Also, a huge thank you to all of… Read more »

Well said.

thanks for posting this information

great post

Mika

Emily, May I first say how awesome it is that you’re not afraid to be bold and state your opinions despite the divisiveness they may cause on a blog not intended for these sorts of issues? People may say they don’t want to hear about politics on an interior design blog, but we’re all human, and some of us are hurting right now. So I thank you for not forgetting about us in between talking about pretty couches and lamps. I voted for Hillary because first and foremost, she’s qualified. She’s spent 30 years fighting for women and children, served 8 years as the First Lady, served as the US Senator of New York, and finally as the Secretary of State. She’s for equal rights for LGBTQ Americans, she supports sensible gun control, she wants to fight and fix economic inequality, and believes that climate change is REAL. I don’t have a child of my own, but I have a young niece whom I absolutely LOVE like a daughter, and I want her to live in a world where her President values science and understands how absolutely essential it is to fight for policies pertaining to climate change and clean… Read more »

Gervy

I second Mika’s views, and yours Emily. Here in Australia I’ve been poring endlessly over news articles and essays trying to make sense of all this. I’ve read some fascinating academic stuff eg http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2016/04/america-tyranny-donald-trump.html. But I knew you would have something insightful to say too. Thanks for being a well-rounded design blogger!

Beth

I agree that I also wouldn’t be as angry or disheartened, if the nation chose a qualified republican.

Liz

I don’t have a lot to add. I agree with everything you said and am a Strong Liberal for all of the reasons you listed. I also agree with Minka on Hillary. Everyone is so well spoken and passionate. The only thing I have to offer is I live in Texas where I am certainly the minority in my political beliefs. I am also upper middle class, educated and privileged. Everyone I know went to college and Id say 75% of them voted for Trump (including my family). The ONLY arguments they ever really gave me were the following. (None of which I agree with) 1- Anyone but Hillary- They told me all sorts of things about her and how they ‘just didn’t like her’ or trust her. A lot of it I could fight back on but there was some corruption there, to which I responded with Trumps obvious corruption. Either way They felt she was ‘More corrupt’ than he was. I obviously disagree but this was their point. 2- They will always vote republican. 3-Gun rights and Taxes- which is linked to number 2- A lot of people I know will benefit heavily from lifting income taxes on… Read more »

Annie

Anyone but Hillary….this is the part we all so grossly underestimated. As a liberal, a hard-working mom, a believer in equality, empathy, and social justice…of course I voted for her. But since her first run in 2008, I’ve said over and over…I’m uncomfortable and disheartened that she was the first woman to really have a shot at this. And when I forget for a split second who she lost to and where we are now, there is a tiny part of me that’s glad that it wasn’t her. Say what you will about her 30 years of service…the basic fact was that she rose on her husband’s tide. In the wake of tough realities and terrible behavior on his part, she made personal decisions which – while I respect as her own – I never, ever, would have made myself. I don’t believe she is corrupt but I do think she’s shown poor judgement on many occasions, and in many of the people she surrounds herself with. Do I think she would have been a fine/better president than Trump? Yes. Of course. The bar was ridiculously low. But 30 years from now, when we look back, I want us to… Read more »

Brenda ivester

Your language is so offensive!

Sarah

Whose language is offensive?

Marge

Can a single liberal tell me what they actually know about Trump besides what they have seen on the tv. He is not a politician, he has not been trained in the political way of doing things. He is a business man and a father. He has done very well for himself and along the way has employed thousands of people including women and men blacks and whites and people from a multitude of religions. He has never done drugs nor does he drink alcohol. Trump believes in the laws of our country. LAWS that founded this country and made us the great place we are, why else would we have so many people wanting to come here. Illegal immigrants are not a race they are people here that have broken the law hence the word illegal. My own father came to this country as an immigrants but he did it the legal way. LAWS are in place to protect us ,we can not pick and choose what laws we follow. Those who are disgusted by trumps words against women, and yes they are disgusting, I would hope that Bill Clintons actions over his entire life in public office and… Read more »

Maria Anne

Please, I just want to point out that it’s a complete rumor that Hillary laughed about freeing a 12 year old girl’s rapist. She was laughing about the fact that she was young and naive when she worked on that case, and that it destroyed her faith in polygraph tests. Educating yourself on rumors is important. There’s a lot of propaganda out there on both sides, but some of the rumors based on Hillary are proven false many times over. There is no rumor of Trump’s awfulness. He laid it bare on camera time and time again for all to see and hear. And that is what so many people have a problem with. How can I trust a man that says so many awful things about so many people? Why would I ever think he has my well being and safety in mind? Why would I be able to trust him? Nobody is trying to take guns away. That has never been the intent, and that never will be. Any law abiding citizens who have guns have nothing to worry about. It’s a crime to drive drunk, because driving a car while intoxicated can kill people. You need a… Read more »

Marge

Please research a bit farther, she did laugh while discussing getting a child rapist off . This was before she was fired from watergate for her unability to be truthful and her corrupt nature. Hillary referred to some of the women that bill abused as white trash among other unsavory words. Please understand that white trash is a racist term too. I am an educated white women with a gay child, blacks and whites in my family as well as military personnel and civilians Jewish and Christians,immigrants (legal) and born Americans. I have lived in the city and in more rural areas in seven states throughout this country as well as a stint abroad. Most of my family voted for trump because they are sick of the corruption that is know as our government. They are sick of people that expect something for nothing. They are tired of how lawless people have become who think rules don’t apply to them. They are tired of people that live in their bubble without any real perspective of how so many people in this country actually live. The ones that didn’t vote for trump did not vote for Hillary but for one of… Read more »

Deirdre

Marge- I am also an educated white woman with an LGBT child. While I completely support your right to choose the candidate you vote for, I cannot respect your choice. The allegations of Secretary Clinton’s firing during the Watergate hearings are false and have been debunked over and over. The allegations of laughing over freeing a 12 year old girl’s rapist are also untrue. The Republicans have been demonizing the Clintons for almost 25 years and they’ve finally succeeded in stopping a qualified, hardworking woman from winning the presidency. I have family and probably friends who voted for Trump, so I don’t lump every Trump supporter in with the racist, ugly rhetoric that was seen during the campaign. But honestly you all need to show us that you don’t support the rhetoric, because anti-woman, anti-Muslim incidents are already beginning to happen. It is going to be much harder to close Pandora’s box than it was to open it.

julie

Marge, have you ever come to this blog to read about design? Or are you simply searching for places where this dialogue is happening so you can give a Fox News-style response? Something in your responses suggests the latter. Your candidate won. You should feel happy about it. However, your candidate is also the one who went after Obama for years creating a fake conspiracy about him not being born in America. He’s appointing people who are on record with extremely racist and xenophobic agendas and belief systems. Far more divisive than burning a flag.

Jill

Would like to also note in reference to “laying it all bare”, that HRC was indeed on a mission to destroy the life of a 22 YO subordinate intern her wandering husband was involved with while he was POTUS. Also, that her family’s foundation (under on going investigation by the FBI) accepted millions from countries whose treatment of women is worse than imaginable, speaks volumes. These are just a few examples of why she is not, apparently, the “champion of women” in the minds of many American women who find these actions “deplorable”. How does one support a women like that? While it is true that Donald Trump has said some awful things that are also rejected, at least he came out to apologize for his actions in regards to his “locker room” speak on that bus. I’ve never heard HRC apologize to the young woman she discredited and demonized….. (along with the many others). But for that darn blue dress, the truth was exposed. The Clintons became even more powerful and made millions, the intern kicked to the curb. Not rumor, but truth.

Lauren

I think looking at Trump’s policies and those he has put in charge of his policies is terrifying without looking at his media image or rhetoric. He is using the same economic policies as Reagan did – cutting red tape and business taxes, a tax cut on income, a repeal of estate taxes and high interest rates. Which will cost trillions of dollars with the same promise Reagan made that it will bring in more tax revenue over the long run. He also doesn’t believe in global warming or a woman’s right to choose. Don’t even get me started on the horror of Pence.

What you really voted for is the same bad policies that hollowed out the middle class and left the rich, richer, the environment worse off and policies that will set women back 60 years. These are real policies they want to implement with real consequences. I hope I’m wrong, but it’s all their in black and white on his website.

Lauren

I had a typo, and can’t edit it **there not their. Ugh that will bug me.

Jen

Wow Marge. Your comments are not helping in the healing process. They are divisive and angry. I am a conservative Independent and have voted Republican in every election since I turned 18. I did not, however, vote for Trump. We know a lot about Trump based on what we saw on TV as we heard a lot of hurtful and disrespectful things straight from his own mouth over the last 18 months. I also did not vote for Trump because he does not have the experience I think someone needs to govern this country. And yes, there are men and women out there who talk about the opposite sex in demeaning ways but I didn’t vote for them either (Bill Clinton included). I agree that we need to give Trump a chance. The election is over and we all need to be open-minded for our country to be successful in the future. However, peaceful protest is one of our constitutional freedoms (just as is your right to own a gun) so don’t engage in name-calling to those who protest. These are proud Americans.

Sandy

Peaceful protests are great! I’ve exercised that right quite a few times when I was younger.
Some of these protests are not peaceful, as in Oakland. Did you read the letter from the mayor to business owners explaining why the police cannot provide protection? http://www2.oaklandnet.com

Justine

It’s kind of the pot calling the kettle black when you talk of the media spin on Hillary and disregard (or didn’t care to research) actual, proven truths. Such as stating Clinton laughed about getting a rapist off – this is unequivocally wrong, and has been proven as such. Go ahead and look it up on Politifact. Another example is “taking away guns” – this again, is false, if you read Hillary’s – and other democrats – policies. It’s about universal background checks and perhaps limiting what type of guns people can buy, as we know no one is using AR-15s or the like for hunting, and they sure don’t need to be used for protection, period. While you may use your correctly, and may have nothing in your background that should prevent you from purchasing a gun (I.e. Domestic abuse), there are plently that don’t and shouldn’t have access to a gun. That’s what I don’t get, the being selfish over the good of others. Sure, some may get them illegally, but why can’t we at least try?? Our forefathers sure didn’t have the type and amount of guns we have now, and couldn’t possible have had the forethought… Read more »

Victoria

I voted for Hillary Clinton because it is time this country steps away from allowing mostly white, middle age and older males to govern us. I voted for Hillary because she would have been at the least a good president if not a great president. But that isn’t why I’ve replied to this response.
This is directed to everyone left, right, center truth is what matters, not lies and smears. I don’t accept what appears on left leaning news such as the NYT or MSNBC but research, fact check and go to sources such as PolitiFact and Politico to sort out the truth, from the “Pants on Fire”… people who listen to Fox, or Breitbart without question and then spread those rumors many times knowingly do this country a great disservice. As already noted that was not true about Hillary’s reaction.
What is true is her statement that under Trump’s tax plan 51% of single parents will see an increase in their taxes.

Taylor

@ perfectly said, Marge!

Taylor

Well said!!!

Angelica

Marge’s comment is the epitome of the same angry arguments from privileged trump supporters that don’t get it or ever will. No reasoning.

As a woman of color with dark skinned children I was literally nervous to leave my house the last few days. Even in the diverse bubble of the Bay Area. I can’t imagine what the next few years will be like.

Christa

Here are my concerns:

His comments towards women, people of color, immigrants and muslims are disrespectful and in several cases, show a lack of comprehension of our Constitution and civil rights.

His comments about the Ukraine, ISIS and Putin, to name a few, show a lack of comprehensive knowledge regarding world politics. This kind of rhetoric is barely acceptable from a drunk uncle at Thanksgiving. From the leader of the most powerful nation on earth, it is catastrophic.

He has said more than once that climate change is a hoax. It is not a hoax. It’s happening, and will swiftly become the most devastating threat to humanity we have ever experienced. We have to take action now if you want your grandchildren to be able to go outside and breathe air and hear a bird’s song.

We humans live together on one planet, balanced on a fragile peace, and it takes great expertise not to blow the whole thing up. Trump has shown himself to be vindictive and retaliatory, prone to inflammatory statements — this is why all the world’s leaders were vehemently opposed to him.

Marcella

I’m with you, Marge!

Chloe

Marge have you ever talked to someone trying to immigrate to the U.S?… unless you are a high-achieving international student or specialized in a highly-coveted skill to get a h1-b visa, it’s *quite* difficult. We have plenty of rules and regulations as it is. Immigration to the U.S. has been on the decline since 2008.

Alanna

Thanks for your comment. My husband and I are doubled up laughing.

Melanie

Of course you don’t recall people protesting and crying after Obama won, it’s because you have a selective memory. Here’s your President-elect after Obama won: http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/donald-trumps-2012-election-tweetstorm-resurfaces-popular-electoral/story?id=43431536

You don’t recall Trump spending years claiming Obama wasn’t born in America? Or do you think that’s fake or some conspiracy? Trump was not trained in the “political way of doing things?” Oh, you mean he hasn’t spent decades not paying his undocumented workers, not paying taxes, and going bankrupt several times?

Linda

Mika, I agree with you 100%…I am a registered Republican but could not vote for him. If there had been a qualified Republican I would have not voted outside my party. (which I’ve done once before) I’m so tired of many Trump supporters saying that people are upset just because he “won”. There have been plenty of elections that the candidate I voted for lost and this is the first time in 40 years that I actually felt depressed and sick to my stomach. Still trying to wrap my head around it. And as far as Trump being smarter as President, I have my sincere doubts.

CATIE

To those of you who voted for Trump because he is “anti-establishment” or doesn’t care about being “politically correct” I invite you to look at who he is considering for cabinet posts: Gingrich, Christie, Giuliani, and his children. You cannot get more establishment than that. The nepotism is blatant. Tell me how that is “draining the swamp”. For the anti-ACA arguers: I am one of the 20 million+ people who got access to health insurance under the Affordable Care Act. It’s not a perfect bit of legislation, objectively due to the interference and obstructionism of Republicans in Congress, but it did extend access to millions of individuals who would otherwise be uninsured and drive up overall health care costs by going to emergency rooms. I agree with Emily in that I view health care as a fundamental right, like public education, so if you disagree with that than I don’t have a counter argument for you. For the anti-protestors: Democrats have won six of the last seven presidential elections in terms of popular vote. Despite this, two Republican presidents have been elected in 16 years. This comes on the heels of Trump himself disavowing the electoral college in 2012 and… Read more »

Lucy

@Catie, well-argued and correct. All of it

Katie

@Catie Yes and thank you!

Meghan

@Catie, hats off. Perfectly said.

Maya

I think you said everything I would, but more graciously than I’m capable of saying it right now.

Lisa

The heading of your post is crucial in explaining why I voted “against Trump”. Was I thrilled to be voting for Hillary? No. Was I ever going to vote for Trump? Absolutely not. As someone who spent 25 years in a field that was dominated by men, I had dealt with too many men who were like Trump. Men who harassed me, men who physically assaulted me or my colleagues where we knew it was useless to turn them in because the person we had to report it to was just as bad Like Hillary, in order to succeed to a higher level than our colleagues, we had to be perfect, not good, but perfect. I am lucky that I live in a state that voted blue but because of Social Media, I discovered the ugliness of people I once considered friends. Over and over, I saw posts that were hateful and racist. They never bothered to check their facts before posting. I am so afraid for my grandchild & what Trump’s presidency will mean. I don’t know anyone who doesn’t have a gay relative or immigrant friend or relative or know a disabled person that they care about in… Read more »

Maya

By the way, the posts yesterday helped me too. My parents are Trump supporters in Pennsylvania, and it is so hard for me not to be pissed at them right now. Yesterday’s posts reminded me of what I used to feel back when I was more conservative, like my parents– that there ARE valid reasons to support a conservative agenda, and it is demeaning and infuriating for liberals to just assume that conservatives are stupid, afraid, hate-filled, or racist. ( That said– it is REALLY hard not to see Trump and his supporters as exactly those four things.) Anyway, I am not at peace with my own parents yet, but yesterday’s post helped me get there.

THIS election made me realize how proud I am to be progressive and liberal. I always considered myself moderate before, but this election made me realize that there is only one party that shares my values today: the democratic party. I’m proud of the democrats and will keep supporting them from afar (by absentee ballot!) here in Israel (where, by the way, socialized medicine and more of a social safety net are AWESOME). You laid out what being “liberal” means beautifully.

Bea

Emily – if I had had a vote, I too would have voted for Hillary for all the excellent reasons you have illustrated above.

Yesterday, my sister wrote the following, which helped me come to terms with the recent changes in the political spectrum and the swing to the far right (something many in Europe fear for very good historical reasons):

“Brexit. Trump. It’s easy to feel deflated, down, defeated. Don’t. Never stop believing in our values of justice, tolerance and common good sense. Believe in Michelle Obama’s wise words, “When they go low – we go high.” Or as Michael Moore said only this morning, “However this ends, this is where we begin.” There are a whole mass of wonderful, bright and courageous people who support neither Brexit nor Trump. Take heart and let’s move forwards confident that we can eventually win the argument through reasoned debate not narrow populist media stories. We will not be bullied into acquiescence by racists and populists.”

Grace

I voted for Hillary because Bernie Sanders lost in the primaries. I fought so hard for Bernie and know that if he would have won the primaries we would have won this election–for various reasons–but mainly because he is NOT Hillary Clinton. The democratic party messed up; I can’t believe just how badly. I know I sound like a whiny loser bring up the primaries… But how could you not see that Hillary would lose? Democrats not doing the math (i.e. looking at the Electoral College and Upper Midwest because we should know by now the popular vote counts for naught), not looking at international politics (Brexit, rise of populism worldwide in general, and OBVIOUSLY in the U.S. as indicators of what’s to come for us), not realizing that a huge, HUGE population of people saw Hillary as untrustworthy and dishonest EVEN WITHIN THE HER OWN PARTY, NOT voting in the primaries for a candidate with a cleaner slate… I was not at all surprised that Trump won. The DNC took a bet and lost and now we suffer the consequences. If anything, I hope we’ve learned a lesson and won’t let it happen again. I think that’s why Bernie… Read more »

ANON

^^ This.

I felt the Bern. I don’t know if he’d have won, but I haven’t slept soundly sine he lost, knowing that I wouldn’t be happy with either major party candidate. I wanted better for myself and my extended family than what DNC leadership tought was obtainable, wise, or practical. I didn’t think we’d get everything Bernie’s plans called for, but I wanted the chance to at least try.

Am I anti-edtablishment? Maybe. I voted for Hillary, but only because a Trump presidency was more terrifying to me.

Jennifer

Yes! You don’t compromise by starting halfway to the middle! I wanted Bernie so badly. Only voted for Hillary because as a sexual assault victim (three times over starting in elementary school) there was NO way I was voting for Trump.

And, now that Congress is Republican and likely the Supreme Court, too, I don’t see ANY checks and balances.

I’m very frightened.

Leanne

the DNC deliberately worked against Bernie Sanders and made sure Hillary was the nominee.

Katie

I loved Bernie, and would have preferred him to Hillary. BUT. I personally thought Bernie’s position was too far left. In the past decades of presidential history, we’ve swung left…reversed right…swung back left..and so on and so on. This was the Republican’s election to lose. And a week ago I thought it was actually goig to happen! I thought Hillary was playing safe-game and could swing enough of the moderate republicans her way to win the vote. To win Florida (my state) To win North Carolina and Pennsylvania. In hindsight, well shit nothing about this election followed history. Maybe Trumps’s “disenfranchised base” would have found a viable candidate in Sanders- I didn’t see it, and I’m sorry for that. Reading through yesterday’s comments section, I really feel like women’s reproductive rights are still a fierce issue–for both parties. A lot of conservatives just can not get past the abortion issue. And I am losing sleep over that.

martha

I’d suggest you read some of the careful data analysis being done before asserting racism. Yes, the polls were wrong, but we can now look at the final data for a more quantitative analysis. As Nate Cohn of the Upshot pointed out, “Clinton suffered her biggest losses in the places where Obama was strongest among white voters. It’s not a simple racism story”.

Ignore the talking heads. They’re going to repeat the same tired analysis that got us here.

Erica

I don’t think anyone thinks Trump won just because 50% of the country is racist. But I think Trump clearly is racist and sexist, and it’s hard for a lot of people to accept that he wasn’t repudiated on those grounds alone. He may make individual exceptions for people he knows well and respects (Ivanka, for example; maybe Omarosa), but as a whole, I don’t think he believes that many “others” are fundamentally deserving of fair and equal treatment or respect. Not only his words but also his actions show otherwise. For example: http://www.vox.com/2016/7/25/12270880/donald-trump-racism-history
(and yes, I realize Vox is not the most neutral source, but the bullet-pointed lists are verifiable facts).

Beth

I don’t think 50% of the votes were racist. Instead, I feel that anyone who voted for Trump condones his terrible behavior that encompasses marginalizing others, discriminating, mocking, etc. Even more than condoning the terrible behavior, it welcomes it.

marta

Does that go both ways? Everyone voting for Clinton condones everything she has ever done?

EF

I think there is a difference in core character behavior and making mistakes in the course of our professional (or in Hillary’s public) life. Hillary is not perfect, but she did not make me feel like she needed parenting to explain bullying or immature or offensive language.

Julia

Great point.

Kelley

THIS. I don’t believe everyone who voted for trump is a racist, etc. in fact, I believe only a small fraction of his voters (note: “voters”, not “supporters”) agreed with the same type of hate-filled rhetoric trump spouted throughout his campaign (and before). I DO, however, believe that anyone who voted for him at the end of the day, condones his words and actions. They might not reflect your personal values in the slightest, but your vote says otherwise.

Carly

Thank you. It seems like every trump supporter on here is standing loyally to republican values. I have no problem with that. But they are missing the larger point. A vote for trump is a vote that actively validates and endorses white nationalism. Plain and simple. Vote republican, vote pro life, vote against healthcare, even if I disagree. But to vote for hate, or support it. I will never understand.

Marge

Key words
I DONT THINK
You didn’t say I know for certain he is a racist
Illegal immigrants are not a race!
I hope you never once in your life made a sexist comment or joke or even laughed at one. I hope you never in your life made a joke about or laughed at a joke about any other nationality including your own. I hope you never referred to someone by their color, like ” he can’t dance, he’s white” hahaha
If you have ever done any of these things you are racist and sexist!! When you get tired of your soapbox step down to the rest of the population that will admit that many times in their lives they have made mistakes or were taken out of context or realized later that they shouldn’t have said or done what they may have.

Take care to note that slamming a trump supporter is no different than a trump supporter slamming you. There is an entire country out there that many many many Americans have not experienced for themselves. Until you have walked in someone else’s shoes you do not know.
Let the one that has not sinned cast the first stone.
Good day

Erica

Marge, you seem to see things in very black and white terms. Yes, people can make off-handed remarks, but not mean any harm and immediately apologize for them. Or they can say and do incredibly racist things throughout their life, publicly state them throughout their political campaign, double down when asked about them, and never apologize. And it’s not the same thing. I can’t believe you can’t understand the difference. And so it makes sense that people who are marginalized by the new president’s words and actions fear what policies he may implement to their detriment. How the tenor of his presidency could affect their lives and the lives of their children in very real ways. It’s not really comparable to a normal presidential loss bc Trump didn’t run a normal presidential campaign, one built on respect for all Americans but differing world views on how best to help the country. He ran as a demagogue. That’s just different. You’re right, voting for someone doesn’t necessarily mean endorsing everything they have ever done or believing they have never made mistakes. We’re all human, and politicians’ every actions are scrutinized for better or for worse. But for me, when I look… Read more »

Justine

Very well said Erica

CT

Marge, don’t you think we should hold the people running for the most powerful position in the world to a higher standard? Sure some ignorant kid I went to high school with maybe said ugly things in a locker room, but I’m sure not going to vote for him as president. You’re so quick to say “everyone’s said something like that” and I’m sure every human being has done or said things they regret, but did Trump ever seem remorseful for the hateful words that became his hallmark on the campaign trail? No. He just yelled even louder. This was not a one time thing where he misspoke. This is our president-elect showing his true colors time after time.

Christa

Believe it or not, where I live people really do not make jokes that are racist, sexist or homophobic. If someone makes a comment that seems bigoted, one of the people listening will always point it out.

We also have the strongest economy in the world, 2 of the worlds greatest universities, the largest concentration of Nobel Prize winners. We celebrate gay marriages, march in solidarity with Black Lives Matter and recycle. It’s a beautiful way to live.

Emily

I’m so tired of hearing about racism and sexism and trumps terrible behavior as if trump is the only man or woman in the country to ever speak in such a way. I am bi-racial but look white. I am surrounded by racists who don’t know my color so feel free to speak their minds. I am atheist but support my friends who are Christian. They don’t know I’m atheist. They just assume I’m Christian. A few weeks ago many of us went out to dinner together. The first half of the dinner they discussed church activities, Christianity and their children. By the end of the night, they were cracking jokes about “Mexicans” and the woman were asking for protection from their husbands due to a Hispanic patron of the bar we were at. The men were rude and insulting and the women were cold and snobs. These educated, wealthy Christians couldn’t understand what he was saying. They said he was disgusting and creepy and needed to go back to his roofing job. I speak Spanish. He said they were beautiful and complimented them. I told him they were married and he said he just needed a friend and was… Read more »

so in other words, emily, you are used to bad behavior from people and trump is just showing more bad behavior and he doesn’t have the sense to hide it so yay, let’s support that.

Most people have higher expectations.

Bea

Wow Emily – I am truly shocked at your narrative maybe because I’m a naïve Brit (living in the cosmopolitan multicultural city that is London with a mixed race son). As well as being a liberal, I am Christian and don’t recognise any of the above behaviour by your Christian friends as following Jesus’ commandment that we should “Love your neighbour as yourself”! As indeed, I definitely don’t see it in Trump (which is why am baffled that he is now American’s new President especially when so many Americans are deeply religious).

As the Russian proverb says: A man is judged by his deeds, not by his words. Let’s hope that Trumps deeds don’t match his words.

Kristy

I think that your argument assumes that “racism” only means that someone has to think that all blacks or minorities are inferior. And by and large, I think that most of the Trump supporters truly don’t see themselves as racist because they have a black friend, or voted for Obama, etc. However, I think subconsciously (or consciously) many of those people see blacks, Muslims, Mexicans or other minorities as a whole as lesser people whose basic rights deserve less protection than their own. When they walk down the street and see someone with dark skin their immediate reaction is fear. Believing that a whole class of people are somehow inherently less trustworthy, capable or deserving of our compassion; or reluctantly accepting the despicable racist platform of Trump and some of his supporters because you believe it will be economically advantageous to you or somehow makes you safer IS racism, whether you want to acknowledge it or not.

martha

But EF, that’s pure tribalism, which is exactly my point. You’re arguing that *you* prefer to just live with Clinton’s flaws. Other people decided that *they* find it easier to just live with Trump’s flaws. That’s how elections work. Saying, “Well, I can take a nuanced approach, but anyone who votes for Trump necessarily condones everything he did” isn’t an argument. It’s a double standard.

K

Emily I was with you all the way until you mentioned vaccinations. Not vaccinating children is dangerous, against science and, well, did I mention dangerous?! It is pure selfishness, and is actually causing diseases that had almost died out to surge again. To me, engaging with the other side of the debate is like engaging with climate change deniers. They are wilfully ignoring scientific fact because it is expedient for them.

But yes, with you on being open minded about everything else 🙂

Gwen

There’s a difference between recognising that vaccination is good public health and “forced government vaccination”, which is what she mentioned. For example, not letting unvaccinated kids into public school isn’t forcing parents to vaccinate, its just saying parents who choose not to vaccinate also choose to remove their children from public school, which I think is good policy.

For the record, my job is creating programs to get vaccines to kids in in accessible areas (wars, disasters, etc) and working on polio eradication, so to say I’m pro-vaccination would be an understatement.

LA

There isn’t just public school. There are several places where kids come in contact with other (potentially unvaccinated) kids. I’m open to anyone’s beliefs and opinions on any subject and truly support personal freedom, but your freedom ends when you are risking someone else’s life or health.
So, unless you have valid health reasons not to be vaccinated, I believe you should be forced to get vaccinated. Yes, there are possible negative consequences (less than 1 in a million), but the health of the whole population of the Country has to come first.

I don’t live in the USA, but we are experiencing the same trend of kids getting ill because their parents thought they did not have to be vaccinated, or because they could not be vaccinated and some unvaccinated kid infected them. Sometimes they die. It is heartbreaking.

Erin

Agreed, K! Facts are facts. Climate change is real and vaccinations save lives, especially of those most vulnerable (with NO scientific evidence that they cause autism). As a fellow liberal, I LOVED this post and your decision to ask for the opinions of those who did not support Hillary. You have kept an open mind and heart and are hearing the other side, which is more than most people have done. Bravo.

Tracy

Seconded! I’ve read everything on this topic and if you’re not vaccinating, you’re not just harming your children, you are harming other people’s children, period. This topic is a great example of how liberals can be science-deniers – not just conservatives.

AK

Exactly, well said K!

Courtney

Love this post, my thoughts exactly!

Thank you Emily, because of your blog post yesterday and the hundreds of civil and thoughtful, yet passionate comments by your readers, I have been able to make some sense of and better understand the results of Tuesday’s election. As a matter of fact I got more from “listening” to your readers than from nearly any other source. As a country we have much work to do, yet nothing can be accomplished if we don’t listen to and try to understand the thoughts and ideas of others. Peaceful discourse, discussion, solution generation and compromise are a step in this direction. By allowing us to make our voices heard, you gave us a start. Again, Thank You.

Erica

I found yesterday’s post really helpful too. It was good to hear Trump supporters’ reasoning from their own words in a measured way.

Kayley

Clapping.

very nice..

jb

HI Emily, This is very well written. I can’t say enough how I appreciate a reasonable approach to liberalism being shared AS well as the space yesterday to safely share conservative points of view. It has helped me understand a little bit more. I can’t speak to all of the topics, but specifically on the part about people being innately selfish with our resources, I had a thought. I hear your heart and a share your heart in a lot of things you brought up about LOVING PEOPLE. I deeply care about people as well – I think that’s a shared view of both parties as a whole (I can’t speak on the people who don’t give a rip about their fellow man. That’s not a political alignment, that’s just a bad attitude and mindset.), but we approach it differently. I personally don’t want the government handling all the resources and handing them out as they see fit. I want to collect my own resources and give them out as I see fit. I think about your Sylvia. The gift you gave her was AMAZING. Target didn’t take your cash and then go in with an unknown crew to redecorate… Read more »

Alexandra

JB: This is a wonderful, refreshing perspective to bring to this discussion as a Conservative and human being. I wish I could be so confident in the greater good. I hope those you impact in your community pay the kindness forward. I’m still struggling to answer the questions I’ve been asking myself since Wednesday: ‘How can I be open-minded to a man that is such a blatant misrepresentation of the person I am AND the person I strive to be? How do I confidently represent myself and my country when I have no respect for the man at the helm?’ As a Hillary supporter, I wrote her campaign a note Wednesday morning. I wish the outcome had been different. I wish I had done more. I received a response today. Did everyone else receive the same response to their e-mail? Probably. The response encouraged her supporters to get involved at the lower level- local government, development initiatives, etc. I am SO lucky to work for a company that celebrates diversity, equality, community. I am involved in our Women’s Leadership Initiative and after today’s e-mail I intend to find other programs to participate in. Is it enough? No. I wish it… Read more »

Bella

It is very easy to see where the little bit of your paycheck goes. It’s actually what you DON’T see. Being poor in America is nothing like being poor in the rest of the world. Because of social programs that we all pay for, we don’t see children starving and barefoot on the street. We don’t see masses of people living in houses made from scraps. We don’t see millions of people dying from preventable diseases. Any day I would give a little bit of my pay check to reduce the poverty and illness of fellow Americans and humans.

I spent the day crying over Skype with my sister yesterday because we failed as humans. Trump with Nukes?!? Great job, America. But then I work up today and read your posts and realized, I am that same person today. You are the same person today. Our family is that very same family. Our core values are still our values. We can still fight for the weak, the marginalized, the ones without a voice. We can still do what we know is right. We can find the people that are doing good work and support them. It will be harder but we can still make a difference.

Jill M.

I didn’t really want to vote for either (although the thought of someone as inept as Trump being elected made me feel sick). I have voted for Republicans and Democrats in the past, but lean Democratic. I spent the days leading up to the election reading as much as I could about their prospective policies, and I came to the conclusion that I aligned more with Hilary. Hilary is not blameless, but the more I dug, the more I was convinced that jumping aboard the “Hilary the Liar” train was misguided. Most of the accusations surrounding her are based more on conspiracy theory and exaggeration than fact. I also found so much of the support for Trump to shallow. 1. I don’t believe he is doing this because he just wants to make America better. Come on! He loves the spotlight and the power! 2. Political outsider? Not politically correct? Whatever he was before the election has changed now. The perfect example was his acceptance speech- so PC and nice! 3. Using misguided fear as a tool. I live in Germany and whenever I visit home people ask me if I feel safe, because of all the terrorism attacks and… Read more »

Kannfish

The smoke and mirrors – I agree much with your comment. I do not think when Trump decided to run that he thought he would actually win. And as he gained momentum, I found it hard to hear any sincerity in his politics. I didn’t believe his words at all; he didn’t believe his words. After he won the the nomination, I saw a lot of media’s guilt. I saw the media realize what they did – they gave him such a stage, they created this. I have a 4 and 1 year old. I didn’t do a good job hiding Trump from my 4 year old and he had a lot of questions about the election why he was so “grumpy”. (He calls him Donald Frump, which I never correct) One day when he came home from preschool, he said “If you play too rough, you’re called pussy”. I know, horrific sentence. This was soon after the Access Hollywood bus tape came out. Now, I questioned him more and it turns out my son meant “pushy”, but that’s when it hit me. I had to consider the fact he heard that word from that man on the news. This… Read more »

jody

I voted for Hillary because her policies make sense to me and she had a PLAN. She is smart. I have met her and her one on one interaction are warmth, thoughtful. She is a really good listener. I think that is lost when she talks to big crowds (i think thats why she chose to have a more intimate concession speech so America could see the more intimate Hillary. She wanted to show us how hurt she was and encourage us to continue on). Lots of people don’t like her for this caricature that has been created of her. As a person, she is deeply caring, passionate, smart and she has a plan. She is a doer and a listener, not a talker. I can get behind that 100%.

Heather-Nicole

I am liberal and I voted for Clinton and I love what you’ve said in your post but I can’t help but think that it should be our jobs as Americans to be open-minded, not just as liberals. It’s only when we are all thinking in this way that we can truly move forward as a nation working toward positive change for everyone.

Nina

Agreed!

fay

Agreed! It’s not just on liberals to try to be more understanding and empathetic. It’s on ALL of us.

Ali

I agree and I found that wording to be a good representation of the “holier than thou” attitude that a lot of americans/republicans sense from the left. (Of course Emily didn’t mean it this way but it’s a good point to learn from.)

I previously identified as a democrate. I voted Obama two elections in a row but this year, I just couldn’t stay true to party. Partially because I don’t trust Clinton (not that I trust trump) but partially because im sick of the left calling anyone who doesn’t agree with them undereducated/racist/sexist/privalaged/unsymathetic/bigots.

We All need to work to unify and understand each other. Ideally without labeling and belittling each other in the process.

These kinds of open dialogs are a great start!!! She’s right, we can do this!!!!

Christa

OK, I agree that no one likes to be talked down to. But don’t you see that you have just elected Trump who has repeatedly stood in front of crowds and said things that are:

racist/sexist/privileged/unsympathetic/bigoted

and y’all voted for him, so I can only conclude that you agree with what he had to say.

raphaelle

Hi Emily,

Although I am assuming it’s just a saying, I find the sentence “Let’s prevent the crime, not blame the criminal” written in relation to abortion incredibly shoking. Abortion is not a crime – at least, not in the US or in most European countries, where it’s a right. Women who get abortions are not criminals. Maybe there is a more relevant metaphore out there that will convey your idea better than this ill-fitted one?

Mary

I agree.

I think Emily used those terms because that is how Trump talks about abortion. He thinks it should be a crime and the woman should be punished.

Charlotte

You are not for equality for all…you forgot the most helpless, vulnerable and dependent off all… babies still dependent in their mother’s womb. Nothing justifies killing them, no need on our part is more important than a baby’s, beautiful life. Their tiny little heart begins beating at just 18 days of conception. The fight for the right to take a babies life is the opposite of love.

Your argument that there is not adequate contraception/prevention available implies woman have no self control or responsibility for themselves. We do. We have the right to abstain or use birth control. Birth control is free or has a very minimal cost.

The pro-choice believe that a baby is “disposable”, “a choice” is heart breaking. Babies are the greatest gift in the world… at least to many of us.

The loving, responsible, strong woman puts the needs of her child before her needs/wants. She is willing to carry her unplanned child to term and give that child a chance for an amazing, beautiful life with loving adoptive parents.

Leslie

Thank you for saying this, Charlotte!! I couldn’t agree more!

Emma

Abortion is a huge, important, thorny issue. It is not the only issue. I’d like to respectfully challenge you to explain why the rights of an unborn baby – a baby who may not live to term, a baby whose parents may not be able to care for it, a baby possibly conceived through rape – are more important than the rights of millions of people who have been attacked and maligned by Trump’s racism and misogyny. I’m not trying to be argumentative – I just genuinely don’t understand this viewpoint.

Also – in the spirit of bursting our political bubbles and hearing from different viewpoints – I’d challenge you to watch this video that explains the economic theory that the national crime rate dropped dramatically after abortion was legalized.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zk6gOeggViw

Brittany

Yes Emma!!!! Agree

Frustrated

It’s so unfair that women take all the responsibility here. What about the man? Did you mention men at all? What about rape? What about pregnancies that endanger the life of the mother?

Amie

But the argument most-pro-choice people are saying that most women want to carry their baby to term. It’s when the baby absolutely will not survive outside of the womb, or mom will perish carrying a dead infant to term because the baby didn’t survive inside the womb, those are the cases that we are pushing for understanding on. Those are the heart-breaking circumstances that no one wants the government to tell you that you have to force your child to die painfully outside of the womb, instead of comfortably on the inside. Or that mom has to die to birth or carry an already dead baby.

Should abortions not be allowed in those cases? To say no to all abortions is to say no to these cases.

Maria Anne

exactly. exactly. exactly.

Michele

1) I heard a statistic promoted by Planned Parenthood that 1 in 3 women will receive an abortion. I’ve also heard Planned Parenthood claim they want abortions to be rare. 1 in 3 women is not rare. And there is absolutely no way 1 in 3 women or even 1 in 3 pregnant women are in a crisis pregnancy. Rape pregnancies, ill babies, or a pregnancy threatening to the life of the mother are extremely extremely rare. These are not the reasons women are getting abortions. Even EHD states that NO ONE wants an abortion, but that is the opposite of the movement I’ve seen in the last year, particularly after the sting CMP videos of Planned Parenthood came out. With hashtags like #shoutyourabortion and various truthful and direct articles put out by pro-choice women of the left: they believe simply that not all life is equal (which seems to me a direct contradiction of liberal values). Not all life is equal, and the life of the mother (her hopes, dreams, happiness) simply trump the life of the baby inside her. That’s the truth and there should be no stigma to say so. 2) Abortions are not used to save… Read more »

Karin

Michele,
That 1 in 3 number was from a study done in 1994. The current numbers appears to be about 17 out of 1,000 women will have an abortion in 2016. Check the Politifact site here: http://www.politifact.com/texas/statements/2016/jan/19/wendy-davis/flawed-wendy-davis-claim-1-3-women-has-had-abortio/.
Like Emily said, no one wants to have an abortion and if we had easier access to birth control and better education we wouldn’t have nearly as many unintended/unwanted pregnancies. I don’t believe women have abortions because they want to, or because they made bad choices, or were too lazy to get birth control. I know for a fact that whatever the circumstances, it is a gut wrenching decision not made lightly, because I had one.

Debra

My daughter would have died if she had had a C section, she nearly died anyway. She has a husband and 2 children who need her, not to mention the rest of us who love and need her. Please don’t imagine you know what she went through.

Jen

Charlotte – can you expand your commentary to include pregnancy as a result of rape or incest? I’m interested to hear how a pregnancy like that factors into your statement re: women having self control and responsibility for themselves, as well as being willing to carry the unplanned child to term. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

stephieZ

Mistakes happen Charlotte. Also rapes happen, and plenty of other things. I find it interesting that most (but not all republicans) want to cut down on social services and all the other things that help women who have chosen to have the baby, but they still want those women to have the child.

So which one is it?

Kory

I did not vote for Trump or Hillary, but I am pro-life. I understand the emotional stress of such a decision and I do not take it lightly, but the essence of the pro-life argument is that “if it is a child then there is no justification is adequate for killing it. If it’s not, then no justification is necessary.” I do believe it’s a child. From the earliest stages, the fetus has its own DNA that is distinct from the mother, so it’s not the mother’s body. If it’s not the mother’s body, what is it? A parasite? If it has human DNA, then it’s a human. Think about it this way. Apply any rationale for abortion to a baby who has already born. The baby is a product of rape. Should we terminate it because of that? The child has a disability. Should we terminate it because of that? The parents aren’t ready to have children. Should we terminate the baby because of that? Of course there are other arguments like life of the mother (which is a little different since if the mother dies, so does the child if it’s not viable.) But would a mother give… Read more »

YES! Where are the programs to support a mother through her unwanted pregnancy? Prenatal care/checkups? Post-natal care if the baby has trouble breast-feeding or the mother suffers from post-partum depression? Childcare? School supplies? Food? Clothes? College funding? The contradiction is maddening!

Sharon

Please don’t lump all pro-lifers together. Our local pregnancy center offers free ultrasound, one free Dr. visit, prenatal concelling, and adoption referrals. If the Mom decides to keep the baby we provide diapers, clothes, blankets, etc. on a point system earned by attending parenting classes, volunteering at the center, etc. Handing out government money does not promote effective parenting, lending a hand goes a long way.

Monica

really great point.

Justine

“Birth control is free or is a minimal cost”…because of the Affordable Care Act. Which Trump and other pro-life republicans want to get rid of, as well as Planned Parenthood which also offers free/low cost birth control. Also, it’s quite unfair if you to say that “loving, strong, responsible” woman put the baby before themself – so, if a woman’s health is in jeopardy due to pregnancy, she is none of those things if she makes the hard decision for abortion — TO SAVE HER LIFE — or, she should go forward because she is “loving, responsible and strong” and possible DIE? This is so offensive.

Thank you, Charlotte! I’m a liberal on every issue except this one. I’m totally with you on this topic. I cannot bring myself to vote Republican because I don’t agree with any of their other stances, but I feel guilt over this issue because I am pro-life. I agreed with Emily’s description of a liberal and the whole “greater good” or equality over freedom thing, but I was just waiting for this topic to come up in her post. The thing about the conservative view on this topic that I have an issue with that you say women shouldn’t have abortions (I agree), but then you don’t want to pay higher taxes to provide the social safety nets to support the women who were not prepared to care for a baby. It doesn’t make any sense.
I feel like no party aligns with my beliefs.
Oh, and the main reason I cannot vote Republican is that I have not yet seen one Republican politician or policy that is pro-environment. This is one of the BIGGEST issues we face, and it is being ignored.

Christa

I don’t think a baby is disposable or merely a choice. But the idea that I would pick a president to run the most powerful country on earth based solely on this one issue is insane. Get involved with supporting pregnant women if those are your beliefs, but leave the running of the entire country to people with real qualifications to deal with issues of trade, finance and infrastructure.

I voted for HIllary because I believed that she would make our country a better place. I had so much hope for the next four years…its hard to imagine how it will be now.
She is smart and thoughtful and I couldn’t have been more excited about a candidate. I wanted her to win the nomination when she ran against Obama, and that didn’t happen. I admired her when she was First Lady and thought she would make a great president back then.
I had no idea I would be overcome with a sadness so big and heavy the day after the election. By the way, being a blogger, I did not join in the fray of personal opinion. I quietly waited my turn to use my voice and my vote….but I guess others quietly waited as well. Hoping for the best, but not having any expectations of what is to come.

sherrie S

Your 2nd paragraph says it all. If you believe that – and the Democrats have been basically in the majority for the last couple dozen years to do just that – and FAILED – then why not try something new? I just moved out of Nebraska – the heartland – and I believe the entire middle of country believes as you do – but our government has failed us for so long – that people were desperate to mix things up. Remember, we’ve been kicking out incumbents in Congress for over 12 years now in the hopes of better legislation – and that didn’t work, so people felt they better go straight to the top.

Stacy

The claim of “change” just rings so false when Congress is still run by Republicans. If you really wanted change, why did you vote in the EXACT same Congress that has gotten zero done in the last 8 years? The president doesn’t govern alone and obstructionism in Congress was a fundamental problem during the Obama administration.

Katie

This times 1000. The Republicans have the stage now…so interesting to see what “the Washington outsider” will bring in as his anti-establishment cabinet? We heard “drain the swamp” so many times during this election, I know libs will certainly be watching to make sure it’s not just filled back up again with the swamp water from the other side. And I hope his supporters will be watching just as closely for him to make good on that promise, b/c from what we heard, overturning the Washington machine is why they voted for him.

Marsha

This is so so good! My feelings too.

Phyllis

When Obama won his first election I was very upset but I certainly did not riot in the street or act out as we are seeing now. Let’s remember that we have a Congress and checks and balances that keep control of what the President can and cannot do. That is why Mr. Obama used executive order to accomplish his ideas. We need to get this country back on track and make it great again. Let’s give Mr. Trump the same support we gave Mr. Obama and work together to bring our nation back.

EF

People are in the streets because they believe Trump and Rs are going to remove their rights. They believe this because Trump and the Rs have made this a cornerstone of their platform. If Obama had said his goal was to fill the Supreme Court with justices that would repeal the 2nd amendment then you can be sure there would be demonstrations.

If people want to demonstrate I am all for it, whoever you are.

The majority of the voters voted for Hillary and if people want to fill the streets to remind Trump of that and to show him who he will remove rights from, so be it. It’s frustrating to hear the word “mandate” and “wave” when Trump didn’t even win the popular vote and didn’t even get as many votes as Romney or McCain.

StephieZ

I’m not really sure Obama got all that much support. Not sure where you have been living for the past 8 years.

What you call riots, I call protests. Do a tiny minority of those people get out of control yes, but that happens in every large mass gathering. For instance when the Giants won the World Series: http://www.sfgate.com/crime/article/S-F-picks-up-the-pieces-after-raucous-Giants-5858132.php

Also executive order counts for you:
George H. W. Bush 166
Bill Clinton 364
George W. Bush 291
Barack Obama 235
Ronald Reagan 381
Jimmy Carter 320

Katie

Thank you Emily. I have read your blog for years and always felt a connection to your writing. I love the way you present your point of view. Always with respect, and bravery. We have so much to learn from each other. I hope you will continue to use this platform to engage your readers on issues that resonate with you so strongly. Whether the subject is design, parenting, or even something as controversial as politics…. I sincerely look forward to continuing to hear what you have to say.

So well said Emily, I’m glad you are finding peace with this situation, I am trying. Oh God, am I trying, but I can’t stop crying. I’m not even someone who cries often, I am just so devastated. Hate won yesterday. His campaign was built on hate and he won. I voted for Hillary because I aligned with her on social issues (marriage equality, women’s rights, etc) and because I know she is a good person who cares about America and doing what is right. I was so looking forward to having a progressive female president that my daughter could look up to, instead we are left with a vile, offensive, narcissist that ran a campaign that was blatantly designed to appeal to white-nationalists. Every day I will be working towards feeling more optimistic, but for now, I’m devastated.

jb

I’ve commented too much on this blog already today and I need to quit. But, please, PLEASE don’t believe that Trump voters voted because we’re HATEFUL. That’s not the case. So much was said on the post yesterday – i implore you to read it all. I have thick skin, but I have continually heard, “trump supporters are racist and hateful” and it’s wearing me down. We aren’t… we just AREN’T. There are so many factors that played into my choice and not one. single. one. of them had to do with hating or being afraid of or wanting harm to come to ANY any human being in this country.

I don’t believe I said that “all Trump supporters are racist and hateful,” and I don’t believe that they are. I did read yesterdays post; I wasn’t in a position to comment yesterday because I was literally sick. Sick to my stomach. My kids are scared, their friends who are mostly immigrants and muslim are scared because they don’t feel they are welcome here anymore. So people can say “I was worried about the Supreme Court,” or “Washington is broken,” or whatever other reason you had for voting for Trump and that’s fine. We live in a democracy, and I am grateful for that. But, the president-elect scares my children, and for that reason I am devastated.

jb

It’s a relief to hear you don’t believe that all Trump supporters are racist and hateful. Thank you for your clarification.

Carly

My sons preschool 3-4 year olds had a hard time Wednesday. I think a lot of young kids got more exposure to the election then normal because many mothers wanted to vote with their children in what was hoped to be an historic moment/first female president. My three year old Was visibly sad and then said “it’s ok mommy next time we will just get more people to vote for Hillary.” His attitude of hope and focus on the future even though he doesn’t really aware of what he was saying saved my husband and I. We also wrote a letter to Trump asking him to be kind and “very please may you be nice to people” and sent it to the White House.

Tracy

JB, I think many liberals believe voting for an openly racist and homophobic platform is itself an act of violence, and anathema with a claim of wanting togetherness, or claiming to not be hateful.

jb

My vote was not an act of violence.

Justine

She didn’t say that all the supporters have hate; she said his campaign was built on hate, and it was, it’s a fact. The words out of his mouth factually prove this. Not all his supporters have hate like he does, but they chose to vote for him despite it.

Tracy

JB, I don’t think you intended your vote to be inherently an act of violence – but I hope you can understand this sentiment. If Trump had said, “When JB’s family sends its people, they’re not sending their best. They’re not sending you. They’re not sending you. They’re sending people that have lots of problems, and they’re bringing those problems with them. They’re bringing drugs. They’re bringing crime. They’re rapists. And some, I assume, are good people,” you might feel differently.

Ultimately, Trump ran a campaign full of hateful and scapegoating rhetoric. Therefore, many folks see a vote for him as immoral (e.g. better to vote for no one than to vote for someone who demonizes your fellow Americans). You may not agree, but I don’t think it’s hard to understand (and I don’t think some introspection from the left as to why the most hate-based campaign in modern memory had such wide appeal is a bad thing, either).

Lisa

Tracy, thank you for saying this. Because when Trump said those words, I heard: “When Lisa’s family sends its people, they’re not sending their best. They’re not sending you.” So, I’m going to say this as a Mexican-American and as a child of immigrants- please understand that the pain that I and many other people of color are experiencing is real. Although I consider myself an American first, have a high degree of education, and contribute to American society, Trump made me feel like a second class citizen. I am working hard to get over my fear, to sooth my pain, and to see hope. I know that not all Trump supporters are racists, but, on election day, I learned that they were willing to tolerate racism. I’m not saying that they endorsed racism. But I am saying that they were willing to vote in spite of Trump’s words. That is painful to me. To those who will be quick to point out that illegal immigrants are not a race and, therefore, Trump was not being racist- please remember that in his speech he did not refer to illegal immigrants once. His words were about Mexicans. Here is a link… Read more »

Susie

So well said! I am an independent (formerly a republican), but am proud to call myself a liberal. Like your international readers, I am shocked that guns are so important, even though I grew up on a ranch and was trained to use them. Very few people truly NEED a gun. However, everyone NEEDS healthcare (and birth control choices) and food and shelter. In many ways it is a fundamental misunderstanding between our very divided country. I am also dismayed that so many people dismiss science, whether it is vaccines or climate change. I was proud to vote for Hillary, but honestly worried that she would spend most of her time in office defending herself against the onslaught of hearings and accusations that nothing would get done. It will be interesting to see if Trump can truly help the forgotten, or whether it will be more tax breaks for the rich.

Christa

Helping the “forgotten” people is not even on Trump’s radar. He got what he wanted out of those voters, and now they can wait for the payoff just like those carpenters, roofers and plumbers have been waiting to be paid after building Trump properties.

Loribeth

Thank you for both of these posts Emily. As a long time reader of the blog, it makes my heart really happy to read kind and empathetic comments from all types of voters. That’s the kind of America I am proud to be a part of.

L

I’m a classical liberal. This means I believe in letting people be free. For all this noble talk about equality and fairness, in the end, socialism just empowers and enriches a few people at the expense of the majority. How do people like the Clintons and like Eric Cantor (for a “r” example) get so rich when government is pretty much the only jobs they’ve every had? The sell power and influence to other rich people. Also, did you notice that we’re $20 trillion in debt? That doesn’t include unfunded liablities (mostly public pensions – which is well, well above the $20 t figure) we can’t pay that off. It’s going to ruin us! Our poor kids! I’m so worried for them! Do I like Donald Trump as a leader? NO! How you feel right now – this is how I felt when he became my party’s nominee. But I don’t want the democrats to continue the policies and trends of the Obama administration. I want government supporting free enterprise, not confiscating my hard earned money to ‘redistribute’ it. I don’t want government to take over my healthcare dollars and decisions. I don’t want government to tell me what to… Read more »

I keep seeing people talk about how Trump will be overseen or controlled by others and hopefully that’s true, but the one place that is definitely not true is Nuclear War. I’ve seen a lot of Trump supporters say that congress has to approve war, but that’s not true when it comes to nuclear. We have a nuclear deterrent system if the US is ever attacked with nuclear the president has the authority on his own to retaliate. He has the ability to do that within 12 minutes at all times without the need for an attack to actually have taken place. No one can stop him and there is no oversight. Trump has repeatedly shown no understand of our nuclear policy.

nikki

This is exactly how I feel.

Tracy

I have to roll my eyes at a fear of offending some over-sensitive person (and the constant conservative talk about the ‘PC Police’ ruining our freedoms). This seems like the tiniest problem imaginable in a world where black people are being shot by actual police, where most women I know have experienced sexual harassment and assault. That you might offend someone and have to engage in a respectful dialog? The horror! I’ll never forget being at a work function and my boss, the head of my whole department, saying at a work event when we were looking at pictures of a coworker’s new baby girl, that he was so happy he only had sons. Why? someone in our group of 3 women and 2 men said. Because, he said, my male friends with daughters have said that they can’t look at porn the same way after they have a daughter, because they see the women as people! All our jaws dropped, and I said, So, what are we if not people? And he says, “ooooh, sorry, didn’t know the PC police were here!” I think many of us who have been accused of being “PC” have had the same experience… Read more »

L

Roll your eyes all you wish, but I know people at work are afraid of saying something and ending up in HR with their job in jeopardy.

Monica

hey – you say you’re a liberal but are describing conservative fiscal policy. sounds like you’re a conservative?

Melissa

I couldn’t have said it better than Mika did in her comments or Emily did in this post. Here are some other things I’m puzzling-out after the shock of this election: (FYI – I’m an Independent & had Dems, Republicans, & Green Party candidates on my ballot this year) I can understand Americans, especially the ones who feel “left behind”, wanting change in government, wanting an “outsider”…but here’s the thing…IMHO Donald Trump has always been a power-hungry elitist, not an “ordinary American middle-class citizen” so HOW do folks think he can relate to “our” struggles? Has Trump ever had to look at two large bills coming due and try to decide which one to pay or whether to ask for help from family/friends to pay for both? I doubt it! I am wondering if Hillary’s defeat was less about “her” and more about Obama. Whether we want to believe it or not, there is still a white supremacy faction in the US. I wonder how much of this came into play…folks still angry that our nation elected an African-American President would easily be caught up in someone like Trump. Even if white supremacy wasn’t behind this HRC defeat, there are… Read more »

Katie

Emily. What an elightening forum that, for the most part, sought to bring healing and understanding and kindness to a process that has dehumanized so many of us. I, too, learned much from those brave enough to share their hearts, their fears and their hopes. If I may be so bold as to add this to the discussion. Now is the time to move forward, choose hope, and put down our fighting hands and words. Lets not be people who hide behind our computer screens and blast off arrogant and self righteous comments about why our way of thinking is clearly more open minded and inclusive all the while seething inside. That truly isn’t open mindedness. Let’s be about the work of kindness, compasion, generousity and understanding. We don’t need a particular political party in office to have a groundswell of good works, kind words, and radical generousity. Let’s ask ourselves the hard questions of “if these are the core values we feel so passionately about, how can we effect change in these areas on a day to day basis?” Let’s be the change we seek to see in the world. Truly. Let’s lead with love. Let’s find people who… Read more »

Lisa

I love this. Thank you.

Erin

Emily, I’ve gained a tremendous amount of respect for you. You’ve articulated basically everything that I believe in, in such a way that is respectful, and I couldn’t have put it into better words! This is what we needed MONTHS ago. and media played such a big bad portion of this election spinning out of control.

Heads up, shoulders back, stand united, and let’s start rebuilding this nation to what we are truly meant to be.

Chris

Thank you for both this article and the previous one. Yesterday it felt like someone had kicked me in the chest. The rational, historical, and politically involved person in me understood that this is how democracy worked. I understood that when the country is going through rapid social change it becomes a bitter, angry, divided version of itself. However, sitting in bed in the middle of the night as the call was made I was no longer that rational adult. I became the 6th grader who stood there as a classmate yelled at her; saying women were not smart enough to ever be president. The younger version of me needed a break from politics yesterday so I went to your blog in place of the political one I read every day over lunch. Another political discussion was obviously not what I was looking for, but thank you and everyone who commented. Seeing (for the most part) the rational and kind discussion helped ease some of that feeling in my chest. It reminded me that we are all in this together. Sometime you win and sometimes you don’t, but we all have an obligation to step up and do the best… Read more »

Emma

I usually lurk and read your blog for the fun stuff but this one moved me to comment: Thank you so much for being so brave and willing to be open to have this conversation. Yesterday I felt like I was in mourning and could not have had this conversation civilly or rationally with any Trump supporters. I admire you for not only doing this publicly on your blog, but also helping to bridge the gap between the two sides and helping us (or me, at least) to find a way forward. You are a great human being!

Beth

I voted for Hillary because of her experience, rigor and dedication. She believes in keeping families together regardless of ethnicity, equality, not living in fear of those who are different, women’s rights as human rights and more. I sought no personal gain from the election. I am privileged. I knew Hillary would be a voice for those that have been silenced.

I voted for Hillary because we have guided our children with the golden rule, told them not to bully and taught them acceptance. Hillary encompasses these notions.
With all this being said, I think Hillary will continue to do greater things than being the president. She will not be obstructed or ridiculed as much by half of the voting population because she won’t be a public servant.

Having a daughter myself, I have rectified Trump’s treatment of women, in my mind, by placing no value in his words. His words don’t matter; they do not exist. He is not like the men who are around my daughter. There are many others who will show my daughter her true worth. Solidarity, friend.

Aimee

Could you please not refer to abortion as a crime, even casually in passing? This is an incredibly dangerous rhetoric to throw around considering the fragility of a woman’s right to choose nowadays. Also, technically half of America didn’t want trump, it’s more like 18%. (59 million voters out of 318 million population) Out of all the registered voters in the US, 47% did not even vote. It’s so important to get people to the polls during elections, especially midterm elections in which our senators and representatives are elected. I personally am going to call my local dem office to see what I can do to help get voters to the polls in 2018. I’m also going to be writing to my representatives in DC to abolish the electoral college–this is the second election that the more liberal candidate won the election but lost the electoral college and thus the presidency. Trump is not the candidate that the public actually wants, so how the hell is he getting in the White House? I really urge anyone upset about the election (I cried until 4:30am Wednesday, got three hours sleep, and cried all day) to get involved. Look up your local… Read more »

Gail

I wrote this earlier, but I disagree so much with your comment. Our forefathers knew our country would grow and that large cities and more populated states could decide the election. Come on, look at the electoral map…..it is all red!!! Without the people of New York and California, Trump would have received most of the votes. A politician would never go to Idaho. A politician would never listen to farmers. They would spend all of their time in the most populous states. How much time did both candidates in this election spend in Nevada, New Hampshire, Iowa, and North Carolina even thought they are not large states…..a lot! Get over it.

Gail

I wrote thought instead of though…..sorry.

Not only did I vote for Clinton but believe she was the best candidate we have ever seen. That the American people have wasted this opportunity is a tragic shame in itself to say nothing of the candidate they did elect. If we look at just one vital characteristic….intelligence (and I think that’s a pretty darn vital one)…..well, there is no contest we can all agree, right? And so much is a result from that one vital characteristic….ability to reason, to see the larger picture, to make decisions… that alone should have helped people to make their decision. Maybe our education system is not doing a very good job of teaching how to think and reason and so we have ended up with a candidate who is….. well the list is long but the word intelligent does not come to mind.

L

The promises of a utopia of economic equity are the same promises that Hugo Chavez made to the Venezuelan people.

.

sherrie s

http://www.ew.com/article/2016/11/09/michael-moore-trumpland

Emily – I urge you to read the post above – Michael Moore’s doc on the election done last year. Maybe this will help further your understanding – as a “coaster” – it can give you a ‘middle of america” understanding. The media, upper middle class, millionaires, working suburbanites, big city dwellers – missed this entire issue for 18 months.

Kristen

Michael Moore? Exactly what you want to get out of a blue bubble!

abby

Yes I could support a Republican candidate who was intelligent, experienced, self-reflective, and moral (McCain, Romney, Reagan come to mind). I would be upset but not livid. Even if their plan was well thought out but different from my own beliefs. I understand there are many ways to solve a problem and I would be willing to support such a candidate. HOWEVER, I just cannot wrap my head around the fact that many voted for a men to be president with so little experience, integrity, and moral judgement. It truly is baffling to me. I understand that people wanted an outsider. I voted for Obama who had only a few years of governmental experience. However, Obama demonstrated an ability to learn, seek advice, surround himself with intelligent people, self critique, as well as an interest to grow. Trump literally has NONE of those qualities. Furthermore, not at all Trump voters are sexist and racist. But by voting for him you become a bystander. How can we move forward and progress to become a more open and accepting country when our own people allow our president to speak and engage in such a way. Finally I voted for Hillary because I… Read more »

Maria Anne

“Furthermore, not at all Trump voters are sexist and racist. But by voting for him you become a bystander. How can we move forward and progress to become a more open and accepting country when our own people allow our president to speak and engage in such a way.”

you said it perfectly.

Carly

This is perfect. My exact thoughts and communicated so thoughtfully.

abby

Completely agree. Thank you!

Kristina

My heart voted for Hillary because she is a woman. I voted with my 95 year old Grandmother…the 19th was ratified the year before she was born. Can you imagine? Women did not even have the vote! My sense of equality voted for Hillary because I knew she would protect Roe v. Wade and appoint a Supreme Court justice that would ensure a balanced Court. My pocketbook voted for Hillary because of Obamacare. My daughter has a pre-existing condition (a common one–Asthma) and her health care premiums were INSANE. My husband & I went without coverage in order to pay her premiums. With Obamacare we all have quality insurance for 3 times LESS. But ultimately, my soul could never vote for Trump. The man is vile.

EF

Thank you Emily. That was so well written and conveyed for those of us who voted for Hillary and found yesterday a very sad day. You’ve hit all the points on my list regarding Trump. I found myself so often observing his behavior and recognizing it as immature behavior that I worked hard to correct in my kids when they were in middle school. It so sad thinking that behavior I wouldn’t accept in my 11 year old kid was being accepted and even encouraged by adults in someone aspiring to be in the highest office. My mind just can’t process that still. As luck would have it, HILLBILLY ELEGY, became available for me at the Library yesterday and I’m diving in. As someone who did phone bank, canvass, register people to vote in a swing state, I can say it was really rewarding and I encountered people that inspired me. I met 3 couples during a voter registration drive who were from other countries. They were thanking ME for doing what I was doing which almost made me cry. The eyes of the world are truly on us. I encourage everyone to get involved…it pushed me out of my… Read more »

Julia

Emily, I really enjoyed reading your perspective. I’m a republican but feel the party has become ideologically ridiculous. Some things aren’t going away, and republicans must accept that (like Trump now, ha!).

I do wish liberals thought as you did, that the job of a liberal is to be open minded. I find liberals to be some of the most close minded people I know (I live in a blue city) – the prevailing idea is “My open mindedness is the only right way and you may not speak now close minded pig.”

And yes, I value freedom over equality (social equality NOT racial, gender, etc.) but am first to say we need welfare, we need aid programs, we need healthcare reform. How we get there is always the tough part. I’ve appreciated reading all your thoughts and the comments of so many willing to share… and now I want to read about your kitchen plans, too.

Laura

Hi Julia, I consider myself liberal (Massachusetts born and raised) and this has been a very eye-opening comments section. I am curious what you mean when you say “(social equality NOT racial, gender, etc.)”? What defines social equality to you?

StephieZ

Funny, I’m a liberal and I feel that most conservatives are that way. I wish all people could be open and listen to all sides.

Monica

Puzzling to me. Emily’s rhetoric is what I am familiar with in my pretty liberal circle. How is your experience of Liberals different (genuine question!)

Erin

Thank you. I needed this. I’m so confused and worried. My six year old came home from school yesterday upset because his friend told him Trump was going to build a wall around our state. I’m struggling as an American, but I’m really struggling as a parent. We also live in a liberal bubble, so hearing the other side of the argument is helping me process. Thanks for starting a healing discussion and the pep talk.

Emma

Thanks for this, Emily. I’m Canadian, but I still feel like I’ve been punched in the gut. The comments on your post yesterday were incredibly enlightening and – for me – deeply troubling. I guess I just feel shocked that so many people are able to overlook the racism, sexism, and xenophobia that dominated Trump’s campaign. I’m also shocked that abortion is still such a huge issue for so many. In Canada, abortion was a non-issue during last year’s election campaign (which, by the way, saw our conservative, right-wing prime minister kicked out of office by a left-wing candidate who has been hugely popular).

I also don’t think I understood how deeply (and, in my opinion, unfairly) hated Hillary. I always find it strange that the more time someone spends in politics, getting actual EXPERIENCE, the more disqualified they’re painted to be. That, my American friends, makes no sense to me. Despite the eloquent comments yesterday, I still don’t understand.

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