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Emily Henderson

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by Emily Henderson

After reading all 1100 comments tonight (from yesterdays post) I was compelled to answer the question I had been asked politely a lot along the way: Why did you vote for Hillary Clinton?

So here goes.

I consider myself a liberal because I strive to care about all people, equally, and I believe that left to our own devices, we are innately all selfish and will put our needs, our wants, our dollars in front of the greater good. It’s not that I don’t think that conservatives care about people, I know they do, my parents care more about people than anyone I know, but like another commenter said liberals value equality over freedom and conservatives value freedom over equality. Both are good, its just a matter of what you want to place in front of the other.

I believe that the governments role in society is to help create programs that will let us thrive and progress as individuals and communities – regardless of your racial, socio-economic and geographic status.

I believe in public education, public health care, subsidized child care, taxes, etc. Every time I see a homeless person I see him or her as a way we have failed. Sometimes I wonder, in horror, if either of our kids will be in that position but most of the time I know that they won’t because they were raised by me and Brian, and we were given the tools to succeed in life, by good parents and strong communities. We were lucky. Poverty, drugs, crime they are all part of a cycle that is fueled by lack of education, unprepared/skilled parents and sub-par positive community support. Too many rich white men, namely republicans, have forgotten the christian values of charity, selflessness and service and instead believe that we are fully responsible for our own successes and failures. And we are to a point, sure. But the fact that I was raised by outstanding parents, in a decade/location that had good public education and that I am recreating those sets of circumstances for my kids is a god damn rarity these days. We are privileged, we must recognize that, and we must not forget and neglect those who aren’t. I want so much less disparity. Right now its just insane.

I believe that many much smaller countries have found solutions to all of these problems through government run programs. But I know that our country is too big and diverse for that kind of reform, sadly.

I also believe that our government is far too bureaucratic, too big and inefficient. I think we waste money right and left, and proper checks and balances aren’t in place and yet every time we place more checks and balances we just waste more money. But I’d rather waste money then not help people.

I agree that the political climate has grown into a ineffective storm of lame policy. Sadly I think that no one understands that more than Obama – who became such a victim of Washington politics, blocking what I deem to be progress at every point.

So yes, I am a democrat and while I don’t believe in ‘Big Government’ I believe we are all teenagers (or maybe toddlers?) and we need guidance from our parents to help us realize we are not the only people in the world and that other people matter. We need some rules, some policies, some guidelines to protect us and to constantly remind us to be better, be more empathetic, and serve others.

Now, is that all to say that I have aligned myself strongly with Hillary the whole time? I have wavered over the campaign but ultimately became pretty darn passionate about her near the end for a few reasons:

I believe that despite and because of her decades in Washington she truly cares about the American people and creating policies that are better for us. I believe that she is highly experienced in government and is extremely intelligent. I realize now that what I love about her is in a way a lot of what people disliked about her – too much time in Washington, too many ties that bind, too much money involved. After reading all your comments I do find them compelling (somehow its so much more interesting coming from you than pundits or media). I frankly also was excited to have a woman president. Furthermore I find Trump’s persona to be repugnant, negative, sexist and latently racist. Again … his persona. He is inexperienced in government (which I see as a negative, but its clear that many of you see this as a positive which I understand because I LOVED that Obama was fresh and uncorrupted). I didn’t grow to love Hillary til the end as I simply didn’t connect to her reactions and how she communicated. I am also deeply in love with Obama so anybody was going to be a hard rebound for me. I wish that I had loved her earlier and campaigned on her behalf more. For this I am ashamed.

What I’m realizing now is that we are all victims of the times, as right now America was looking for an outsider (Trump) and decidedly did not want a career politician (Clinton). Oh how I wish that we had listened to you years ago and nominated someone else this time for both parties. And oh how I wish the GOP had listened and found an outsider that was more experienced and less, well, Trump.

If I may represent liberals here, I think that what a lot of us are reacting to the seeming lack of empathy by Trump and his followers. Listen, nobody thinks letting anybody into this country is a good idea and we all believe that immigrants should go through a process to become citizens. But how he talked about ‘them’ pushed our sensitive buttons in a nauseating way. It turned ‘them’ into ‘others’ and dehumanized the very human situation. That offends our very core of acceptance and empathy – not that conservatives don’t have a sense of empathy, its just that we are hard wired to be angered by anything close to prejudice. That is our instinct as liberals – for good or bad. At the same time I think its easy for a privileged white blogger to say that she thinks that families who fled a dangerous life in Mexico should be able to just come and work and yes, take jobs. Easy for me to say because i’m not losing work. But after reading the comments I realize how much it has indeed affected your family – and with that I am also extremely empathetic and ashamed that I wasn’t thinking about that earlier.

Additionally the way he spoke about women we found deeply disturbing. While I don’t think that he thinks that women are inferior, he has consistently re-enforced sexists notions of looks, beauty and sub-par worth.  I think that he thinks that women are as intelligent as men because I’m hoping that he is a smart human and most smart humans know that. But historically he has belittled women and placed value (or removed value) based on boobs, beauty and pussy. I don’t know how to rectify this in my mind or with my daughter. YET.

Lastly while he may not himself be a racist (I’m trying to have an open mind here) he has not squashed, punished, stopped or repudiated the racism that has happened in or around his rallies or campaigns. He can’t control the actions of all his consituents, but he can do his due diligence as a human being to not only not incite it, but ask for it to stop. He seemed to like it and that is horrifying to us.

I know there are a lot of liberals out there throwing around the ‘racist’ and ‘sexist’ accusations to you voters, but i’m not actually one of them (although I do think that for some it is a factor). I really kept trying to put myself in the shoes of you and at times I definitely saw his appeal. So when he incited violence for the sake of an applause or laughter, I wanted to cry in fear of my children as all of you seemingly applauded. I hope that now that he is president and he got what he wanted that he will no longer pursue that method of destruction.

I think the larger picture problem is that his thoughts don’t represent ours to the world. We are kinder than he is. We are more accepting, more loving, more articulate, more prepared, more experienced. He embarrasses us.

And since abortion came up so strongly…. as soon as the birth control pill (or whatever form) is available over the counter and free or very inexpensive (at CVS, Walgreens, Target, etc NOT a random hard to get to government store that is only one 9-2) then we can talk about pro-choice versus pro-life. For me, personally, its less about control over my body, and more about education and access. I know how to prevent and handle/grow my unwanted pregnancy, but many, many, many, many do not have the sex education or the access to EASY birth control. Planned Parenthood was vital to me in my 20’s to get access and if it got shut down we would see hundreds of thousands of unwanted pregnancies from people who aren’t prepared to parent, which begins terrible cycles of general badness. Until there is proper sex education and, way more importantly, easy/free access to birth control then the pro-choice/pro-life is a conversation I will never entertain. Nobody, NOBODY wants an abortion.

After reading all your comments I truly feel enlightened and more hopeful. Its not that I like Trump more, its that hearing from real people with intelligently formed arguments brings me hope. I have tried over the last 9 months to find media that is unbiased and its so impossible. The media has done an absolutely offensive job of relaying the real information to those of us who want it on both sides. I read ‘HillBilly Elegy’ by JD Vance and LOVED it and that did help. But otherwise we see swasticas and ‘Hillary is a CUNT’ t-shirts all over the place, next to real quotes by Trump – all told by old white men. He made it easy to dislike him, its true. He did a great job of terrifying us with his absolutely non-issue based, non-sensical rhetoric while seemingly loving the violent nature of his crowds. I’m so happy and relieved that very few of you that supported him, really liked him. It sounds like it was time for change and sadly he was the candidate that offered that. We failed as a country seeing this need for change and certainly our media is very much to blame.

It was a bad year for all of us. But after reading this I truly feel like I understand more. Listen, if you call yourself a liberal I have something to say – OUR JOB, AS LIBERALS IS TO BE OPEN MINDED, PROCESS INFORMATION FROM ALL SIDES AND COME TO OUR OWN CONCLUSIONS. To be BIG, think BIG and include everyone in our thoughts. Just because we personally vaccinate our kids does not mean there isn’t a decent argument against government forced vaccinations. Just because we don’t like guns doesn’t mean they should be abolished. There is no way to move forward productively without researching the other side. And if you don’t do that research, you fail as a liberal. That ‘other side’ is now 50% of America. Its OUR JOB to try to understand, empathize, communicate, compromise grow and progress. Trump or no Trump we have to listen, be empathetic, open-minded and kind.

We can do this, America. It’s what we have been trained to do our entire lives. This is our emergency open heart surgery  and we have the skills, I promise. We can save this DOA situation and nurture it back to health.

Or dear god, if not, we can hope for a transplant, right? 🙂

Now is your turn, democrats to RESPECTFULLY talk about why you voted for Hillary. Go forth, respectively. testtest

  1. I found Scott Pelley’s commentary reassuring last night. have you seen it?

  2. So well written Emily. We’re sitting here watching this unfold from Australia and cannot believe the outcome. I love visiting America, and actually was in LA last week for a holiday, but what you say about people valuing freedom above equity is at the core of what I believe to be wrong with America.
    The divide between rich and poor is so shocking. The fact that you have to consider whether you have insurance before going to the hospital is shocking.
    Freedom is not all it’s cracked up to be. I don’t want my neighbour to have the freedom to have a gun. I want there to be rules that stop people owning guns so that I feel safe for myself and my family. Never in my life in Australia have I ever considered that someone I encountered might have a gun on them.
    I am happy to pay a medicare levy to know that everyone in this country has full access to high quality healthcare if they need it.
    What seems to drive all of this is this notion of the American dream, where anyone can “make it”., then they will be amongst the elite who have it all. Even the people who are not privileged seem to buy into this – and for this reason I think they continue to support this dream – because one day it might be them.
    Wishing you all the best x

    1. Incredible article Emily! You’ve beautifully articulated everything I’ve been thinking and things I haven’t been able to even process. I also agree even more with Bekk. As a Canadian it is so hard to comprehend Americans love of guns, military spending and lack of universal health care. So many seem to think anything even remotely “socialist” would be the end of society. Your article has given me hope for my neighbours to the south though and I thank you for that.

      1. Me three – I really don’t understand the fascination with guns and objection to free / subsidised health care. If part of the “American Dream” is the pursuit of happiness, then why is it only 13th on the World Happiness list (mind you the UK is 23rd!).

        The top ten countries are: Denmark, Canada, New Zealand, Australia, Switzerland, The Netherlands, Norway, Sweden, Iceland and Finland.

        What is the secret sauce that makes citizens of these nations so content and how can we emulate them? Maybe Hygge (which some claim is the cause of their contentment) is something Emily can cover in a future post i.e. “The art of building sanctuary and community, of inviting closeness and paying attention to what makes us feel open hearted and alive” and is often achieved in Denmark by lighting candles and eating good food.

        1. Also an outsider here (the Netherlands), but I am allowing myself to engage in the discussion, since the president of America is the most powerful person in the world, so these elections affect us all.
          You have written it well, Emily. We (liberals, here ‘on the left’) need to acknowledge why people vote ‘right’. We see it in Europe, too (Brexit, for example). That’s why, I don’t think it’s about the guns or birth control in the end (because those are no issues here). It’s about people being insecure and afraid about the future and unsatisfied with their present situation. Politicians like Trump (Le Pen in France ect) take advantage of this and instead of offering real help, they turn people against each other. That is really scary and really sad.

          1. @michelle-the answer is a resounding yes. Citizens with firearms have protected themselves and others countless times. I can’t provide figures, but I’m sure you can google and come up with plenty.

        2. I can speak a little bit to “the love of guns” It’s not that at all. It’s a love for our constitutional rights. It seems unpopular right now to love our constitution even though that’s the framework that lays out the rights of the people and the responsibilities of the Executive, Legislative and Judicial branches. One of the rights of people is to bear arms. The constitution says it’s okay AND those people had just gone through HELL to break free from a controlling government system — i trust their wisdom. Even though it was long ago they had insights and life experiences that our generation does not have. We hear a lot about ‘common sense’ gun control. Well. That sounds happy and good on the surface. But, who then decides what the line is? Who gets to decide if someone is “fit” for ownership? And if standards are set, who gets to change them down the road to include more categories of people that are unfit? American people most definitely get intense when DIRECT constitutional rights are threatened. Do I think it’s tacky for people with open carry permits to actually OPEN CARRY gigantic guns on their back? YES. That’s so weird and totally unnecessary to me. Do I find comfort in knowing that good, law-abiding citizens quietly and subtly Conceal Carry in order to have a way to stand up to bad, law-breaking citizens. YES. Are there bad apples that spoil the whole bunch, YES. (But I think the terrible people involved in mass shootings point to the bigger issue of teaching children to respect and love others, to respect authority, etc which is also a MAJOR problem in our country. We are broken in so many ways. Good in so many ways. But, changing the constitution isn’t the way to fix the broken.)

          This is a huge topic, and those are just some very very brief thoughts. I hope it sheds some light on the fact that we don’t all have shrines to our guns in our houses. Nor do we snuggle with them at night and name them. (Actually. I guess I can’t really be sure about that.)

          1. I don’t own a gun, but I have been around them most of my life. I am honestly not even bothered by the majority of the people that I know having them. I do find it a bit alarming that people identify so closely with their weapons, especially the way that people believe that they are the answer to their problems, or a tool to get what they want, or even worse, an extension of their egos.
            It’s difficult to accept that’s it’s simply about protecting a constitutional right when everyone wants to simply ignore, or dismiss, the 14th amendment that protects immigrants just the same as everyone else. The largest problem with all of these rights is that everyone seems to remove compassion from the equation. Aren’t constitutional rights equal? Aren’t they intended to be fair?

          2. This is such BS. Invoking Constitution and it’s lack of love. Constitutional Law is one of the most wonderful law classes I ever took. It is a beautiful piece of work, one that I love deeply. But it is only fit for 18th century. A founding father did not intend for military issued machine guns to be part of the “bear arms”. Just like the electoral college which is a failed system and declared so as far back as 18th century; it is not a one vote-one person system, but rather an over representation of small states with weirdly spread populations. The founding fathers must be just rolling in their graves at the literal accuracy everyone wants applied to the Constitution, a document that while, absolutely needs to apply, should be amended to the 21st century.

          3. Canadian here but this has always plagued me when it comes to the gun topic – has there ever been time when a law abiding citizen has taken out a bad guy because he/she was carrying a weapon? If so, when? Lots of reports of accidental shooting, or guns being in the wrong hands – where are the superhero stories of ordinary citizens coming to the rescue against the bad guy? Just in comic books?

          4. as someone who is moderate politically, but very, very pro gun control – thank you for a thoughtful, articulate counter-point.

          5. @paula, I can’t tell who your response it directed to, but if you’re calling my explanation BS, I’ll respond by saying that I was simply trying to answer the original question of “I can’t understand American’s love of guns.” It’s not BS to say it’s a love of rights, not guns. That’s the main reason Americans who are passionate about it have that passion. I was simply explaining from an American’s perspective. That’s all.

          6. This argument really bothers me. It also bothers me that someone who is claiming to love the constitution doesn’t know it’s history. Please do some research and learn why the right to bear arms was included in the constitution. It wasn’t an idea that came from a place of “wisdom” or insight. At the time, the country didn’t have an army and depended on having an armed citizenry in case of an attack. Do you think that context still applies today?

          7. I am so so sick of Trump supporters touting the constitutional. I’m a lawyer. Tons of Trump supporters claim love for the constitution and yet hated on Hillary for representing an indigent criminal defendant (6th Amendment, 14th Amendment, 15th Amendment). Trump supporters “love the constitution,” but didn’t think there was anything wrong with Trump supporting Stop and Frisk (violation of the 4th and 14th Amendment). The “love of the constitution” is the argument conservatives rely on, yet they have no clue what the constitution says.

          8. I guess it’s like how a few bad apple immigrants ruin the whole bunch…. Also, people responsible for mass shootings are a product of mental illness, NOT growing up in homes who didn’t inforce respect. My mom didn’t enforce respect, so i back talked as a teenager. I didn’t kill a bunch of people. I hope some day you are able to emphasize instead of just sympathize. I hope you transcend & are able to pop that justifying bubble you live in.

        3. I can’t help but notice that those 10 countries you listed all have universal health care (according to a quick Google search I just did). Hmmmm. 🙂

          As a Canadian who will soon be seeing the sun setting at 4pm….YES to all the Hygge!

          1. @Jennifer-there’s no reply button on your comment, and I think the replies are getting all out of order. So, I’m not certain if your response is for me or not, but it sounds like it is.

            My response was to the original poster who said, “I don’t understand American’s love of guns.” My response was it’s not so much a love of guns, but a love a rights.

            I’m not going to get into a big long back-and-forth with you, but I would say that YES, all of the things that are in the constitution at present are still applicable. It’s the framework that we currently have–so there is absolutely nothing wrong with individuals wanting to claim the rights that are within the constitution. Also, as far as why the 2nd amendment was added, you’re exactly right. I don’t know the intricate details of the history surrounding the second amendment, so I’ll do my due diligence in looking into it and studying it. If I was wrong about why it’s there and what circumstances lead to it being put there, then I’ll admit it (though not here because I’ve spent way too much time here this week anyway.)

            However, I won’t go back on saying it’s not a love of guns, it’s a love of rights. I was simply trying to shed a little more light on the question of the original poster.

        4. Until very recently, these countries were completely homogenous. They aren’t so happy now that they are wrestling with immigration and multi-culturalism. PS happiness isn’t the goal anyway.

          1. Hello, I’m a woman of colour who lives in Vancouver, Canada. I can assure you that Canada is not a homogeneous place. I am and have always been surrounded by diversity. I can say that is true of all Canadian cities, which is where most of our people live.

            Secondly, let’s look beyond the word happiness, as yes, it can sound frivolous. What does it mean to me? I don’t worry about my childrens safety, I don’t worry that their friends are hungry. While, of course, poverty exsists here, most children can go about their lives growing and learning without being impeded by poverty, racism, lack of healthcare, lack of safe housing, lack of community support. That makes me happy.

            I wish that for the world. My parents were immigrants from a Third World country, they worked hard but were unable to give me all the things (books to read, western knowledge to share) that would put me at the same starting point as 2nd or 3rd generation Canadians. Yet, I had social welfare to help with this inequity. This includes: public education, public health, community resources and general acceptance of my family’s religious and cultural differences. And with that, I got a better life than my parents, and my children will have even more opportunities than I had as they have a mother who reads to them and advocates for them. This is the dream and I wish this for EVERYONE. I am the luckiest, most privileged person. And much of that I owe to my parents choosing Canada as a home.

          2. I can assure you, I am happy. New Zealand.

          3. I’m a New Zealander and I wouldn’t call NZ homogeneous. While the population here is predominantly of European descent we are, on the whole, a happily multi-cultural country! I’d say things like free, universal healthcare and education make us a lot happier than all being “the same”. Oh, and for the record, the vast majority of New Zealanders are horrified by Trump’s election. He stands for everything most of us are against.

          4. Canada, which is much higher up on the happiness list than USA, is also much more multicultural than USA. It has one of the highest immigration rates per capita. (please see Wikipedia article on Canadian multiculturalism, which states “Data confirm that Canada has fostered a much more accepting society for immigrants and their culture than other Western countries. For example, Canadians are the most likely to agree with the statement that immigrants make their country a better place to live and that immigrants are good for the economy. They are also the least likely to say that there are too many immigrants in their country, that immigration has placed too much pressure on public services, and that immigrants have made it more difficult for natives to find a job.”). I now live in the US, but I am very thankful that my family back home gets to attend excellent public schools, and if any of them were to lose their jobs, they will still keep their 100% free healthcare.

      2. Please know that all Americans don’t have a love for guns.

    2. I can understand how, on first glance, there seems to be a huge love for guns here. I’m a moderate and I don’t vote based on party. In this election, I voted for Hillary, as did my husband. That said, we own a number of guns in a city that has very strict gun laws.

      Like another person mentioned above — it’s chiefly about the constitutional rights. And in addition, I personally like to be prepared and educated. So whether it’s learning about how planets are formed, why coffee became a popular beverage, or how to style a coffee table, I similarly want to know how to use a gun responsibly, if I were ever to be in a life endangering situation. And I believe all legal gun owners should be required to have education and training that is more extensive than that of today. Police included.

      Guns are not scary to me, yet I didn’t grow up with a gun in the house (despite growing up in a state where that is fairly common). Because the people who are committing the atrocities will commit them, whether or not there are stronger gun laws or no guns at all.

      Bad people will find a way to do bad things.

    3. I totally agree with you Bekk! I watched the elections from Australia too, and after the results came out, searched the internet for something, anything that would explain the Trump vote to me. I truly wanted to understand.

      Luckily, I came across Emily’s previous blog post, but l feel exactly the same way you do about how things are done in America, especially after reading some of the comments.

      As a person who migrated here from a third world country, I LOVE that we have access to good healthcare, even if it means penny pinching because of the medicare levy. We are so fortunate to have 8 months of maternity leave, and some sort of financial help for the government for single mothers, and in general, families that may find it hard to care for their children. All of this means that Australia is one of the most highly taxed nations in the world, but to see it actually go somewhere somewhat tangible makes it justifiable (to me).

      My heart breaks for what is currently happening in the US right now, and I can only wish all of you love and light. Also, a huge thank you to all of the comments for allowing me to gain understanding to such a complex issue.


  3. thanks for posting this information

  4. Emily,

    May I first say how awesome it is that you’re not afraid to be bold and state your opinions despite the divisiveness they may cause on a blog not intended for these sorts of issues? People may say they don’t want to hear about politics on an interior design blog, but we’re all human, and some of us are hurting right now. So I thank you for not forgetting about us in between talking about pretty couches and lamps.

    I voted for Hillary because first and foremost, she’s qualified. She’s spent 30 years fighting for women and children, served 8 years as the First Lady, served as the US Senator of New York, and finally as the Secretary of State. She’s for equal rights for LGBTQ Americans, she supports sensible gun control, she wants to fight and fix economic inequality, and believes that climate change is REAL.

    I don’t have a child of my own, but I have a young niece whom I absolutely LOVE like a daughter, and I want her to live in a world where her President values science and understands how absolutely essential it is to fight for policies pertaining to climate change and clean energy. We won’t have a future for our kids if we don’t have clean air to breathe, or clean water to drink.

    I want to make it clear that I wouldn’t be this angry and depressed if a QUALIFIED Republican had won. Yes, it would be a step backwards for a lot of people, and being a woman of color, I definitely wouldn’t be thrilled. But this is a different beast altogether. The fact that such an unqualified man gets access to our nuclear codes and has the temperament of a 10 year old is absolutely terrifying. I’m afraid for the world. I want to believe that he will be smarter as President than when he was campaigning, but it’s hard. Really hard.

    1. I second Mika’s views, and yours Emily. Here in Australia I’ve been poring endlessly over news articles and essays trying to make sense of all this. I’ve read some fascinating academic stuff eg http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2016/04/america-tyranny-donald-trump.html. But I knew you would have something insightful to say too. Thanks for being a well-rounded design blogger!

      1. I agree that I also wouldn’t be as angry or disheartened, if the nation chose a qualified republican.

    2. I don’t have a lot to add. I agree with everything you said and am a Strong Liberal for all of the reasons you listed. I also agree with Minka on Hillary. Everyone is so well spoken and passionate.

      The only thing I have to offer is I live in Texas where I am certainly the minority in my political beliefs. I am also upper middle class, educated and privileged. Everyone I know went to college and Id say 75% of them voted for Trump (including my family). The ONLY arguments they ever really gave me were the following. (None of which I agree with)
      1- Anyone but Hillary- They told me all sorts of things about her and how they ‘just didn’t like her’ or trust her. A lot of it I could fight back on but there was some corruption there, to which I responded with Trumps obvious corruption. Either way They felt she was ‘More corrupt’ than he was. I obviously disagree but this was their point.
      2- They will always vote republican.
      3-Gun rights and Taxes- which is linked to number 2- A lot of people I know will benefit heavily from lifting income taxes on investments and the estate tax. (including myself) So I get it… its about protecting their pocket books. I happen to believe the opposite is needed in our county but I understand the inclination to be untrustworthy of government spending.

      That is all I ever heard. So this still all doesn’t make sense to me. After reading the comments yesterday on your blog I’m still confused. People didn’t seem to have read the policies he was putting out there. They just blanket believe he will cut their personal taxes..

      I appreciate you putting everything out there in a very articulate way. Thank you as it is always comforting hearing someone with a like mind after such a devastating election.

      1. Anyone but Hillary….this is the part we all so grossly underestimated. As a liberal, a hard-working mom, a believer in equality, empathy, and social justice…of course I voted for her. But since her first run in 2008, I’ve said over and over…I’m uncomfortable and disheartened that she was the first woman to really have a shot at this. And when I forget for a split second who she lost to and where we are now, there is a tiny part of me that’s glad that it wasn’t her.

        Say what you will about her 30 years of service…the basic fact was that she rose on her husband’s tide. In the wake of tough realities and terrible behavior on his part, she made personal decisions which – while I respect as her own – I never, ever, would have made myself. I don’t believe she is corrupt but I do think she’s shown poor judgement on many occasions, and in many of the people she surrounds herself with. Do I think she would have been a fine/better president than Trump? Yes. Of course. The bar was ridiculously low.

        But 30 years from now, when we look back, I want us to be eyes-brimming-with-tears, stand-up-a-little-taller, role-model-for-our-daughters proud of that first woman to hold the highest office. And in my heart of hearts….I know I wouldn’t have felt that way about her.

        What the electorate has shown us is that it’s not enough to dislike the person you are voting against. You have to believe in the person you are voting for.

    3. Your language is so offensive!

      1. Whose language is offensive?

    4. Can a single liberal tell me what they actually know about Trump besides what they have seen on the tv. He is not a politician, he has not been trained in the political way of doing things. He is a business man and a father. He has done very well for himself and along the way has employed thousands of people including women and men blacks and whites and people from a multitude of religions. He has never done drugs nor does he drink alcohol.
      Trump believes in the laws of our country. LAWS that founded this country and made us the great place we are, why else would we have so many people wanting to come here. Illegal immigrants are not a race they are people here that have broken the law hence the word illegal. My own father came to this country as an immigrants but he did it the legal way. LAWS are in place to protect us ,we can not pick and choose what laws we follow.

      Those who are disgusted by trumps words against women, and yes they are disgusting, I would hope that Bill Clintons actions over his entire life in public office and Hillarys supporting of him and degrading publicly the women he abused would disgust you as well if not more. Let’s all remember Hillary laughing about getting a 12 year old girls rapist off.

      I worry about anyone in government who accept massive amounts of money from any one group. I worry that there will be an expectation of payback.

      Healthcare in our country is a mess but obama care is not the answer. My child’s roommate is in debt almost $10,000 for the hospital stays copay. He has Obama care! He said he would op out this year and pay a fine instead since it’s cheaper.

      Please stop stereotyping the “rich white man” it fuels the racist fire in this country. There is not a person here who is sinless .
      We can’t have it both ways; I don’t like what he said about women but I listen to music that degrades women
      I am not racist but calling someone a honky or whitey or redneck is ok
      I don’t like sexualizing women but talking about some man like that is ok,like so and so has a great ass and what I would do to grab it. Please don’t deny that many of you have said or even thought that.

      And finally the gun issue. Please believe that taking the guns away or whatever will not stop a criminal intent on breaking the law from having and using a gun just like making drugs illegal won’t stop a druggie from using or selling them. I carry a gun and trust and believe I would use it to protect myself and you if I needed too. I do not know of a single legal gun owner or carrier that does not feel this way. I was more than happy when a man broke in to my home and terrorized me and my two young daughters. Luckily I had a gun so he was the one carried out on a stretcher.

      Finally give trump a chance. Protesting in the streets will not change the due process of our government. We all have a chance to vote for his replacement in four years if you are not satisfied. Half the country did not vote for Obama but I do not recall people. Protesting and crying and carrying on as if it’s the end of the world and burning flags.

      If you are willing to burn and stomp on our flag you should be willing to lay underneath it. The flag represents the American people not the president or government. Be proud to be an American, if you don’t like it you can leave. But make sure you check the immigrant rules of whatever country you want to go to because everyone single other country in this world has immigration rules and regulations!!!

      1. Please, I just want to point out that it’s a complete rumor that Hillary laughed about freeing a 12 year old girl’s rapist. She was laughing about the fact that she was young and naive when she worked on that case, and that it destroyed her faith in polygraph tests. Educating yourself on rumors is important. There’s a lot of propaganda out there on both sides, but some of the rumors based on Hillary are proven false many times over. There is no rumor of Trump’s awfulness. He laid it bare on camera time and time again for all to see and hear. And that is what so many people have a problem with. How can I trust a man that says so many awful things about so many people? Why would I ever think he has my well being and safety in mind? Why would I be able to trust him?
        Nobody is trying to take guns away. That has never been the intent, and that never will be. Any law abiding citizens who have guns have nothing to worry about. It’s a crime to drive drunk, because driving a car while intoxicated can kill people. You need a license to drive. There’s some process and due diligence involved before you’re allowed to drive a car. So why shouldn’t we have laws that create a basic background check, just to make sure a known criminal isn’t buying a gun which only purpose is to kill hundreds of people at a time? Why does anyone need a weapon like that? Just because they can?
        It’s important to broaden our world views. It’s hard to figure out how to get along, when so many people with a conservative mindset live in one bubble, and liberals live in another.

        1. Please research a bit farther, she did laugh while discussing getting a child rapist off . This was before she was fired from watergate for her unability to be truthful and her corrupt nature.
          Hillary referred to some of the women that bill abused as white trash among other unsavory words. Please understand that white trash is a racist term too.

          I am an educated white women with a gay child, blacks and whites in my family as well as military personnel and civilians Jewish and Christians,immigrants (legal) and born Americans. I have lived in the city and in more rural areas in seven states throughout this country as well as a stint abroad. Most of my family voted for trump because they are sick of the corruption that is know as our government. They are sick of people that expect something for nothing. They are tired of how lawless people have become who think rules don’t apply to them. They are tired of people that live in their bubble without any real perspective of how so many people in this country actually live.
          The ones that didn’t vote for trump did not vote for Hillary but for one of the other independent candidates.

          How sad to see protestors continuing to divide this country with their horrible actions, like burning the flag and saying trump should die etc etc. the same people who three days ago said the division in our country is a big problem. Let’s all try to be part of the solution and not part of the problem.

          Try volunteering one way or another to help the country and its people instead of complaining about half of us!!

          I myself am on my way to volunteer at the local LGBT center like I have done for years….wow and I voted for Trump. Stop stereotyping people because they don’t think the way you do.
          The majority of trump supporters are good people just like the majority of all clinton supporters are.

          God bless the USA!!

          1. Wow. I so appreciate, although I don’t necessarily agree with your comment: “I am an educated white women with a gay child, blacks and whites in my family as well as military personnel and civilians Jewish and Christians,immigrants (legal) and born Americans. I have lived in the city and in more rural areas in seven states throughout this country as well as a stint abroad. Most of my family voted for trump because they are sick of the corruption that is know as our government. They are sick of people that expect something for nothing. They are tired of how lawless people have become who think rules don’t apply to them. They are tired of people that live in their bubble without any real perspective of how so many people in this country actually live.” It sounds like you have had a ton of wide experiences and your candor is compelling. thank you.

          2. Marge- I am also an educated white woman with an LGBT child. While I completely support your right to choose the candidate you vote for, I cannot respect your choice. The allegations of Secretary Clinton’s firing during the Watergate hearings are false and have been debunked over and over. The allegations of laughing over freeing a 12 year old girl’s rapist are also untrue. The Republicans have been demonizing the Clintons for almost 25 years and they’ve finally succeeded in stopping a qualified, hardworking woman from winning the presidency. I have family and probably friends who voted for Trump, so I don’t lump every Trump supporter in with the racist, ugly rhetoric that was seen during the campaign. But honestly you all need to show us that you don’t support the rhetoric, because anti-woman, anti-Muslim incidents are already beginning to happen. It is going to be much harder to close Pandora’s box than it was to open it.

          3. Marge, have you ever come to this blog to read about design? Or are you simply searching for places where this dialogue is happening so you can give a Fox News-style response? Something in your responses suggests the latter. Your candidate won. You should feel happy about it. However, your candidate is also the one who went after Obama for years creating a fake conspiracy about him not being born in America. He’s appointing people who are on record with extremely racist and xenophobic agendas and belief systems. Far more divisive than burning a flag.

        2. Would like to also note in reference to “laying it all bare”, that HRC was indeed on a mission to destroy the life of a 22 YO subordinate intern her wandering husband was involved with while he was POTUS. Also, that her family’s foundation (under on going investigation by the FBI) accepted millions from countries whose treatment of women is worse than imaginable, speaks volumes. These are just a few examples of why she is not, apparently, the “champion of women” in the minds of many American women who find these actions “deplorable”. How does one support a women like that? While it is true that Donald Trump has said some awful things that are also rejected, at least he came out to apologize for his actions in regards to his “locker room” speak on that bus. I’ve never heard HRC apologize to the young woman she discredited and demonized….. (along with the many others). But for that darn blue dress, the truth was exposed. The Clintons became even more powerful and made millions, the intern kicked to the curb. Not rumor, but truth.

      2. I think looking at Trump’s policies and those he has put in charge of his policies is terrifying without looking at his media image or rhetoric. He is using the same economic policies as Reagan did – cutting red tape and business taxes, a tax cut on income, a repeal of estate taxes and high interest rates. Which will cost trillions of dollars with the same promise Reagan made that it will bring in more tax revenue over the long run. He also doesn’t believe in global warming or a woman’s right to choose. Don’t even get me started on the horror of Pence.

        What you really voted for is the same bad policies that hollowed out the middle class and left the rich, richer, the environment worse off and policies that will set women back 60 years. These are real policies they want to implement with real consequences. I hope I’m wrong, but it’s all their in black and white on his website.

        1. I had a typo, and can’t edit it **there not their. Ugh that will bug me.

      3. Wow Marge. Your comments are not helping in the healing process. They are divisive and angry. I am a conservative Independent and have voted Republican in every election since I turned 18. I did not, however, vote for Trump. We know a lot about Trump based on what we saw on TV as we heard a lot of hurtful and disrespectful things straight from his own mouth over the last 18 months. I also did not vote for Trump because he does not have the experience I think someone needs to govern this country. And yes, there are men and women out there who talk about the opposite sex in demeaning ways but I didn’t vote for them either (Bill Clinton included). I agree that we need to give Trump a chance. The election is over and we all need to be open-minded for our country to be successful in the future. However, peaceful protest is one of our constitutional freedoms (just as is your right to own a gun) so don’t engage in name-calling to those who protest. These are proud Americans.

        1. Peaceful protests are great! I’ve exercised that right quite a few times when I was younger.
          Some of these protests are not peaceful, as in Oakland. Did you read the letter from the mayor to business owners explaining why the police cannot provide protection? http://www2.oaklandnet.com

      4. It’s kind of the pot calling the kettle black when you talk of the media spin on Hillary and disregard (or didn’t care to research) actual, proven truths. Such as stating Clinton laughed about getting a rapist off – this is unequivocally wrong, and has been proven as such. Go ahead and look it up on Politifact. Another example is “taking away guns” – this again, is false, if you read Hillary’s – and other democrats – policies. It’s about universal background checks and perhaps limiting what type of guns people can buy, as we know no one is using AR-15s or the like for hunting, and they sure don’t need to be used for protection, period. While you may use your correctly, and may have nothing in your background that should prevent you from purchasing a gun (I.e. Domestic abuse), there are plently that don’t and shouldn’t have access to a gun. That’s what I don’t get, the being selfish over the good of others. Sure, some may get them illegally, but why can’t we at least try?? Our forefathers sure didn’t have the type and amount of guns we have now, and couldn’t possible have had the forethought of what was to come; that’s why we have amendments. People are rooting because they are upset and scared for someone who has shown and supported nothing but hate and disregard for many people. It won’t change things, but that’s how they’re choosing to release and show their feelings.

        1. I’m so disillusioned at the fact that every time one mentions ‘gun control’ anywhere on the internet people feel the need to defend their second amendment constitutional right to own a gun. HEY EVERYBODY, and yes i’m pissed, NOBODY IS TRYING TO TAKE YOUR GUNS AWAY. We simply want reform, regulations, background checks and education. I stated that I understand that abolishment of guns is not a policy that should or will happen, so why, WHY does every time the word GUN incite the ‘don’t you take my guns’ dialogue????

          1. Because it’s about the bigger picture. Why did the founding fathers put that amendment in there in the first place?? So the people could protect themselves from their GOVERNMENT. Any elementary history lesson would show why that is a legitimate concern: Our mother land Britain, Stalin, Marx, Hitler, North Korea, China. Those are just the few I remember from my highschool days. Strong government too easily could lead to an oppressed people which just isn’t worth the risk. You said it yourself, we are innately bad, we are innately selfish and sinful. Those exact same selfish sinners go into running our government. People don’t automatically become saints just because they are in the public office. They carry that fleshly baggage with them (as we all do into all our vocations). Now give those same selfish sinners power. Power over people. Why would you not assume it would could go horribly wrong? If we can’t be trusted to run ourselves as ordinary loving citizens, why would it be logical to assume we’d do a good job governing other people? I’m all for loving your neighbor, but big government at the expense of freedom is not the answer. I’d rather be hungry and homeless and free, than run the risk of being put there by my government. Heck, isn’t Trump being in power enough to wake us up that big government is no good?

            As a side, though I don’t agree with most of your views, I did thoroughly enjoy reading this post. Before this, I didn’t know liberals could have civil conversations or even be nice! But my exposure was only what I ran into in the media for I too live in a bubble. It was refreshing and insightful and I’m surprised to say has caused me to enjoy your blog even more. Thank you.

          2. Emily, I am a Republican and I have to agree with you. My husband is a proud gun owner and I think the Republican party has been fueled on the idea that the Dems want to take away the guns. From what my husband has told me though, anytime you buy a gun, there is a background check. He has done it many times. I don’t think any Republican would disagree about background checks being needed, either. There are just many dems out there that want it to become harder to purchase them and/or want guns gone in general which scares the population that has and enjoys guns legally.

            Regarding Trump vs. Hillary, I voted Trump and I was in the minority in my classification that did so (white, 26, college educated). I voted for him because I think our healthcare system is a mess (everyone that I know that has Obamacare is seeing at MINIMUM a 50% increase next year), I am pro-life, I believe in securing our border against illegal immigrants and non-vetted refugees, I want less government, and I am tired of the handouts for those who take advantage of them yet there are still people out there that cannot have access to assistance they need. Another thing that I think appealed to Trump supporters was his rejection of political correctness- something I think is very refreshing.

            It is so sad to see so many protesters asking for Trump to DIE and to see people burning flags in the street. He may not be your choice, but he was chosen by the people fairly. The protesters are NOT peaceful and do not deserve empathy because they are only dividing the country further. What ever happened to peaceful protest? Put your energy toward loving others and bringing this country together.

          3. I don’t understand why Americans need all these guns in the first place? Sure, you CAN have them, but why do you need to?

      5. I voted for Hillary Clinton because it is time this country steps away from allowing mostly white, middle age and older males to govern us. I voted for Hillary because she would have been at the least a good president if not a great president. But that isn’t why I’ve replied to this response.
        This is directed to everyone left, right, center truth is what matters, not lies and smears. I don’t accept what appears on left leaning news such as the NYT or MSNBC but research, fact check and go to sources such as PolitiFact and Politico to sort out the truth, from the “Pants on Fire”… people who listen to Fox, or Breitbart without question and then spread those rumors many times knowingly do this country a great disservice. As already noted that was not true about Hillary’s reaction.
        What is true is her statement that under Trump’s tax plan 51% of single parents will see an increase in their taxes.

      6. @ perfectly said, Marge!

      7. Well said!!!

        1. Marge’s comment is the epitome of the same angry arguments from privileged trump supporters that don’t get it or ever will. No reasoning.

          As a woman of color with dark skinned children I was literally nervous to leave my house the last few days. Even in the diverse bubble of the Bay Area. I can’t imagine what the next few years will be like.

      8. Here are my concerns:

        His comments towards women, people of color, immigrants and muslims are disrespectful and in several cases, show a lack of comprehension of our Constitution and civil rights.

        His comments about the Ukraine, ISIS and Putin, to name a few, show a lack of comprehensive knowledge regarding world politics. This kind of rhetoric is barely acceptable from a drunk uncle at Thanksgiving. From the leader of the most powerful nation on earth, it is catastrophic.

        He has said more than once that climate change is a hoax. It is not a hoax. It’s happening, and will swiftly become the most devastating threat to humanity we have ever experienced. We have to take action now if you want your grandchildren to be able to go outside and breathe air and hear a bird’s song.

        We humans live together on one planet, balanced on a fragile peace, and it takes great expertise not to blow the whole thing up. Trump has shown himself to be vindictive and retaliatory, prone to inflammatory statements — this is why all the world’s leaders were vehemently opposed to him.

      9. I’m with you, Marge!

      10. Marge have you ever talked to someone trying to immigrate to the U.S?… unless you are a high-achieving international student or specialized in a highly-coveted skill to get a h1-b visa, it’s *quite* difficult. We have plenty of rules and regulations as it is. Immigration to the U.S. has been on the decline since 2008.

      11. Thanks for your comment. My husband and I are doubled up laughing.

      12. Of course you don’t recall people protesting and crying after Obama won, it’s because you have a selective memory. Here’s your President-elect after Obama won: http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/donald-trumps-2012-election-tweetstorm-resurfaces-popular-electoral/story?id=43431536

        You don’t recall Trump spending years claiming Obama wasn’t born in America? Or do you think that’s fake or some conspiracy? Trump was not trained in the “political way of doing things?” Oh, you mean he hasn’t spent decades not paying his undocumented workers, not paying taxes, and going bankrupt several times?

    5. Mika, I agree with you 100%…I am a registered Republican but could not vote for him. If there had been a qualified Republican I would have not voted outside my party. (which I’ve done once before) I’m so tired of many Trump supporters saying that people are upset just because he “won”. There have been plenty of elections that the candidate I voted for lost and this is the first time in 40 years that I actually felt depressed and sick to my stomach. Still trying to wrap my head around it. And as far as Trump being smarter as President, I have my sincere doubts.

      1. To those of you who voted for Trump because he is “anti-establishment” or doesn’t care about being “politically correct” I invite you to look at who he is considering for cabinet posts: Gingrich, Christie, Giuliani, and his children. You cannot get more establishment than that. The nepotism is blatant. Tell me how that is “draining the swamp”.

        For the anti-ACA arguers: I am one of the 20 million+ people who got access to health insurance under the Affordable Care Act. It’s not a perfect bit of legislation, objectively due to the interference and obstructionism of Republicans in Congress, but it did extend access to millions of individuals who would otherwise be uninsured and drive up overall health care costs by going to emergency rooms. I agree with Emily in that I view health care as a fundamental right, like public education, so if you disagree with that than I don’t have a counter argument for you.

        For the anti-protestors: Democrats have won six of the last seven presidential elections in terms of popular vote. Despite this, two Republican presidents have been elected in 16 years. This comes on the heels of Trump himself disavowing the electoral college in 2012 and complaining that the election was rigged. If you can’t see the irony there, obviously you don’t understand why people are protesting. In addition, Trump has explicitly said he will reduce the rights of marginalized populations like women and minorities. Forgive us if we don’t stand idly by while he proceeds to curtail the rights and freedoms we have fought for.

        I never bought the narrative that Hillary was crooked. Politifact (a bi-partisan fact checking source) ranked Trump as overtly lying 70-90% of the time and the media never called him on it. If Fox News says she’s a liar for 25 years, of course people are going to believe it. It’s up to you to decide if that is real.

        Two things that need more discussion than they are getting:
        – How do you reconcile the fact that Russia hacked the DNC and there are quotations from Russian government officials that they worked with Trump’s team? This is the first time in our country’s history that a foreign power has overtly interfered in our elections. Easily the most treasonous thing that has happened in elections EVER.
        – By electing Trump you are doing irreversible damage to our planet. He is appointing a climate change denier to the EPA. You can’t say you care about your children or our country’s future when you’re ok with the continued destruction of the planet.

        1. @Catie, well-argued and correct. All of it

        2. @Catie Yes and thank you!

        3. @Catie, hats off. Perfectly said.

  5. I think you said everything I would, but more graciously than I’m capable of saying it right now.

  6. The heading of your post is crucial in explaining why I voted “against Trump”. Was I thrilled to be voting for Hillary? No. Was I ever going to vote for Trump? Absolutely not. As someone who spent 25 years in a field that was dominated by men, I had dealt with too many men who were like Trump. Men who harassed me, men who physically assaulted me or my colleagues where we knew it was useless to turn them in because the person we had to report it to was just as bad Like Hillary, in order to succeed to a higher level than our colleagues, we had to be perfect, not good, but perfect.

    I am lucky that I live in a state that voted blue but because of Social Media, I discovered the ugliness of people I once considered friends. Over and over, I saw posts that were hateful and racist. They never bothered to check their facts before posting. I am so afraid for my grandchild & what Trump’s presidency will mean. I don’t know anyone who doesn’t have a gay relative or immigrant friend or relative or know a disabled person that they care about in their lives. He insulted all of them with NO repercussions! I had friends tell me just last weekend that their child got insurance that they needed because of Obamacare. Another spoke of it being their savior due to having a pre-existing condition. It’s not perfect but it did a lot of good, too.

    Mostly, I am disillusioned that so many people use their religion as being the reason they picked this man. How hypocritical! He doesn’t represent the Christian values I cherish. I am sick of people calling anyone for HRC a Libtard. No respect, just no respect. P.S. When someone makes the STUPID comment that “the people have spoken”, uh, duh, MORE than HALF the voters voted for Hillary. Yes, we spoke and it fell on deaf ears…

  7. By the way, the posts yesterday helped me too. My parents are Trump supporters in Pennsylvania, and it is so hard for me not to be pissed at them right now. Yesterday’s posts reminded me of what I used to feel back when I was more conservative, like my parents– that there ARE valid reasons to support a conservative agenda, and it is demeaning and infuriating for liberals to just assume that conservatives are stupid, afraid, hate-filled, or racist. ( That said– it is REALLY hard not to see Trump and his supporters as exactly those four things.) Anyway, I am not at peace with my own parents yet, but yesterday’s post helped me get there.

    THIS election made me realize how proud I am to be progressive and liberal. I always considered myself moderate before, but this election made me realize that there is only one party that shares my values today: the democratic party. I’m proud of the democrats and will keep supporting them from afar (by absentee ballot!) here in Israel (where, by the way, socialized medicine and more of a social safety net are AWESOME). You laid out what being “liberal” means beautifully.

  8. Emily – if I had had a vote, I too would have voted for Hillary for all the excellent reasons you have illustrated above.

    Yesterday, my sister wrote the following, which helped me come to terms with the recent changes in the political spectrum and the swing to the far right (something many in Europe fear for very good historical reasons):

    “Brexit. Trump. It’s easy to feel deflated, down, defeated. Don’t. Never stop believing in our values of justice, tolerance and common good sense. Believe in Michelle Obama’s wise words, “When they go low – we go high.” Or as Michael Moore said only this morning, “However this ends, this is where we begin.” There are a whole mass of wonderful, bright and courageous people who support neither Brexit nor Trump. Take heart and let’s move forwards confident that we can eventually win the argument through reasoned debate not narrow populist media stories. We will not be bullied into acquiescence by racists and populists.”

  9. I voted for Hillary because Bernie Sanders lost in the primaries. I fought so hard for Bernie and know that if he would have won the primaries we would have won this election–for various reasons–but mainly because he is NOT Hillary Clinton. The democratic party messed up; I can’t believe just how badly. I know I sound like a whiny loser bring up the primaries…

    But how could you not see that Hillary would lose?

    Democrats not doing the math (i.e. looking at the Electoral College and Upper Midwest because we should know by now the popular vote counts for naught), not looking at international politics (Brexit, rise of populism worldwide in general, and OBVIOUSLY in the U.S. as indicators of what’s to come for us), not realizing that a huge, HUGE population of people saw Hillary as untrustworthy and dishonest EVEN WITHIN THE HER OWN PARTY, NOT voting in the primaries for a candidate with a cleaner slate…

    I was not at all surprised that Trump won. The DNC took a bet and lost and now we suffer the consequences. If anything, I hope we’ve learned a lesson and won’t let it happen again. I think that’s why Bernie supporters are all up in arms because this is what we most feared and don’t ever want to happen again. With that said, we must fight for what’s right and keep our heads held high and unite.

    1. ^^ This.

      I felt the Bern. I don’t know if he’d have won, but I haven’t slept soundly sine he lost, knowing that I wouldn’t be happy with either major party candidate. I wanted better for myself and my extended family than what DNC leadership tought was obtainable, wise, or practical. I didn’t think we’d get everything Bernie’s plans called for, but I wanted the chance to at least try.

      Am I anti-edtablishment? Maybe. I voted for Hillary, but only because a Trump presidency was more terrifying to me.

      1. Yes! You don’t compromise by starting halfway to the middle! I wanted Bernie so badly. Only voted for Hillary because as a sexual assault victim (three times over starting in elementary school) there was NO way I was voting for Trump.

        And, now that Congress is Republican and likely the Supreme Court, too, I don’t see ANY checks and balances.

        I’m very frightened.

    2. the DNC deliberately worked against Bernie Sanders and made sure Hillary was the nominee.

    3. I loved Bernie, and would have preferred him to Hillary. BUT. I personally thought Bernie’s position was too far left. In the past decades of presidential history, we’ve swung left…reversed right…swung back left..and so on and so on. This was the Republican’s election to lose. And a week ago I thought it was actually goig to happen! I thought Hillary was playing safe-game and could swing enough of the moderate republicans her way to win the vote. To win Florida (my state) To win North Carolina and Pennsylvania. In hindsight, well shit nothing about this election followed history. Maybe Trumps’s “disenfranchised base” would have found a viable candidate in Sanders- I didn’t see it, and I’m sorry for that. Reading through yesterday’s comments section, I really feel like women’s reproductive rights are still a fierce issue–for both parties. A lot of conservatives just can not get past the abortion issue. And I am losing sleep over that.

  10. I’d suggest you read some of the careful data analysis being done before asserting racism. Yes, the polls were wrong, but we can now look at the final data for a more quantitative analysis. As Nate Cohn of the Upshot pointed out, “Clinton suffered her biggest losses in the places where Obama was strongest among white voters. It’s not a simple racism story”.

    Ignore the talking heads. They’re going to repeat the same tired analysis that got us here.

    1. I don’t think anyone thinks Trump won just because 50% of the country is racist. But I think Trump clearly is racist and sexist, and it’s hard for a lot of people to accept that he wasn’t repudiated on those grounds alone. He may make individual exceptions for people he knows well and respects (Ivanka, for example; maybe Omarosa), but as a whole, I don’t think he believes that many “others” are fundamentally deserving of fair and equal treatment or respect. Not only his words but also his actions show otherwise. For example: http://www.vox.com/2016/7/25/12270880/donald-trump-racism-history
      (and yes, I realize Vox is not the most neutral source, but the bullet-pointed lists are verifiable facts).

      1. I don’t think 50% of the votes were racist. Instead, I feel that anyone who voted for Trump condones his terrible behavior that encompasses marginalizing others, discriminating, mocking, etc. Even more than condoning the terrible behavior, it welcomes it.

        1. Does that go both ways? Everyone voting for Clinton condones everything she has ever done?

          1. I think there is a difference in core character behavior and making mistakes in the course of our professional (or in Hillary’s public) life. Hillary is not perfect, but she did not make me feel like she needed parenting to explain bullying or immature or offensive language.

          2. Great point.

        2. THIS. I don’t believe everyone who voted for trump is a racist, etc. in fact, I believe only a small fraction of his voters (note: “voters”, not “supporters”) agreed with the same type of hate-filled rhetoric trump spouted throughout his campaign (and before). I DO, however, believe that anyone who voted for him at the end of the day, condones his words and actions. They might not reflect your personal values in the slightest, but your vote says otherwise.

          1. Thank you. It seems like every trump supporter on here is standing loyally to republican values. I have no problem with that. But they are missing the larger point. A vote for trump is a vote that actively validates and endorses white nationalism. Plain and simple. Vote republican, vote pro life, vote against healthcare, even if I disagree. But to vote for hate, or support it. I will never understand.

      2. Key words
        I DONT THINK
        You didn’t say I know for certain he is a racist
        Illegal immigrants are not a race!
        I hope you never once in your life made a sexist comment or joke or even laughed at one. I hope you never in your life made a joke about or laughed at a joke about any other nationality including your own. I hope you never referred to someone by their color, like ” he can’t dance, he’s white” hahaha
        If you have ever done any of these things you are racist and sexist!! When you get tired of your soapbox step down to the rest of the population that will admit that many times in their lives they have made mistakes or were taken out of context or realized later that they shouldn’t have said or done what they may have.

        Take care to note that slamming a trump supporter is no different than a trump supporter slamming you. There is an entire country out there that many many many Americans have not experienced for themselves. Until you have walked in someone else’s shoes you do not know.
        Let the one that has not sinned cast the first stone.
        Good day

        1. Marge, you seem to see things in very black and white terms. Yes, people can make off-handed remarks, but not mean any harm and immediately apologize for them. Or they can say and do incredibly racist things throughout their life, publicly state them throughout their political campaign, double down when asked about them, and never apologize. And it’s not the same thing. I can’t believe you can’t understand the difference.

          And so it makes sense that people who are marginalized by the new president’s words and actions fear what policies he may implement to their detriment. How the tenor of his presidency could affect their lives and the lives of their children in very real ways. It’s not really comparable to a normal presidential loss bc Trump didn’t run a normal presidential campaign, one built on respect for all Americans but differing world views on how best to help the country. He ran as a demagogue. That’s just different.

          You’re right, voting for someone doesn’t necessarily mean endorsing everything they have ever done or believing they have never made mistakes. We’re all human, and politicians’ every actions are scrutinized for better or for worse. But for me, when I look at Clinton, I see a flawed but human person who I believe, in her core, tries to do the right thing in most circumstances (although she has certainly made some bad judgment decisions) and has spent her life sincerely trying to help people. When I see Trump, I see a morally bankrupt person who has no core guiding principles. It’s not that his views have shifted overtime, which can happen with wisdom and experience; it’s that they shift by the moment for political expedience. His only guiding principle is his own self-promotion and -aggrandizement. He marginalizes people, and he has demonstrated that he is willing to screw over anybody to line his pockets. So I, and many others, are upset that someone who we see as a fundamentally bad person has been elected president.

          1. Very well said Erica

        2. Marge, don’t you think we should hold the people running for the most powerful position in the world to a higher standard? Sure some ignorant kid I went to high school with maybe said ugly things in a locker room, but I’m sure not going to vote for him as president. You’re so quick to say “everyone’s said something like that” and I’m sure every human being has done or said things they regret, but did Trump ever seem remorseful for the hateful words that became his hallmark on the campaign trail? No. He just yelled even louder. This was not a one time thing where he misspoke. This is our president-elect showing his true colors time after time.

        3. Believe it or not, where I live people really do not make jokes that are racist, sexist or homophobic. If someone makes a comment that seems bigoted, one of the people listening will always point it out.

          We also have the strongest economy in the world, 2 of the worlds greatest universities, the largest concentration of Nobel Prize winners. We celebrate gay marriages, march in solidarity with Black Lives Matter and recycle. It’s a beautiful way to live.

      3. I’m so tired of hearing about racism and sexism and trumps terrible behavior as if trump is the only man or woman in the country to ever speak in such a way. I am bi-racial but look white. I am surrounded by racists who don’t know my color so feel free to speak their minds. I am atheist but support my friends who are Christian. They don’t know I’m atheist. They just assume I’m Christian. A few weeks ago many of us went out to dinner together. The first half of the dinner they discussed church activities, Christianity and their children. By the end of the night, they were cracking jokes about “Mexicans” and the woman were asking for protection from their husbands due to a Hispanic patron of the bar we were at. The men were rude and insulting and the women were cold and snobs. These educated, wealthy Christians couldn’t understand what he was saying. They said he was disgusting and creepy and needed to go back to his roofing job. I speak Spanish. He said they were beautiful and complimented them. I told him they were married and he said he just needed a friend and was glad I understood him. I introduced him to my husband (who welcomed him to our group) and then we wished him a good night because the rest of our crew did not welcome him. Later my husband told me that the men were criticizing him for not protecting me and not getting that guy away from me. He laughed it off saying he knew I could take care of myself. Did all of this change how I feel about my friends? No. I wasn’t even surprised because this happens to me all the time. I hope I’m making sense here!
        I voted for trump because even if he is all of those terrible things, he has the balls to be real about it. He doesn’t hide behind his faith or his business or a false smile. He says things millions of other people say but he doesn’t care that you know it. He’ll get shit done in this country and I believe he will help EVERYONE because he is NOT a career politician and has nothing to lose. I am not liberal but even if I were this educated, wealthy, bi-racial, vegan, atheist married mother of three would never vote for Hillary. She’s done far worse things than Trump in my opinion. And let’s remember that opinions are like assholes – just about everyone has one. I could say more but instead I’ll just say thank you, Emily for letting everyone vent here but I too prefer design over politics on your blog. Xo

        1. so in other words, emily, you are used to bad behavior from people and trump is just showing more bad behavior and he doesn’t have the sense to hide it so yay, let’s support that.

          Most people have higher expectations.

        2. Wow. I’m reeling with from your comment, your life, your friends. wow.

        3. Wow Emily – I am truly shocked at your narrative maybe because I’m a naïve Brit (living in the cosmopolitan multicultural city that is London with a mixed race son). As well as being a liberal, I am Christian and don’t recognise any of the above behaviour by your Christian friends as following Jesus’ commandment that we should “Love your neighbour as yourself”! As indeed, I definitely don’t see it in Trump (which is why am baffled that he is now American’s new President especially when so many Americans are deeply religious).

          As the Russian proverb says: A man is judged by his deeds, not by his words. Let’s hope that Trumps deeds don’t match his words.

    2. I think that your argument assumes that “racism” only means that someone has to think that all blacks or minorities are inferior. And by and large, I think that most of the Trump supporters truly don’t see themselves as racist because they have a black friend, or voted for Obama, etc. However, I think subconsciously (or consciously) many of those people see blacks, Muslims, Mexicans or other minorities as a whole as lesser people whose basic rights deserve less protection than their own. When they walk down the street and see someone with dark skin their immediate reaction is fear. Believing that a whole class of people are somehow inherently less trustworthy, capable or deserving of our compassion; or reluctantly accepting the despicable racist platform of Trump and some of his supporters because you believe it will be economically advantageous to you or somehow makes you safer IS racism, whether you want to acknowledge it or not.

      1. But EF, that’s pure tribalism, which is exactly my point. You’re arguing that *you* prefer to just live with Clinton’s flaws. Other people decided that *they* find it easier to just live with Trump’s flaws. That’s how elections work. Saying, “Well, I can take a nuanced approach, but anyone who votes for Trump necessarily condones everything he did” isn’t an argument. It’s a double standard.

  11. Emily I was with you all the way until you mentioned vaccinations. Not vaccinating children is dangerous, against science and, well, did I mention dangerous?! It is pure selfishness, and is actually causing diseases that had almost died out to surge again. To me, engaging with the other side of the debate is like engaging with climate change deniers. They are wilfully ignoring scientific fact because it is expedient for them.

    But yes, with you on being open minded about everything else 🙂

    1. There’s a difference between recognising that vaccination is good public health and “forced government vaccination”, which is what she mentioned. For example, not letting unvaccinated kids into public school isn’t forcing parents to vaccinate, its just saying parents who choose not to vaccinate also choose to remove their children from public school, which I think is good policy.

      For the record, my job is creating programs to get vaccines to kids in in accessible areas (wars, disasters, etc) and working on polio eradication, so to say I’m pro-vaccination would be an understatement.

      1. There isn’t just public school. There are several places where kids come in contact with other (potentially unvaccinated) kids. I’m open to anyone’s beliefs and opinions on any subject and truly support personal freedom, but your freedom ends when you are risking someone else’s life or health.
        So, unless you have valid health reasons not to be vaccinated, I believe you should be forced to get vaccinated. Yes, there are possible negative consequences (less than 1 in a million), but the health of the whole population of the Country has to come first.

        I don’t live in the USA, but we are experiencing the same trend of kids getting ill because their parents thought they did not have to be vaccinated, or because they could not be vaccinated and some unvaccinated kid infected them. Sometimes they die. It is heartbreaking.

    2. Agreed, K! Facts are facts. Climate change is real and vaccinations save lives, especially of those most vulnerable (with NO scientific evidence that they cause autism). As a fellow liberal, I LOVED this post and your decision to ask for the opinions of those who did not support Hillary. You have kept an open mind and heart and are hearing the other side, which is more than most people have done. Bravo.

    3. Seconded! I’ve read everything on this topic and if you’re not vaccinating, you’re not just harming your children, you are harming other people’s children, period. This topic is a great example of how liberals can be science-deniers – not just conservatives.

      1. Listen, I knew by using the V word that it would incite commenters. I vaccinate my kids and I believe that everyone should, but I don’t think the government should ever force a parent to to do something physically to their baby that they don’t want to do. I also don’t believe you get to be ‘hands off my body’ sometimes but not others. But I truly believe that it is a safer and better choice for the child and the greater good.

    4. Exactly, well said K!

  12. Love this post, my thoughts exactly!

  13. Thank you Emily, because of your blog post yesterday and the hundreds of civil and thoughtful, yet passionate comments by your readers, I have been able to make some sense of and better understand the results of Tuesday’s election. As a matter of fact I got more from “listening” to your readers than from nearly any other source. As a country we have much work to do, yet nothing can be accomplished if we don’t listen to and try to understand the thoughts and ideas of others. Peaceful discourse, discussion, solution generation and compromise are a step in this direction. By allowing us to make our voices heard, you gave us a start. Again, Thank You.

    1. I found yesterday’s post really helpful too. It was good to hear Trump supporters’ reasoning from their own words in a measured way.

  14. Clapping.

  15. HI Emily,
    This is very well written. I can’t say enough how I appreciate a reasonable approach to liberalism being shared AS well as the space yesterday to safely share conservative points of view. It has helped me understand a little bit more.

    I can’t speak to all of the topics, but specifically on the part about people being innately selfish with our resources, I had a thought. I hear your heart and a share your heart in a lot of things you brought up about LOVING PEOPLE. I deeply care about people as well – I think that’s a shared view of both parties as a whole (I can’t speak on the people who don’t give a rip about their fellow man. That’s not a political alignment, that’s just a bad attitude and mindset.), but we approach it differently. I personally don’t want the government handling all the resources and handing them out as they see fit. I want to collect my own resources and give them out as I see fit. I think about your Sylvia. The gift you gave her was AMAZING. Target didn’t take your cash and then go in with an unknown crew to redecorate her home and then leave. YOU went. YOU took YOUR resources. YOU did the work. YOU were elbow to elbow, heart to heart with the recipient of your gift. THAT’s whats beautiful. What a more wonderful experience to give that way than to have a little paycheck taken off the top and never know WHO (individually!) it goes to.

    Yes, we are innately selfish and care only about ourselves. You are SO RIGHT. (I am Christ-follower, so I use Him as my example. I must ignore my selfish desires and be like him. He gave his life, so I need not fret about giving a little cash-flow, etc. That’s a whole different topic entirety, but just wanted to state that that’s where I’m coming from.) We automatically DO care about ourselves, but we don’t have to STAY there. It makes it more do-able to hand over funds to the government and let them handle things, yes. But, it helps so much more when we’re’ all together doing the work ourselves. How do we get to that place, I do not know. Because it is SORELY lacking. But, part of my conservative views is that I don’t think the “fix” is big government. I’m even more open to LOCAL governments doing more in this area and federal government doing less because of the diversity of needs. But, I can also challenge myself to make one more dinner for someone, to invite one more person in need into my home, to help one more person fill out job applications, or use my computer to do so because they don’t have one of their own…the list goes on.

    I hope that makes sense. I’m not articulate and I’m in the process of cooking (burning) breakfast and getting kids out the door for (public!) school. 🙂

    1. I love your comment and totally appreciate it and you. I think that you are a really good person. You are like my parents who are so conservative and say no to spending on social programs but spend their weekends helping an elderly person move or sewing quilts for Katrina victims. You are not the norm and we can’t actually rely on this to help the greater good. Individuals in certain communities can and will be the lucky recipients of your christianity, but unfortunately its not widespread enough for me to guarantee it. I look at my countries that have socialized governments as inspiration. Every person makes less, but the greater good is rich.

      1. Thank you for your kind comments and your continued poise and graciousness. It’s refreshing. 🙂

        1. JB, crying. we disagree politically but you seem wonderful. thank you for all you do.

          1. Monica, you’re sweet. Thanks for taking the time to say that. It means a lot, for real. 🙂

    2. JB: This is a wonderful, refreshing perspective to bring to this discussion as a Conservative and human being. I wish I could be so confident in the greater good. I hope those you impact in your community pay the kindness forward.

      I’m still struggling to answer the questions I’ve been asking myself since Wednesday: ‘How can I be open-minded to a man that is such a blatant misrepresentation of the person I am AND the person I strive to be? How do I confidently represent myself and my country when I have no respect for the man at the helm?’

      As a Hillary supporter, I wrote her campaign a note Wednesday morning. I wish the outcome had been different. I wish I had done more. I received a response today. Did everyone else receive the same response to their e-mail? Probably. The response encouraged her supporters to get involved at the lower level- local government, development initiatives, etc.

      I am SO lucky to work for a company that celebrates diversity, equality, community. I am involved in our Women’s Leadership Initiative and after today’s e-mail I intend to find other programs to participate in. Is it enough? No. I wish it was that simple. I’m still working on the answer to my first question (like…really hard). However, I’m feeling slightly more resilient in the face of, what I believe to be, this election’s misfortune. I will fight like hell at the lower level to ensure my actions represent what I want for our country-equality, empathy and kindness. While the Clinton campaign and JB may share different political beliefs, their messages instilled the idea that individual contribution is SOMETHING… and maybe all I will be able to find solace in the next four years.

      Emily: I am so glad I found this post sooner than later. If political spirit animals exist; you are mine 🙂 Thank you SO much for sharing.

    3. It is very easy to see where the little bit of your paycheck goes. It’s actually what you DON’T see. Being poor in America is nothing like being poor in the rest of the world. Because of social programs that we all pay for, we don’t see children starving and barefoot on the street. We don’t see masses of people living in houses made from scraps. We don’t see millions of people dying from preventable diseases. Any day I would give a little bit of my pay check to reduce the poverty and illness of fellow Americans and humans.

  16. I spent the day crying over Skype with my sister yesterday because we failed as humans. Trump with Nukes?!? Great job, America. But then I work up today and read your posts and realized, I am that same person today. You are the same person today. Our family is that very same family. Our core values are still our values. We can still fight for the weak, the marginalized, the ones without a voice. We can still do what we know is right. We can find the people that are doing good work and support them. It will be harder but we can still make a difference.

  17. I didn’t really want to vote for either (although the thought of someone as inept as Trump being elected made me feel sick). I have voted for Republicans and Democrats in the past, but lean Democratic. I spent the days leading up to the election reading as much as I could about their prospective policies, and I came to the conclusion that I aligned more with Hilary.

    Hilary is not blameless, but the more I dug, the more I was convinced that jumping aboard the “Hilary the Liar” train was misguided. Most of the accusations surrounding her are based more on conspiracy theory and exaggeration than fact.

    I also found so much of the support for Trump to shallow.
    1. I don’t believe he is doing this because he just wants to make America better. Come on! He loves the spotlight and the power!
    2. Political outsider? Not politically correct? Whatever he was before the election has changed now. The perfect example was his acceptance speech- so PC and nice!
    3. Using misguided fear as a tool. I live in Germany and whenever I visit home people ask me if I feel safe, because of all the terrorism attacks and refugees living in Europe. Actually, Europe is SAFER than the US. The number of illegal immigrants coming into the US has decreased/stagnated since the recession.

    So, yeah, I was undecided but found Trump to be smoke and mirrors.

    On a side note, I find the passive aggressive comments of “do your research” coming from both sides to be really interesting. I work in the health education field, and half of my profession is fighting false information found online about medicine.

    1. I loved your comment. Thank you. I will say regarding your last sentence that the media really screwed this one. I looked long and hard for bi-partisan information from a reliable source and it was impossible. I know that the internet has killed old school journalism (and I realize the irony in me saying this) but they need to do a way better job of reporting the facts and not the opinions. Huffington Post, Slate I’m looking at you. You are full of liberal hate and I’m so over it. Please give me facts with an intelligent analysis of them, not snarky titles.

      1. Factcheck.org, Snopes, there are many sites that strive to be neutral.

      2. Politifact. It’s entire basis is to dig out between the rhetoric and tell you the truth. No matter the person or party.

      3. No Agenda podcast always do deep research and give real analysis, and being ad-free they are not compromised like all the other sources.

      4. Journalism still exists out there. It’s really scary how people have been manipulated to automatically distrust the news. Here is a list of the most awarded newspapers across red and blue states:

        Dallas Morning News, The Washington Post, New York Times, Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, Denver Post, Los Angeles Times, St. Petersburg Times, Chicago Tribune

        Not a single one endorsed Trump, not because he was Republican or Conservative or an outsider — purely because he shows a lack of discipline and self-control that scares the world.

      5. When learning about their respective policies, I went directly to their websites. This was less straight-forward with Trump since he has been all over the place the last 18 months.

        I like fivethirtyeight.com.
        I also went to NPR and Glenn Beck, just to get a little range of opinion.

    2. The smoke and mirrors – I agree much with your comment.

      I do not think when Trump decided to run that he thought he would actually win. And as he gained momentum, I found it hard to hear any sincerity in his politics. I didn’t believe his words at all; he didn’t believe his words.
      After he won the the nomination, I saw a lot of media’s guilt. I saw the media realize what they did – they gave him such a stage, they created this.

      I have a 4 and 1 year old. I didn’t do a good job hiding Trump from my 4 year old and he had a lot of questions about the election why he was so “grumpy”. (He calls him Donald Frump, which I never correct) One day when he came home from preschool, he said “If you play too rough, you’re called pussy”. I know, horrific sentence. This was soon after the Access Hollywood bus tape came out. Now, I questioned him more and it turns out my son meant “pushy”, but that’s when it hit me. I had to consider the fact he heard that word from that man on the news. This man is being seen by kids who think he’s a leader, in fact, he has been elected our leader. And since the election I have not watched the news. I don’t want my son to learn that being a name calling bully can win that job.

      I can’t wait to see which celebrity runs in 2020.

  18. I voted for Hillary because her policies make sense to me and she had a PLAN. She is smart. I have met her and her one on one interaction are warmth, thoughtful. She is a really good listener. I think that is lost when she talks to big crowds (i think thats why she chose to have a more intimate concession speech so America could see the more intimate Hillary. She wanted to show us how hurt she was and encourage us to continue on). Lots of people don’t like her for this caricature that has been created of her. As a person, she is deeply caring, passionate, smart and she has a plan. She is a doer and a listener, not a talker. I can get behind that 100%.

    1. I have a feeling you are right but we didn’t get to see it and that is so sad.

  19. I am liberal and I voted for Clinton and I love what you’ve said in your post but I can’t help but think that it should be our jobs as Americans to be open-minded, not just as liberals. It’s only when we are all thinking in this way that we can truly move forward as a nation working toward positive change for everyone.

    1. Agreed! It’s not just on liberals to try to be more understanding and empathetic. It’s on ALL of us.

    2. I agree and I found that wording to be a good representation of the “holier than thou” attitude that a lot of americans/republicans sense from the left. (Of course Emily didn’t mean it this way but it’s a good point to learn from.)

      I previously identified as a democrate. I voted Obama two elections in a row but this year, I just couldn’t stay true to party. Partially because I don’t trust Clinton (not that I trust trump) but partially because im sick of the left calling anyone who doesn’t agree with them undereducated/racist/sexist/privalaged/unsymathetic/bigots.

      We All need to work to unify and understand each other. Ideally without labeling and belittling each other in the process.

      These kinds of open dialogs are a great start!!! She’s right, we can do this!!!!

      1. OK, I agree that no one likes to be talked down to. But don’t you see that you have just elected Trump who has repeatedly stood in front of crowds and said things that are:


        and y’all voted for him, so I can only conclude that you agree with what he had to say.

  20. Hi Emily,

    Although I am assuming it’s just a saying, I find the sentence “Let’s prevent the crime, not blame the criminal” written in relation to abortion incredibly shoking. Abortion is not a crime – at least, not in the US or in most European countries, where it’s a right. Women who get abortions are not criminals. Maybe there is a more relevant metaphore out there that will convey your idea better than this ill-fitted one?

    1. I agree.

    2. I think Emily used those terms because that is how Trump talks about abortion. He thinks it should be a crime and the woman should be punished.

      1. It was just a bad metaphor that I deleted. I definitely don’t feel its a crime, I just meant prevent the problem instead of blaming people afterwards.

  21. You are not for equality for all…you forgot the most helpless, vulnerable and dependent off all… babies still dependent in their mother’s womb. Nothing justifies killing them, no need on our part is more important than a baby’s, beautiful life. Their tiny little heart begins beating at just 18 days of conception. The fight for the right to take a babies life is the opposite of love.

    Your argument that there is not adequate contraception/prevention available implies woman have no self control or responsibility for themselves. We do. We have the right to abstain or use birth control. Birth control is free or has a very minimal cost.

    The pro-choice believe that a baby is “disposable”, “a choice” is heart breaking. Babies are the greatest gift in the world… at least to many of us.

    The loving, responsible, strong woman puts the needs of her child before her needs/wants. She is willing to carry her unplanned child to term and give that child a chance for an amazing, beautiful life with loving adoptive parents.

    1. Thank you for saying this, Charlotte!! I couldn’t agree more!

    2. Abortion is a huge, important, thorny issue. It is not the only issue. I’d like to respectfully challenge you to explain why the rights of an unborn baby – a baby who may not live to term, a baby whose parents may not be able to care for it, a baby possibly conceived through rape – are more important than the rights of millions of people who have been attacked and maligned by Trump’s racism and misogyny. I’m not trying to be argumentative – I just genuinely don’t understand this viewpoint.

      Also – in the spirit of bursting our political bubbles and hearing from different viewpoints – I’d challenge you to watch this video that explains the economic theory that the national crime rate dropped dramatically after abortion was legalized.


      1. Yes Emma!!!! Agree

    3. It’s so unfair that women take all the responsibility here. What about the man? Did you mention men at all? What about rape? What about pregnancies that endanger the life of the mother?

    4. But the argument most-pro-choice people are saying that most women want to carry their baby to term. It’s when the baby absolutely will not survive outside of the womb, or mom will perish carrying a dead infant to term because the baby didn’t survive inside the womb, those are the cases that we are pushing for understanding on. Those are the heart-breaking circumstances that no one wants the government to tell you that you have to force your child to die painfully outside of the womb, instead of comfortably on the inside. Or that mom has to die to birth or carry an already dead baby.

      Should abortions not be allowed in those cases? To say no to all abortions is to say no to these cases.

      1. exactly. exactly. exactly.

      2. 1) I heard a statistic promoted by Planned Parenthood that 1 in 3 women will receive an abortion. I’ve also heard Planned Parenthood claim they want abortions to be rare. 1 in 3 women is not rare. And there is absolutely no way 1 in 3 women or even 1 in 3 pregnant women are in a crisis pregnancy. Rape pregnancies, ill babies, or a pregnancy threatening to the life of the mother are extremely extremely rare. These are not the reasons women are getting abortions. Even EHD states that NO ONE wants an abortion, but that is the opposite of the movement I’ve seen in the last year, particularly after the sting CMP videos of Planned Parenthood came out. With hashtags like #shoutyourabortion and various truthful and direct articles put out by pro-choice women of the left: they believe simply that not all life is equal (which seems to me a direct contradiction of liberal values). Not all life is equal, and the life of the mother (her hopes, dreams, happiness) simply trump the life of the baby inside her. That’s the truth and there should be no stigma to say so.
        2) Abortions are not used to save a mother’s life. In cases where the mother’s life is at risk, a c-section is the safest quickest option for both mother and baby. An abortion does not even make sense as it is a long drawn out process that depending on how far along the pregnancy is may take up to two days. If an abortion is chosen it is not to save the mother’s life. It is simply to end the life of the baby.
        3) Lastly I want to address your claim that the baby dies ‘comfortably on the inside’. How do you know? Why would you assume it does not feel pain (when in fact, studies prove otherwise)? In all my ultrasounds the baby kicks back when he/she is prodded with that probe. I always assumed it was because he/she was made uncomfortable and he was fighting back. How much more so if some person/object is taking direct measures to threaten his life?
        4) Oh, and lastly lastly, I do have an opinion about pregnancies due to rape, which I’m willing to address, maybe separately, as I don’t want to detract from the things I mentioned above.

        1. Michele,
          That 1 in 3 number was from a study done in 1994. The current numbers appears to be about 17 out of 1,000 women will have an abortion in 2016. Check the Politifact site here: http://www.politifact.com/texas/statements/2016/jan/19/wendy-davis/flawed-wendy-davis-claim-1-3-women-has-had-abortio/.
          Like Emily said, no one wants to have an abortion and if we had easier access to birth control and better education we wouldn’t have nearly as many unintended/unwanted pregnancies. I don’t believe women have abortions because they want to, or because they made bad choices, or were too lazy to get birth control. I know for a fact that whatever the circumstances, it is a gut wrenching decision not made lightly, because I had one.

        2. My daughter would have died if she had had a C section, she nearly died anyway. She has a husband and 2 children who need her, not to mention the rest of us who love and need her. Please don’t imagine you know what she went through.

    5. Charlotte – can you expand your commentary to include pregnancy as a result of rape or incest? I’m interested to hear how a pregnancy like that factors into your statement re: women having self control and responsibility for themselves, as well as being willing to carry the unplanned child to term. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

    6. Mistakes happen Charlotte. Also rapes happen, and plenty of other things. I find it interesting that most (but not all republicans) want to cut down on social services and all the other things that help women who have chosen to have the baby, but they still want those women to have the child.

      So which one is it?

      1. I did not vote for Trump or Hillary, but I am pro-life. I understand the emotional stress of such a decision and I do not take it lightly, but the essence of the pro-life argument is that “if it is a child then there is no justification is adequate for killing it. If it’s not, then no justification is necessary.” I do believe it’s a child. From the earliest stages, the fetus has its own DNA that is distinct from the mother, so it’s not the mother’s body. If it’s not the mother’s body, what is it? A parasite? If it has human DNA, then it’s a human.

        Think about it this way. Apply any rationale for abortion to a baby who has already born. The baby is a product of rape. Should we terminate it because of that? The child has a disability. Should we terminate it because of that? The parents aren’t ready to have children. Should we terminate the baby because of that? Of course there are other arguments like life of the mother (which is a little different since if the mother dies, so does the child if it’s not viable.) But would a mother give her life for her child?

        Pro-life crisis pregnancy centers in the U.S. far outnumber planned parenthoods. They typically don’t offer birth-control (to my knowledge), but they do a great deal of pregnancy care, classes, counseling, adoption and material support among other things. So the narrative that pro-life people only forbid abortion, but do nothing to help the mother is a not reality.

        Thanks for the forum for reasonable open discussion.

        1. I appreciate your comment but until these pro-life centers give out free and convenient preventative measures (education and access via the pill), then I’m not even addressing this issue.

          1. Emily, I am a member of what I THINK (hope) is becoming the new generation of conservatives. I agree with you completely on this. I don’t think we can ban abortion without actively providing alternatives that prevent the “necessity” of it. (Also, as an aside, the news circulating about why the male birth control pill was shelved just makes me SO MAD.) As both the Democratic and Republican parties undergo dramatic shifts in the next few years, I hope that the Republicans learn that thumping bibles without providing alternative solutions is NOT a platform. I feel the same way about drugs but that’s a whoooole ‘nother can of worms. (!)

      2. YES! Where are the programs to support a mother through her unwanted pregnancy? Prenatal care/checkups? Post-natal care if the baby has trouble breast-feeding or the mother suffers from post-partum depression? Childcare? School supplies? Food? Clothes? College funding? The contradiction is maddening!

        1. Please don’t lump all pro-lifers together. Our local pregnancy center offers free ultrasound, one free Dr. visit, prenatal concelling, and adoption referrals. If the Mom decides to keep the baby we provide diapers, clothes, blankets, etc. on a point system earned by attending parenting classes, volunteering at the center, etc. Handing out government money does not promote effective parenting, lending a hand goes a long way.

          1. That all sounds really lovely, but none of what you said provides prevention tactics or education. You HAVE to help girls not get pregnant, not just help them with their unwanted children.

      3. really great point.

    7. “Birth control is free or is a minimal cost”…because of the Affordable Care Act. Which Trump and other pro-life republicans want to get rid of, as well as Planned Parenthood which also offers free/low cost birth control. Also, it’s quite unfair if you to say that “loving, strong, responsible” woman put the baby before themself – so, if a woman’s health is in jeopardy due to pregnancy, she is none of those things if she makes the hard decision for abortion — TO SAVE HER LIFE — or, she should go forward because she is “loving, responsible and strong” and possible DIE? This is so offensive.

      1. Birth control is not over the counter yet, therefore I’m still not having a pro-life/pro-choice conversation. Until it is over the counter, where women can go in grab some milk and the pill then this conversation is dead to me. No pun intended. Setting young girls up to fail is not a game i’m interested in playing.

        1. “Setting girls up to fail is not a game I’m interested in playing.”

          Very wise words. Thank you, Emily.

        2. Really really admire your words, candor, and strength, Emily. Classy and strong. Wonderful combination. Thank you thank you.

        3. This is great point that is often left out of the conversation. Thank you.

        4. Ok, I’m very late here, but I really don’t understand this. Birth control in the form of condoms, which also prevent disease, are easily, cheaply, and widely available. I can purchase them in all of the places I can buy milk. I actually don’t think that selling hormonal birth control OTC is a good idea. Hormonal birth control is NOT risk free. It should only be dispensed under a doctor’s care bc some people cannot take it for various medical reasons. I can’t agree with compromising the health of women. I do agree we need more sex Ed, and more access to health care. I just don’t get your argument that the birth control pill needs to be OTC. Again, condoms are OTC and they prevent disease as well as pregnancy.

        5. I’m turning 30 years old next month and I feel like I’m still the young girl who was set up to fail. I am being forced to play this game by simply existing in this culture. Women are not equal; we cannot “be anything you want to be” like our parents told us when we were young; we are oppressed on the street by strangers, at work by our co-workers, and now by the President Elect of the United States. I have never felt more discouraged to be a woman than watching Trump win the election.
          I appreciate you saying this isn’t a game you are interested in playing, but as women: we are being forced to play every day.
          I have really learned a lot from reading the comments on each of your political posts, but in a way it’s made me more afraid that things will never change because how steadfast each side is behaving.

    8. Thank you, Charlotte! I’m a liberal on every issue except this one. I’m totally with you on this topic. I cannot bring myself to vote Republican because I don’t agree with any of their other stances, but I feel guilt over this issue because I am pro-life. I agreed with Emily’s description of a liberal and the whole “greater good” or equality over freedom thing, but I was just waiting for this topic to come up in her post. The thing about the conservative view on this topic that I have an issue with that you say women shouldn’t have abortions (I agree), but then you don’t want to pay higher taxes to provide the social safety nets to support the women who were not prepared to care for a baby. It doesn’t make any sense.
      I feel like no party aligns with my beliefs.
      Oh, and the main reason I cannot vote Republican is that I have not yet seen one Republican politician or policy that is pro-environment. This is one of the BIGGEST issues we face, and it is being ignored.

    9. I don’t think a baby is disposable or merely a choice. But the idea that I would pick a president to run the most powerful country on earth based solely on this one issue is insane. Get involved with supporting pregnant women if those are your beliefs, but leave the running of the entire country to people with real qualifications to deal with issues of trade, finance and infrastructure.

  22. I voted for HIllary because I believed that she would make our country a better place. I had so much hope for the next four years…its hard to imagine how it will be now.
    She is smart and thoughtful and I couldn’t have been more excited about a candidate. I wanted her to win the nomination when she ran against Obama, and that didn’t happen. I admired her when she was First Lady and thought she would make a great president back then.
    I had no idea I would be overcome with a sadness so big and heavy the day after the election. By the way, being a blogger, I did not join in the fray of personal opinion. I quietly waited my turn to use my voice and my vote….but I guess others quietly waited as well. Hoping for the best, but not having any expectations of what is to come.

  23. Your 2nd paragraph says it all. If you believe that – and the Democrats have been basically in the majority for the last couple dozen years to do just that – and FAILED – then why not try something new? I just moved out of Nebraska – the heartland – and I believe the entire middle of country believes as you do – but our government has failed us for so long – that people were desperate to mix things up. Remember, we’ve been kicking out incumbents in Congress for over 12 years now in the hopes of better legislation – and that didn’t work, so people felt they better go straight to the top.

    1. The claim of “change” just rings so false when Congress is still run by Republicans. If you really wanted change, why did you vote in the EXACT same Congress that has gotten zero done in the last 8 years? The president doesn’t govern alone and obstructionism in Congress was a fundamental problem during the Obama administration.

      1. This times 1000. The Republicans have the stage now…so interesting to see what “the Washington outsider” will bring in as his anti-establishment cabinet? We heard “drain the swamp” so many times during this election, I know libs will certainly be watching to make sure it’s not just filled back up again with the swamp water from the other side. And I hope his supporters will be watching just as closely for him to make good on that promise, b/c from what we heard, overturning the Washington machine is why they voted for him.

  24. This is so so good! My feelings too.

  25. When Obama won his first election I was very upset but I certainly did not riot in the street or act out as we are seeing now. Let’s remember that we have a Congress and checks and balances that keep control of what the President can and cannot do. That is why Mr. Obama used executive order to accomplish his ideas. We need to get this country back on track and make it great again. Let’s give Mr. Trump the same support we gave Mr. Obama and work together to bring our nation back.

    1. People are in the streets because they believe Trump and Rs are going to remove their rights. They believe this because Trump and the Rs have made this a cornerstone of their platform. If Obama had said his goal was to fill the Supreme Court with justices that would repeal the 2nd amendment then you can be sure there would be demonstrations.

      If people want to demonstrate I am all for it, whoever you are.

      The majority of the voters voted for Hillary and if people want to fill the streets to remind Trump of that and to show him who he will remove rights from, so be it. It’s frustrating to hear the word “mandate” and “wave” when Trump didn’t even win the popular vote and didn’t even get as many votes as Romney or McCain.

    2. I’m not really sure Obama got all that much support. Not sure where you have been living for the past 8 years.

      What you call riots, I call protests. Do a tiny minority of those people get out of control yes, but that happens in every large mass gathering. For instance when the Giants won the World Series: http://www.sfgate.com/crime/article/S-F-picks-up-the-pieces-after-raucous-Giants-5858132.php

      Also executive order counts for you:
      George H. W. Bush 166
      Bill Clinton 364
      George W. Bush 291
      Barack Obama 235
      Ronald Reagan 381
      Jimmy Carter 320

  26. Thank you Emily. I have read your blog for years and always felt a connection to your writing. I love the way you present your point of view. Always with respect, and bravery. We have so much to learn from each other. I hope you will continue to use this platform to engage your readers on issues that resonate with you so strongly. Whether the subject is design, parenting, or even something as controversial as politics…. I sincerely look forward to continuing to hear what you have to say.

  27. So well said Emily, I’m glad you are finding peace with this situation, I am trying. Oh God, am I trying, but I can’t stop crying. I’m not even someone who cries often, I am just so devastated. Hate won yesterday. His campaign was built on hate and he won. I voted for Hillary because I aligned with her on social issues (marriage equality, women’s rights, etc) and because I know she is a good person who cares about America and doing what is right. I was so looking forward to having a progressive female president that my daughter could look up to, instead we are left with a vile, offensive, narcissist that ran a campaign that was blatantly designed to appeal to white-nationalists. Every day I will be working towards feeling more optimistic, but for now, I’m devastated.

    1. I’ve commented too much on this blog already today and I need to quit. But, please, PLEASE don’t believe that Trump voters voted because we’re HATEFUL. That’s not the case. So much was said on the post yesterday – i implore you to read it all. I have thick skin, but I have continually heard, “trump supporters are racist and hateful” and it’s wearing me down. We aren’t… we just AREN’T. There are so many factors that played into my choice and not one. single. one. of them had to do with hating or being afraid of or wanting harm to come to ANY any human being in this country.

      1. I don’t believe I said that “all Trump supporters are racist and hateful,” and I don’t believe that they are. I did read yesterdays post; I wasn’t in a position to comment yesterday because I was literally sick. Sick to my stomach. My kids are scared, their friends who are mostly immigrants and muslim are scared because they don’t feel they are welcome here anymore. So people can say “I was worried about the Supreme Court,” or “Washington is broken,” or whatever other reason you had for voting for Trump and that’s fine. We live in a democracy, and I am grateful for that. But, the president-elect scares my children, and for that reason I am devastated.

        1. It’s a relief to hear you don’t believe that all Trump supporters are racist and hateful. Thank you for your clarification.

        2. That is so sad. Our kids are too young to get it. I’m so sorry.

        3. My sons preschool 3-4 year olds had a hard time Wednesday. I think a lot of young kids got more exposure to the election then normal because many mothers wanted to vote with their children in what was hoped to be an historic moment/first female president. My three year old Was visibly sad and then said “it’s ok mommy next time we will just get more people to vote for Hillary.” His attitude of hope and focus on the future even though he doesn’t really aware of what he was saying saved my husband and I. We also wrote a letter to Trump asking him to be kind and “very please may you be nice to people” and sent it to the White House.

    2. JB, I think many liberals believe voting for an openly racist and homophobic platform is itself an act of violence, and anathema with a claim of wanting togetherness, or claiming to not be hateful.

      1. My vote was not an act of violence.

    3. She didn’t say that all the supporters have hate; she said his campaign was built on hate, and it was, it’s a fact. The words out of his mouth factually prove this. Not all his supporters have hate like he does, but they chose to vote for him despite it.

    4. JB, I don’t think you intended your vote to be inherently an act of violence – but I hope you can understand this sentiment. If Trump had said, “When JB’s family sends its people, they’re not sending their best. They’re not sending you. They’re not sending you. They’re sending people that have lots of problems, and they’re bringing those problems with them. They’re bringing drugs. They’re bringing crime. They’re rapists. And some, I assume, are good people,” you might feel differently.

      Ultimately, Trump ran a campaign full of hateful and scapegoating rhetoric. Therefore, many folks see a vote for him as immoral (e.g. better to vote for no one than to vote for someone who demonizes your fellow Americans). You may not agree, but I don’t think it’s hard to understand (and I don’t think some introspection from the left as to why the most hate-based campaign in modern memory had such wide appeal is a bad thing, either).

      1. Tracy, thank you for saying this. Because when Trump said those words, I heard: “When Lisa’s family sends its people, they’re not sending their best. They’re not sending you.”

        So, I’m going to say this as a Mexican-American and as a child of immigrants- please understand that the pain that I and many other people of color are experiencing is real. Although I consider myself an American first, have a high degree of education, and contribute to American society, Trump made me feel like a second class citizen.

        I am working hard to get over my fear, to sooth my pain, and to see hope. I know that not all Trump supporters are racists, but, on election day, I learned that they were willing to tolerate racism. I’m not saying that they endorsed racism. But I am saying that they were willing to vote in spite of Trump’s words. That is painful to me.

        To those who will be quick to point out that illegal immigrants are not a race and, therefore, Trump was not being racist- please remember that in his speech he did not refer to illegal immigrants once. His words were about Mexicans. Here is a link to the speech transcript: http://blogs.wsj.com/washwire/2015/06/16/donald-trump-transcript-our-country-needs-a-truly-great-leader/

  28. So well said! I am an independent (formerly a republican), but am proud to call myself a liberal. Like your international readers, I am shocked that guns are so important, even though I grew up on a ranch and was trained to use them. Very few people truly NEED a gun. However, everyone NEEDS healthcare (and birth control choices) and food and shelter. In many ways it is a fundamental misunderstanding between our very divided country. I am also dismayed that so many people dismiss science, whether it is vaccines or climate change. I was proud to vote for Hillary, but honestly worried that she would spend most of her time in office defending herself against the onslaught of hearings and accusations that nothing would get done. It will be interesting to see if Trump can truly help the forgotten, or whether it will be more tax breaks for the rich.

    1. Helping the “forgotten” people is not even on Trump’s radar. He got what he wanted out of those voters, and now they can wait for the payoff just like those carpenters, roofers and plumbers have been waiting to be paid after building Trump properties.

  29. Thank you for both of these posts Emily. As a long time reader of the blog, it makes my heart really happy to read kind and empathetic comments from all types of voters. That’s the kind of America I am proud to be a part of.

  30. I’m a classical liberal. This means I believe in letting people be free. For all this noble talk about equality and fairness, in the end, socialism just empowers and enriches a few people at the expense of the majority. How do people like the Clintons and like Eric Cantor (for a “r” example) get so rich when government is pretty much the only jobs they’ve every had? The sell power and influence to other rich people.

    Also, did you notice that we’re $20 trillion in debt? That doesn’t include unfunded liablities (mostly public pensions – which is well, well above the $20 t figure) we can’t pay that off. It’s going to ruin us! Our poor kids! I’m so worried for them!

    Do I like Donald Trump as a leader? NO! How you feel right now – this is how I felt when he became my party’s nominee. But I don’t want the democrats to continue the policies and trends of the Obama administration. I want government supporting free enterprise, not confiscating my hard earned money to ‘redistribute’ it. I don’t want government to take over my healthcare dollars and decisions. I don’t want government to tell me what to eat or how I’m supposed to think about things. I don’t want to be walking on eggshells all the time afraid that if I say something wrong to some hyper sensitive person, that my life will be turned upside down!

    Also, I’m concerned that too many of our powerful leaders are ‘above the law’. They can break laws, or just pass laws so that they’re exempt from the laws the force on us. Its a bad trend. Hillary did break the law, and the feds have prosecuted and jailed other people for doing similar things – and some of those people had no intent either.

    I don’t like Trump. But I do think he’ll get more ‘oversight’ than Hillary would have from the media, congress, etc. And I pray that he rises to this occasions.

    1. I keep seeing people talk about how Trump will be overseen or controlled by others and hopefully that’s true, but the one place that is definitely not true is Nuclear War. I’ve seen a lot of Trump supporters say that congress has to approve war, but that’s not true when it comes to nuclear. We have a nuclear deterrent system if the US is ever attacked with nuclear the president has the authority on his own to retaliate. He has the ability to do that within 12 minutes at all times without the need for an attack to actually have taken place. No one can stop him and there is no oversight. Trump has repeatedly shown no understand of our nuclear policy.

    2. This is exactly how I feel.

    3. I have to roll my eyes at a fear of offending some over-sensitive person (and the constant conservative talk about the ‘PC Police’ ruining our freedoms). This seems like the tiniest problem imaginable in a world where black people are being shot by actual police, where most women I know have experienced sexual harassment and assault. That you might offend someone and have to engage in a respectful dialog? The horror!

      I’ll never forget being at a work function and my boss, the head of my whole department, saying at a work event when we were looking at pictures of a coworker’s new baby girl, that he was so happy he only had sons. Why? someone in our group of 3 women and 2 men said. Because, he said, my male friends with daughters have said that they can’t look at porn the same way after they have a daughter, because they see the women as people! All our jaws dropped, and I said, So, what are we if not people? And he says, “ooooh, sorry, didn’t know the PC police were here!”

      I think many of us who have been accused of being “PC” have had the same experience of being completely minimized while simply asking about absurd, obscene and offensive statements. If you make a fool of yourself, you deserve to be called on it. I am a-ok with people doing the same to me – when they have, I’ve learned something, even if we don’t end up agreeing.

      1. Roll your eyes all you wish, but I know people at work are afraid of saying something and ending up in HR with their job in jeopardy.

    4. hey – you say you’re a liberal but are describing conservative fiscal policy. sounds like you’re a conservative?

  31. I couldn’t have said it better than Mika did in her comments or Emily did in this post. Here are some other things I’m puzzling-out after the shock of this election: (FYI – I’m an Independent & had Dems, Republicans, & Green Party candidates on my ballot this year)

    I can understand Americans, especially the ones who feel “left behind”, wanting change in government, wanting an “outsider”…but here’s the thing…IMHO Donald Trump has always been a power-hungry elitist, not an “ordinary American middle-class citizen” so HOW do folks think he can relate to “our” struggles? Has Trump ever had to look at two large bills coming due and try to decide which one to pay or whether to ask for help from family/friends to pay for both? I doubt it!

    I am wondering if Hillary’s defeat was less about “her” and more about Obama. Whether we want to believe it or not, there is still a white supremacy faction in the US. I wonder how much of this came into play…folks still angry that our nation elected an African-American President would easily be caught up in someone like Trump. Even if white supremacy wasn’t behind this HRC defeat, there are many, many white men who are threatened and upset about women in powerful positions. I wonder if these groups are the “blind-side” votes of this election?

    I voted for Hillary (even knowing that she has some skeletons in her closet) because I knew she was capable of handling the intricacies of The Presidency. I voted for Hillary because I don’t want to see lost ground for females (in politics or policy). I voted for Hillary because she was brought-up in the middle-class and understands what that means. I voted for Hillary because she is articulate, intelligent, resilient, passionate, empathetic. I am heartbroken over her loss, and fearful for our “collective” future.

  32. Emily. What an elightening forum that, for the most part, sought to bring healing and understanding and kindness to a process that has dehumanized so many of us. I, too, learned much from those brave enough to share their hearts, their fears and their hopes. If I may be so bold as to add this to the discussion. Now is the time to move forward, choose hope, and put down our fighting hands and words. Lets not be people who hide behind our computer screens and blast off arrogant and self righteous comments about why our way of thinking is clearly more open minded and inclusive all the while seething inside. That truly isn’t open mindedness. Let’s be about the work of kindness, compasion, generousity and understanding. We don’t need a particular political party in office to have a groundswell of good works, kind words, and radical generousity. Let’s ask ourselves the hard questions of “if these are the core values we feel so passionately about, how can we effect change in these areas on a day to day basis?” Let’s be the change we seek to see in the world. Truly. Let’s lead with love. Let’s find people who need us and let’s get the messiness of life on us. Let’s not talk about corporate generousity and equality and then privately do nothing! Ideology with no personal skin in the game needs to be a thing of the past. Let’s use this election as a stepping stone into greater personal servanthood!! I for one am up for the challenge!!

    1. I love this. Thank you.

  33. Emily, I’ve gained a tremendous amount of respect for you. You’ve articulated basically everything that I believe in, in such a way that is respectful, and I couldn’t have put it into better words! This is what we needed MONTHS ago. and media played such a big bad portion of this election spinning out of control.

    Heads up, shoulders back, stand united, and let’s start rebuilding this nation to what we are truly meant to be.

  34. Thank you for both this article and the previous one. Yesterday it felt like someone had kicked me in the chest. The rational, historical, and politically involved person in me understood that this is how democracy worked. I understood that when the country is going through rapid social change it becomes a bitter, angry, divided version of itself. However, sitting in bed in the middle of the night as the call was made I was no longer that rational adult. I became the 6th grader who stood there as a classmate yelled at her; saying women were not smart enough to ever be president. The younger version of me needed a break from politics yesterday so I went to your blog in place of the political one I read every day over lunch. Another political discussion was obviously not what I was looking for, but thank you and everyone who commented. Seeing (for the most part) the rational and kind discussion helped ease some of that feeling in my chest. It reminded me that we are all in this together. Sometime you win and sometimes you don’t, but we all have an obligation to step up and do the best we can together. Thanks for making me remember.

    1. Thank you, Chris. xx

  35. I usually lurk and read your blog for the fun stuff but this one moved me to comment: Thank you so much for being so brave and willing to be open to have this conversation. Yesterday I felt like I was in mourning and could not have had this conversation civilly or rationally with any Trump supporters. I admire you for not only doing this publicly on your blog, but also helping to bridge the gap between the two sides and helping us (or me, at least) to find a way forward. You are a great human being!

  36. I voted for Hillary because of her experience, rigor and dedication. She believes in keeping families together regardless of ethnicity, equality, not living in fear of those who are different, women’s rights as human rights and more. I sought no personal gain from the election. I am privileged. I knew Hillary would be a voice for those that have been silenced.

    I voted for Hillary because we have guided our children with the golden rule, told them not to bully and taught them acceptance. Hillary encompasses these notions.
    With all this being said, I think Hillary will continue to do greater things than being the president. She will not be obstructed or ridiculed as much by half of the voting population because she won’t be a public servant.

    Having a daughter myself, I have rectified Trump’s treatment of women, in my mind, by placing no value in his words. His words don’t matter; they do not exist. He is not like the men who are around my daughter. There are many others who will show my daughter her true worth. Solidarity, friend.

  37. Could you please not refer to abortion as a crime, even casually in passing? This is an incredibly dangerous rhetoric to throw around considering the fragility of a woman’s right to choose nowadays.

    Also, technically half of America didn’t want trump, it’s more like 18%. (59 million voters out of 318 million population) Out of all the registered voters in the US, 47% did not even vote. It’s so important to get people to the polls during elections, especially midterm elections in which our senators and representatives are elected. I personally am going to call my local dem office to see what I can do to help get voters to the polls in 2018.

    I’m also going to be writing to my representatives in DC to abolish the electoral college–this is the second election that the more liberal candidate won the election but lost the electoral college and thus the presidency. Trump is not the candidate that the public actually wants, so how the hell is he getting in the White House?

    I really urge anyone upset about the election (I cried until 4:30am Wednesday, got three hours sleep, and cried all day) to get involved. Look up your local political office or search out candidates and ask how you can help. Contact the DNC and ask how you can help. Write to your senators about your concerns, write to your local government. Talk to people, calmly and respectfully. Let the world know you aren’t going to stand for the vulgar atrocities the trump campaign called for, and help be the change.

    1. I edited that. I meant it as a metaphor but it was a poor choice at 12:30am after the most emotional day ever and i’m so sorry. It was a fail on my part.

      1. Hey, thanks! I got what I think you were going for (prevention instead of reaction?), but people too easily latch on to words like that. I really appreciate that you take the time to read all your comments, and listen.

    2. I wrote this earlier, but I disagree so much with your comment. Our forefathers knew our country would grow and that large cities and more populated states could decide the election. Come on, look at the electoral map…..it is all red!!! Without the people of New York and California, Trump would have received most of the votes. A politician would never go to Idaho. A politician would never listen to farmers. They would spend all of their time in the most populous states. How much time did both candidates in this election spend in Nevada, New Hampshire, Iowa, and North Carolina even thought they are not large states…..a lot! Get over it.

      1. I wrote thought instead of though…..sorry.

  38. Not only did I vote for Clinton but believe she was the best candidate we have ever seen. That the American people have wasted this opportunity is a tragic shame in itself to say nothing of the candidate they did elect. If we look at just one vital characteristic….intelligence (and I think that’s a pretty darn vital one)…..well, there is no contest we can all agree, right? And so much is a result from that one vital characteristic….ability to reason, to see the larger picture, to make decisions… that alone should have helped people to make their decision. Maybe our education system is not doing a very good job of teaching how to think and reason and so we have ended up with a candidate who is….. well the list is long but the word intelligent does not come to mind.

  39. The promises of a utopia of economic equity are the same promises that Hugo Chavez made to the Venezuelan people.


  40. http://www.ew.com/article/2016/11/09/michael-moore-trumpland

    Emily – I urge you to read the post above – Michael Moore’s doc on the election done last year. Maybe this will help further your understanding – as a “coaster” – it can give you a ‘middle of america” understanding. The media, upper middle class, millionaires, working suburbanites, big city dwellers – missed this entire issue for 18 months.

    1. Michael Moore? Exactly what you want to get out of a blue bubble!

      1. Read the article. Don’t judge so fast.

        1. I have to respectfully disagree. Moore’s prediction on the outcome came to fruition but the reasons he gave for Trump winning in The Brexit states is so far off base. I know, I live in Wisconsin.

  41. Yes I could support a Republican candidate who was intelligent, experienced, self-reflective, and moral (McCain, Romney, Reagan come to mind). I would be upset but not livid. Even if their plan was well thought out but different from my own beliefs. I understand there are many ways to solve a problem and I would be willing to support such a candidate. HOWEVER, I just cannot wrap my head around the fact that many voted for a men to be president with so little experience, integrity, and moral judgement. It truly is baffling to me.

    I understand that people wanted an outsider. I voted for Obama who had only a few years of governmental experience. However, Obama demonstrated an ability to learn, seek advice, surround himself with intelligent people, self critique, as well as an interest to grow. Trump literally has NONE of those qualities.

    Furthermore, not at all Trump voters are sexist and racist. But by voting for him you become a bystander. How can we move forward and progress to become a more open and accepting country when our own people allow our president to speak and engage in such a way.

    Finally I voted for Hillary because I think she was exceptionally qualified, intelligent candidate and I knew she would pick a cabinet that would work for all people. With Supreme Court picks she would also pick judges who are qualified and moderate. She also has grit and perseverance even when the going gets tough. In the face of great opposition she always puts one foot in front of the other and keeps going (qualities I think are highly important in a president). From what I understand she also did a great job at reaching crossing the aisle and asking Republicans for support and comprising. Finally, I never understood the Hillary is a criminal or a liar argument. I have asked countless time for someone to give me a specific example or evidence to support this idea and I have yet to hear even an inkling of one (besides emails or Bengazi both of which have been thoroughly investigated). Frankly, when is Trump going to be investigated by the FBI? I have a feeling we would discover a LOT. As a voters, we should have DEMANDED he released his taxes to gain a better understanding of his past.

    I guess in short this is why I am so disappointed to see Trump as our president. I am trying my best to still be proud of this amazing country we live in. I truly hope for the best for us all that Trump pulls it together and becomes a true president. I have yet to see one example of this but here is to hoping!!

    Excuse my rant I am trying to get it all out so that I can hopefully move onward and upward!

    1. “Furthermore, not at all Trump voters are sexist and racist. But by voting for him you become a bystander. How can we move forward and progress to become a more open and accepting country when our own people allow our president to speak and engage in such a way.”

      you said it perfectly.

    2. This is perfect. My exact thoughts and communicated so thoughtfully.

  42. Completely agree. Thank you!

  43. My heart voted for Hillary because she is a woman. I voted with my 95 year old Grandmother…the 19th was ratified the year before she was born. Can you imagine? Women did not even have the vote! My sense of equality voted for Hillary because I knew she would protect Roe v. Wade and appoint a Supreme Court justice that would ensure a balanced Court. My pocketbook voted for Hillary because of Obamacare. My daughter has a pre-existing condition (a common one–Asthma) and her health care premiums were INSANE. My husband & I went without coverage in order to pay her premiums. With Obamacare we all have quality insurance for 3 times LESS. But ultimately, my soul could never vote for Trump. The man is vile.

  44. Thank you Emily. That was so well written and conveyed for those of us who voted for Hillary and found yesterday a very sad day. You’ve hit all the points on my list regarding Trump. I found myself so often observing his behavior and recognizing it as immature behavior that I worked hard to correct in my kids when they were in middle school. It so sad thinking that behavior I wouldn’t accept in my 11 year old kid was being accepted and even encouraged by adults in someone aspiring to be in the highest office. My mind just can’t process that still.

    As luck would have it, HILLBILLY ELEGY, became available for me at the Library yesterday and I’m diving in.

    As someone who did phone bank, canvass, register people to vote in a swing state, I can say it was really rewarding and I encountered people that inspired me. I met 3 couples during a voter registration drive who were from other countries. They were thanking ME for doing what I was doing which almost made me cry. The eyes of the world are truly on us. I encourage everyone to get involved…it pushed me out of my comfort zone but I am better for it.

    Thank you again.

  45. Emily, I really enjoyed reading your perspective. I’m a republican but feel the party has become ideologically ridiculous. Some things aren’t going away, and republicans must accept that (like Trump now, ha!).

    I do wish liberals thought as you did, that the job of a liberal is to be open minded. I find liberals to be some of the most close minded people I know (I live in a blue city) – the prevailing idea is “My open mindedness is the only right way and you may not speak now close minded pig.”

    And yes, I value freedom over equality (social equality NOT racial, gender, etc.) but am first to say we need welfare, we need aid programs, we need healthcare reform. How we get there is always the tough part. I’ve appreciated reading all your thoughts and the comments of so many willing to share… and now I want to read about your kitchen plans, too.

    1. Hi Julia, I consider myself liberal (Massachusetts born and raised) and this has been a very eye-opening comments section. I am curious what you mean when you say “(social equality NOT racial, gender, etc.)”? What defines social equality to you?

    2. Funny, I’m a liberal and I feel that most conservatives are that way. I wish all people could be open and listen to all sides.

    3. Puzzling to me. Emily’s rhetoric is what I am familiar with in my pretty liberal circle. How is your experience of Liberals different (genuine question!)

  46. Thank you. I needed this. I’m so confused and worried. My six year old came home from school yesterday upset because his friend told him Trump was going to build a wall around our state. I’m struggling as an American, but I’m really struggling as a parent. We also live in a liberal bubble, so hearing the other side of the argument is helping me process. Thanks for starting a healing discussion and the pep talk.

  47. Thanks for this, Emily. I’m Canadian, but I still feel like I’ve been punched in the gut. The comments on your post yesterday were incredibly enlightening and – for me – deeply troubling. I guess I just feel shocked that so many people are able to overlook the racism, sexism, and xenophobia that dominated Trump’s campaign. I’m also shocked that abortion is still such a huge issue for so many. In Canada, abortion was a non-issue during last year’s election campaign (which, by the way, saw our conservative, right-wing prime minister kicked out of office by a left-wing candidate who has been hugely popular).

    I also don’t think I understood how deeply (and, in my opinion, unfairly) hated Hillary. I always find it strange that the more time someone spends in politics, getting actual EXPERIENCE, the more disqualified they’re painted to be. That, my American friends, makes no sense to me. Despite the eloquent comments yesterday, I still don’t understand.

    1. I didn’t understand. I seriously underestimated it. The conversation is the best thing I’ve done in months.

  48. Re: Trump’s racism (or lack thereof)
    If you open your mind too much, your brain will fall out. If squawks like a chicken, it’s probably a chicken.

    I voted without qualifications for HRC, not against Trump, not as just a loyal democrat. The email scandal was largely manufactured by the GOP and the media ate it up. Don’t get me wrong- it should have been investigated, but not in that dramatic and dragged out manner. The only comments that I truly regretted from her were the ‘super-predator’ and ‘deplorables’ and her reactions to the mistresses.

    She is a realist, backed up by research, facts, and experience. She is honest for a politician, despite the narrative that has been created. Her work as a Senator is what I saw as proof she could eventually work with a Republican Congress to pass bills.

    Two things that have truly disturbed me in this election:

    -The way in which information and the objective truth has been twisted and warped. Large parts of the public believe things that are simply not true or gross exaggerations. How do we reconcile the disparate realities? How do you have a discussion with someone who fundamentally disagrees on what the truth is? When you can self select your own reality is it even possible to have unity?

    -The part the media plays in creating those false realities. I recognize that media censorship is dangerous and I’m not suggesting that. But I do think that journalists should take a step back to analyze how their coverage played into the election results. Constantly covering Trump played right into his hands, even when the coverage was negative. How can the media work to better spread objective non-biased journalism to those who do not actively seek it? Is it possible to do that without being a preachy public service announcement? How can we create a more consistent, unifying source of information like what the nightly news used to be before cable and the internet?

    I am still terrified and did my fair share of hysterical crying. Worried about my friends who can’t pass for white and Christian.

    1. I could write for days and days about the things that infuriated me during this campaign, but just using the email issue alone, our Trump stood on his stump and called the Huma-laptop emails “the motherlode” and gleefully rubbed his hands together about what he knew they would uncover to the joy of his “lock her up”-chanting crowd. He said these things with literally ZERO knowledge of the situation, and as we now know he was completely wrong. He was literally making things up. And no one seems to care.

    2. Thank you for this. Well said. So much misinformation it is truly frightening

    3. I really don’t understand the hate Hillary gets for not wanting to be BFFs with her husband’s mistresses. Would any wife not feel angry? Especially when some of her comments were made in confidence to friend who then wrote them down.

      1. The media, Fox, CNN, MSNBC should take a lot of blame. They should be ASHAMED of themselves. I’m disgusted at the way they portrayed Hillary, at how they refused to see the audience that supported trump in a fair way and because of them we weren’t amply prepared to campaign and win. They failed all of us and the government should try them for libel.

        1. This might sound a little crazy..? Impossible? But since we found out that Trump won, my husband and I have declared ourselves to be on a “media boycott”. Like so many others, I searched high and low over the last 18 months for a truly unbiased news source and could not find one. Though I’m not sure where we’ll get our news from now.. the good old-fashioned newspaper sounds pretty appealing.

        2. Hi Emily–I respect so much what you’ve done here, and agree with you whole heartedly. My only issue is with your last statement in this comment. I’m not sure if you truly mean that you think the government should go after the media for libel or if you’re being hyperbolic. I’m angry at the media too for their coverage of Hillary, but I disagree strongly about trying to use libel laws against them. In addition to my belief that it won’t work, given the First Amendment, I would be worried about a political arena in which the candidates go after journalists for criticizing them. Even though this is a case where some of those criticisms were outright false, I would not open that Pandora’s box. It’s what Trump wants to do, precisely because he doesn’t like dissenters, and it’s right out the fascist playbook. That being said, I’m not sure what the solution or recourse should be.

  49. Thank you for this.

  50. These posts are the best things I have read post-election, thanks Emily. I voted for Hillary because when it comes to social issues I really disagreed with Donald. I was shaken by some of the harsh things he said and couldn’t, in good conscious, vote for him. I read a large chunk of the comments on the previous post, mostly to educate myself, and I have to say that I do understand where those who voted for Donald are coming from. I am grateful that I found an outlet that could enlighten me without enraging me. I do want to say that I am open-minded and positive about America’s future. This has been a brutal year for all and the conclusion of ads, debates, and division will hopefully begin the healing process that we all so desperately need. Things will be okay.

  51. Twenty four hours, time to get busy. My sister just volunteered to work the hotline at a woman’s shelter, i plan to do the same, or volunteer at Planned Parenthood. What if we started a movement of women helping women and children in HRC’s honor? Problem is, I don’t have a vouce, but you do Emily Henderson.

    1. YOU ARE RIGHT. I’m putting my ducks in a row but trust me, shit is happening over here and we (my company) will be a part of changing the problem and maintaining humanity. Don’t worry. My mind is too offended to let my body be lazy.

  52. Thank you for posting this Emily, and an even bigger thank you for the reminder to listen to and attempt to understand both sides. The ability to do so is what makes for great leadership and smart choices.

    That being said, I was with Hillary all the way, even in the Bernie days. I felt a kinship with her. She did great things as first lady of Arkansas (where I grew up), and great things as a Senator for New York (where I currently live). I love her focus on women and children, and I knew she’d fight for women to get the respect, equal pay, and ability to make our own decisions about our bodies that we all deserve. I also believed that as a working mother she, if anyone, would understand that this country makes it damn near impossible to raise a child while still being a productive member of the workforce, and that she’d fight to change that.

    I also had confidence that she’d be the face of MY America on the world’s stage. She’s well-respected by global leaders, and she understands the complexities of global situations in which the US is involved. Frankly speaking, I vote for leaders to make decisions on behalf of the country as a whole. I’m not sure the common American has any right to argue with what we do abroad if they don’t fully understand the facts and the consequences surrounding the situation, and the media has all but proven that it only reports what it feels like.

    All in all, I believe she has the qualifications to lead, the connections to be able to listen and cooperate with both sides, and the cool-headedness to be able to make informed decisions.

  53. Thank you. I agree with everything you said here and applaud your bravery, open mindedness and the opportunity for others to speak their minds. It was helpful to me also to listen to a variety of heartfelt comments on both sides. I am very scared going forward for what is going to happen. I think that rather than trying to see the big picture, that a lot of very narrow minds are going to destroy a lot of lives in this country by taking away their healthcare, breaking up families, legitimizing intolerance and bigotry, and allowing corporations to take advantage. We need someone to look out for EVERYONE, and I just don’t believe Trump is going to do that. But, I will keep on keeping on, standing up for what I believe in, loving everyone and setting a good example.

    1. I’m scared, too. One week later, it hasn’t gotten better. Worse, actually.

  54. Hi Emily,
    I really enjoy your blog and I appreciate you taking the time to reach out and try to understand both sides of this crazy election we just had. Your respectful tone and genuine effort to communicate your position and understand opposing ones is very encouraging and a much needed example for all of us.

    I consider myself a libertarian leaning conservative. Like you, I believe that “left to our own devices, we are innately all selfish and will put our needs, our wants, our dollars in front of the greater good.” However, since a government is made up of us, i.e. people who are innately selfish, when there is such a huge concentration of money and power in government, I believe that it becomes too irresistible for those with access to that money and power not to use it for their own gain. This was one of my main issues with a Hilary Clinton presidency. Access to huge amounts of power and money seems to be more than most anybody can handle with integrity. I believe it is possible to help people AND not waste money and by not wasting money we can help MORE people. But we all have to be willing to get our hands dirty and not just hand over our money.

    Apologies for hijacking your “why did you support Hilary post” with an opposing view but I wanted to offer this thought— What is happening across the nation now is exactly what was happening in the Republican party primary season. I supported Carly Fiorina and then Rand Paul and like many of us thought the Trump phenomenon was a flash in the pan and would burn out on its own. Obviously that did not happen. Back in the spring, we were having the same “WTF just happened here!?!?” moment that many more are having now. There was a populist movement we had not anticipated nor understood. That was our own fault and I’m still trying to understand it (in also reading books like Hillbilly Elegy, etc.)

    May God have mercy on us all as we seek to step out of our own echo-chambers and seek to truly understand others.


    1. This makes sense thank you

    2. I really appreciate your comment/view. I’ve definitely learned a lot from my readers through these comments like this, so thank you . xx

  55. Interesting conversation! I missed yesterdays post, so i am just jumping in here. I haven’t even read the comments from yesterday. I just wanted to say that I didn’t vote for either Hillary OR Trump. I know people will say I wasted my vote, and maybe I did, but I just couldn’t get myself to vote for either one. I truly felt like this election was a huge lose-lose either way. Kind of disappointing to feel that way about both candidates, right? BUT with all that being said, i was relieved when Trump won instead of Hillary. In the end it all came down to me liking a handful of his policies more than Hillarys. That doesn’t mean i think he is a decent person, but I also didn’t believe Hillary was either. But i just couldn’t live with the insane amount of taxes and a HUGE increase in our Obamacare insurance that will take affect soon. I just haven’t loved the direction Obama took our country in and think many other Americans must feel the same since Trump won. I don’t know. These are just random thoughts. I appreciate you creating a safe place to share them, Emily!

  56. One more thought (sorry, I have lots of them, I know we all do!)

    Respectfully, I’d like to challenge your “old white men” assumption about the Republican party. I was extremely encouraged to see the wide diversity that was represented in the Republican primary field. Ironically, the sheer number of folks was probably part of our downfall but that field boasted a woman, 2 Hispanics, and an African-American. I would have been proud to vote for any of them in the general election but alas, that was not to be.

    At the same time, the Democratic primary field was made up of all “old” people, all white, all career politicians and yes, one woman but the rest were old, white men. There are many men and women of color in the Republican Party who are winning people over with winsome expression of sound ideas. I think of Rep Mia Love from Utah, Sen Marco Rubio, Sen Tim Scott from South Carolina, Gov. Susana Martinez (the first hispanic woman governor!!) and this just for starters. I am proud these men and women are part of our party and look forward to see what they will accomplish in the years to come.

    1. I was talking about the media, not republicans. 🙂 Sure, the media tries to be diverse, but its run by old white men despite having minorities and women as pundits. Its run by OLD WHITE MEN.

      1. But thank you very much for your comment 🙂

    2. I realize now that you were right and I was confused about my own comment (I had also written about old white men as media not republicans). But I think you are right/compelling. xx

  57. I voted for Hillary, but it took me a long time to come to that conclusion. In the end, I didn’t hold my nose when I did it either. But now I wish that I had reached that point earlier, so I could advocate more strongly for her candidacy.

    I was raised in a conservative family and grew up thinking the Clintons were scum. In reading further about many of her “scandals,” they overwhelmingly seemed to be manufactured.

    In parallel, I was raised to think that I could do anything I wanted. It wasn’t until I entered the workplace that I started to notice that people treated me and other women differently. One boss was kind and meant well, but he was clearly uncomfortable managing me and offering feedback. Meanwhile, as my (well-educated) friends started having children, their husbands often preferred boys. Obviously this is an abbreviation of my journey, but combined I realized that sexism is real.

    So back to Hillary, I think she has been unfairly maligned. She is a wonk who does her homework, and truly seems to act in the best interest of others. So ultimately I was excited to vote for her, and the fact that she was a woman was a cherry on top.

    I also voted vehemently against Donald Trump, but Emily has articulated why better than I can. As someone who has lived and spends a lot of time abroad, I am embarrassed at how he will present our nation to the world. I cannot think of a politician in recent history who is so shamelessly uninformed. (One topic that didn’t get much coverage this year — the President has much more unilateral power in foreign affairs than s/he does domestically.)

    On a separate note, I am very concerned about the polarization of information and the proliferation of fake news. A lot of the information people cited on Emily’s post yesterday is patently untrue. It feeds into the notion that Hillary is a criminal and that Trump’s transgressions are alleged (sigh), and that the Clinton Foundation is a shady enterprise (it has an A+ rating people!). On the flip side, it is disconnected from people who don’t live in the coasts, setting them up as a type of “other.” But most importantly, this prevents us from being able to listen to each other, since we bring our own set of facts to conversations.

    1. Yes, echo chamber news is a danger to both sides and both parties but respectfully, I submit to you that the private email server scandal was not manufactured. No one forced her to take that action. My husband is in the military and would face at least the loss of his job if not charges and possibly jail time for even forwarding one confidential email outside of proper channels. Should we not expect the same standard of our Secretary of State and potential President?

    2. Exactly! Well put.

    3. wonderful insightful comment, thank you.

  58. Thank you thank you thank you for yesterday’s post. I was distraught, crying on the phone to my mother until 3am on election night. I was so scared, sad, hopeless, embarrassed. However, I learned a few good things from your post yesterday

    1) most people don’t like Trump, which means, to me, that even within his own party he will have checks and balances
    2) People are thoughtful, even if I don’t agree with them.

    To me, this election is a rallying call – I am here to support and LOVE all of those who are outsiders, they will receive unconditional support from this white, Jewish, upper-middle class, overly educated, privileged individual. If the government won’t support their rights as humans, then I will fight, use my voice, my money and my time to ensure that they are respected.

  59. “It was a bad year for all us.”…I’m sorry i cannot agree with this statement. As a Trump Supporter, who truly does not mind him, his ridiculous comments and all, I have hope for our country’s future. More importantly, the last 8 years were what I thought would be pure agony because I HATE OBAMA (everyone go nuts now)…and guess what? I got through it. Just as all of the Hillary supporters will get through the next 4 years. Were there things (that god awful obamacare) that Obama did that directly affected my family and me? Of course! But i’m here today. I didn’t cry 4 or 8 years ago..I put my big girl pants on and moved forward. I suggest all the liberals suck it up and move on. But thank you Emily, for giving me an insight on your opinion. A comment yesterday summed everything up best with something along the lines of “EMILY, if we ever met- I ASSURE YOU WE WOULD BE GREAT FRIENDS”. Let’s not put anyone in a box b/c of who they voted for, and lets all move forward.

    1. May I respectfully ask why you hate Obama? As someone who sincerely loves him I’m just curious to hear your answer (aside from Obamacare which you already mentioned).

    2. I disagree with your perspective, but hey, maybe if we met we would be friends. Maybe you are really funny and have great style. But not being bothered by the things that Trump has said and done (on record) on the past and the way he has treated people and made fun of individuals who are differently-abled and people of Muslim faith makes me feel sort of like we would have an unbelievable ethical roadblock to getting there.

    3. Honestly, I would love to here what about the ACA was bad for you. I live in Massachusetts and we already have affordable care because of Mitt Romney and I’ve never had any negative effect.

    4. How would you have felt if after the 2012 election, Obama supporters were shouting “Lock up Romney!” and a Democrat-controlled congress released a statement that they would start an investigation into Romney’s actions as governor? Because I’m still seeing a lot of “Hillary for Prison” talk and the R congress just announced they are going to waste even more of our tax $ on yet another Hillary investigation of the exact stuff they’ve ALREADY investigated. This sort of vindictiveness, nastiness and political theater from the Trump folks makes it tough to move forward or believe that people actually want “togetherness.” There is such a thing as sore winners.

      Further, it is tiring to have to keep taking the high ground after a campaign with such cruel comments on minority groups from Trump. Do you think if Trump had won the popular vote and Hillary the electoral college Trump would have conceded, and if he did, do you think we’d be looking at peaceful protests? I have serious doubts, mainly because in the last debate he said he’d only accept the result if he won.

      1. Exactly this. Well said Tracy.

        1. One of the only benefits of Trump winning is avoiding the riots that would have happened. And not just last night or tonight. It would be absolutely terrifying not because all Trump supporters are violent and of hatred, but there are many of them and he doesn’t stop it. Additionally I, too, would benefit from hearing from someone about why they hate Obama. I’m someone who thought it was and will be one of the best presidents and men of our lifetime and country, but I know that my perspective is just that. Mine. I would honestly like to know what people don’t like about him or how he has wronged you.

          1. I agree with you Emily about this and I am also curious. I don’t even think Obama was able to accomplish as much as he could have with his presidency because of congress.

          2. Can you give some examples of Trump voters being violent? Exactly how are they full of hatred? Have you seen what has happened in Oregon? Is it right to destroy a private business person’s property because your candidate didn’t win?
            I didn’t know who I was voting for until days before the election. I am tired of choosing the person who in my estimation will do the least damage. Change needs to happen on both sides but please be careful not to make blanket statements about one group or the other without some hard facts.

    5. Respectfully, Many many people fear for their physical safety due to trumps rhetoric. I think that’s a key difference. It’s comforting that you think his comments are ridiculous but unfortunately others hear a rallying call.

  60. Thank you SO much Emily for this, I couldn’t agree with you more- you have perfectly articulated how so many of us feel. Personally, I would probably benefit from republican tax policies but I can’t even begin to think about my bank account when people’s individual rights, liberties and equal status are on the line. Thank you for your courage!

    1. DITTO. My taxes sound like monopoly money now, but I still want to pay them in hopes that it helps my community and the greater good. I realize that sounds super pretentous and ‘oh … good for you …’ but I thought that the older I got the more conservative i was supposed to get … NOT TRUE.

  61. Thank you for this. I totally agree with this point: “I’d rather waste money then not help people.” We do not want to do either, and it is up to our elected leaders to figure this out. In the end, I will always fall on the side of helping others.

    I do want to say one thing. Only 25% of the voting age population voted for Donald Trump, and 25% voted for Hillary Clinton. So the offensive views that Trump and many of his followers espouse, do not have a mandate. Hearing that statistic this morning made me sad that more people are not participating in our democracy, but it also made me feel better that just because Trump won this election does not mean most people actually agree with many of the hateful things he said.

  62. I voted for Hillary because she is incredibly smart, competent and hard working. She’s the nerd in class that everyone asks for class notes because they forgot or were gossiping with their friends. I’m 59 and I saw what the Republicans did to the Clinton’s in the 90’s and it was pretty awful. Did they make mistakes? Yes, they did, but I don’t think that they’re criminals. But Whitewater morphing into an investigation of Bill’s wandering eyes? That was wrong.

    I work in government and the idea that a career businessman/reality TV star could walk into the White House and do this job is incredibly naive. Governing is all about compromise, and meeting after meeting. It’s slow and often boring, but it’s what gets the roads fixed and makes sure that our country functions more or less according to rules that we’ve all agreed on. Flash and bombast don’t cut it. I honestly think this is a disaster and I’m still uncertain of how to go forward, other than just keep breathing and keeping taking one step at a time. To all of those who held their noses and voted for Trump in hopes that he won’t enact the more outrageous of his promises, please join us on the left to make sure it won’t happen. Fix the ACA, yes, but don’t take ACA health insurance away from those who already have it. Fix immigration, yes, but don’t deport 11 million people. Sensible policies, not big, beautiful walls. Sane international relations, not abandoning NATO. I’m not hopeful, but I’m not giving up on my country yet.

    1. Agreed. I just don’t think trump will even like the work and demands of a presidency. He is a showman. He should have started his own alt right network. He would have much more success with that I have a feeling

      1. Yup — even if you accept that he wanted to run for President out of duty to country, I can’t imagine that he would enjoy the day to day grind and environments of this job (and honestly, I’m shocked that anyone *would* want to do this – it’s a constant amazement to me that anyone does).

        Gone is the time where he can stand in front of an adoring crowd. I just wonder if this is where he wants to spend his sunset years. Unlike “politicians” who have experience in public life, he is going to be forced to stop doing what he’s done for 50 decades.

    2. As a former government worker, I’m in complete agreement here. The people who know how policy works are scared because this is someone who doesn’t know the system. You can’t change any system without understanding it first unless you want chaos and failure.

      1. YES. and that is so terrifying.

  63. Your point about privilege really resonates with me. I work in oil and gas in Texas, and my husband is an attorney and we are solidly upper middle class, as are most of our friends. My husband and I as well as most of the people we socialize with are liberal, but we both (me especially) work with a lot of privileged people who think they have earned everything they have, and anyone could be where they are if they just worked hard. We are liberal because we understand that we didn’t get where we are just because we worked hard. We do work hard, but there is so much more to our success than work alone. So below, I list the way I am privileged:

    -I was born healthy to two happily married, educated, white parents.
    -I grew up in comfortable homes, in upper middle class suburbia, with modern amenities.
    -I did not suffer abuse at the hands of my parents.
    -I went to quality schools (many of them private).
    -I grew up in a way where I learned how to dress, speak, and act according to my privilege (people underestimate how far this takes you).
    -I went to a private college for free (because my parents and wealthy grandparents paid for it).
    -I had free transportation until I was 32 (my parents bought me a car in college, and I drove it until it died).
    -My first job out of college was working as an assistant at an oil and gas company…which was owned by my parents’ friend

    After I got that job, I worked hard and made a name for myself. I made excellent grades in school, also because I worked hard. I’m also aware of the fact that I didn’t have to worry about anything BUT working hard, and my mom wasn’t working two or three jobs to support us, but was on me all the time about my homework. I wasn’t concerned about where my next meal was coming from or if I was safe, and I wasn’t managing a health issue. I’m not saying any of this to brag, but just to highlight how much privilege many of us have, and how much there is to overcome for someone living in poverty in our country. I was a republican for a long time because I’m a southern Christian and that’s what I was told to be, but when I grew up and met a broader cross section of people I just couldn’t reconcile what I saw with what I was taught or what I read in the Bible and now I’m a true blue democrat and proud of it. My mother in law (who voted for Trump) asked my husband why we voted for Hillary when we are in such a high tax bracket. His answer was that we are happy to pay higher taxes to help fund a better country for all of us. We won’t vote selfishly.

    (It’s also worth adding that we believe providing healthcare, a poverty safety net, affordable childcare, etc reduces strain on the economy and is therefore the best thing for even those of us who pay high taxes in the long run, that’s not our main motivation.)

    1. Thank you for this.

    2. This is similar to my situation, and this is how I feel. I believe we need to use our privilege for good. I don’t want to live in a world that says “I deserve more than you.” I want to live in one that says “You deserve as much as me.”

      1. YES! Exactly, Maria Anne!!!

    3. Agree completely. I’m from Alabama (live in MA now). Many of my high school friends are, not surprisingly, conservative. They post articles on Facebook that suggest their main guiding principles (other than perhaps abortion) are a concern about wealth distribution. One used the example of a straight-A student who works hard having to share her grades with a partier who gets Cs, i.e., Democrats would give everyone Bs. There was no self-acknowledgement of the facts that (1) most of these girls I know were not good students in school and didn’t work particularly hard for their grades, (2) they are upper-middle-class white girls who have had every privilege in life, (3) their parents supported them until they could either support themselves or they got married, (4) most don’t work now. So tell me the argument again about deserving all the success you’ve had in life?

    4. Thank you. For your comment, open mindedness and candidness. If only more wealthy Americans would recognize why they are wealthy, in turn realizing why others are in less fortunate positions our social programs would get funded and our poverty, bad public education, mental health, homeless issues would have some actual support from people with influence.

    5. AMEN. Self-awareness and honesty goes such a long way. I wish more people understood this.

  64. I work for the Dept of Housing. We have countless programs to put homeless people in homes and in jobs and thousands of people to make this happen.

    1. Then why are there homeless people still on the streets? They do not choose to be in that position.

      1. Actually, many of them do choose to live on the streets. I have a good friend who does outreach to homeless vets in Boston. He goes out in a van with food and clothing and offers to bring the homeless to a shelter for the night and to find them permanent housing. MANY accept the food and clothing but refuse the housing, preferring to stay on the street.

  65. “So yes, I am a democrat and while I don’t believe in ‘Big Government’ I believe we are all teenagers (or maybe toddlers?) and we need guidance from our parents to help us realize we are not the only people in the world and that other people matter. We need some rules, some policies, some guidelines to protect us and to constantly remind us to be better, be more empathetic, and serve others.”

    As a libertarian – this line kills me. No, I am a grown adult and I don’t need the government to guide my morality. I don’t rob banks because the government tells me not to – I don’t because it’s wrong. And I definitely don’t need the government to teach me how to serve others. I hope that in four years we are able to elect a president that will give power back to it’s citizens and communities. Let US make decisions on what’s best for our families, our communities, our money, and our bodies. I have worked for two nonprofits that have zero government funding and I have tell you we have had a bigger and more long lasting effect on our clients lives than entitlements ever will. As a die-hard dem turned libertarian, can I just urge everyone to look up libertarian policies? Cato Institute and Reason are great starts.

    We are not a bunch of selfish, money grubbing, isolationists. We crave prosperity and equality, our ideas about how to get there are just a little (very) different than yours.

    1. Kristi, you might be an intelligent person with morals and values that guide you towards good decisions in society that benefit the greater good. But America is HUGE and has proves on a daily basis to be selfish, mean, inconsiderate, unchristian and put their needs and wants WAY before the greater good. Do I need big government to help me be a better person? No. I don’t. But we are the biggest, most diverse (proven recently) country on the planet so we need something to help ground us, guide us and keep us together or we will be Rome. We will fall. We are not impervious to failure and I feel like no one is really understanding that.

    2. I’m really liberal/progressive. Once, during an election year, I ended up taking a libertarian on a road trip with me as a favor to a friend. He loved talking politics. It was really fun (I thought we were going to fight the whole time) because I found I had a lot in common with libertarians. One–many don’t believe it’s the government’s decision for abortion for example. Also, they don’t want foreign entanglements. Plus–they like free trade because with trade there are fewer wars. Libertarians tend to have very well thought about views. I actually got to know one of the founders of the Cato institute and I was able to learn a lot from him.
      It’s not my viewpoint–I’m more with Emily, but I respect it. I do not think the Republican party line or policies generally represent libertarians, but it must better represent it because so many end up voting Republican.

  66. Emily,
    I LOVED this. It put into words exactly why I believe what I believe and why I voted the way that I did.
    The only thing I would add to the “why I am a liberal” column is this: I believe that climate change is real, and I have done my research. It is not some liberal construct and it will destroy life on our planet as we know it. We have an obligation to change the way we live and the conservative denial on this issue is going to be a huge problem for future generations.
    I think you’ve opened the door to this conversation constructively and respectfully, thank you.

  67. Emily, again thank you for opening the space for thoughtful and respectful discussion. While I noted yesterday why I could not vote for Clinton – abortion – I did not go into detail. However, given your statements about the fact that abortion cannot even be a discussion until (insert whatever argument you would like whether it be access to contraceptives, education, etc) I feel like I need to give some explanation.

    If we are not having the conversation then we will not be moving towards solving the problem. As ardently pro-life (in every sense including euthanasia, death penalty) I fully acknowledge that the issue of unplanned pregnancy is complicated. However, as it is now we are providing a “simple” and very permanent solution to a multifaceted issue that is tied to temporary circumstance. If we are not willing to address education, childcare, healthcare (all of the things you noted you as a liberal care about. BTW I am conservative and believe ALL of those things should be accessible to ALL Americans) then we will never be any closer to solving the problem of women being told they must choose between themselves and their child.

    It is abhorrent to me that this has been sold as a solution that frees women. This could not be further from the truth. As you said, no one wants an abortion so why have we stood by and allowed our culture to form around the notion that it is her right to do so? Why do we let women carry the burden of having and then living with the aftermath of an abortion (finding out that your baby or parts of it might have been sold; living with regret and what if, long lasting physical outcomes, etc)? This is NOT healthcare. This does NOT help women. While I do agree the Planned Parenthood may provide other services, a large portion of their profits come from abortion and the agonizing decision that over 3000 women a day (yes, a day) make. They have made an industry of of this. My point being that if we as a society no longer consider it the “easy way out” (which it absolutely is not) we will raise up a culture and societal structures to support women and families.

    I would like to make one last point – our nation was built upon the backs of slaves. For many years we debated the value and humanity of a slave. I would like to think that all (or at least most) of us look back and cannot fathom how people truly believed that slaves were the property of the salve owner and that they counted as 3/5 of a person. There is no denying that abortion kills a person. Each baby has its own DNA (different from mother, father or anyone who has ever lived) upon conception. We know more about development and what a baby can hear or feel, etc. Despite this knowledge, Hillary Clinton said she believes that abortion rights should be extended until birth and that a baby minutes from birth has no constitutional rights (read: not enough human value to matter). This is a far cry from what Bill Clinton said should be “legal, safe and rare.” We have to start having the conversation now.

    Abortion, like slavery, is a black spot upon the soul of this nation. For many years we did nothing about slavery because we were terrified of the economic and social impact. At some point we have to agree of some big T truths no matter the cost. For me, and it sounds like for you, the intrinsic value of all human life is one of them. Maya Angelou said, “When you know better, you do better.” We can do better.

    1. There is no such thing as abortion in the last month of pregnancy in the US. As a premature baby, I know that after 8 months of pregnancy a baby can live outside of the womb, no one believes in killing self sustaining babies and no one in this country’s government argues for that.

      We know scientifically that a baby cannot live outside the womb before 22 weeks – therefore, scientifically, terminating the pregnancy before then is no different than wearing a condom and not letting those sperm become babies.

      1. Thank you for your comment Keith. While I fundamentally disagree with you about an abortion prior to 22 weeks, I would like to address your point that no one is advocating for late term or post viability abortions.

        While some states have restrictions on late term abortions it is legal in all states to have an abortion into the 9th month of pregnancy. Eight states (Colorado, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New Mexico, Oregon, Rhode Island, Vermont & Washington State) allow abortion until birth for any reason. Thus, birth is what legally makes a child a human being with rights in the US.

        In 2012, the CDC reported that 1.3 percent of abortions were committed after 21 weeks gestation. With approximately 1 million abortions per year in the US that is approximately 13,000 late term abortions. 13,000 babies that could viably live outside of the womb.

        This extension of abortion past viability is a result of Doe v. Bolton, a case that sought to overturn restrictions on late term abortion in Georgia including multiple medical opinions as to the necessity of the abortion. It was determined that it is a matter of “health” to be determined by the woman and doctor. Health as defined in the court decision can be anything physical, emotional, psychological, familial, and the woman’s age. Abortions are performed by doctors. Thus, the abortionist and the woman can decide after viability to abort the baby for virtually any reason.

        Both first hand accounts of those who have worked in the abortion industry (George Tiller, Abby Johnson) and a study at the Guttmacher Institute report that the amount of late term abortions sought due to serious danger to the mother or child make up a small minority of those approximately 13,000 late term abortions per year. Moreover, in 2015 when there was a proposed ban that included stronger restrictions on late term abortions (in this case anything after 20 weeks gestation), Planned Parenthood president Cecil Richards said that the bill “lacked compassion and respect.”

        The very fact that a bill banning or strongly restricting post viability abortions was proposed means that it is happening. The fact that Planned Parenthood would publicly denounce it means that they are in the business of profiting from abortion, not providing care to women who would actually qualify for a late term abortion due to grave danger.

        I would also like to note the both Norma McCorvey (Roe) and Sandra Cano (Doe) have publicly said that they were lied to and their lawyers lied to the courts in order to advance these cases. They have both sought to overturn the decisions that were made in their respective cases.

        1. But to me, “for any reason” still needs to include the women who have pregnancies that threaten their life, or their baby is dying inside them. And if their rights are taken away because of women in different situations with different reasons, they have to suffer and possibly die. I fight for those women, because nobody deserves that. 13,000 is a very small number vs. the number of pregnancies per year in this country. That’s a very easy to believe number that these cases were a dire need to terminate or the mother would die, or the baby was severely disfigured and would suffer immensely if allowed to go to term. I’m so afraid to ever get pregnant in this new political climate, because if that terrible situation happens to me, I might die, or I might have to suffer unimaginable pain and feel my baby dying inside me because other people think it’s wrong for me to make that decision on my own.

    2. Wow. Well said. This is one of the best articulations of the pro-life position I’ve heard in a long time. Thank you for taking the time to write it out.

      I volunteer in a local Pregnancy Resource Center and we see women each week who are agonizing over this decision and many who have made the decision to abort and carry it like a millstone around their neck for years to come. We absolutely must do better in not only encouraging women to make the choice to parent or place for adoption but also in providing a rich fabric of community that offers support and medical care during pregnancy and after. Many organizations other than Planned Parenthood are doing this already and with and without government assistance.

      1. Kelty, thank you for the work you do! There are so many crisis pregnancy hotlines, centers & organizations across the nation doing what women in unplanned pregnancies need and want – showing them how they can keep their babies and who will help them.

      2. What about prevention? Does not one here advocate for education and easy access? I feel crazy alone in this.

        1. Emily, if you read my explanation carefully it is in direct response to your caveat that it won’t be a conversation until…It is all part of the same conversation. In my opinion if abortion is constantly presented as the “solution” to an “unwanted problem” then we are never forced to come up with actual solutions (education, subsidized childcare, etc.). Again, I am not opposed to any of those. Part of that education is also noting that NO form of birth control is 100% effective. As long as a woman has functioning reproductive organs and has sex a pregnancy is possible. Believing that contraception will prevent all unwanted pregnancies is inaccurate. At some point we have to reconcile that our choices have outcomes and consequences and we can’t always make them go away. In many ways, as you said, we has humans are entitled and selfish. We can’t always have what we want when we want it (without strings attached).

          In terms of the late term abortions, I want to be clear that most bills that restrict them do so for dire medical reasons. I don’t think that requiring multiple medical opinions before making the choice is unreasonable. You would do so for any other major medical decision. I absolutely understand that being in that position is horrific.

          That being said, we are on a constant slippery slope from legal, safe and rare and post-viability abortions in cases of medical necessity to now defending the possibility of post-birth abortions (aka murder of a person who now has constitutional human rights) in a journal of medical ethics: http://jme.bmj.com/content/early/2012/03/01/medethics-2011-100411.full.

          EB would you vote for a candidate who proposed abolishing abortion but also increased access to favorable social programs? Many voters are similar in that they have to choose one or two key issues to make their choice as no candidate lines up with everything you think and believe. Please don’t assume superiority.

          I voted for McMullin because I could not actively elect either Clinton or Trump. My two main issues were abortion and constitutional freedoms (religion, speech, etc.). Neither candidate convinced me that they stood where I do on them. I felt that either way (Clinton or Trump) our country would face a difficult road.

          I did not draft my response in order to convince people on the other side. Just as no one will convince me out of my pro-life stance, I understand that there are many who feel the same on the other side of the issue. I can acknowledge that there are valid concerns on both sides despite which side I land on. I don’t believe it is ridiculous to expect the same from others.

          I was responding to the notion that we cannot have discussion about a particular issue that clearly might have been instrumental for a lot of voters. The attempt is to have a respectful and nuanced conversation about the issues at hand and why this election has been so tumultuous.

        2. Emily, you’re not alone on this. My heart goes out to women left emotionally scarred by their abortions – I have a cousin who experienced just that before she and her husband had their two girls. But let’s not forget that women, like every other group, are not a monolith. As sad as my cousin’s story is, it is far from every woman’s story. For her one experience within my personal orbit, there are no fewer than four people who made a choice that, while difficult, was absolutely the right one for them. Until sex education, birth control, and resources for health care are readily and freely/affordably available for every woman everywhere in this country, I will continue to ardently advocate advocate for a woman’s right to choose. It’s sad that so often the people who oppose that right so strongly are the same people who oppose anything but abstinence education, access to pregnancy prevention, and economic resources to pregnant girls and women without means.

          And I won’t elaborate, because the immediate aftermath of this election is still too raw, but I have to say, as a woman of color, I really take issue with equating abortion to slavery. It wasn’t a good argument when vegans had it, and it still isn’t.

      3. That “millstone” would gladly be adopted into a family who desperately wants children.

    3. Something the pro-life crowd (and probably the pro-choice crowd) probably gets wrong – that abortion is AGONIZING and something that tortures women for years after the fact. That is not entirely true. While some women likely feel that way, and it is important to acknowledge their feelings, it is equally important we recognize the statistical truth – the vast majority of women simply feel RELIEF. It is not a comfortable topic for many, but I think we should at least deal in facts. Erika – I acknowledge the way you feel about abortion, and I can totally comprehend why you might feel that way, but how does your opinion gives you the right to take away another woman’s options? Are you prepared to judge nearly 1/3 of women under 45 and tell them what to do with their bodies, their lives? Finally, another point the pro-life crowd seems to miss is that the abortion rate DECREASES under Democrats (promotion of birth control, elimination of abstinence only sex-ed programs, etc.) According to the CDC it fell 5% under Obama.


      It is really difficult for me to reconcile how this one issue can cancel out everything else about a particular candidate.

      1. I had an abortion. I was relieved.

      2. A woman’s feelings about her abortion (whether it is relief, regret or somewhere in between) does not change my belief that life begins at conception and that all life is deserving of basic human rights. This belief drives me to the conclusion that we as a society should not make or defend any law that makes the taking of or violence against another life easier.

        I will always return to the parallels that can be drawn to the slavery. The same argument was made about judging slaveowners or telling them what to do with their “property.” They firmly believed in the non-human reality of the slave, made decisions based on the belief and likely felt relief that they could pursue their lives and businesses as they saw fit. I’m sure others struggled as the recognized the humanity of the slave but felt entrenched in a system with little or no other options and were fearful of the impact of making different decisions. It does not change the fact that the slave is a human person.

        If you recognize the humanity and dignity of the person in question (slave, unborn) then yes at some point you are willing to take some hard lines about what is right and wrong. We as a society have decided on many of these wrongs, regulate and make judgements about them – domestic violence, child abuse, rape,etc.

        Also, please see my response to Emily to note that I am not advocating doing away with education. In fact I feel that is where we should be focusing to teach our children (and ourselves) how to make informed, rational decisions aware of and ready for the potential consequences – even when it is hard.

        1. Erka, your example of slave/master relationship as an anology to abortion makes no sense to me. Having or not having a slave in no way threatened the welfare of a so-called master beyond perhaps not having a more comfortable lifestyle. Having a child when not ready can have serious physical, emotional, social and financial repurcussions for a woman. Sometimes it can be a question of life or death. Slavery was a matter of self indulgance and selfishness. No woman has an abortion as a way of indulgance and it is extremely offensive to imply so. You have no idea of the circumstances of women who do so.

      3. Thank you for this EB, this is something that frustrates me to no end. I had an abortion. I felt massively relieved. I belong to an ultra-backward minority community. When i was in my teens, i got pregnant. I would not call it rape but it was something that happened under false pretenses. My boyfriend dumped me when he found out. If i had told my parents they would have either killed me and/or themselves. They would have been socially ostracised in the community. People from my society would have killed me if my parents didn’t. Having an abortion saved my life and probably that of my family. It has been more than a decade and while i sometimes do wonder what might have been, i know that there is nothing else i could have or would have done. I have now cut ties with the community and made my own life, but even with all the hindsight, if i were to go back in time, i would do the same again. For some of us, it is not even about choice, it is about our survival.
        My husband has a friend. He and his wife were in ireland. She got pregnant but suffered some complications. The doctors refused to abort due to the laws of the country. She died. Her case made headlines across the world. Google Savita halappanavar if you havent heard of it. Worst part of it? She wasn’t even a christian. She was a hindu like me. We don’t have any particularly strong beliefs about abortion. Sure she wanted to be a mom, she was excited about it. But she also wanted to live. She was the only daughter of her parents who are still mourning for her. But she wasn’t given a choice, the system killed her. And thats what happens when Laws are made based on personal or religious beliefs.
        During the course of my work, i have seen kids who are neglected, abused and even killed by parents who are clearly not fit to be parents but gave birth anyway. I have seen such kids show criminal tendencies themselves. Abortion is not a simple question of religious beliefs, it is a question of the welfare and safety of society as a whole. A kid born to a drug-addict mom who didnt want him/her but couldnt get an abortion might endanger the lives of other kids whose parents live for them.
        For those who think about abortion as a religious issue – nobody is stopping you from following your beliefs. Just because someone else gets an abortion or marries a person of the same gender doesn’t mean your rights or beliefs are in any way threatened. But please understand that there are many people who do not follow your religion or your beliefs. There are people whose circumstances are beyond your imagination. Life is not just white people going to church. You have no idea what is at stake for some of us. Voting for a supremely unqualified, racist, sexist, bigot based on personal or religious beliefs is crazy. I understand that people have several reasons for voting for Trump, and some of them may be valid. But abortion or gay rights aren’t. Those are choices that are in no way threatening or affecting you or preventing you from following your religion so I don’t even understand how it could be the basis for a decision that affects the entire country.

  68. I appreciate you opening the conversation and for stating your thoughts today. I will only say this about the media portion of your commentary. The media has not been great during this election. Why is that? Has anyone LOOKED at the state of newsrooms now? Newspapers have always been the foundation of the U.S. media. They (generally speaking, there are exceptions, of course) have been the truth-tellers, the investigators, the unbiased sources of information. But newsrooms have been gutted. Professional journalists have been laid off left and right or have been forced to find other employment because being a newspaper reporter is one of the lowest paying professional jobs in the country. This has happened because the American people decided they don’t care about unbiased reporting. They don’t care about deep, investigative journalism. They want sensationalism, and they want all of it right now. And they CERTAINLY want it for free. Why pay for real news when you can go on Facebook and get some half-assed story from a partisan news source. How dare newspapers expect people to pay to read their website after they’ve used up their 10 free articles each month. It should be free! So yes, the media is letting the country down. But that’s because they have no money. Because the country decided that the fourth estate no longer matters. Newspaper have been the last line of defense in our system, the only people who are checking up those in positions of power, for centuries. Those that are left are hanging on by a thread and we have no one to blame but ourselves. You want to think about a scary world? Imagine one without newspapers. That’s a scary world.

    1. You are absolutely right. I think that what will emerge is a truly bi-partisan media source and one that will become wildly successful.

  69. Hi Emily,

    Thank you for bringing together a group of people who are willing to (to the best of their ability) to speak about this in a calm frame of mind.

    However, I think your definition of liberals is extremely dangerous. Both liberals and conservatives strive to care about people. You have allowed yourself to be put into a mindset of “us” verse “them”; the very thing that you dislike about Trump. I think we have all lost track a bit that we really are working towards the same goal. Nobody wants an abortion. Nobody wants the US to fall into a recession. Nobody wants to feel pessimistic about their future. The difference between conservatives and liberals (for the most part), is not the WHAT but the HOW. I think this is an important distinction that would be useful for our politicians to contemplate and communicate.

    Both candidates are completely flawed and have absolutely zero moral high ground over the American people. But for the life of me, I cannot comprehend how people who are disappointed with the outcome of the election don’t see the hypocrisy in name-calling the people that voted for Trump.

    Lastly, I found this quote insightful for understanding Trump voters. And really, optimistic: Salena Zito wrote in The Atlantic: “The press takes him literally, but not seriously; his supporters take him seriously, but not literally.”

  70. Thank you for this discussion. I think both of these posts have been incredibly powerful and have helped me understand different vantage points.

    I wanted to respond to the bit in your last paragraph about vaccination since I work in the field of public health. Vaccination as a means of providing immunity to infection or disease is founded in statistics and the scientific method. Public health is inherently a government function and the protection offered to a society (herd immunity) through vaccination breaks down or is less effective without government enforcement. Another way to phrase this – without governance herd immunity can fail. This does NOT mean that the science of herd immunity is a political issue that one can agree or disagree with. I encourage anyone that considers vaccination a philosophical issue or a personal choice to instead look into the math, the science of public health, and the supreme court case of Jacobson v. Massachusetts from 1905. Please do not distort scientific facts and evidence-based public health into bipartisan political issues.

  71. I appreciate this discussion so much, Emily.
    I voted for Hillary because she is experienced, tenacious, and smart as a whip. It’s devastating to me that Americans chose change over basic human decency.
    I am trying so hard to understand, but I dont see Trump’s policies helping the demographic that chose him. I hope I’m wrong. I hope to God I’m wrong.

  72. Thanks for this post Emily. Every thing you said I agree with completely. I was a fan of Hillary’s back when she ran against Obama and I am a fan of hers now. I was devastated to see that Trump won. Most of my friends were as well. None of us understood why a person would vote for a narcissist who said such hateful things. The comments on your last post at least helped me get a glimpse in to why people voted for him. I still don’t like it, but obviously I’m going to have to deal with it. That being said my plan is to get much more involved so that the things he said while stumping, like a ban on Muslims, don’t become reality.

  73. I voted for Hillary for some of the same reasons that you.
    I also voted for her because of my sister who is a Jew who married an Iranian American Man. He and his family came to this country during civil war in their country. They are the most generous and lovely people who made contributions to making this country a better place.
    I voted for Hillary because of my African American friend who worries each time her mixed race son walks down the street.
    I voted for Hillary because of my patients who benefitted from the Affordable Care Act. I’ve seen hundreds of working poor who were never able to afford insurance come in happy to finally have insurance and address their medical concerns. They are very worried about losing this benefit or right. I’ve seen young people in their 20s who have insurance because they can remain on their parent’s policies. I have seen people who would have previously been uninsured because of pre-existing conditions. Yes, there are problems with ACA – don’t get me wrong but it was a step in the right direction.
    I voted for Hillary because of Roe vs. Wade.
    I voted for Hillary because as an upper middle class American, it’s my duty to pay more taxes to support programs for those who have not had the same opportunities that I have.

    I want my president to be one of the smartest people in the room with a firm grasp of what it means to be president. Although Trump may be a brilliant businessman and salesperson, it does not appear that he really understands all the issues other than he wants to make change. I worry about Trump’s attention span.

    1. Agree 100%

    2. I completely agree on all points.

      While a Trump presidency and lower taxes based on my tax bracket actually will benefit me personally more directly, I voted for Clinton wholeheartedly and supported her candidacy from the very beginning because she is clearly the best option to improve things for EVERYONE in the U.S. She has worked and devoted her career to improving the lives of normal, working-class and middle-class families and knows the complicated forces shaping the issues in a way Trump simply does not. She understands these families and what it has meant to be left behind by the modern economy even better than Trump and Republican politicians do. I realize making a judgment regarding who understands them better is just that – a judgment – and others can disagree of course. But I have made my judgment based on their actual actions and track record. Hillary has worked to provide better access to healthcare and education for children (just a few examples: she co-founded the Arkansas Advocates for Children and Families and worked for the Children’s Defense Fund, helping families with children with disabilities, and supports paid family leave and equal pay, which are all crucial for healthy families able to support themselves). Trump had said he agrees with Clinton family leave, but other than those passive words, his experience certainly has not shown me that he cares or understands the complicated forces shaping normal, working families trying to get ahead in today’s world.

      I think support for Trump based on a desire for change is understandable at a very human level, but it is short-sighted. He’s a “breath of fresh[??] air”, sure, but not all change is good or helpful. The ideas and policies he has advocated will hurt the majority of Americans more than help them. I hope I’m wrong, but I see a further widening of economic opportunity in the U.S. (rich get richer, poor and middle-class get poorer) under a Trump administration, and many of the voters who pinned their hopes for improvement on him will be disappointed.

      And just to address a point made by some about a vote condoning even the bad behavior of a candidate… Yes, I think it does, and it goes both ways, both for Hillary’s less than admirable behavior, and Donald’s. There are some things I don’t like about what Clinton has done, like being stupid and using a private server for her emails, like becoming super cozy with Wall Street in her speaking circuit days, and I own that my vote implicitly communicates support of that. It’s part of a package deal. Even though I don’t like those things and voted in spite of them, sure I guess I voted “for” them, but it’s because I DON’T CARE enough about them to change my vote.*

      At the same time, I DO CARE about and could never even implicitly condone the type of blatantly racist, misogynistic, hate-filled language, policies and ideas that Trump has offered. I cannot be comfortable with that. I don’t see how anyone could be. A vote for Trump at best signals that you don’t care in the grand scheme of things that he has spoken and acted hatefully against the most marginalized groups in our country, or that those groups are undeserving of our compassion and empathy. Or maybe you care more about the specter of a private email server than you do about treatment of other human beings — however you want to characterize it, I don’t know. I’m not you. But I know that I CARE about how everyone, including less privileged people and those who have been historically discriminated against, are treated in America. That’s part of my vision about what our country should be about. And the message of so many votes looking the other way feels like a slap in the face.

      Sorry, I meant to basically just agree with Joan’s comment and then couldn’t stop myself. I could go on but I’ll leave it at that.

      * A few reasons why I don’t care about those specific blemishes on Clinton’s record: there’s been no evidence that her stupid decision (that everyone in the State department knew about — and others in government and public office have done without getting hammered — but didn’t become an issue until Republicans latched on to Benghazi as a path to knock her down) did not result in any documented actual harm or uncover any wrongdoing, and even if she has some Wall Street connections, they pale in comparison to the Republican Party’s and the actual impact that repeal of Dodd-Frank will have (which Trump has promised) on helping Wall Street at the expense of Main Street.

  74. I voted for Clinton for the majority of the reasons articulated by Emily – though I have to admit, I would never use the criminal/crime analogy when discussing abortion (seriously?) because it is NOT a crime for someone to have an abortion.

    I do not believe that the majority of Trump’s supporters are racists/sexists/xenphobes, etc. That said, I DO believe that they looked at that behavior, cataloged it, and then disregarded it in the same way that millions of people have done in the past to justify their selfish decisions. To me, that is even worse than being a racist because it’s possible to maybe use emotion or experience to change a racist’s mind. But people who are willing to look the other way disgust me.

    1. It was a metaphor!!! A terrible 12:30am metaphor. You know how I like analogies, metaphors, etc. I DO NOT THINK THAT ABORTION IS A CRIME. WHEN I SAID ‘PREVENT THE CRIME NOT BLAME THE CRIMINAL’ it was truly a metaphor. I’m so sorry. I don’t believe that and I edited it almost immediately. I will say that consistently don’t give the tools to people to succeed and such is the case in abortion. Make preventing it easy, not dealing with it as hard as it is.

  75. Full disclosure, I am a dyed-in-the-wool Democrat. I have never been undecided about a partisan election.

    I gladly voted for Clinton this year precisely because I think we need an insider more than ever. Living in such a divided atmosphere, we needed someone who’s actually experienced at making compromises. Obama’s outsider naivete about Washington politics made him poorly equipped for getting anything done once Dems lost the house. Clinton was exceptionally prepared for the job because she’s a woman. Working women everywhere know what I’m talking about. In order to succeed in a patriarchy, you can’t show all your cards. You have to be strategic. You have to lose some battles to win the war. This is what Clinton has built a lifetime of experience doing. This is why most people in the country voted for her on Tuesday.

    I left the Midwest for Washington to work for the federal government. I suppose that now I am one of those “Washington elites” so reviled by half the country. As a civil servant, I’m not exactly an insider but I’m sure it looks that way to just about everyone else. As an “insider,” I’ll agree that government is inefficient and wasteful. Both conservative and liberal policies have contributed to this: liberal federal hiring processes have handicapped agencies’ abilities to hire the best people for the job, period; and conservatives have been underresourcing (and outsourcing to contractors getting rich on taxpayer money) federal agencies for decades. So imagine you have 1/5 of the people you need to do the job right, and you are bound by arcane federal hiring policies that mean you can’t even hire the right people for those precious few slots. It’s no wonder government is broken, but that’s because it has been increasingly set up to fail.

    1. I work for the Federal Government (but not in DC) as well and wholeheartedly agree with this. We are set up to fail by being denied much needed resources in the areas of government that need them. I work in government because I am a civil servant and want to “serve” my country–it is a shame that this is derided so often.

      I also agree with the statement about working women. Everything we do as working women is seen through the lens of being a woman. I have to watch what I say or I will be considered too emotional or simply ignored. Thank you for your comment Natalie!

    2. I want to have lunch with you. And you are so right about Hillary and being a insider. Your insight is so fascinating and valuable. Thank you

      1. Fellow civil servant here, although on the state level. I’m appalled by how little Trump understands about how the government works. An “outsider” sounds nice, I suppose, but the government is an incredibly complex machine. It’s is NOT a business in any sense of the word, and while there are things the government could learn from the private sector, no country should or could run their government like a business. The election makes me wonder if we need to seriously upgrade the civics education in this country,

  76. Emily, I applaud you for reaching out to your readers to help you understand the reasons behind votes and the election results. Your post about why you voted for Clinton reinforces my admiration of your design and you as a person. The comments from yesterday’s post opened my eyes to an electorate that may not see the whole picture. (Or who might not want to see the whole picture in the first place). I believe that dialogue is so important. While discussing motivations behind a vote is one thing, understanding the actual impact of the election is another perspective that I’d like to share (and one that may be avoided or invisible to some).

    I woke up this morning, still fearful of what’s to come. While some communities are celebrating our new president-elect, other communities are already dealing with violence, hate speech, hate incidents and hate crimes. To discuss the election results without also considering the perspectives of people of color, LGBTQI, Muslims, and immigrants does not further the conversation and our understanding of the bigger picture.

    After the first day of taking in all the results (see https://twitter.com/i/moments/796417517157830656 ), I am disgusted by the assault and hate this election (and results) has encouraged. I am fearful for the children of my community but I am staying strong. This morning I read about Mexican children being taunted at school with other school kids chanting “build the wall” and women on college campuses being assaulted for wearing hijabs. This is just one day. I am angry (but not surprised). I want to stay hopeful but I am also afraid of what is to come. I cried with my students yesterday (all of whom are students of color, immigrants, and/or young women) and I will continue to support them in their healing during this time.

    1. Wow. A friend who is a 3rd grade teacher with many minorities as students told me last night it was a really hard day for her students; one in fact was scared his mom would be “murdered”. I mean, something is wrong when an 8 year old thinks something like that because of who was elected President.

      1. insane. that is so very, very, very, very sad. I’m actually now weeping for that family and i’m sure there are a lot of them in the US. Being a parent is hard enough. Navigating what now seems to be endemic racism is beyond the call of parenthood.

  77. Thank you Emily! One positive thing that has come out of this is that people are thinking and reexamining their perception of our Country and perhaps in the next election cycle, we will actually be more in tune with what is actually happening here.

    I enthusiastically voted for Hillary. She is a positive role model for women everywhere, she truly cares about educating our youth and bringing people together, she is unflappable (we saw a brief crack in that during her concession speech, but that made me like her even more), she is smart, and she has great ideas (health care for everyone originated with her if anyone remembers that). My concern about climate change was also a large factor and I worry about that the most with our president elect. I am pro choice and concerned about the future of the Supreme Court (which affects a lot more than pro-choice–money in politics, racial equality, etc). I could go on and on, but the long and short of it is that I believe that Hillary is a good person and wants our country to get along and make progress. AND, although secondary to my agreement with Hillary on the issues, I wanted a woman president. I see so much sexism in my own life and workplace and it would be so wonderful to have a woman in power (in our Country) to point to as an example to lift us up as women.

    I think that Hillary got an extremely bad rap. She couldn’t show emotion or she was an emotional woman. She couldn’t show no emotion because she was a cold bitch. She couldn’t have strong views on equality for women and be pro-choice because she was playing the woman card. Do I agree with the email debacle? No, but no other male official has ever had the same level of scrutiny applied for similar actions (I’m looking at you Colon Powell and let’s not even talk about the wrong doing of so many men during the Bush administration–that is for another day). That does not make it ok, but I think that the good enormously outweighs the bad when it comes to Hillary.

    I will stop there, but could go on all day. Thank you again Emily for your honesty and openmindedness and openheartedness!

  78. Thankyou Emily. I voted for Hillary , proud of a woman, and also to blockI loved her intelligence, thought she had no choice but to be hard after all the attacks/ limitations as a woman she faced.
    As a far left liberal I do feel the elite in this country have been taking care of themselves, not everyone’s needs.
    The one hope I find, is that the system, as much as I fear Trump, created a demand to attend to everyone, and struggling folks claimed some power. I don’t believe nationalism is the answer, but I get the fear .
    According to research,( and yes, polls) most Americans don’t love guns. This is another voice not heard, drowned out by the NRA. Big business ,in my opinion, has more power than democrats or republicans.
    Lastly, I’d like to add a significant source of homelessness, one that can get everyone except the wealthy. Medical care is the source of more than 50% of all bankruptcies. Few among us would hesitate to spend every last dime to save our loved ones. after you are bankrupt, homelessness is not far behind, esp. if you lose work,health insurance as you had to care, (or were) for someone ill in your family. (and yes, mental illness is poor health too.)
    Let us remember ,the folks in the streets are using their voices, as others used their votes, all the rights we should protect as american values. keep the faith all, look for all the ways we are the same, and let’s take care of us all.

  79. I rarely comment on blogs, but I admire your courage for opening the discourse and your kind, articulate response. Every one of your words resonates with me, my belief, and how I view this world. Let’s all be kind and do good, first and foremost.

  80. My first and foremost problem with liberals is how in the name of all things sacred can you think that big government can know what’s best for grown ass men and women? Name me ONE agency that works efficiently, under budget, etc? Do you love to go to the DMV? I do worry about “kids” under 40 may not be able to think with any common sense about what’s best for them as our education system has definitely been dumbed down.
    Trump has built a multi billion company, hired thousands of people and someone with that kind of success can’t be too stupid to run this country. It’s about time we had someone with business experience instead of spending their entire life in politics.
    All these people who are rioting are sore losers! Do you think we were happy with 8 years of Obama and his failed policies? Did we take to the streets? What do they hope to accomplish?
    I applaud your comments about having a civil discussion and learning what makes “us” tick. We love people and want to help them, but we think the private sector should do that job.

    1. The DMV works really well in my city. I don’t *enjoy* it, per se, but that’s not the point of it. It gets the job done, and it is convenient.

      I think NASA works pretty well. Sometimes projects go over budget, but they are doing really hard things that no one has done before, so that is to be expected. It’s true that finally, finally private companies are starting to do some things that overlap with NASA, but it’s a sector that has previously been ignored by the private sector.

      The National Institute for Health has been hugely successful and impactful.

      The National Science Foundation has had profound impact on so many people.

      The Center for Disease Control.

      The roads in my area could use some work, that is true! But they are good enough that I can get to work easily every day, and I don’t think any private company would have made that possible.

      I think people underestimate how much what they do is built upon things that are built or developed by the government. There are things you can do when you bundle money that are much harder if you have to produce a profit on a relatively short timescale.

    2. Liberal governments give you choice.

      People take to the streets because a man who assaulted women and said he would ship how americans because of their ethnicity and religion.

      Also Trump has underpaid scores of workers and filed for bankruptcy multiple times. And doesn’t pay taxes. I would not say he is a great a businessman, but a criminal.

      Do you know any institution that runs perfectly? Would you prefer the DMV not to exist? Imagine it. Would you prefer no one checking our drinking water?

      1. Thank you for your comment, Dianna. It was a good and painful reminder.

        1. Do you think having to spend too much time at the DMV is more of a hardship than what non-rich white people will now have to go through? What was that incredibly short-sighted, privileged and literally OFF POINT comment a good and painful reminder of? I am so sorry if I misinterpreted your response, I really hope I have.
          And to respond to you, Dianna – you’re right, the American school system sucks – that’s exactly why these ‘grown ass men and women’ DON’T know whats best for them. And because you contradicted yourself in your very short, very narrow-mind comment, I have more support for my view that their needs to be a higher, empathetic authority that has ALL our interests in mind. Not just wait times at the DMV for the very privileged.

  81. Well said, Emily! Thank you for being so open and honest about your views and how you’ve formed them. I have so much respect for you to share this.

    I supported Hillary for many reasons:
    – her views on equality and support of all people
    – her pro-choice view and the way she articulated it in the debates
    – her views on climate change and prioritizing it as an urgent threat
    – the fact that she stood up to an old white man who degraded her, called her names, and acknowledged it was unacceptable
    – family leave
    – her ability to work across the aisle, listen, and find common ground
    – her upbringing and self-direction to help children and families
    – the way she’s handled herself against criticism and a very public marital scandal
    – her preparation and realistic goals
    – and so many others

    A top one for me, even above equality, is climate change. I just watched Leonardo DiCaprio’s new film, Before The Flood, along with An Inconvenient Truth, and am so pessimistic with Trump holding office and not taking action, or rather undoing the action that Obama set forth. If we don’t act soon, there is going to be so much chaos in the next 30 years and I am terrified. Imagine if our largest cities (Miami, Boston, NYC, SF, LA) begin to flood, plus other islands and countries around the world. So many migrants, so much famine… real climate war. I HATE that Trump and so many others are denying the facts that is unanimous among scientists. We are at a tipping point and I don’t trust Trump to take it seriously.

    Anyway, I wish Hillary would have won, period. It feels like we have a major education problem, not just K-12, but adults in this country who expect too much from government and not enough of themselves. Technology has affected our economy and jobs, and that direction is not turning back. Education and CONTINUING education are so important in order to compete in today’s world.

  82. Emily, I read an article last night that I believe is really spot on for a good portion of “red” America.


    I was born and raised in a red parish (county) in northeast Louisiana. And much like the author of this article, I eventually moved away to a blue parish. This article rings very true for me. Fortunately or unfortunately, I remain a Conservative Republican. I appreciate both sides though.

    1. wow and ouch. I read an article with a similar tone and the sentence/idea struck with me that “If your point is getting a brick thrown through a window then you don’t really care who does the throwing as long as they’re willing to do it.” (paraphrase)

  83. I am a conservative (okay, moderate) who voted for Trump and I love this so much. Thanks for expressing your feelings gracefully and respectfully. We have so much common ground. Believe that. There are solutions and compromises that work.

  84. Emily,
    I enjoyed reading your perspective on why you voted for Hillary Clinton. Progressive liberals who keep saying they are stunned or horrified by the results of Tuesdays election should be putting away their big box of tissues, drying their eyes and instead ask themselves why they were living in such a bubble? They refused to open their minds or their ears enough to hear what so many of their fellow Americans where saying.

    Someone living in California or any other progressive state cant always relate to someone living in Michigan or Ohio working in the auto industry or manufacturing who has just been given a pink slip because his/her job is moving to Mexico. Well, Democrats get it now believe me.

    Last night in my city (Richmond, VA) there were protests in the streets objecting the Trump presidency. I didn’t vote for Obama eight years ago or four years ago for that matter. But I accepted the results as did millions of others without protest and got behind the country. I understood why so many people after 8 years of a Bush presidency wanted a different direction for the country. Now after 8 years of a Obama presidency, many Americans aren’t happy with the direction that has gone either and are willing to give an “outsider” a chance as they have tired of career politicians and the establishment.

    What many especially younger people don’t understand is that a President isn’t elected by the popular vote but by the electoral vote. (Everyone must have been sleeping in Government class or they didn’t teach it.) You don’t vote in a national election but rather in a state by state election when voting for President. So maybe its time for many of us to brush up on the Constitution and how this complicated process works before heading to the ballot box again in four years and before you want to “protest” the results of an election.

    In summary, Hillary lost because she didn’t run a good campaign, didn’t get the base of voters especially African Americans that Obama did and wasn’t as popular with younger voters. They really under-estimated the Trump movement. Lesson learned.

    1. What I learned in school was that the electoral college would always follow the popular vote and if it didn’t, there would be blood in the streets. Now it’s happened twice in the last 20 years, both times favoring the republican candidate. My vote is absolutely worthless because I live in a city. It’s time to change the constitution and abolish the electoral college. We are not a rural country anymore.

      1. Could you elaborate more on these points?

        “electoral college would always follow the popular vote” Doesn’t it do this on a state-by-state basis? The popular vote for a state determines which candidate receives that state’s electoral votes. Either all or split, as determined by that state’s laws. Am I missing something?

        “vote is absolutely worthless because I live in a city” How so? Doesn’t your one vote join all the other single votes in your precinct?

        “We are not a rural country anymore” Our country is big, wouldn’t you say? In addition to diversity in race, economic, and other factors, there is quite a bit of diversity in the locations that people live in. That’s one factor in why there are not always simple answers to complex questions. Different locations and different population densities have different needs. It’s also why some issues are most efficiently addressed at the local and state level. Not everyone lives in a city. (I actually do live in a city, but I am amazed at the diversity of the geographic and population densities that the US encompasses.)

    2. Kerry’s loss was much easier for me to stomach because he lost the popular vote and electoral college, just like McCain and Romney did.

      Do you truly believe if Trump had lost the electoral college and won the popular vote his supporters would have accepted this loss? Or that he would have conceded, let alone with the grace and calls for unity Hillary did? If so, you saw a very different candidate than the one I did, telling the country he’d keep us in “suspense” re: if he’d concede under any circumstances.

      The calls for “big girl pants,” etc. are smug (an accusation often leveled at liberals that is really just a sore-winner human impulse) and make it hard to move forward. While this forum has 100% been my favorite place on the internet post-election because of the respectful nature of the comments, I don’t remember McCain/Romney supporters doing this kind of outreach and introspection re: why their candidate lost (and being indicted about how it’s their fault because they don’t understand our country). Only liberals seem to be willing or expected to do this self-flagellation.

      1. Our founders knew the electoral college was important even though it doesn’t always seem fair. They knew we would grow larger some day. No politician would bother going to the farm areas for their opinion or to the lesser populated states. You would never see a politician in Idaho. The people of California and New York would get to decide the Presidency. How much time do both candidates spend in Iowa and Nevada?….a lot! Look at the electoral map….it is mostly red!! The only reason Hillary got the popular vote was because of New York and California.

    3. Can I ask, sincerely, did you ENJOY voting for Trump? Did you not have any difficulty coming to terms with the actual character your messenger displayed? I hope the answer is no, but what I’m getting at is that 99% of Democrats who are beyond upset and protesting are doing so because this was so clearly NOT an ordinary election (the furthest thing from it). Calling us crybabies (not you specifically, but you are far from the first conservative to tell us to put away our box of tissues) is to suggest that Trump is like any other Republican candidate. I encourage you to be a bit more sympathetic, especially considering the hoards of Trump supporters who threatened to take to the streets with their guns if Hillary was elected, with the ENCOURAGEMENT of the very man who will become our next president. A man who repeatedly said that the election is “rigged”. The vast majority of protests occurring are peaceful. Conservatives claim to care so much about exercising our “freedoms” and our county was founded out of protest. So I really encourage you to think twice before using the “box of tissues” line again.

      1. I would also ask….did you ENJOY voting for Hillary? I found her to be a liar. I did NOT enjoy voting for Trump, either. She certainly lied over and over again about her emails. She said she did not send classified information and that she used one device. She destroyed 30,000 emails after receiving a subpoena. At her interview she said 39 times that “she did not recall” something. She said she did not know that a “C” meant classified. She did not recall taking a class on classification. My husband is old and he still remembers his classified information class in the Army. He said it kind of scared him. You can argue that Trump is a liar, too, but please don’t tell me that Hillary isn’t.

    4. We all live in bubbles. Conservatives are just as guilty: http://www.rollcall.com/news/opinion/im-a-coastal-elite-from-the-midwest-the-real-bubble-is-rural-america

      You can’t say that those in California don’t get those in Michigan while also acknowledging that Michiganers don’t understand Californians and that they have issues that are just as valid. You also can’t pretend that everyone accepted Obama when you had tea party protests regularly, Congress protested by failing to even hold hearing on Supreme Court Justices, and many others.

      Maybe liberals don’t get conservatives but you don’t get us either. I feel like Democrats over the years have done a great job on attempting to compromise and part of me wants them to keep it up and part of me wants them to stop because Republicans do not compromise when they are in charge. Every state is real America and we all have issues that matter to us. It’s a shame when some people can’t extend the empathy to see that.

  85. Emily, I so respect you and what you have to say in this post. I am 100% with you, and dare I say, you are showing much more grace than I could. I have been keeping an open mind, but there’s still work to do. I hope we all take this to heart, and begin really listening to the other side. What’s done is done, and now we need to march on. Thank you.

  86. Emily, first let me thank you for writing this piece – I’m sure for you it was partly coping mechanism and it helped me in that way too. I have not read the comments on your other piece yet, but I think I will next week after my current feelings have diminished.

    I wish we could have had more discussions like this before the election – you’ve done such a good job here of saying what we as liberals can never get across to those across the aisle.

    As for why I voted for Hillary: She told me what she planned to do and how she planned to do it. I agreed with her plan and I know she has the experience to do it.

  87. Well said Emily. I voted for HRC for all of the same reasons you did. Mine and my husband’s salary puts us in the upper middle class by countrywide standards but we live close to the city of Boston and though we have worked really hard, so much of our money goes to our modest home (yet very large) mortgage, and childcare…it is very easy to fantasize about what we could do with the extra money promised from Trump’s tax cuts, I can see how people rationalize their support by saying ‘I’ve worked hard, I’ve made good choices, I DESERVE to reap the benefits. But I was raised to always “walk a mile in their shoes” before passing judgement or acting entitled. When I think about Syrian refugees, I think of young children who spent their night freezing on a raft in the middle of the ocean, separated from their families and full of fear, then I watch my young son sleeping peacefully in his bed and my heart aches. When I speak to my MIL, who is a conservative Republican Christian about refugees and immigrants she speaks about ‘rapists, and terrorists’…now she is one of the most loving and selfless woman I know, but she is lead by fear, not by compassion.
    I pay a lot for health insurance even though I work for a large company, of course it’d be great to pay less! I take care of myself, I am healthy, why am I ‘subsidizing’ those who aren’t? Then I think about the self-employed, small business owners, etc. prior to ACA who had pre-existing conditions, who had children with CANCER who could not get insurance, imagine what it would be like to sell everything you own so your child can get the treatment they need? If we completely repeal the ACA what will happen to these people? I heard a lot of Trump supporters talk about how ACA premiums are increasing by crazy amounts and concluding it isn’t affordable, and that’s the stance you could take if you simply read the news headers or listen to biased media because the truth is ACA subsidizes those making up to 400% of the poverty level insuring they pay no more than 9.5% of their income on health insurance. Those who make over 400% PL, don’t have those subsidies but I wonder, what did you do before ACA? Trust me, I don’t enjoy paying the high deductible but I see value in having some skin in the game and maybe another incentive to stay healthy. I can’t ‘blame the president’ on this one, but if blaming someone makes me feel better, I might look to those who smoke cigarettes or lead unhealthy lives otherwise.
    When I think about guns I really don’t understand the argument against waiting periods and background checks. I’d go even farther to require mental health checks, and gun safety courses. The only reason I have heard opposing stricter gun control is that it is “our 2nd amendment right”…okay, I ask those same people who hold so dear the laws written in the late 1700’s, how then are they anti-immigration? Don’t they realize that is precisely how this country came to be? Again, I think about those 20 children from Newtown. I think about their parents wondering ‘what if’. What if any one of these gun control measures could prevent the death of your child, would you not change your position? The response I have heard to this is…”well if more people carried guns then they could have stopped the shooter”. How crazy does that sound? Imagine a world where your kindergarten teacher has a gun, where everyone is just walking around with guns because they have to ‘protect’ themselves? That sounds like some scary alternate world movie I definitely want no part of. I’m also fairly certain if I (5’1 petite woman) had a gun it would take all of 3 seconds for a strong man to knock it straight out of my hands and use it against me.
    I think about abortion…oh and how this was a big one with many religious Trump supporters. Can someone tell me why this is anything but one’s personal decision? I personally chose for myself not to have an abortion. I’m not comfortable with late term abortions of healthy babies who can survive outside the womb, there are many great parents awaiting adoption. To me life begins, when you can survive without an umbilical cord. But you know what? Yay for me I’ve never had to make that decision. So pro-lifers say yes to having a drug addicted unstable mother bring a child into this world, a child who may likely never get the care and love they need (or deserve) to thrive. Interesting how you also tend to be against welfare and “government-handouts”…this is pro life? NO- you are pro life before birth, but after? Well fend for yourself.
    I’m not going to even mention climate change, except oh wait I just did.

    Too much hypocrisy, not enough compassion. Not enough due-diligence into understanding the issues and what the causes are. So many ignorant blanket statements like ‘HRC kills babies’, etc. I was happy to find a few seemingly well thought out reasons for voting for Trump yesterday, because I hadn’t heard any to date. But still most of them were self-serving. I also love Obama, and I’m sad because I know he would’ve done so much more for our country if not for all the partisan roadblocks. It bugged me to the core when people would say ‘I hate Obama’ and ‘he’s the worst president’ so because Trump is the president elect, I am going to chose to respect him and try to forget everything he said up until his acceptance speech. If he says he wants to unite us all, I want to believe him…HRC said yesterday, give him a chance and that I will.

    1. Well said

  88. Why I voted for Hillary: I believe in her message of inclusion and outreach. I believe that equality=freedom. How can we be free if we do not have equality? I, too want someone with experience in politics because that person will be more informed about how to get things done and have more resources and experience to develop smarter solutions for national and international issues. When republicans said “a vote for Hillary is a vote for four more years of Obama”, I was like SWEET, that’s exactly what I want, but with a democratic congress so at least a minimal amount of their ideas could actually have a chance of happening. I agree with her idea to fix what’s broken about Obamacare rather than scrap the whole thing, because I believe that Obama knew from the start that the plan wasn’t (and couldn’t be) perfect but we have to start somewhere and the idea that we all have access to health care is a good thing. I perceive Hillary to be respectful, highly intelligent, eloquent, someone who truly cares about people, and someone who acknowledges and adapts to what the world looks like today and the forward-thinking leadership role the US could have in this world. Throughout her campaign, Hillary addressed issues in an informed manner, with thought-out strategies and concrete ideas, and her statements were backed by facts.

    I share Emily’s opinion of Trump as stated in this post, and the fears, so there’s no need for me to pile on. But I would like to add a plea to the republican party to discard their baffling anti-science stance. One doesn’t need to deny scientific facts to be conservative. Acknowledging climate change and developing new energy resources and technologies is an economic/job growth opportunity. Our food and water supplies require a healthy ecosystem, we have the information and tools to make that happen. There are so many important issues in which I will never agree with the republican party, but this one seems like such an immediately resolvable disconnect. It just requires a little bit of willingness to learn and to adapt to what the earth actually looks like today and the understanding that we need to protect our own habitat.

  89. I like your statement about liberals value equality over freedom whereas conservatives value freedom over equality. That resonates with me. I consider myself somewhere down the middle of the spectrum. Socially liberal, fiscally conservative. And I think if there was a way to poll for that we would find a great number of us. Unfortunately our media and politics have made this into a zero sum game / reality show (with reality stars!). Your either all liberal or all conservative. Black or white. Yes or No. Beef or chicken (needed to inject some humor since I have been too sad to laugh).

    Finding credible sources to learn about other viewpoints is difficult to say the least. Human behavior is to seek out information that supports our biases so we can feel good about our position. I tend to read NYT, Wash Post, etc., and although they try to report both sides of issues, that liberal intelligentsia snark always seems to be there. I cannot even begin with the Fox News’ of the world so we are both pretty guilty of staying within our bubbles.

    I voted for Hillary for many of the reasons already stated. She’s qualified, smart, hardworking and dedicated to causes that I care about. She was never perfect (who is?) and has lived under a microscope since Bill became president. She did not fit the stereotype of First Lady and became suspect from the get go. I truly believe that having a woman, this woman, in the highest office would be good for the country and the world. Like Margaret Thatcher said “If you want something said, ask a man; if you want something done, ask a woman.”

  90. Well said Emily. Both parties presented flawed candidates for President this year and had Hillary won, I’m sure the other side would be feeling the same frustration and devastation. I voted for Hillary for several reasons. Like you, I think a career civil servant and someone who has been involved in our government and civil service for most of their life is a not necessarily a bad thing. Am I happy that buddyism exists? That favors occur? No – but I also believe you must understand our government, it’s protections, it’s laws, and fundamentally be open to listening to the other side. This I believe Hillary has because she has spent years in public service and has had to be bi-partisan. Trump proved throughout his campaign that he did not have a clear understanding of how our government works nor did he prove he was able to listen objectively to reasonable arguments. And It’s impossible for me to believe that “I can fix this. I’m the only one that can fix it” is a policy or a guideline for how to “make American great again”. I voted for Hillary as I wanted to be sure that our next Supreme Court Justice (s) were non partisan and party aligned. Our judges are suppose to be above politics, as they are to interpret the law, and therefore, their selection should also be non-partisan. One of the basic tenets of our laws is our Commander in Chief to be able to present a candidate for the supreme court to be ratified by the legislative body when an opening occurs. Republicans – and Trump and his supporters – actively engaged in standing against the Constitution of the United States in refusing to even look at any candidate that President Obama nominated. I voted for Hillary as I believe she will continue to support a woman’s right to choose and not overturn Roe v Wade. As with you, no one wants to have an abortion, but there are women where that is their only choice. If we refuse to provide sex education and effective and affordable birth control (although I love your free idea) to all women, then we must be able to protect their right to manage their body. When our country was founded, separation of church and state was one of the overriding reasons for our government, and as I see it, the only people who stand against a woman’s right to choose are using religious reasons and offering no other policies or changes to prevent unwanted pregnancies. Therefore we must protect a woman’s right to choose. And I have to remind everyone, that making abortions illegal does not eradicate abortions (sadly this is what my 10 year old step son use to think). What it does is send poorer women to back alley doctors and unsafe/unclean situations to have them performed, while women with means have the ability to travel for secure and safe abortion. That’s how it was before and there’s no reason to believe it wouldn’t happen again. I voted for Hillary because I felt she would protect those of less fortune than her. Her record shows that – she’s dedicated her entire life to civil service and giving to others. Has she managed to get rich herself, yes, but that does not eliminate the good she has done in trying to provide equal access to all citizens. I voted for Hillary because I don’t believe she’s a criminal. In reading through posts from people who said she was a criminal – not one of them was able to provide verifiable proof that she engaged in criminal acts. Do i think it was smart that she used a personal computer/device for emails, no – but after being reviewed not once but twice by the FBI, it was found there was nothing criminal, nor even threatening to our national security in her emails. So you got to let that go. Trump on the other hand challenged a foreign power to “hack” into our computer systems. That my friends is treason and it doesn’t matter that he said he was kidding (he wasn’t) as it opened a crack for our enemies to use to divide us. I voted for Hillary because she does support reasonable gun legislation. When our founding fathers wrote the constitution and added the right to keep and bear arms they did so because our country was at the beginning of it’s life and they could never have foreseen that we would have the types of weapons we have today. Most United States citizens believe in a better form of gun control – no one – including Hillary is saying “get rid of the guns”, but of course, if you don’t do your research, you don’t know that because you’re listening to the NRA who has a vested interest in gun proliferation. Why don’t we want all guns registered, can someone answer where the danger in that exists? Why don’t we want to limit the quantity of guns one person can have? Why don’t we want all gun sales recorded whether it be private, gun shows or gun stores? Many of the Trump voters stated “Benghazi” as their reason for not voting for Hillary. First, if it were possible to lay blame for such a tragic situation, it can’t lay at one person’s feet. It must also be laid at the feet of the government that put us on this path of war in the Middle East (I believe this was George W Bush). It must also be laid at our policies that do not address why other’s hate us, they just make other’s hate us. And finally, it was a war zone setting. Sadly, people die in war zone settings. Did we not do enough to ensure the safety of those in harms way in Benghazi? Maybe, but hind sight is 20-20 and again, it can not be laid at one person’s feet. And I also think it’s a contradiction that you can hold Hillary in such disdain for Benghazi but also be against any form or reasonable gun control in the United States. As tragic as Benghazi was, the people who died there were aware of the risks they were taking. I can not say the same for the school children at Sandy Hook, the movie goers in Aurora Colorado, the dancers in Orlando Fl and I could go on, but believe I’ve made my point. To your responders regarding immigrants from Mexico coming into our country to take our jobs. Where are those jobs? Where are the united states citizens lining up to take those jobs? I live in Texas – we have a huge Hispanic population – both those that entered our country legally and those that didn’t. Its been my experience that the ones that enter illegally are not taking jobs away from our citizens. They are paid less than minimum wage, their work hours are longer as they are not monitored by state or federal agencies since they are here illegally, and the jobs they are taking are largely manual labor. If we want to correct immigrants crossing our borders to work for peanuts, then we need to go after the companies, people, farms and ranches that hire them. But as long as these places exist that will use immigrant labor because they can pay them less and work them harder, people in need of jobs will cross the border. I voted for Hillary because she didn’t say she’d lower my taxes. Gosh as an upper middle class white woman I’d love to pay less taxes; yet I also know what’s at stake should my taxes be lowered. How do we pay for the social programs we need in this country and how do we maintain our infrastructure? How do we fund education and health care? And since so many of you mentioned a stronger military & more military funding is why you voted for Trump, How? He doesn’t have a plan for that or if he did, it was kept secret. I don’t begrudge a single dime I pay in taxes as long as my government is spending my money to help others less fortunate than me, protect me and my family from harm, and doing it’s best to represent all it’s citizens. Sadly my friends, that takes taxes. And if you’re so upset about taxes, then some of your anger should be turned to Trump and those like him that use loopholes to avoid paying their proportion of taxes. People using these loopholes to avoid paying their proportionate share of taxes, causes your tax burden to rise. It’s also hard to say anything about Trumps taxes since he failed to release them. Finally, I voted for Hillary because I – like Emily and many others – truly love President Obama. When he was elected President his was an aspirational and inspirational message to our country. The mere fact of him being African American told me how Great our Country is and how Great our country can be. The programs he put in place – including the Affordable Care Act – that though flawed, at least was an attempt to provide health care to those that were not covered (and let’s keep in mind, what we got was a very watered down version of the original act as universal health care became a very partisan issue). Jobs increased, employment numbers improved, an overall healthier economy emerged. I believe Hillary would have continued us on that path. For those people in factory towns hurt by businesses going overseas – since the Trump clothing line is largely manufactured overseas, do you really believe he will bring businesses back? His responses when questioned on this were always “they don’t make that stuff here anymore”. Well isn’t that the point? In order to make them here, it will cost more to manufacture them – as we have to pay minimum wage and abide by 40 hour work weeks. So, I hope I’m wrong and that those of you who voted for Trump because you felt he would bring manufacturing back to your town are correct, but certainly you can understand my cynicism. And for those of you in our farmlands and smaller communities where jobs – or salary for jobs – you feel have not improved under President Obama. I’m sorry and have to admit, I don’t know much about that but assure you I will research it to see what has occurred and will support Trump in any initiatives that do address that. To do so may require my taxes to be raised, and as I stated above, if it’s good for the country and good for our people, just raise my taxes.

    This election was incredibly divisive and showed how different we are in our wants and our needs. The good thing I garnered from reading all the comments on Emily’s site yesterday was that everyone that voted is passionate about who they voted for and this country. I voted for Hillary because I felt she would be better at unifying our country – her campaign was largely more upbeat and positive than Trumps. Through the words Trump used throughout his campaign to insult others, I just did not believe he could unify all our citizens, including all people of color, sexual orientation, geographic locale, and immigrants – that by his own words he was incredibly decisive. My hope now is that it was truly just an act by a reality TV star to win an election – which although still leaves a bad taste in my mouth about his character – provides me some sense of calm that his bark might be worse than his bite.

    Thank you Emily again for providing your design blog for people from both sides to offer their thoughts, hopes and insight about this election. I know some might say it’s not appropriate, but I assure you having a pretty and happy home can only be accomplished if you feel you are in safe and caring environment. And for us citizens, there is little more important than who we elect as our leader.

    1. Thank you Gayle. That was so thoughtful and extremely well articulated. I agree with you in a lot of ways about buddyism. As a blogger/influencer (which is wildly less important or effective as politicians) i’m friends with lots of ‘influencers’. Our friendships stem from actual connection and ‘like’ of each other, but yes, we also promote each others work because we know that by helping each other we help ourselves when we need something to be promoted. This exists in every single industry so to pretend that it doesn’t exist in politics is a fools errand. But I do see all the people who are sick of this because when it comes to politics its not people recommending a particular throw pillow, its policy that can effect families in a devastating way. So I get both sides.

  91. If Trump had been a democrat, I would have voted for the republican nominee. I am an independent and not tied to any party.

    My values and my heart could never cast my sacred vote to be aligned with Trump. As someone whose health insurance premiums have doubled with Obamacare and the wife of an Army veteran who feels a larger military is essential, I did not choose my needs over what I determined to be the needs of humanity. The number one need I felt our country deserved was to not be represented by a person of hate.

    I am scared about, what I feel is an ethical choice made by purpose or by default (it doesn’t matter in the end), by half of our society.

    Maybe it feels like theatrics or the soreness of losers to be so heavily depressed by this election to the Trump voters, but to most Americans (let’s not forget the majority did not vote in his favor) this race was different. This election was different. The rhetoric of the Trump campaign made me appalled and it is appalling to me that so many people overlooked it. To me it was a choice between a flawed politician and the epitome of sin. To me, it was an obvious moral decision. The thought of President Obama having to welcome the man who did not decline the support of the KKK into his home brings me to my knees with anguish. I am a privileged white woman and I cry tears for my sisters and brothers of other races because I feel like our country has blatantly condoned racism. I cry for my gay brothers and sisters because I am terrified for their future rights. I cry for myself, my daughter and all of the women of this country because I feel like obvious examples of sexual misconduct towards our gender were dismissed. I think what burdens those of us who could not fathom voting for Trump is that, to us, it feels like evil has won.

    Maya Angelou said it best, “The needs of a society determine its ethics.”

    It seems equality was not on America’s “needs” list.

    1. That is so depressing but I fear you are right. It will always be on my ‘need’ list.

    2. Thank you.

  92. Beautifully articulated.

  93. I’m amazed and proud that you wrote this. Protecting a brand, not alienating people, this could seem scary to write. But I agree 100% with everything. you. wrote.
    My theory on gov’t is that it is there to help us be better: we all have moments when we are down and the gov’t is there to help because we are better collectively. That’s what I want. I want them to be there when I’m sick and can’t work (Healthcare NOT tied to my job), to keep me safe (Gun control), to educate a new generation (education policy and investment in schools), to help prevent unwanted children and cycles of abuse and poverty (women’s reproductive rights starting with birth control access and options), to protect our one and only planet (environmental stewardship).
    I guess I just don’t understand why people DON’T want those things. When they don’t want to take care of people, knowing that at some point they too will need help.

  94. Brava! What a thoughtful, nuanced perspective. I have always enjoyed your blog, but I have a newfound respect for you as a thinking human being and caring citizen. Thank you.

  95. great post. well said!

  96. Thank you so much for this. Somehow you managed to take all my thoughts on this election and put it eloquently into words. I feel so much better reading this now. We do have a lot of work ahead of us as liberals, but I think/hope we are poised well to do so. I agree completely that education (of all sorts and from all sources) is key for everyone moving forward and our country becoming a better place. I didn’t realize how deeply divided and seemingly broken it was because I live in an academic liberal bubble. It’s my job now to expand my horizons and learn about the other side, and I hope others do the same.

  97. This is THE BEST response to the election I’ve seen yet. THANK YOU for such an enlightened, thoughtful, sincere, truly great post. You rock Emily!

  98. WONDERFUL post!!! You are so right – as liberals we need to be open minded – and that now includes accepting Trump as our president. I voted for Hillary, for all the same reasons you did. There were a lot of things in her past that I did not like, but as a person she inspired me SO MUCH MORE than Trump did. I connected with her. All that to say, a part of me did and does feel having a non career politician in office could help us a lot. I just wish it couldn’t have been someone else. My husband (who is former military) voted for Trump b/c he saw too much damage done by Hillary (specifically with the military) while she was in power and I respect that. It affected him on a VERY personal level. But I will say being a divided household in this election was tough on us. We both felt so passionately about it – we had to stop talking about it. I am hoping for the best and do hope he does a good job – we all depend on it!

    1. Thank you so much for your comment. Would you mind telling us more about why your husband doesn’t like hillary? This might see naive, but was it because of Benghazi or is there more? When it comes to national/foreign relations Hillary was far and wide so much better, smart and more articulate so she must have made decisions that were regretful for your husband to vote Trump. Mind telling us (and in case that sounded passive aggressive, it truly isn’t … i’m so curious and would love to be more educated).

      1. Benghazi is a big part of it. He was an Army Ranger and saw and knows a lot more about what happens in a war than I do. But he truly feels like they (she) left those Americans to die and as a Ranger (or any military member) that is completely unacceptable. You never leave someone behind. I know it’s more complicated than that, but at the end of the day that’s a big part of it for him. Also, the emails. He just said to me last night, “Do you know what would have happened to me if I had just one email like that on my personal computer? I would be in jail. For a very long time.” And he obvi had a much lower security clearance. So to him, she very much knowingly compromised our national security and to him, that is also unacceptable. To him it’s very black and white and he takes matters of security very seriously. He said how can I vote for someone who I know has already made very poor judgement calls on that? I hope this helps explain it a little!

  99. I love this so much. It captures much of my thoughts about the situation our country currently faces. I, too, live in a liberal bubble outside of DC. I woke up yesterday very sad, but I will likely be okay regardless of what policies Trump brings forth, but many living very near me now face uncertainty and fear. I do think liberals have a more collectivist viewpoint and conservatives tend to have more individualist views. I just wish as a country we could meet somewhere in the middle on things. Neither side’s viewpoints are 100% wrong or right, but things have become so polarized I think this is what many people believe. Why can’t we work on compromises?

    And for your viewing pleasure: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_26FOHoaC78
    This is a song I used to play in my preschool special education classroom during music and movement time. Picture children of all abilities, with different color skin, from different countries and economic situations, dancing around the classroom to this song, waving scarves. You’re welcome. 😉

  100. I voted for Hillary for lots of reasons. The Obama 8 years has been good for me and more of the same would be great. I preferred Bernie, but was fully able to support Hillary. The main reasons I vote Dem is that I’m for family leave, sex education, access to birth control, and socially liberal justices. I don’t want an abortion and never will, but that doesn’t blind me from the painful experiences of other women. If any of you voted for Donald primarily because you are pro-life, I beg your take on this article: http://www.shannondingle.com/blog//im-pro-life-and-im-voting-for-hillary-heres-why

    I know there’s a new, modernized Pro-Life movement, but Trump and Pence are NOT on that raft. Pence was picked particularly for this reason.

    The last thing I need to say is that, as you said Emily, liberals listen. They are empathetic and open-minded. We will continue this. But are conservatives doing the same? Doesn’t seem so. A lot of conservatives have been “silent” in their support for Trump because they think liberals are not open-minded. They’ve been mocked for being close-minded or racist or sexist or xenophobic when they show support. Have they taken a hard look at themselves and wondered why?

    1. I would like to add one thing that matters to me and seemingly not to Trump – the environment. I believe Hillary and the Dems do a lot more to protect our natural resources and fight climate change. Mother nature to me is what an embryo is to pro-lifers – sacred. I sadly expect more stories like Flint, Michigan and pollution/poisoning from fracking, etc. under Trump.

    2. I am prolife and I did not vote for Trump. I am unabashedly against abortion, but I also view education, healthcare, the death penalty, etc. as prolife issues. To vote for Trump because he is anti abortion is a disservice to the prolife cause, and will only cause even more liberals to think that prolifers fetishize the fetus and do not care what happens to people after they are born. After the election, I posted some thoughts on facebook, mainly that I hope to one day get to vote for a candidate who is wholly prolife, and also that I hope my children see the first female president. I was attacked by conservative facebook friends for thinking a woman can be anything other than a mother (really….). I was also attacked by liberal facebook friends who couldn’t fathom that I am anti abortion, but that I also truly care (and voted for!) affordable healthcare, gay rights, and other liberal issues. One called me repulsive. There is hate on both sides, and I am especially disheartened that I saw it from a liberal whose previous facebook status said “more love. Only love.”

      1. Thank you for your reply.

      2. I would like to be your friend. You sound open minded and interesting. Post on my FB page next time 🙂 Thank you for sticking to your morals, not voting for Trump and hoping for true pro-life. xx

      3. This helped me. Thank you.

  101. I’m also a Canadian, and I want to thank you Emily for your articles, both yesterday and today. Most of the people I know are some combination of shocked/dismayed/disappointed/afraid after the way things turned out. Reading the responses from real people who voted for Trump helps understand a bit more how it all happened, and why. I still don’t agree with a lot of it, but I understand.

  102. Thank you! You hit the nail on the head here.

    I come from an immigrant family and wish to share a bit of our story:

    My dad was recruited for the US Navy while living in the Philippines. He served this country for over 30 years, ever grateful for the opportunities America offered. He fought in 2 wars. I actually think he cried when Trump called Filipinos terrorists.

    Immigration is a huge issue for people like me. My dad didn’t take anyone’s job; Americans didn’t want to serve in the Vietnam and post-Vietnam era. Immigrants (legal or not) are filling jobs that Americans are not. And truthfully, if you think your job was usurped by an immigrant, there was a likely an American citizen behind the hiring who was looking to save money so he or she could deliver goods at a lower price to other American citizens. It all comes full circle.

    I voted for Hillary because she serves, she does not just fix. And to serve, one must be connected to the people and I believe she is.

  103. Leave it to a design blog to provide the most hopeful and helpful insights of anything I’ve read since the election. THANK YOU, Emily. Thank you for being open minded and compassionate and for helping everyone get past their anger and hurt so we can move forward together to heal. I’m a social psychologist and one thing I study is moral foundations of politics. What you say is so true– we are so much more alike than different. Most of us are driven by our moral convictions to vote the way we do. We have different priorities (and different morals that are more important to us), but that doesn’t mean we don’t value the other ideas.
    Reading your personal views here was really inspiring to me as well, because you put so eloquently what I’ve been trying to express for several days. On all fronts, really (including not getting on board with Hillary until recently and feeling guilty about it.)
    Again, THANK YOU. I will be sharing this post and your previous post with my students today as an example of how to respond and react productively to this election, no matter what their views.

    1. Wow. Thank you. xx

      1. Thank you again Emily. As a designer in San Francisco you could guess I don’t know a single trump voter. This was so valuable in my understanding/healing and I really appreciate you having the heart to this from a personal and business prospective you have my admiration. Thank you!

  104. Thanks for the forum. I agree with everything you said (!) except one and it’s a big one.

    It does not make me feel better to know that a lot of people who voted for Trump did not like him but in fact voted just to “send a message”. OK, message recieved. Now what? Our country is now run by a madman. The “send a message” vote was irresponsible on a grand scale. We now have an unpredictable and dangerous person in the most powerful position on the planet. I am scared for our children that we, as a country, are willing to allow this type of person to lead us just to have our anger vindicated. Shame on us.

    1. I don’t think they did it to send a message. (sorry to talk about R’s as an ‘other’ but i’m directly responding to the commenter). What I’m understanding is that despite how much they disliked him, they liked that he wasn’t held down/captive/hostage by politics or washington. He was the best they got and they are bummed about it, but he will have to do for now.

  105. I love you Emily! Ditto! So well said!

  106. Thank you Emily for having a safe, respectful forum to discuss this bewildering election. I am an Asian American millennial and voted for HRC. I am as democratic as you can get, my family are devoted Catholics and very Republican. I used to believe everything people around me would say until I went to college and formed my own opinions. I cried my heart out yesterday because I feel as if the country that I love has taken a big step backwards. I am an immigrant and this country has given me the opportunity to have a better life than my communist birth country could ever afford. Even though Trump never focused his vitriol toward Asian immigrants, I could feel that his rhetoric was an umbrella that could have referred to anyone different. A man who had the support of white nationalists, who has insulted women, and countless other groups of minorities is now the head representative of this already great and diverse country. I refuse to acknowledge him as President. I would have come to terms with other republican candidates as president, but not him. I find comfort in the fact that voters in my age bracket overwhelmingly voted for HRC. We are the future and can and will change it.

  107. Thank you so much for opening up your blog comments for this discussion and acknowledging what is happening in this country instead of ploughing through with design posts. While that’s what I love coming here to see, it’s your real-ness and honesty that keeps me coming back.

    Yes yes yes to your points on abortion. I could not vote in this election as a green card holder, but in spite of that, I am still finding many ways to be an active member of my community by participating in my HOA (thereby getting to know my neighbors), signing up for advisory groups for City Council, volunteering at the food bank, attending City Council meetings etc. I understand many do not have the time or energy to contribute to these extracurriculars, but if you can, I highly encourage it! It has totally helped me see beyond my bubble and learn about issues that I may be blind to or lack information on.

    If we all strive to keep learning, keep teaching, and keep understanding through thoughtful discussion, *that’s* when we will make America great again. Your blog helps us get there, so thank you for that. <3

    1. YES. Thank you for commenting and doing all you do. It honestly is what will make the difference.

  108. Climate change, climate change, climate change —

    None of what the right or left wants even matters if we are burning the planet. For EVERYONE.

    And Trump’s one stated position is to say it’s a hoax. This should be a be a bi-partisan issue —

    So until then –

    Protest is my big girl pants!

    People protested Obama- the Tea party movement (walking around, flashing their guns)…

    So now it’s our turn to protest a demagogue who kicked off his candidacy with the Birther Racist Lie. Who is a bully, a proud pussy grabber and who lies every time he opens his mouth.

    I wish him the best. But protest is patriotism. And I’m a proud patriotic American.

    Make America nice again,

  109. I am neither a Trump nor a Hillary supporter. I too found Trump to be repugnant. That said, I do consider myself a conservative, and I find the way that you are speaking about conservatives, or humanity in general, to be completely condescending, unfair, and frankly, inaccurate. “liberals value equality over freedom and conservatives value freedom over equality” This blanket generalization is so unfairly stereotypical. Prejudice is prejudice, even if it’s aimed at white conservatives. “Too many rich white men, namely republicans, have forgotten the Christian values of charity, selflessness and service and instead believe that we are fully responsible for our own successes and failures.” Again, coming from a conservative, this feels like an unfair representation and assumption of beliefs that are not yours to define. Could it be that conservatives have not forgotten completely about these values, but rather believe that humanity (maybe not all or perfectly) can instill these values in their communities without the government forcing them to do it in a specific way? Perhaps we don’t want to throw these values out the window for a chance at greed and personal gain, but truly believe in others ability and potential to invest in their churches, their families, their welfare, their neighbors, their schools…without everything being regulated and done for them? I find your view of humanity and their potential to be overly pessimistic and depressing…comparing us all to toddlers who have not developed rational thought or a sense of moral responsibility and who are in constant need of oversight and supervision?? Who constantly need to be reminded that other people exist and matter? Really? While I won’t argue that some people and some communities may fall on this end of the spectrum of maturity, I would put more faith than that in most human beings to care for their own and those around them. And as far as Hillary goes… liberals can force a white hat on her as much as they want and put their hopes in her as their new messiah, but the fact is, there is an overwhelming amount of evidence showing that she is just as corrupt as Trump, only in different ways. And as she is a much more skilled politician, she is better at hiding it behind a smile and articulate words. But the truth is she committed a felony and got away with it because of her rich, entitled, white privilege. The very things that she claims to be fighting against. A felony that anyone else would have been charged for…where is the justice and equality in that? She has used, no, stolen the people’s money for her and her family’s personal gain and whims. There are also countless stories and headlines, and yes…emails, showing that she herself has been known to make a racist comment, to belittle and condescend to her “others” or enable sexism and even use it to her political advantage. Perhaps some conservatives find Hillary’s actions to be just as repugnant as those of Trump’s? I think we can all agree that this election was a disaster and called for most Americans to hold their noses as they voted, trying to make the best decision possible that was in line with their beliefs. For some, that was a third party and clear conscience because they could not vote for either without vomiting. They could not imagine saying yes to either candidate when their children asked them one day who they voted into office in 2016. Please don’t think that all conservatives are only out for personal greed, lacking in Christian charity and empathy and compassion for those around them, and in favor of an all white rich America, stepping on the “others” to get there. Many I know, myself included, genuinely believe in humanity’s potential to grow, change, love and care for their neighbor, and see a world where all our children can live and learn in equality. We may just disagree on the routes to get us there.

    1. You say this well, but I still hear a total lack of empathy for people born into way less privilege than you. Your bootstraps may be strong and clean, ready to pull. Others, by comparison, are made of straw. Conservative policies tend to widen that gap. For many of us, conservatives will always seem selfish and lacking in empathy as long as they fail to address this imbalance.

      1. Please don’t assume I grew up with privilege or am indifferent to the suffering of others. I actually grew up in a rather poor, single parent home. I began working at a very young age just to afford the basic things that my peers had handed down to them from their parents. I know what it means to have little and to struggle and to feel like the outsider or the “other”. I am very empathetic to those in poverty. It’s not a failure to address the imbalance… It’s a differing opinion maybe on how it should be addressed.

        1. You are a minority. Maybe not literally but certainly morally. I applaud you but you give the rest of this HUGE country too responsibility and credit. I will do service. you will do service. If we lived in a small community it would probably be a good one. But the larger society needs more help than a few pretty good people, raised lower middle that have pulled themselves up by their bootstraps. It is absolutely naive not to consider other people’s upbringing as a reason to why they are the way they are. Just because you leaped the mountain doesn’t mean its easy or possible for everyone.

  110. Emily,
    thank you for articulating so clearly what I too believe about our country, this election, being a Democrat, being a liberal and valuing equality for all.

  111. Thank you for this. Can you start a new political blog in addition to the design blog?

  112. I voted for Hillary because of her experience and her life of service. I voted her for the security of knowing my gay sister’s rights to be upheld. Because she believes in science. I don’t believe in a wall or banning Muslim people from the country. I’ve been so excited about the idea of the first woman president. I wish I would have helped the campaign which I regret very much now. I also felt like she was the candidate to do something about gun reform too.

  113. Wow. You are such a fantastic writer. You really put into words all of my shock and I mean SHOCK and disgust about the results of the election.

    I saw something about Facebook wanting to take responsibility for all of the misinformation that is spread on their site…

    I mean Fox News and it’s idiocy aside, maybe if you don’t read the news and get all of your “information” from right-wing propogandists on Facebook and Twitter, I guess maybe you could really believe that Obama is a foreign born Muslim and Hilary is whatever they think of her – it’s just nuts to me.

    Or maybe they don’t actually care about policy and didn’t actually watch the debates where Hillary was fine, but Trump seemed completed uneducated and unprepared and unfit for office.

    The oddest thing is why they think he is such a “man of the people” when all he has done is exploit other people for a profit, and is arguably closer to Wall Street and it’s financiers than Hillary ever was – as he immediately turns to them for help on the economy, ha.

    I seriously hope the electoral college does the right thing and withdraws their support for his candidacy and gives the presidency back to Hillary, who I might add, won the freaking popular vote!

  114. The liberals have had 8 years with Obama and it’s not working, said more than 50% of the population. Blue states went blood red and you’re shocked, the media is shocked, the world is shocked. That is how marginalized the Trump supporters have been that the only response is, “How did this happen?” The liberals have been so thrilled with all that Obama is accomplishing that they have not cared what the other half of the country is feeling. And so on election day, you saw our frustration with feeling silenced for 8 years. I feel like all the Hillary supporters are kinda being sore losers. I know how you feel. I felt that way for the last 2 election cycles. But at some point you need to put the big girl pants on and realize what just happened. It’s our turn now.

    1. Hey Meghan E.
      Mr. Trump actually didn’t win the popular vote, though I can see how things aren’t working.

      Also, it’s not that our candidate lost. It’s the fact that people could vote for him, that pains many people.

  115. Thank you Emily! You perfectly expressed my beliefs and feelings as a liberal, and a Democrat, and a woman.

  116. You said my thoughts exactly. The only other piece I’ll add is that many of us had mothers and grandmothers who marched and fought for equal rights for themselves and their children/future children. In fact some of us have marched for equal rights and better gun control. We owe it to those that died fighting for equal rights to carry on and have a voice. We have more in common than we have differences in this world. That voice needs to be kind, brave, and grateful.

  117. I think it’s far too simplistic to think of the progressive/conservative dichotomy as equality/freedom. After all, progressives are for the freedom to choose and the freedom to love whoever you want. Conservatives are against those freedoms. You only have to look at the words themselves to see what the difference is. Progressives want to make America great by changing things which are not working. Conservatives see change as potentially damaging something that is already good.

    I voted for Hillary because I believe life is precious. That means I can only vote for a candidate that repudiates torture and is serious about dealing with climate change. Like you, I am pro-choice but not pro-abortion. Historically, abortion rates go down when democrats are in office.

    I voted for Hillary because I don’t believe that Trump believes in anything except himself, and he is easy to provoke. That makes him easy to manipulate.

    1. And I think it would be safe to say that conservatives believe in equality for the unborn baby and that their life is precious.

      1. This kind of conservative does not belief that women have the right to control who uses their organs or what happens to their bodies. The precious fetus is given more rights to the woman’s body than the woman herself.

  118. Please, please keep politics out of it. Your blog is an escape from my busy day and life, that is full of politics. I stop at your site to be inspired and enjoy your wonderful craft and talent. ??

  119. An eye opening article. It helped me feel greater compassion. http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-reasons-trumps-rise-that-no-one-talks-about/

    1. Thanks for the link to that article. I was born and raised in a community of LA 25 miles from the center of the city and the city felt foreign to me. My town was made up of Croatian, Portuguese, Mexican, Italian, Irish and Greek and held those same values as the rural areas with the same problems when shipyards closed down. And yes I voted for Trump because I can relate to all of that.

  120. I read through 924 comments last night and posted about 5 myself. I am really happy for your forum. I learned so much from the people who voted for trump and why. I think that people voted for issues in this campaign and really were above the awful campaigns. That was clear from your readership. people voted for trump in spite of all the things that I dislike about him and voted because they perceived him to be able to best represent their most important issues. This forum gave me hope and clarity. For now, being a liberal Clinton Voter, I am looking for positives of a trump presidency. I’m making it a game. Hearing from the people on this forum really helped me. I realize now that my biggest problem going forward at this point is not with trump, because he won and I believe in the peaceful transfer of power in America. My biggest problem is with the electoral college. I realize that it protects the rural areas and different Regions of our country. But, I would much prefer a popular vote for president. I think it would radically change the campaigns in really good ways. It would be in favor of American individualism. But still–my candidate did not get the job. It’s okay. I am going to trust that the people who elected trump have a god vision of where he can take our country and the world. I am going to look for things that I like about him and continue to work on the issues that matter to me. I hope that everyone will do that.

    1. I meant good vision, not God vision.

    2. thank you. I’ll try this

    3. The founding fathers of this nation were so wise. Unlike our privileged lives, they fought hard to start this great nation. It was with blood, sweat, and tears they got here and they set up a wonderful system that has worked perfectly…. until this election? The electoral college was set up because without it the majority of the country would be ignored. Politicians would simply focus on the outer edges and the lungs of our country (those many, many states in between) would be invisible. And those invisible people that spoke up in this election. Have you traveled to small towns and seen what has happened across this great land? There are no jobs. There is no hope. They are simply tired of being lied to and patted on the head with empty promises. Did you know that 47% of the people in this nation are either unemployed or don’t pay taxes. We simply cannot sustain this anymore. It quite literally blows my mind that people voted for Hilary just because she is a woman. You simply can’t vote based on feelings, you must vote based on facts. It is a fact she manipulated main stream media to secure the bid for her party. It is a fact she shamelessly went after the women of Bill’s affairs that went public. It is a fact she is above the law when it came to classified information that other military personnel have gone to jail for doing less. It is a fact she did a poor job when it came to Benghazi.
      Here is what I know, we were given two of the worst candidates ever. I think people voted in this election in spite of their many misgivings about the character of both candidates. This election was decided by Americans who were fed up. Like I said before above, the lungs of America (all those states in between the outer edges) took a breath. They would have much rather have risked it all than gotten another empty promise.

  121. I think there is way more to the Story.
    I don’t believe there is government forced vaccinations. If you have a medical or religious reason not to vaccinate it can be avoided. I also don’t believe you have the right to risk others because you haven’t vaccinated appropriately.
    I don’t believe people want to abolish all guns. People want common sense background checks and a reasonable expectation that guns be used appropriately and kept out of the hands of thugs and criminals.
    I believe this election is the result of the failure of three major parties. I believe the Republicans bear a large responsibility for proclaiming they want small efficient government but squandering their time and energy. They couldn’t pass any truly comprehensive reform and threaten to shut down the government while wasting tax-payer resources over and over and over.
    I believe the media bears possibly the largest failure for becoming too focused on entertainment and ratings and wasting their power by failing to deliver facts and appropriate information.
    I also believe the Democrats failed abysmally by allowing the “Swift-boating” of HRC and not sticking to the policy issues that mattered. If they had stayed true to the espoused liberal values and talked about them, we might not be here.
    I for one refuse to go quietly or politely and I have listened, intently.
    I listened to years of the pain of stagnant wages that neither party did anything about. I listened to lobbyists writing laws for state legislatures cutting off healthcare for women because 95% of our population is totally ignorant about biology and the actual science of gestation. I listened to kids with shiny new college degrees taking 3 part time menial jobs totaling close to 80 hours a week because companies don’t want to give them benefits while their CEOs make obscene amounts of money. I have seen some of those same companies move their headquarters overseas to avoid taxes. I’ve seen the homeless veterans scavenging cans for coins while being totally ignored by human services organizations including the VA. I’ve seen and heard enough to know that neither party has really paid attention.
    There has been a steady erosion over decades of the middle-class and here is the problem. Early in the last century, American workers could afford to buy American Cars made in Detroit. American workers could afford to buy all manner of goods made in America. The middle-class were the lungs of our economy. The worship of Greed has seriously deflated the middle-class and I don’t believe the culture of taking advantage of most of the people, most of the time will make anything better for anyone except the uber-weathly.
    Top of the list they want to overturn the Affordable Care Act and remove insurance for more than 13 million people. Never have we heard any solutions for the repair of it. I listen!
    Next they want to de-fund Planned Parenthood which is pretty obscene since they might pick up some of the slack from overturning the Affordable Care Act. Still I listen!
    If only Liberals listen we then become complicit in the continued abuse of Americans and I have seen no evidence of Conservative listeners. They are very sure they know it all. Only very loud voices and peaceful resistance will be noticed and it can’t all be the fringe populations of blacks, Latinos, Indigenous, LGBTQ. Put your money and your body where your opinions are – right out front!

  122. This is beautiful. Thank you.

  123. Thank you.

    For me, I voted for Mrs. Clinton for similar reasons. I am a christian and because of that, I am a deeply committed liberal. I am also ashamed that I didn’t do more for Hillary’s campaign.. 🙁 But we can still help people now! I am a passionate christian that thinks we need to care for the most vulnerable, the “foreigner, the widow, the orphans, the prisoner”. I think that we can do this as a country with our insane amount of resources in the U.S. I believe that we have a great opportunity to pool resources to help people with less resources.

    Leaving people to fight on their own, really sucks for people that didn’t have college educated parents and didn’t have a great public school system like I did. Meeting peers in college that had so little than I did was crazy. They were one of the few people that got out of their difficult situation and even now they are hampered in ways I am not. I am liberal for them and their communities.

    Second, I really was hoping and praying for a female president on my birthday. I’m so tired of old white men making assumptions and leading without empathy (not that all women do this and all white people arent bad). Women make up half the country. Check out how many are in congress.

    Everyone is selfish and does not choose the more expensive, safer equitable way. I think we need bureaucracy and regulations to keep each other safe. Do you really want the government to stop checking your the meat you buy? Do you want tuna in 30 years? Better pray the EPA isn’t torn apart.

    Lastly, a vote for Trump is a fuck you to women who have been assaulted, immigrants, people of color, queer identifying people and muslim people. My roommate and I hugged and cried on the floor of my living room at 1am when Trump made his speech. We are both young brown (Indian and Pilipina) women.

    Yesterday a pilipina student (my roommate mentored her), in Davis, CA, was verbally abused by a young child, who asked his mom if trump was going to make her leave. This young child called her a fat, ugly, brown person. This child threw things at her and his mother told her that Trump would take care of it. A older black woman came to this young women’s aid and held this young women in her arms and just let her cry outside the store.

    I also read about a black woman at a gas station who was approached by four white men talking about Trump winning. One even raised a gun at her.

    The republican party does not do enough for the vulnerable.

    I can’t believe I’m writing this on a design blog. Thanks for hearing me out whoever reads this

    1. please excuse my typos

  124. Emily, I love you even more than I already did for these last 2 political post. Your genuine curiousty in how others think and ability to be open minded is so refreshing compared to all the hate I have seen spewed the last few days and really over this entire election season. So thank you for that.
    As I side note, I couldn’t bring myself to vote for either candidate and that was a first for me since I turned 18. I felt sad during this entire election and so disillusioned with the system as a whole and my “choices.” It never felt like a choice at all to me.

  125. I voted for Hillary because she is smart, has similar values to mine, and I thought she would do a great job at paying attention to the very people who voted against her. I thought she would get along with Republicans and create deals that would work for everyone. I come from a place where most of my family voted for Trump and I can see how they saw her, but I thought she finally would have the power to be the kind of woman who knew how and what to compromise to get along with all of the people in the country. I thought a woman would like do this better than men. I thought that her staying with her husband despite his affair that was awful, would show she was someone who could compromise and get the best out of the country just as though she got the best of her husband’s value while dealing with the worst of it. I thought she was the first person to stand up for pro choice while hating abortions through her own faith. I read Shannon Dingle’s article in your reader comments.. and found what she said about supporting Hillary as the best I have ever heard from anyone about the ways to consider what is really required to be pro life.
    I agree with you Emily H. that she was likely not the right choice of candidates.. .not because she isn’t WONDERFUL but her “Brand” is tarnished and too easy to dismiss. It is both sad and tragic but now these days.. it is VERY IMPORTANT TO PUT OUT A CANDIDATE WHO IS BOTH GOOD AND all the wonderful things I saw in Hillary … but also someone who shines in others view both liberal and conservative. I think that Obama is one of those rare people who could carry that kind of energy. Maybe someone like Elizabeth Warren , or some other wonderful women and men upcoming.. are the types that can portray the acceptable “brand” in the next election. It makes me feel sad to say that but maybe true.

  126. I am a dyed in the wool Democrat. I grew up in Vermont. I hardly need to say more (if you know anything about Vermont). But despite being from Vermont, my midwestern parents didn’t talk about politics all that often and one of them is certainly less liberal, so I’m still not sure how I came to my own views. I don’t love Hillary. Like you, I was turned off by her delivery, her persona, etc. Alternately, I don’t love Bernie either. He is an interesting politician and has done some good things in his career, but I would rather have our (I say “our” even though I don’t still live in VT) other Senator, Patrick Leahy, as the candidate. Decidedly a Washington veteran (has been in the Senate since ’75 and yes you’re reading that right), he just more understandable to a greater number of people. Ok, truth be told, I’m probably never going to be wild about WHOMEVER the Dems or Republicans put up for the office. It’s too damn important and no one knows how good their candidate is going to be until they take office. But that said, of course I voted for Hillary and here’s why:

    1) I’m a jew, and I had a great number of family members murdered during the Holocaust and that knowledge has, I’m sure, changed the person I am. Of course, I don’t think it’s a good idea to throw open the borders all willy nilly, but if it wasn’t for this country and the fact that my grandparents were allowed to immigrate in the 30s, I simply wouldn’t be here and so many others around the world are in the same situation right now. It’s horrifying. I am heartbroken about the possibilities of what might happen under Trump and hope this country will remain a place where people, under the most severe of circumstances, will still be allow to immigrate.

    2) I’m a woman. Of course I didn’t vote for her because she’s also a woman. That’s silly. But the fact that she is a woman made her a more compelling candidate (because otherwise, she’s no different from so many establishment candidates).

    3) I’m a business person. I work for a large privately owned American company. We make and sell goods around the world. When I hear about Trump’s rhetoric about trade, I am very scared. If we raise tarrifs and duties and do anything to start any kind of trade war, we all lose. We all pay more for goods simply to prove a point (not because more money is going in the pockets of workers or employees). Might as well just raise taxes on income or sales because at the end of the day, it’s all the same. Also, if there is any kind of trade war, and the Chinese economy gets even shakier, I could (ultimately) lose my job. We’ve already stopped non-essential hiring in part due to the Chinese economy. We all know what happens after that.

    Thanks for asking the question and being open and honest with your readership. Your candor is admirable.

    1. Please understand that there is a difference between ILLEGAL immigration and LEGAL immigration. Having strong borders is common all over the world, but is apparently not acceptable to many here at home.

  127. As a human I was surprised and deeply distressed by the outcome of the election. I can only assume however that at least 50% of the American population was so unhappy with the current status quo that they saw no other choice but to vote the way they did. Frequent events in the news certainly seem to indicate that people are very frustrated and very angry and ready for change. As a Canadian I’ve always found Americans as people to be so lovely and genuine – the ideologies and politics not so much.

  128. I’ve loved this forum so much. And posted probably too many comments!

    I do think you folks who support Trump are in for a rude awakening, while I, an HRC supporter, will be pleasantly surprised due to my low expectations. Honestly, all Trump has to do is not use a nuke and be able to point to Yemen on a map and I would be super, super impressed. If he wanted to take it over the top he could stop commenting on women’s bodies in public forums.

    However, the Trump supporters I see here expect him to reform the ACA, overturn Roe v. Wade, halt illegal immigration, stop domestic terrorism, and/or stimulate the economy. All with no government experience and a business history chock full of lawsuits and bankruptcies.

    Good luck, y’all.

    1. Yes! Exactly.

    2. I hope they take some personal responsibility for how eff’d up we are going to be within 2 years.

      I also think Trump investigations have just begun, they are going to find plenty of reasons why he should be impeached. Releasing tax returns prior to the election are supposed to prevent us from being in the position of electing someone who is involved with foreign governments, committing fraud, donating to the KKK — who knows? We sure don’t because he never released them. Or his health records, and that guy does not look healthy.

  129. I’m 25 and I grew up in a rural, conservative, evangelical part of South Carolina. It pains me to say, my father remembers being a child, sitting on his dad’s shoulders during a KKK rally. I heard the “N” word thrown around over the dinner table. Feminism was a dirty word in my parents’ home. We attended a mega, evangelical, televised Baptist church my entire adolescence. (I maintain that the people in the community I grew up in aren’t inherently bad. They have little exposure to the world, change scares them, and they have a tremendous blind spot for the suffering and challenges of minorities etc.)

    I knew that culture did not represent me, and going away to college gave me the exposure and confidence to pursue my own beliefs. Even though I am not religious anymore, I hold dear many values I learned from the Bible. Helping the poor, the old, the disadvantaged. Releasing judgement, renouncing greed, living without excess, devoting your life to service, respect for the Earth. For these reasons, I am a left wing, progressive democrat. I found that the progressive agenda best reflects the values of the Bible.

    I know abortion is a huge hurdle for many people, and it was for me too. But I have grown to understand abortion is not a welcomed, violent act for selfish women. Roe V Wade is not mandating that women have abortions. It is giving women options in their darkest time of need.

    I campaigned tirelessly for Bernie in the primary. The purity of his message, compassion for minorities, love for the planet, all inspire me still. When it was obvious he wouldn’t win, I took a few months to recollect and in the mean time Trump found ways to deeply offend me even more. I voted for Hillary because she was the best, most viable option to beat Trump. I have some issues with her, but I know undoubtedly she is brilliant, motivated to help, a fighter, experienced, filled with decency and compassion etc.

    I have been riding an emotional wave since the election results came in. I applaud you Emily for opening respectful discussion on your page.

    1. How could you vote for Hillary when she has Jay-z using the ‘N’ word at her rally? I’m trying to keep and open mind, but the this election has shown just how hypocritical liberals are!

      1. …not to mention the disgusting things he says (raps) about women. Hillary and her supporters should be embarrassed and ashamed.

  130. One thing I find unsettling coming from the progressive side is the “education shaming”. “Trump voters are uneducated white males” or variations. Geez, sorry your plumber, mechanic, the UPS driver, small business owner etc. doesn’t have a college education. Does that make him unable to have an opinion on who should be president? Wow such an elitist attitude.

    1. I have to agree with LLL on this one. As per my previous comment – is it possible that it is the ELITIST status quo that half of the American voters were unhappy with? Maybe they are tired of being denied their slice of the American Dream because they don’t want, or can’t afford a college education and decided to do something about it. It’s so unfortunate that the “agent of change” could not have been someone (anyone) other than Donald Trump but obviously the time for subtleties has long passed.

      1. I’ve always found this really confusing. Anyone would be so proud of a child who went to a top university and became a scientist or college professor. So why is there so much distrust and hatred towards the people who do achieve this, the “elites”? It’s very strange that scientists, college professors and journalists are somehow a distrustful, with a liberal agenda. I am related to quite a few. We came from the midwest. Some of us go to church every week. Our goal is to serve the common good, and I think the biggest tragedy is that so many people who would be better served by trusting scientists, journalists and public servants choose instead to follow people like Trump who will say anything to gain your vote.

        If you really hate and distrust elites, why the hell would you prefer the millionaire son of a millionaire who is being sued for fraud?

    2. I have two ways of thinking about this. I feel like part of this is that we don’t respect all jobs. We show that by insulting “People of Walmart”, by keeping wages low for service jobs, by not acknowledging that our government and service workers all deserve respect. This is done by people of all parties and backgrounds and it is shameful and time to change the rhetoric.

      I also recognize that as people become more educated, they meet people of more backgrounds and develop more empathy for them because it’s a lot easier to extend compassion to someone you know personally. When people point out the less educated are voting conservative, they may be trying to point out how isolated some of these people can be about people different than them in some way. There’s also a lot of elitism that is disgusting. I grew up in a community with 2 black people and no other recognized minorities in any way and all of the same religion. Growing my education in college and in the world at large has changed me in very positive ways and I think that there’s plenty of opportunity for those without education to grow. Just as there are plenty of opportunities for those of us with higher education to make sure all people have the same opportunity if they want it and recognizing they have plenty of value no matter their education. But I also don’t think we need to pretend closed-minded bigots with or without education should be treated as if their opinion is valuable. Everyone from all backgrounds should shut that down.

  131. Emily, this is why you didn’t vote Trump – https://twitter.com/i/moments/796417517157830656 . And this is only the first day. This is also why all the millions that chose Trump as their representative and champion in the world need to think long and hard about what values they are propagating in this world. Even though people may have sound, rational arguments for supporting conservative ideals, there can be no reasonable justification for bringing a man like Trump into power who is inciting violence, hatred, racism, sexism and a myriad of other repugnant behaviours.

    1. Well said. I hope the conservatives here click on that twitter link. They’ll say that’s NOT what they believe in and stand for. But then they vote for Trump to be the leader of the free world, which, like it or not, sanctions his behavior. It’s unconscionable.

      It’s never okay to fuel the fire of hate and intolerance. Never. Hillary was flawed but not hateful. And even if Donald’s hate is an act to get votes, that doesn’t make it less dangerous.

  132. I’m a Bernie Sanders supporter who voted for Hillary. I truly believe the DNC’s efforts to push Hillary into the nomination, despite a million clear signals that people were FIRMLY against the establishment, cost the Democrats this election. This election was about the establishment vs. outsiders, not Democrat vs. Republican. What the establishment has yet to fully realize is what a different era we now live in–they’re used to being able to control the message via mainstream media: corporate-owned TV and newspapers. But this is the Internet age, and that changes the game completely. Now online publications, YouTube news channels, and even Facebook posts can reach millions of people to spread messages that are either completely ignored by the mainstream, or glossed over. I think one of the most significant wake-up calls that American citizens got from online sources was learning just how corrupt and intertwined our government and corporations/Wall St. are. There’s no “undo” button on this knowledge–Americans were so ready to overthrow this broken system, they were willing to overlook a mountain of negative Trump traits in order to scream at the establishment, “IT’S OVER!” While I could never have brought myself to vote for Trump, I can absolutely see the perspective of those who did. And I truly hope that this is the beginning of the political parties finally realizing that the game has changed, all their inner workings are more transparent than ever, and people will not be putting up with their old BS. Looking forward, with hope, toward 2020…may the next four years fly by!

  133. These comments are really interesting to read through. I’m definitely gaining insight into why some voted for Trump, and the reasons behind their vote.

    However, what I’m gathering here, and all over the place, is that the majority of people who voted for Trump didn’t vote for him because they support his racist, misogynistic, hateful rhetoric (and many are offended when you call them on it) – but because they think he will bring jobs back to them, and help them out financially. That’s fair. BUT : I was following the Republican primaries pretty closely, and if I’m not mistaken, there were at LEAST five other candidates (if not ten!) who were running on a very similar platform (immigration reform, push for domestic jobs, health care reform) but didn’t name call, demean women, or alienate anyone of color.

    If all of these issues were so important to them, and these voters are saying they don’t agree with how he talks about women/people of color/disabled citizens/veterans, why didn’t they vote for ANY other Republican candidate in the primaries who was a decent, qualified, person? I didn’t agree with John Kasich on a number of issues, but I thought he was an incredibly decent, smart, man with nearly the same platform that Trump stood on.

    I just don’t understand.

  134. I wanted to make a comment yesterday but I wanted more time to process. I am an African American, mother of 4, wife to a civilian cop and active military. Working in Washington and the information/background…Hillary would never be my choice. I personally am familiar with people that have serviced her and she isn’t a nice person to the military. She considers us beneath her and she says little about protecting us. With that out of the way if you knew me 10 years ago you might not have liked me either. And it’s really no point to address the dreaded year we just witnessed. But what I will say is that a lot of what we believe is based on the information pushed to us by people that wanted to tilt the vote to her. Is that fair? And while some of his comments are offensive….he was never given enough time to develop them. We need tighter security. Some many people slip thru the system because of this vetting process. The black community is hurting and instead of Obama visiting his adopted city “Chicago”, who lost over 500+ to gun violence…he was busy with vacations and state dinners. While I am for people making their own decisions in life…those decisions should not impede on my own freedom. And while you can’t make everyone happy, I shouldn’t be told that I’m a bigot because gay rights aren’t my concern. And FYI…my brother is gay and my best friend. Oh and he says it’s a choice! And we respect one another and love each other deeply. But if we take the emotion out of it….We must give Trump a chance. Obama wasn’t super experienced and he had a team to help. I think God can move any heart. And believe we will be surprised with the coming 4 yrs. And Marge is correct…There is audio with Hillary making light of how she got a rapist off the hook because of technicalities. And sorry Bill has had to pay money to his accusers…but Trump isn’t a saint. But it’s interesting how this information was blasted on us just a month to Election Day. Emily thank you for being real and you wonderful woman opening your heart out.

    1. Well said, Gray.

  135. Thank you Emily. I was overwrought with despair yesterday, unable to control my emotions and feeling very, very hopeless. But when I read your post on Facebook asking for those who voted for Trump to explain why they did, you helped me (and I am sure many others) take a moment to think about how we liberals haven’t necessarily been great at representing open-mindedness during this past election either. Reading the comments helped me process what at first seemed unfathomable – that people would actually choose Trump to run our country. But like you said above, I now have a better understanding and hopefully can grow and learn from this experience. You did that. There’s a lot of confusion, despair and finger pointing going on in the world right now, but your tiny little corner of the internet has given me some semblance of peace within myself. Now I believe I can move forward and handle what lies in the future without constantly feeling bitterness and resentment. HUGE thank you.

  136. I think Emily laid out things beautifully from the perspective of the left. Also, I voted for Hillary because she is a smart, articulate, experienced leader, who and represents my values of tolerance, inclusiveness and a desire to work hard for the good of the people. Not least of all women and children, who’s best interests are too often overlooked. She’s been my first choice candidate from the beginning, and I’ve spent the last two days feeling overwhelmed and shocked by the outcome of the election. I believe that a lot of what drove voters to choose Trump was fear…fear of loosing your job, your stability, your community, your safety. I’m feeling a lot of fear myself right now and understand what a motivating factor that can be, as fear is very personal and specific.

    Who I’m feeling very frustrated with, is other liberals. I hope the outcome of this election will give birth to a million think pieces about our societies underlying (or not so underlying) sexism, as this is obviously something this country is still grappling with. Her gender felt like a factor on so many levels. Not just in the media, or the comments made by Trump and Trump supporters, but by many other liberals who never quite saw this as an historic campaign they way they did with Obama. Or maybe they didn’t even care about that aspect, where 8 years ago they may have. Sometimes I got the feeling that she just wasn’t “cool enough”, or that people would be defending her more against some of the inaccuracies if this was a “different candidate” (code for: a man). It really rubbed me the wrong way during the whole election. Personally, I’ve admired Hillary Clinton most of my life and feel lucky to have had the chance to vote for her. I know that not everyone will feel that way about this or any candidate, but when we’re up against an opponent who threatens everything we stand for, to hear things like “there just wasn’t enough excitement” makes me feel so frustrated and embarrassed for my party. When I heard that only 50% of eligible voters turned out, that felt like a huge blow. So many of the commenters yesterday said that they weren’t fans of Trump but they voted for him anyway because they felt it was important to do so. Sometimes I think we can take things for granted on the left, and I’m hoping that this will be a wake up call for all of us.

  137. I don’t have time to read all the comments here, Emily, but I just have to say thank you for being so honest and opening up a dialogue about this.

    I’ve spent the last few days feeing hurt, confused, angry and frankly scared. What I’m feeling, and what I’m hearing from a lot of strong, intelligent people I know is that we will not take hatred or bigotry of any kind. Now is our chance to “be the change.”

    Martin Luther King, Jr said, “Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”

    These are the words I live by and I teach my children.

  138. I voted for Donald trump. He is far from perfect and he is not a politician. He says things out loud that the majority of people might want to say but never will. There is no excuse for some of the things he has said publicly about women. However he wants to protect our country and its citizens. He wants to put veterans who have fought for the freedom first. He was not responsible for our American ambassador being murdered in Benghazi. He’s a lot more trustworthy than hillary. Hillary supposedly is for women’s rights but is married to a man who has actually molested women and used his power to make women do what he wanted. Hillary also defended a man who molested a little girl when she was a lawyer and was excited that even though she knew he did it she won the case and the man was “not guilty”. Donald trump is not a politician and he has said inappropriate things but he is a very successful businessman who doesn’t need other people’s $ to determine the decisions he makes and he did not have to run. He LOVES our country and is going to do everything he can to unite and protect our citizens. I truly believe he will turn the us around. I can’t understand why anyone would vote for hillary. She is dishonest and the last 8 yrs of a democratic president had been a disaster for our economy…. no one can blame bush for Obama has singly creating more debt than every other president combined.

    1. Margaret, I understand you want to vote for Trump because you think his attitude towards other countries is right. That’s your right.

      But the facts say that the economy was ruined by a Republican, and it has only now come back, under a Democrat. Facts prove that the economy almost always does better under Democrats.

      It’s always good to take responsibility for what you believe, and why you believe it, vs, creating reasons to justify

    2. As a lawyer I do just want to point out that sometimes you are appointed to an indigent defendant. You do not have any choice in the matter. You are then duty bound by your oath to defend that person, no matter how reprehensible. If you do not vigorously defend, you could be disbarred.

  139. Emily, thanks so much (truly!) for this post and the one yesterday. Like so many liberal democrats who voted FOR Hillary, I’m disgusted and simply trying to understand why half the country voted for Trump. The comments from these two posts have opened my eyes and helped me learn a little bit about myself, too.

  140. I, like you, wavered on Hillary in the early stages of the campaign, which embarrasses me greatly now. Being more educated now, I truly feel like I was acting on misinformation (EMAILLLLSSSSSSSSS). I think Hillary cares, I think Hillary gets it, I think Hillary had the tools and experience to help our country succeed. Trump disgusts me. The KKK endorsed him and he basically winked at them. I could never see myself voting for someone who built a campaign on anti-Muslim, anti-brown/black, anti-gay comments (and don’t get me started on Pence). Our PRESIDENT ELECT is on tape saying he grabs women by the pussy. BY THE PUSSY! THATS INSANE!!!!!!!!!! People have lost basketball teams over less. That being said, I think I understand more now how we got here, and I’m ready to put in the work to rectify this over the next four years, although I’m still devastated.

  141. Thank you for your good heart.

    I voted for Hillary because I think the risk of harm coming to the weak is greater than the risk of “The Other,” whoever they are, coming to take my stuff.

    And because I’d rather nurture than fight. All my other beliefs that led to my vote stem directly from these two deep feelings.

  142. I voted for her for so many reasons.

    1. I think she had worked her entire life for this moment. She is so intelligent, so well prepared, and just so incredibly qualified. She has some flaws, obviously. We all do. And especially when you have been in politics your whole life. But she genuinely fights for social justice, and equality, and the plight of the poor, women, and children. And I really think she would have tried to listen to all groups and learn from them and surrounded herself with experts not just friends in her cabinet.

    2. Undocumented Immigrants- I grew up in Honduras and believe the only difference between me and people who come here undocumented is luck and the fact that I grew up privileged. I had a direct path to citizenship because my mom was a US citizen. Just dumb luck. I left the country for a better education and to escape the violence, and 100% understand why people flee Central America and come here. I have lost family members to gang violence, have had friends and family kidnapped, and have been held at gunpoint at a restaurant. The trek from Central America and Mexico is horrible. It takes months, women get raped, people go hungry. You have to be completely desperate and find no other alternative to do that. And then they get to the US and 99.9% work several jobs, basically run the agriculture and restaurant industries, the cleaning industry and construction. They have risked so much and deserve a chance just as much as the next person to succeed. They collectively pay billions of dollars in taxes but don’t qualify for most benefits. I know their stories, I know their plight and the idea of building a wall or deporting millions of people and breaking up families is absolutely repulsive to me. There is nothing illegal about trying to save your life or your child’s life, by crossing borders that were artificially made by people. Yes they are cheap labor and I can understand why people are so angry when they “take jobs” but that is not their fault. Everyone is trying to make a living and the system is so screwed up in that people dont receive equal pay for the same jobs. I just wish everyone could sit down and talk to people who have come here undocumented. Listen to their stories, and truly understand the situation.

    3. Religious Discrimination- My husband is Muslim. His religion is so poorly understood and poorly portrayed in the media. Yes there are radicals, yes some people of his faith have become extremists and done unimaginable things. But the religion as a whole is peaceful and family oriented and the rhetoric surrounding Islam from Donald Trump’s campaign and supporters was completely unacceptable. Banning a whole religion should just never even be spoken.

    4. Health care- I’m a pediatrician and believe health care should be a human right. I think it is absurd that the most powerful country in the world doesn’t provide free healthcare to its residents. Single payer systems, say Medicare for all, would improve our life expectancy rates, infant mortality rates, maternal mortality rates and so much more. Obamacare could have had so much potential, but congress molded it to its current form that is clearly failing so many people. Clinton’s original plan for health care is so much better.

    5. Women’s rights- I understand being pro life. I grew up Catholic and I take care of children and know how early a fetus has a heartbeat and resembles a person. But I also grew up in a country where abortions are illegal and women were going to clandestine locations to get them, or were self medicating and risking bleeding to death. I saw this even with close friends and it was horrifying. So I believe in women having the right to choose and getting abortions in a safe way. It is an agonizing decision to make and not having the option, especially in the US where the option has existed already for so many years, is just not the answer. Also, I agree with Emily that until everyone has free access to contraception and sexual health education we need to provide all the alternatives.

    6. Terrorism- when ISIS is celebrating the rise of Donald Trump you know something is wrong there. I am terrified about what he will do with foreign policy.

    7, 8, 9, 10… Honestly I could go on and on but I truly believe Donald Trump did not take his campaign seriously, he needs to insult people to feel power, he does not condemn racist and mysoginistic rhetoric, and is just a bad human being. I hope I’m wrong because now we are stuck with him for four years. But after watching the news today and women reporting their hijabs being torn off, people waking up with racist profanities on their cars, South Philly vandalized with swastikas, I am so worried for my own safety, for my husbands safety, and for the safety is all minorities and people of color. He needs to step up and condemn this type of behavior or else people will keep protesting and the country will become further and further divided.

  143. Ok, I’m jumping in because I am the cliched educated middle class white liberal in a blue state bubble with likeminded friends who is still shell-shocked by the realization that my idea of America is maybe not in tune with reality. I’m curious to engage outside my bubble… I think. I read a lot, but not all, of the comments on the “Why Trump?” post. I’m curious about how and when and where we decide to look for information to inform our decisions. I s. I don’t want to fall into the trap of assuming others were uninformed, or worse less intelligent, but I don’t think Breitbart or Fox News are any less biased than the media outlets described lovingly as “libtarded”. I, of course, prefer the New York Times, Washington Post, and NPR in keeping with my hippie democratic socialist self. But if I put aside all of those sources, I am still left with a substantial number of instances where groups of experts expressed negative views ranging from doubt to abject terror about his policy proposals. The scientific community as a whole recognizes and is gravely concerned about climate change. I have kids I want to be able to breathe after I’m gone. Trump had named a climate change denier as head of the EPA and promised to break our commitments to the Paris Climate Accords. A number of national security and defense professionals put their jobs on the line to declare that his approach to foreign policy is dangerous. They come from both parties and have little to gain from speaking out. They know more about the world stage and its threats than I do, so I believe them. Expert economists with advanced degrees have studied his financial plans and say that his claims of economic growth have no basis, that the plan would balloon the deficit, destabilize our economy and then that of the rest of the world, increase inflation dramatically, and then ultimately cost jobs. Again, they know a lot more than I do and the sources are varied and bipartisan. I have positive reasons for voting for Hillary, and even if (in the case of my husband, who claims to have written in a vote for himself), I believed Hillary was a career criminal and the worst of the status quo, I couldn’t have gotten past these serious policy concerns about Trump. I won’t even delve into my personal (passionately negative) feelings about his values and his persona, or my fear that his candidacy and election has legitimized the outward expression of new levels of prejudice. Respectfully, I’ll assume no one who voted for him worried about that, but I would love to hear some thoughts on the expert opinions of his policy from those who support him. Why do you think the change he’ll bring about in your life is likely to be positive change? And on a tangent, as far as us hippie liberals go with the shoving of our social agenda, I have to defend that as an extrapolation and specification of constitutional freedoms for modern society. Gay marriage, racial and gender equality, etc., were not foreseeable to the founding fathers, so they created a government that could adapt. Hence those pesky constitutional amendments. But if your gay neighbor gets married, that doesn’t change your heterosexual marriage or the rights thereof. If the careless, frightened fifteen year old girl (or the rape victim) down the street gets an abortion, that doesn’t mean you have to. I am consistently frustrated by the accusations about liberals pushing an agenda, when an expansion of freedoms by definition does not restrict the freedoms of others. However, if the conservative agenda restricts my body or my marriage, those things directly affect me while, still, not affecting the conservative down the street. I find that troubling. Lots of thoughts here, I’m clearly still processing and should switch to decaf.

    1. Ashley, I just read your comment and it seems like you truly and respectively want to know why someone would support Trump. I will tell you why I personally voted for him. I am fiscally conservative and socially liberal. Because these are obviously intertwined, I had to make a tough decision of which was more important to me at this time. I am a privileged, educated (BSME) (I also want to note, based on your uneducated or less informed comment, that my husband also voted for Trump and he not only has his bachelors in engineering but also a masters in engineering and also business), white woman that lives in Michigan. Before you or someone thinks that there is no way that someone from the midwest has any idea of the issues people face in the big cities, I’ll tell you that for almost a decade we lived in overseas and I saw many of the above mentioned issues first hand (minus the gun issue) in cities larger than New York and LA.

      Even on this ticket my vote was split between Democrat, Republican, and Independent. As you stated above, it is virtually impossible to find unbiased news. I looked both at the liberal and conservative outlets and still walked away wondering what was true. We (America) are overspending. My personal feelings are that many of the programs that have been put in place to help the people that we liberal (yes, I include myself) people want to help isn’t actually getting to the people who need it the most. Again, my personal feeling is that both political parties are trying to advance their own agenda instead of what is best for the population as a whole. I don’t like how often people go from a political office to the private sector and back again.

      Donald Trump has diarrhea of the mouth. He isn’t as educated about world politics (or any politics really) as I would like. He does that weird nose breathing thing when we gets worked up. In the end, he got my vote because he is not status quo. In my world, status quo isn’t working. The Atlantic summed it up when they said, “The press takes him literally, but not seriously; his supporters take him seriously, but not literally.”

      I know that with my friends, while looking at an attractive man, I’ve said, “I’d do that.” Guess what, I’m happily married and I wouldn’t actually “do that”. I probably should have said, “Look at that attractive gentleman walking past us.” I think we have all said things that we don’t mean. Trump, being in the spotlight, should know better. His comments about Muslims, Mexicans, and stop-and-frisk were ridiculous.

      I did a lot of soul searching before the election. I would have gladly, happily, enthusiastically voted for anyone else, but I felt that he was the only one that could possibly change the political beast that we currently live with.

      Lastly, I know that many people probably feel that those who voted for Trump are racist because we would support him. I’m not racist, nor do I condone his words and actions. I’m counting on the entire governmental system to work together to ensure that each person’s rights are maintained.

    2. Well said, Ashley, thank you.

    3. you and i are in a very similar spot and this helped me A LOT:

      “Basic, obvious truths that have gone unquestioned for thousands of years now get laughed at and shouted down — the fact that hard work is better than dependence on government, that children do better with both parents in the picture, that peace is better than rioting, that a strict moral code is better than blithe hedonism, that humans tend to value things they’ve earned more than what they get for free, that not getting exploded by a bomb is better than getting exploded by a bomb” – http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-reasons-trumps-rise-that-no-one-talks-about/

  144. I’m originally from a small farming community. As I watched the results from the red counties pour in, my first thought was “oh man, everyone is going to be so mad at all those good people.” And I voted for Hillary! Small town people watch national news every night and hear the weather report for New York and L.A.even though it couldn’t be less applicable. They visit urban areas for travel or necessity (airports, malls, hospitals) and can appreciate and relate to urban life, while their urban counterparts have never heard of towns even 15 miles away. Rural America is the butt of jokes in the media if it’s mentioned at all. You feel unrepresented because you are. And it gets old. And I imagine if a candidate for president had come to my town and held a rally, or even acknowledged its existence, regardless of who or what party, I would have thought it was so cool that they cared enough to do that. Because not many people do.

    This piece was really instructive for me. http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-reasons-trumps-rise-that-no-one-talks-about/

  145. Thank you for opening the discussion and I really enjoyed reading your perspective. We have a lot of privileges in this country, and one of the greatest ones is our democracy, our right of free speech and the right to vote. For that I am incredibly thankful. With that said, I totally disagree with your views, but thats ok. Like you said, I believe most Americans; liberal and conservatives like me wish for a country where people can be who they are, not live in fear, have opportunity to become whatever they chose to do. Its just that I believe in order to do that, we need a conservative government, lower taxes, less regulations and money wasting. You just see it different and that is wonderful that we all have different views, because thats how ideas are born.

    It is very disheartening to hear so many people say conservatives are homophobes and racists, etc etc. I have gay friends and I wish nothing more than equality for them, for everyone. I think most modern, educated conservatives like me believe the same. It literally breaks my heart to read some of these nasty comments. My hope is we can all move forward with respect.

  146. While I agree with most of what you wrote from a personal point of view, I believe your generalization and categorizations of liberals/Democrats and Republicans is part of the problem as it feeds into the divisiveness that is was profuse during this election and in politics in general. The us/them, left/right, Republican/Democrat mentality doesn’t really serve anyone. Honestly, I cringed when you took the liberty to speak for liberals and used “we” as if it is possible for one person to speak on behalf of all people who identifies themselves with that term. Sure there are certain generalities that can be made, but please be careful when making sweeping statement and acknowledge a category such as liberals covers a wide spectrum and that there are numerous differences within that range. Along those lines, not just Democrats voted for Hillary just as the people who voted for Trump were not limited to Republicans. I think if we’re going to be successful in making a positive change after this election, a good place to start is to remember experiences are individualistic and to connect with people in person and face to face as much as possible. In this digital age, it’s much harder to make those personal connections via social media and other online platforms, dehumanizing our interactions and lending to the divisiveness. I applaud your using your blog in a positive manner, your openness to hear differing points of views and allowing your readers to be part of the conversation.

  147. Thank you Emily for this post. I totally agree. You are brave and I have so much respect for you. Keep being you and being real!

  148. I voted for Hillary as her policies and ideals aligned the most closely to mine. Plus, she had more experience than anyone and has a lot of foreign policy and diplomatic experience, which is important in our global economy . I really can’t understand how people on both sides make her out to be such a witch and a criminal. The propaganda is deplorable. I would not be so upset about losing the election to McCain or even Romney, but it is horrifying to me to lose to a man like Trump. I really cannot comprehend how people can overlook how he treats others and is really focused on himself, winning and power. Listen to him. He’s very clear. I also have a daughter and find it terrifying that the most powerful job of our land will now be fulfilled by someone who actively objectifies and demeans women and explains it away as “locker room talk” and doesn’t understand the weight of his actions and words. Also, the way he has spoken about minorties and people with disabilities. Women, minorities and people with disabilities have come too far in this country to be setback by the likes of a rich man who is not in touch with the majority of people who voted for him. He has lived in a bubble his whole life. A life of elite privilege. Personally, I would like to respect, feel safe, trust, have confidence in and admire our President in his/her character and his/her actions. So far, Trump has shown otherwise.

  149. Absolutely fabulous Emily. My sentiments EXACTLY. Well done & thank you for taking the time.

  150. Can you design my house and manage my Facebook account until further notice?

    This was great.

  151. I heard from a lot of people that it was all about women vs men (which is such a stupid reason to vote for someone in my opinion). It has to be about what the candidate believes in. Trump does not in any way, shape or form, share my values or morals. I believe in kindness, freedoms, equality. He has shown he doesn’t believe in any of those. There’s actually a tweet from him in 2011 that said ‘But most Americans are f—— idiots anyway.’

    This is the person who is going to represent us to the rest of the world? He’s also said if Ivanka wasn’t his daughter he’d be dating her. That’s just disgusting and sad on so many levels. Demeaning.

    I am an American living in London until next summer, and I’m ashamed to let anyone know I am American right now. People have asked me if I supported him, believe in him, ask me how on earth he got elected. The answer is no, no and I have no idea. I don’t know how racism wins. I don’t know how belittling wins. I don’t know how someone with ZERO experience in government wins.

    I did not not vote for Mitt Romney, I have voted as a democrat. But if Romney had won, it would have been okay because at least I know he wouldn’t have destroyed our country during his 4 years. Can anyone say the same about Trump?

  152. Dear readers,
    I am writing from Spain. Somehow I do not feel entitled to opine since I am sure there are many things I may miss about US politics, I am aware of that, I wish I could understand.
    I just want to express how surprising it is to the world that someone like Trump won the election. It is unforgivable that someone that speaks about women an immigrants in such an unrespecful manner gets to represent American citizens. I read the comments and it seems that although voters did not like it, they overlooked it because they thought Hillary was worse. Lord! Hillary must have been very unpopular so that people completely forgot about their values and still voted for Trump.
    I am also somehow worried and deceived that the world is becoming more and more radical. It is a fact that parties with extreme views are becoming more relevant in western countries. It is the case for Austria(right), Poland, UK with the Brexit, Greece (left), France (right), Spain (left) and many more. It is also very funny that the exreme right and extreme left have the same arguments:
    1. No to supra-national bodies which diminish our capacity to decide (NATO, EU…etc.),
    2. Protectionism: No to free trade treaties, lets tax imports!. Music to the ears for workers who may have lost their jobs. Reality is that these measures punish all consumers that will need to pay for more expensive goods both produced in America and abroad. By the way, European exports in the US already pay a 30% import tax.
    3. Hate: Someone else is the cause to all your problems. Here we have a variety of arguments from left and right. It is the immigrants or the economic powers, the banks, the EU…etc.

    I know I will not convince anyone.
    I wish for a world with less anger, where all of us feel less entitled specially when we all come from very privileged countries and backgrounds. I wish for a world were people do not blame their problems on someone else. We should all take responsibility.

    I just hope that this radicalization of world politics (It is not only the USA) does not lead us to terrible consequences. Unfortunately history tells us that is gets to a point when rage and anger spirals and it is then unstoppable.

  153. The most disheartening part of Trump’s campaign and election is that he tapped into people’s dark sides to incite fear instead of unity. Whether he acted this way to gain votes or he actually believes his own rhetoric almost doesn’t matter because it was so divisive. No, he didn’t create racism and sexism and hatred, but using them as tools during an election brings out the worst in people and pushes people apart, which isn’t how national leaders should act. Leaders like that are dangerous.

    Let’s hope that a better man emerges than the one we saw in this campaign.

  154. I voted for Hillary because my beliefs align so very closely to what Emily has detailed here.
    Also, I am a supporter of the ACA. Universal Healthcare has been on Hillary’s platform since 2008.
    Before Obamacare, my mother was unable to get health insurance due to a pre-existing (serious) condition. She currently is fully, happily, insured. I fear for her health and yes HER LIFE if Trump overturns the ACA as he very clearly has promised to do.
    Also, I found it interesting to read comments yesterday from Trump supporters who were connected to the military. The military does often lean right – and I Just don’t get that. My husband is an Iraq vet (also a very progressive liberal). We both STRONGLY support the military and as such think Hillary (and democrat leaders)can help keep our troops safer than Republicans can.

    Also because I LOVE the diversity of this country and if anything I want it to GROW. It makes us better Americans and better people. I support fair & sympathetic immigration policy and the equal protection of LBTQ civil freedoms.

    Ive been a middle class young woman who has used planned parenthood and STRONGLY SUPPORT its services. It will be a great injustice to our women (and their MALE partners) if PP is defunded.

    I could go on and on here, but those are the reasons at the top of my head.

    Peace and Love.

  155. Hi emily,
    Thank you for your continued pursuit to try to understand and explain both sides. I wondered if you have read The Fourth Turning (Strauss and Howe). I read it this summer and it was very helpful in understanding the times we’re in, generational patterns, politics, movements, etc. Inwas actually quite awestruck how cyclical we are as human beings! Its. Fascinating read and further helps understand what’s happening in our country and around the world. If nothing else, google it to get a glimpse of the “Fourth Turning” we are in currently. Cheers!

  156. Perfectly, perfectly said. Thank you.

  157. Emily,
    I have to say that we have had to swallow the rhetoric from the media for the last year. Is Trump a perfect candidate, no! A couple of comments to you post, you talk of violence at Trump rallies, did you know they were paid by Hillary’s campaign to incite that violence? Why are your leaders not calling for an end to the violence that is going on now? Beating people, burning flags, hurling curse words, how is this helping? Isn’t this scary? Another point as a conservative I’ve been hearing from the media that I am a racist…..did you not hear the Hillary campaign disparaging Jews, blacks, Catholics? You might say that’s her campaign but the buck stops at the top.
    Again I think people picked the lesser of two evils. You say Hillary has experience but how can some one sell our country out for the sake of a “foundation”. You see the media only wanted to push their agenda. I am all for a women to be President but I prefer the right women!

  158. Thanks, Emily. Your post literally brought tears to my eyes. As a christian who who leans conservative I did not support either candidate for many reasons, but I have been deeply disturbed post-election. Since then have been just trying to understand both sides, and reading your posts and as many comments as I could on them have definitely helped me do just that. I have come away with many great ideas from my more liberal friends and a new understanding of how to love people better.

  159. I think you make an important point, about being teenagers/toddlers that need the government to guide us. That’s a stance many people strongly disagree with. It’s not the governments job to parent us and preside over our morale. If we need to grow in our mentality and attitudes that’s on us. If there are homeless people that break your heart, volunteer, donate, reach out. The absence of govt regulation in certain matters means that we as the people need to grow and rise to the challenge, on our own. Whether you believe that is or isn’t/will or won’t happen, that shouldn’t compromise the role of govt.

  160. Thank you so much for bringing this conversation into your public space. It is profoundly brave. My thoughts at this point are succinct: I believe the tenants that make this country strong are diversity, inclusion, freedom of religion, and equality. I will continue to speak out for these despite the results of the election. I will teach my children that our country is not stronger when we build walls and blame immigrants. Our country is not stronger when we remove protections on our environment that is essential to our very existence. Our country is not stronger when we degrade women and condone violence. History has taught us these lessons over and over and over again.

  161. Emily,
    I am proud of you and your very well-articulated comments. I’ve not identified myself as a true liberal in the past, but maybe I am, because I agree with everything you said. If a society is truly not good for everyone, it is not good for anyone.
    What gives me hope is that though I live in a backwards state politically (Texas), I’m proud to live in Austin, because we are largely Democrat, and the leadership in our state very much dislikes us. I want to keep it that way.

  162. I didn’t think it was possible for me to like you more than I already did. And while I have never left a comment on a blog in my life, I feel like I need to just to thank you. This was very well written and informed and I’m so happy to see public figures really take a stance as well as getting in the perspective of the opposing parties shoes. Thank you so much for being you.

  163. Thank you so much for this discussion – I’ve been having it a lot with my conservative friends (most of whom voted for Johnson, but who have been excellent interpreters for the reasons other, non-hateful friends voted for Trump. Here is what I have realized: it helps my heart so much to know that the people who voted for Trump did so for change, and for their economy …and not because of hate. it’s totally true that we (both parties) have ignored the needs of the ‘uneducated whites’ (all while talking about “white privileged’) and I am 100% guilty of that. I can intellectualize the minority experience,and I can rationalize bad minority behavior and outcomes because of historical oppression — and I can really care about that. But I have had zero patience for working-class-white complaints…. and instead of trying to understand what might be driving their racism and hate, I simply made fun of their grammar and wrote them off. That is my bad as an upper middle class white person and I needed to see it and own it and ask myself how I can care about them too…. and oddly, when I think about a vote for Trump being a vote against me (establishment), I feel 1,000 times better about it — because I do have white privileged. And I have not cared about an entire swath of people…. and I try to just keeping thinking about this as demonstrations of hate fill my feed – because I’m not blameless in creating it. 🙂

  164. In regards to your comments on abortion and birth control – do you not consider condoms a legitimate form of birth control? They are available over the counter and are inexpensive.

  165. Dear Emily,

    Thank you so much for giving us all the opportunity to explain our thoughts in a safe, positive space. Your optimism and openness is what I’ve always admired about you and I’m so glad you lent it to us now when we need it the most by providing a chance for dialogue here. I can’t even explain how helpful it’s been for me to understand what happened in this election by reading through the comments. What I want more than anything is to have a greater understanding of how we got to this place and what we should do moving forward. This has given me hope that I will begin to figure that out.

    As for Hillary, I was always in her camp. To me she represents exactly the kind of leader the world needs – graceful, compassionate, experienced, diligent, compromising, and indefatigable. My husband and I often thought of her as an American Angela Merkel – someone who would make tough decisions by carefully weighing the options and using the depth of knowledge and wisdom available to us as humans in this modern world. During the primary campaign, I really thought that most of what Bernie said was right but I just didn’t see him getting it done. Hillary presented realistic, logical options for the solutions we need. I can see how she did not inspire the fervor Bernie or Trump did – I actually find her pretty awkward as a speaker. It is an understatement to say she does not have anything close to the charisma Obama has, but I thought that after decades of trying to communicate with people, she was able to do it pretty well. I thought that just maybe she’d be able to work with Republicans in Congress, as she did when she was in the Senate and as Obama was largely unable to do. I assumed and actually looked forward to her being a moderate president – I realize we all can’t have everything we want all at once, and to me she understands that progress takes time and is made in slow, incremental steps. I guess I am a pragmatist which is not super exciting nor a galvanizing sentiment for a candidate to embody, which is maybe one of the reasons why many did not embrace her as I did.

    When Trump won the nomination, I was actively horrified. My parents have always been thoughtful conservatives and it was unthinkable to me that this man represented their party. Democracy to me (and I realize this is some pretty useless idealism, in light of what happened) is a dialogue between two different sets of ideas about how to fix problems – sometimes conservatives have a better idea, sometimes liberals do, but it is most important that we both come to the table willing to look at what the other side has. I have always valued my parents thoughts on policy, even though most of the time they were opposite from mine, because I know that they work hard to be informed and that they are good people. Throughout the campaign, Trump dropped the bar lower and lower for what was acceptable from a candidate – lack of knowledge, transparency, and just basic decency. In the end, that’s what I’m the most sad about – that now it’s like it’s ok for someone to say the things he said and act the way he did. I had hoped at the end of the day, no matter how much you dislike Hillary (and I know my parents really do), you would admit that she is someone equipped to govern the country, while with him we’re really just rolling the dice. Of course I’m hoping that we’ll get lucky and he will govern with a competency we haven’t seen from him yet. But in the meantime I do think it’s tragic that decency is no longer a qualification for president.

    I spent time during the campaign calling strangers and knocking on doors in neighborhoods I never would have visited otherwise because it mattered to me that I did everything I could to prevent this outcome. Now, I feel it’s equally important that I keep up with that activism and work to connect with people as far outside of my bubble as I can get. Not only to try to help those who are most at risk as a result of potential Trump policies, but to get on a human level with people as different from me as possible. That includes, especially, people who voted for Trump. I honestly believe – again with the idealism – that when we see each other face to face, see where we live, what problems face us personally, what we are forced to do to cope, that we will treat each with compassion and kindness and develop solutions that don’t leave anyone behind. If Hillary had been elected, I probably would not feel the urgency to pursue those goals this deeply, so in a way that is one silver lining.

    Thanks again, Emily, for providing us with this forum. It’s helped me so much.


    1. Great comment Ashley!

  166. Are liberals really being inclusive and loving towards all people if they are fighting against what 50% of this country wants? I feel the response of yours and others is such a scream of how you are so hypocritical in what you voice. 50% of this nation doesn’t like how Obama governed for the past 8 years. Doesn’t like the direction of America and yet you hate them so much. It’s interesting to me how loud you scream your opinions, but refuse to accept others opinions.

    1. Destructive fights in the streets, loud blog posts, loud Instagram stories– These all scream hate to me not LOVE.

    2. Are you really asking or trying to feel superior?

    3. I agree with you…..I also feel like CNN and other left media are actually inciting hate, I feel like we can lay a lot of this mess at the feet of the far left media.

    4. First, I keep seeing “50% of this country,” and I shake my head every time. 50% of this country didn’t even vote, and the majority of votes cast were not for Trump. So if we’re going to talk numbers without hypocrisy, let’s be accurate: about 28% of this country wanted this man in office enough to vote for him. That’s actually been comforting.

      Second, if this election has taught us anything, it’s that hate is a strong word. It’s exactly why I couldn’t cast a vote for Trump: he ran a race not on issues, not on solutions, but on hate. On scapegoating. On fearmongering. He demeaned women and the disabled, he bragged about sexual assault, he labeled entire groups of people as violent or rapists or terrorists, and he named someone who fights for legalized discrimination and thinks you can shock someone straight his right hand man. Do I hate Trump? No. I think he’s a racist, sexist, narcissistic xenophobe (who may or may not be a pedophile), and it scares me to death that someone like that is now the most powerful man in this country. I hate the outcome of this election. I hate the ugliness he’s unleashed. I hate the limbo and fear my family and friends — full of women, full of people of color, full of LGBT and disabled people — are living in now, and will be living through for the next four years. THIS is why we as liberals are responding the way we are. Are trying to process. Are protesting. Seeing it reduced to liberal “whining” over and over again, when so many people are now fearing for their actual lives, really rankles. So yes, I will be fighting — with my voice, with my actions, and with my wallet.

      And as a throwaway third, because this party line needs to stop — the notion that someone has to respect your opinion applies to things like “I hate bananas,” not “I hate Muslims.” Respect and inclusivity ends there.

  167. YES! These are the kinds of thoughts/conversations that we should have been having all along. As someone who usually identifies as conservative, I still agree with or completely understand/sympathize with every word you wrote. When people share their beliefs with humility, realizing that not everything is black and white, it is so easy to find common ground. I hope you’ll keep sharing your political voice and facilitating conversations between real people.

  168. Hi Emily! Such a heartbreaking time in our country and I want to thank you for using your platform for meaningful discussion toward healing. I agree with you; you and share the same values and seem to have the same stance and I so appreciate the forum you’ve created to help those of us “liberals” try to help understand the views of those who chose to vote differently than we did. I loved Hillary from day 1. I loved her back when she ran for Obama and it took me much longer to appreciate him as the democratic candidate after he won the primaries. And, although I became a much bigger fan later, I did recognize at the time that perhaps him being the agent for change in Washington really was the better play than going with a seasoned insider. He seemed to embody and be more of what America needed. However, obstructionist Congress and simple ineptitude in Washington stifled a lot of the good I think he (and we) hoped he would do in office. And for that reason I was all the more assured in Hillary as the right choice to lead our nation. But America, especially as I’ve learned more via the comments here, was desperate for more change– a kind of desperation I certainly didn’t understand well, and I don’t think Hillary did enough to show that she did understand. So much of the negativity that surrounded Hillary during this election (and in 2008) I found, through my own research, to be merit-less. And, knowing someone who went to high school with Hillary, and having that person tell me that Hillary is the same now as she was then– fighting for right, trying to make things better, and being involved– I eventually decided she had done more in her actions to prove her character than any of the other candidates. And Trump had done more with his actions to prove his character too. And one was clearly someone whose actions I agreed with and whose character I admired. The other struck a kind of fear in me that I still am struggling to reconcile. Being overt or even covertly racist? Deal breaker. Being masogynistic? Deal breaker. (I could go on and on, but suffice it to say, Trump was never someone whose character I could support.)
    I read every single one of Hillary’s public statements about Benghazi and she never lied. Yet media, both on the right and left, perpetuated this rhetoric that people didn’t trust her because she “lied.” She didn’t. Media rhetoric around the email witch hunt made it seem like it was Watergate. It wasn’t. Again, I could go on and on here. I found lots of accusation, not a lot of truth in the arguments against her character. Trump didn’t need accusation. He put it all out there for us to see (except for his tax returns). It was on tape. It was in his speeches. One of the commenters on your post asking for Trump supporters to weigh in was by someone with the same name and I actually had a knot in my stomach that you might think she was me– since there aren’t that many of us with this name, and we knew each other in high school. And maybe that’s why we both think so much alike about government and its role– we had a similar experience growing up in the community in which we lived, which was safe, and tolerant, and economically advantaged. Maybe if we grew up in some of these desperate communities where change at any cost was the only way out, maybe we would have also been more able to forgive Trump his flaws? It’s so hard for me to imagine, but I’m really trying to put myself in the shoes of those who did. Amd I’m trying to understand, because we have to move forward. We have to heal. And your blog has helped people try and understand both sides, which I so appreciate.

  169. You are a very kind person Emily, perhaps too kind in this response to the election results. You can build an articulate argument for placing leadership of our country in the hands of a racist and sexist, but that does not make it right.

  170. I’m pretty sure my comment was deleted? Which makes me feel that having a president who is willing to go to small town America, and hear their voices too, may be the is the best move for our country. I love America, even those who I don’t agree with. If Hillary had one, I would have accepted that the majority of America wanted to go in that direction. I would have accepted that even though I have a voice, it’s that of a minority.

  171. Hey Emily! I so appreciate your posts on the election. It has been a relief from other blogger who completely shut down and shut out readers that have different opinions than the ones they hold.

    Unbiased media is an oxymoron. It is so hard to decipher the truth from media outlets and even within those sources there are varying degrees from different journalists. It’s been one of my biggest struggles in trying to educate myself.

    I did not vote for Trump but I also did not vote for Hillary. I live in Alabama and undoubtedly knew our state would be “red.” I decided to vote 3rd party as more of a statement to our state and our nation that the two party system is not working anymore. I didn’t feel like either candidate represented me or our nation.

    I hope to vote for our first woman president but it wasn’t this year.

    I think no matter where you stand it’s important to be openminded, supportive, and kind.

  172. I don’t believe that conservatives are racist or sexist, nor do I believe that a majority of them voted for Trump because of the ignorant, hurtful things that he has said or done, but what made me most sad for our country is that so many Americans voted for him IN SPITE of these statements and actions. I am grateful my son is not old enough for me to have to explain the results of the election to him; how I would not permit such hurtful rhetoric in my own home, but the country just elected a man who openly and proudly said these things in an effort to obtain votes.

    I was on the verge of tears not because my chosen candidate didn’t win, but because half of America either sympathizes with these opinions, or is indifferent to them.

    I struggle to understand how we heal from the deep resentment and hostility Americans feel towards “others” in this country and learn to work together to make America even better than (i thought) it already is.

  173. Well said, Emily. I too, am a liberal and supported Hillary, in spite of her flaws, as the most qualified for the job. I will try to keep an open mind about Pres-elect Trump, but found his persona so distasteful and repugnant, the idea of him as President is still one that I am having a hard time wrapping my brain around. It is as though the decorum of the office doesn’t matter and we have an uncouth, offensive person in charge. This doesn’t seem consistent with the US. Maybe that is the whole point. There is this other half of the country that we are now acutely aware of who felt disenfranchised. That’s a good lesson for the Democrats to have learned. Trump will need to bring EVERYONE together–including minorities, and others he has insulted. I read an interesting article this AM that talked about the views of the creator of the comic strip Dilbert. He described the tactic that Trump used of “pacing and leading”. By throwing out the shocking rhetoric (pacing), he attracted his base, but now that he has them, he will lead them to an end result that is less extreme–i.e. deport the Muslims becomes deport the Muslims who break the law, etc. There were more examples, and this shows his brilliance in building his base. And maybe it means he will not be as extreme as we thought. Trump will need to keep in mind that Hillary won the popular vote, and he did NOT get a mandate from this country. We will have to keep pushing the liberal causes that you outlined so well, so the less fortunate of the country will be heard and helped. Right now, this big divide in the country is very upsetting. But maybe it will actually bring about some good change, or mobilize the Democratic party in a direction that will engage the voters for 2020. I just read an article in the morning paper about Trump’s style–he doesn’t read–brags he never finishes a book. Good luck with that Donald. He uses his gut to make decisions. Frightening. I loved that Obama (and the Clintons) were smart, wonky leaders. Will be missing that.

  174. I want a leader for the USA to have the knowledge and experience to actually lead. I am not turned off by HRC’s decades of experience. I see that as such value. She has concrete plans, based on a significant amount of research and data, this is incredibly important to me. Finally, she has been FIGHTING for children and women her entire career. Let’s just think about how radical it was and IS to equate women’s rights as HUMAN rights.
    It would have hurt no matter which opponent won, but DJT is NOT a competent political leader. This is not the office to be a political “outsider.” It is essentially the most powerful position in the entire world and I want someone who clearly knows more about the world at the helm.
    And on to that “outsider” concept – his transition team and potential cabinet appointees are full of INSIDERS. Since he has no detailed plans his policies can easily be shaped by all the lobbiests and career politicians he railed against. So that’s basically back to business as usual. How does that even make sense? I have so much to say but bottom line is that being a whip-smart, badass, fiercely passionate woman was not ENOUGH!

  175. I am a life-long conservative and a Christian, but I did not vote for Trump. I could not align myself with him for so many reasons and I am honestly grieving with all of you who voted for Hillary, even though I did not. I wept at her concession speech because there was a part of me that would have rejoiced in a woman president- regardless of differing philosophies- and because her speech was so gracious, well-spoken and respectful that I wept that “our” candidate/president-elect is not. I’m writing to thank you for opening up the conversation. I have found it so odd to be identifying so much more with liberals post-election than what has historically been my party (no longer). I posted an Alec Baldwin tweet to my FB yesterday. He wrote about how the term “Christian” is forever changed as it applies to politics and I found it so true and heartbreaking! I added my own commentary that by evangelicals supporting Trump they’ve (we’ve) lost credibility, lost in our fight to be known for loving others and lost the ability to ever say again that “character matters”. For what?! A chance at the “right” justices or “our” laws being passed?? It’s so disheartening. I, and a small group of my friends, don’t find reason to rejoice in his victory for these and many other reasons. A small group of friends who wouldn’t even comment on my FB post (privately messaged me) because of the inevitable backlash! You wouldn’t believe the stuff coming through my newsfeed for months. So many negative, inflammatory things about Hillary and all the YOU-HAVE-TO-VOTE-FOR-TRUMP! posts – the pressure to vote for him was exhausting! Anyway, your post also brought tears to my eyes. We agree on so much, really. I think the core of our disagreement is the “how” those things that are all of our core values are accomplished. It has been very helpful for me to read your reasoned, respectful post and many of these comments and to think deeply again about issues that have long been settled beliefs for me. Thank you, Emily.

    1. Thank you. I really appreciate your comment and right now i’m sad again and appreciate hearing a conservative be sad with me. xx

  176. Emily, I want to thank you for being so open and facilitating this discussion. So, much of what you defined being liberal I agree with 100 percent. (Minus what you said about vaccines and the media, in some parts, as I’m a local journalist).

    I cried voting for Hillary Clinton. Tears of joy. And six months ago I was kind of meh on her. But watching this campaign, her class, her wit, her vision for the country, what she is able to sustain. I was so inspired to vote for her again. I was proud. I really believed the first two presidents in my son’s lifetime would be a black man and a white women.

    Instead, the most qualified person that ever ran for president — male or female — was defeated by a reality TV star with no experience governing, who happily accepted the endorsement of the KKK and folks that think I, as a journalist, deserve to be hung for exercising my First Amendment rights outlined in the Constitution. Many of those folks are very quick to cite the Second Amendment, but they seem to forget about freedom of speech and the press.

    I voted for her in the 2008 primary. I loved Obama but I didn’t believe he could accomplish what he promised with the gridlock in Washington. (Unfortunately, I was right on that.) I voted for him twice and have loved to see the social progress we’ve made. I love seeing the Obamas in the White House and I think they’ve been amazing role models demonstrating class, compassion, humor and love to the American people, even when it isn’t returned.

    But, like many of the folks that voted for Trump said, I’m not economically better off than I was in 2008. Why I think that is the case them sharply diverges from Trump voters. Failed Republican economic policies got us into this mess and the GOP has stopped progress at every step in the name of ideology. My local school taxes have gone up 30 percent because of a Republican governor in PA that cut school funding historically.

    I want my government to GOVERN. And Hillary Clinton has shown through 30-plus years in political life she can govern. She knows how to reach across the aisle, build consensus and get shit done. I’m really confused about what is so wrong with affordable health care (I fully acknowledge Obama Care needs work), subsidized child care and paid maternity leave. Supporting our families allows them to be more productive, contributing members of society.

    I believe strongly in reproductive rights. There’s a reason abortion rates DECLINE under Democrats. No woman wants an abortion. NO ONE. Also, my son was conceived via IVF, something some would also seek to block in the name of the pro-life cause. Without fertility treatments my son would not exist. That’s unacceptable to me. Our country has a separation of church and state for a reason. We should not legislate what anyone can do with their body.

    I am a Christian and I believe in social justice. Loving thy neighbor as thyself. I believe we are truly created equal as our founding fathers stated. It has taken us 200-plus years to get so close we could smell it. I truly believed LOVE TRUMPS HATE.

    And now it feels like it was taken away and that I was wrong. It is hard for me to understand how good people supported a demagogue, who was willing to say or do anything to get elected.

    I could never have voted for Trump, even if I aligned with him ideologically, because his treatment of women, racist comments, policies towards minorities are just INEXCUSABLE. I don’t understand how Christians can back such ideas.

    Hillary Clinton made some missteps in her career but the scandals that have plagued her this election cycle left me scratching my head. People point to Benghazi and claim that Clinton doesn’t care about veterans. Trump denigrated a Blue Star family. How is that supporting veterans?

    We’ve moved away from facts as a nation and instead choose to consume news/media that aligns with our own worldview. It leaves us unable to see the view point of others. I’m a work in progress on this myself.

    I’ve read Trump’s “policies” and I’ve read Clintons. I rely on sites like PolitiFact to sift fact from fiction. I read all sorts of news sources. My husband loves to listen to Conservative talk radio to break us out of any echo chamber we may be in.

    Several of my best friends are Republicans that voted for Trump. They are good people. But they aren’t pro-life Christians. Most voted for him because he was a Republican. They thought he’d keep them to their core Republican values.

    News flash: Trump was a Democrat until 2008. Many of his policies are decidedly not conservative. The markets have rebounded because a) cutting corporate taxes will be good for profit margins and b) Trump is proposing unprecedented infrastructure spending. I’m actually all for investing in our infrastructure.

    But that’s going to drive up the national debt like WOAH as will his tax cuts proposal. And GOP lawmakers, especially Tea Party ones, have blocked government spending at every turn the last 8 years over the national debt.

    He is not throwing out the establishment. He is working with lobbyists after decrying them. He’s considering Rudy Giuliani and Newt Gingrich for top cabinet level positions.

    I voted for Hillary Clinton because she is a hardworking, smart, tough-as-nails woman that truly cares about everyone in our nation. She has devoted her life to the public good.

    Trump is a liar that has devoted his life to getting rich on the backs of many. And I don’t know why anyone thinks he will be any different as president. I truly fear the amount of power he has, especially since our checks and balances are nonexistent with a GOP-controlled Congress. I pray that Republicans that have called Trump out for his xenophobia continue to do so and I truly hope I am wrong about him.

    As Obama said if he succeeds, America succeeds. And I want this old girl to be around in four years.

    1. I want to be your friend. We should be friends. Seriously. Thank you for the comment and I agree with most of your words. xx

  177. Emily–
    thanks for the invitation to an open and respectful dialogue. It is rare and would go a long way to healing the divide in our nation if we had more opportunity to listen to other viewpoints, and empathize, rather than demonize the opposition. One source who does this really well is Dave Rubin of http://www.rubinreport.com. He is a liberal who trying very hard to engage in discussion–not screaming matches as we are accustomed to seeing on networks.

    1. Thank you so much. I’m checking him out now. xx

  178. I live in New York City (Brooklyn) and voted for trump. Of course my vote was totally wiped out by the rest of the voters to went someting like 6:1 for HRC. I have a master’s degree and make a decent salary.

    Why did I vote for him? I didn’t. I voted to get her out of politics. I’m happy she lost but I’m not so sure if I’m happy he won except for the fact that I know he will restore some balance to the Supreme court.

    Most people I know didn’t appreciate it when she decided to move to NY and be our senator; it was rather patronizing, as though no one home-grown could do it as well as she could. Obviously, many more did because she was elected. Her record in the senate, however, is mediocre. I didn’t understand why someone who had such a history in Arkansas and afterword in the white house supporting her disgusting husband and demolishing the women who accused him of sexual abuse was considered trustworthy. She actually had to return things that she wasn’t authorized to take from the White House when she left (usually this is called theft). Her actions since then (clinton foundation, benghazi, email server, etc) haven’t changed my mind.

    I don’t hate Obama, but why would anyone trust him when he looked the American public in the eye and said they could keep their health plans and doctors and went ahead and created a health plan where they couldn’t? He lied and continues to lie.

    I don’t know what will be with trump. But I know what would have been with Hillary and I’m willing to take the chance.

    I think it’s interesting that everyone says Trump is against women when his campaign was run by a woman. Clinton’s was run by a man.

    I am ready for a woman to be president, but let’s make the first woman president someone who we want to emulate, not someone whose character and actions are under a cloud of suspicion. Condoleeza Rice, Kristin Gillibrand, and many others, whether I agree with their politics or not, come to mind.

    I repeat that I and most people I know voted against Clinton, not for Trump. We had enough of that dynasty and it’s time to move on.

  179. You have shown yourself to be tolerant, open-minded and willing to really listen to those you disagree with this week, and for that I am grateful!
    I know that anecdotal evidence is pretty terrible, BUT I simply must defend myself and most of my conservative friends against the notion that liberals “really” care about and empathize with all people, and conservatives don’t as their core value. Absolutely nothing could be further from the truth. Not only do the conservatives I know work extremely hard to care for their own families without government assistance, they also do so in order to help others. They are giving quite sacrificially of their time and resources to care for refugees, run child sponsorship organizations, foster and adopt children, house the homeless (yes, actually let homeless people live with them), and far more unseen acts. I don’t personally know a single liberal who has the same active lifestyle of really, really helping others, especially in a sacrificial way (as in, choosing to live barely above the poverty line, for the sake of others). Again, I know anecdotes are a bit unfair, but I believe many liberals are quite unfair in their caricature of conservatives.

    1. I completely agree. While I am not conservative, that has really bothered me and I find it completely unfair.

  180. I think this a good article about why women, of various ethnicities and backgrounds, voted for Trump:

    The Women Who Helped Donald Trump to Victory – The New York Times


  181. Dear Emily,

    Thank you for this open dialog. Well done.

  182. I thought some may be interested in reading this article regardless of which candidate you supported. For me, it’s a very good explanation as to why I voted for Trump. A vote for Hillary was a vote for a continuation of the Obama administration and it’s not what I wanted for the next four years.


    I voted for Trump because I want to see our economy work as best it can for everyone. In this day and age, national security is also very important to me and it is not something I was willing to entrust to Hillary. I do believe that when our economy is growing and prospering, our nation as a whole is better off socially as well. I’m not foolish enough to believe all social issues are resolved but the nation is in a much better place to work on the social issues. And yes, social issues are very important to me however, in my opinion, without a strong economy we’ll continually spin our wheels on the best way to address these issues.

    By voting for Trump, it does not mean I believe in, agree with or support everything that has come out of his mouth. I value all humans regardless of race, gender, religious beliefs, sexual orientation etc as do my conservative friends. I’m tired of the assumption that since I voted for him, I 100% agree with him. I’m very confident Trump will surround himself with very good people. With all his faults, he is a good businessman and good business people know to surround themselves with those who are as smart or smarter than themselves. I expect his cabinet positions to be filled with some very good and intelligent individuals.

    I also don’t believe our government should be responsible for the redistribution of wealth. Where I come from, giving financially to charitable causes and organizations and helping those who are in need of help is a way of life. I prefer to choose where my money goes as opposed to letting the government decide that for me. In reading through the comments, it read several times that this isn’t the norm for communities. That confuses me. If it’s not the norm, then participate, get involved to help make it the norm.

    On a side note, my college age daughter lost a good friend after she retweeted a tweet the other night. The tweet basically said, Just because I support Trump doesn’t mean I’m a racist or homophobic. A friend sent her a text telling her their friendship was over since she clearly was racist and homophobic because of the retweet. They had a really great relationship – suburban, white, straight, young lady and inner city, black, gay, young man – until her presidential candidate didn’t align with his. Ironic how he thought so highly of her for the past year and that all ended Tuesday night.

  183. Not sure why my previous comment was deleted. Here’s an article I thought others might find interesting. It offers an alternative explanation as to why Trump was elected.


  184. Thanks for your thoughts, Emily, well-written and very thoughtful.

    (The following doesn’t apply to you, or what you said above:) As for me, I am saddened by the name-calling and lack of empathy that has erupted from BOTH sides.

  185. Well said Emily. This is exactly how the majority of my friends feel (we live in DC which is blue, blue, blue) about being a liberal, voting for Hilary and why we find Trump reprehensible. I hope he proves us wrong. I really do. However, we can only blame ourselves. The majority of the Dems didn’t vote. While Hilary might have offended you on some level, why not vote? Even if you didn’t agree with her 100%? Dems allowed this to happen. So really, who’s fault is this? There’s a lot of blame going around but if you didn’t exercise your civil liberty, I don’t have a lot of sympathy. DC voted for Hilary. We stepped up. Where was the rest of the US?

  186. Thank you Emily! I loved what you had to say.
    I agree with so much of it. Originally, I was a supporter of Bernie Sanders, but I was so excited to tell my 6-year-old daughter that we were going to get the first woman President in our country. I don’t think I realized how much that issue meant to me until it was lost. 🙁

    I agree with so much of what you are saying Liberals (I am one, if you couldn’t tell already ;)) need to do.

    Thanks again for posting. xo

  187. Wow. I have read almost all of the comments here and I am (mostly) impressed with how civil the dialogue has been — starting with you, Emily.

    I am a 44 year old woman who has three kids and tends to lean more conservatively on some issues. I knew that I would have a very hard time voting for HRC because she is so incredibly liberal with regard to abortion. I don’t see abortion as an act that betters women or society; I feel it cheapens life and requires that women ignore a natural instinct: to protect their unborn babies. I feel that we owe it to women and babies to do better than abortion. I have worked at a pregnancy resource center for 6 years, and can tell you that we see high numbers of women who feel irreparably damaged by abortion. It is terribly sad. Our culture doesn’t give us a place to grieve something that is marketed to us as a “right”. It’s a mess. That being said, we are not there to talk women into anything; we are there to love and support them through whatever choice they make. It makes me incredibly sad to see how centers like mine are maligned in our culture. So many false things are said about us!

    However…..I simply could not bring myself to vote for Trump. As a Christian, he does not speak for me. I truly hate his exclusionary, mean-spirited rhetoric. I am close to someone I care very much about who told me that she voted for Trump because he was pro-life, and that she didn’t “look at the man”. That is irresponsible and profoundly disappointing to me. In my view, we can’t afford to ignore the character of the individual who will be running this country.

    I voted 3rd party, because I could not live with either candidate. I am so glad I did. I voted my conscience. HRC is too liberal for me (though I am totally with her inclusive platform). Trump is stunningly tone-deaf. Right or wrong, that’s where I landed.

  188. ( English is not my native lenguaje so I apologize in advance)
    The “problem” with this post is this: it’s completely base on feelings, opinions but there is not a single fact!
    You run a bussines for crying out loud, you know how fundamental facts are. (can you tell a client: I feel like this tile is good base on feelings? or do you tell your client this tile is great base on facts? I’m pretty sure you do research a product before talking to your client).
    You said you are a big fan of Obama right? Ok, name a single great thing that he has done in his 8 years of presidency base on facts! Not base on your opinion not your feelings. It may change your mind 😉
    Anyway here is some great media sources:
    – Free domain radio, he has a YouTube chanel as well.
    -Milo yiannopoulos he writes for Breitbart and has a YouTube Chanel.
    -Ann coulter, she is the writer of Adios America and in Trump we trust, great source of information.
    The “problem” with this post is this: it’s completely base on feelings, opinions but there is not a single fact!
    You run a bussines for crying out loud, you know how fundamental facts are. (can you tell a client: I recoment this tile base on your feelings? or do you tell your client this tile is great/bad base on facts? I’m pretty sure you do research a product before talking to your client).
    You said you are a big fan of Obama right? Ok, name a single great thing that he has done in his 8 years of presidency base on facts! Not base on your opinion not your feelings. It may achange your mind 😉
    Anyway here is some great media sources:
    – Free domain radio, he has a YouTube chanel as well.
    -Milo yiannopoulos he writes for Breitbart and has a YouTube Chanel.
    -Ann coulter, she is the writer of Adios America and in Trump we trust, great source of information.

  189. Emily – thank you for writing so eloquently about this topic. I so appreciate it and you are 100% right. It is always a good reminder to be open minded and more importantly, to be kind to everyone.

  190. First of all, thanks for providing this forum – it is such a rarity in the blog world to be given a space to have meaningful, constructive conversation. Secondly, I apologize if I’m repeating things that other people said before; I understand I’m late to the game on this post.

    I voted for Hillary because I firmly believe she was the most qualified person for the job. I believe that if Hillary were a man she would have been easily elected. I believe that misogyny and sexism played a huge role in this election, even if it was largely under the table. I also believe that racism played a huge part. Whether or not, we white people choose to acknowledge it, our country was founded on racist ideals and continues to proliferate white supremacist ideology. Since, the Constitution has been mentioned several times, it is probably important to note that African Americans were literally not even considered whole human beings at the time it was written. Slavery was not abolished until 1875, and racist Jim Crow (separate but equal) laws were legal until 1964. Just because something is legal does not make it just. And just like the Constitution gives us the right to bear arms, it also gives us the right to protest (The very 1st Amendment, no less!).

    I voted for Hillary, because I do not believe that Trump actually respects our Constitution, and certainly not the First Amendment (as evidenced by his ongoing lawsuits and intimidation tactics used against the press). I do not believe that Trump respects women. I believe that while not all Trump supporters may not be racist, Trump’s policies are. And I believe that the backlash against Obama is also firmly routed in racism. I also do not believe that Trump’s policies will bring more jobs to this country, and I believe he will tank the economy.

    I voted for Hillary because as a woman I am scared to lose my rights. I also have over six figures in student loans. I chose to go to law school to become a public interest attorney, to aid people who cannot afford their own legal representation. One of the reasons I made that choice, was because of the federal government’s loan forgiveness program that forgives student loans after ten years of public service. There is no way I would be able to afford law school, or committing myself to public service without that program, and I am terrified that Trump will abolish it.

    I voted for Hillary, because Trump’s xenophobic rhetoric is eerily similar to Hitler’s. My family barely escaped Europe during the Holocaust, and the chance that we’re moving backwards towards fascism is truly terrifying.

    I voted for Hillary, because of love for my LGBTQ, immigrant, People of Color, women, and Muslim friends. My friends who are now literally scared for their lives and rights. Friends, who in the last two days, have been threatened and attacked by people who support Trump. While, I don’t believe Hillary was the perfect candidate, I believe she was the better candidate. Actively espousing hatred and ill-will towards minorities has no place in the White House. We have a lot of work to do as a nation, but we must face our short-comings to do so. Denying our past mistakes will lead us only to repeat them.

  191. I turned 18 over the summer and this was the very first election that I was able to vote in.

    I know that this is stupid/silly to some people, but a large reason I voted for Hillary is because she is a woman. I wanted a president who would shatter the glass ceiling for me, the young girls in my life I love and care for, my sister, my mother and my future daughters and granddaughters. I wanted a president who had been pregnant and given birth, who knew what it was like to balance motherhood and having a career, who got their period, who had experienced sexism and actively fought against it. That is something that has never been in the White House and is extremely needed.

    I also voted for Hillary because she is extremely qualified. She had been a first lady, a senator, secretary of state, and led movements and organizations I support.

    I voted for Hillary because I agree with her liberal fiscal, foreign, and social policies. Unlike many of my peers, I didn’t support Bernie in the primary election. I felt his ideas were unrealistic and in some cases too extreme. Hillary’s platforms are well thought out, reasonable, and would have had a positive impact on the world, had she been elected.

    I felt that a president Hillary would have moved the world into a brighter future for everyone. For me, that meant easier access to better reproductive healthcare including abortions and birth control, lessening of the gender wage gap, and sexual harassment and assault becoming a thing of the past.

    While I still disagree, I can understand how kind, well-educated Americans can support Trump’s social, fiscal, and economic policies over Hillary’s, but I cannot understand how you can overlook his actions and rhetoric enough to vote for him.

    I despise Donald Trump and do not support him as president, but I don’t feel the same way about his supporters. Over the last 18 months (or however long it has been), I think I’ve seen enough of Donald to dislike him and his policies. But, I don’t know anything about those who voted for him. I am sure that there are kind, educated, hard-working people who voted for him for different reasons. I want to work with you to make the our country and world a better place where we all prosper and put our differences aside for the greater good. I look forward to getting to know Trump supporter and compromising on issues so we can all be happy.

  192. I have never written on a public blog before but, my heart was heavy when I read your plea to understand the results of the election. I know so many people are still reeling from the disappointment. I fully expected Hillary Clinton to win the election although, I did not vote for her. I chose not watch the election Instead, I went to bed early praying for the woman I thought would be my president in the morning. You see, one man or one woman or a government cannot dictate my hope of the future. My hope has to be something bigger, wiser, and much more capable. I personally choose to believe in God. This has been one of my favorite quotes: “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” I believe that good can come from any situation, it all depends on perspective and a faith. In an election someone has to lose and someone has to win. President Obama said it beautifully his speech on November 9th, “The point though is that we all go forward with a presumption of good faith in our fellow citizens, because that presumption of good faith is essential to a vibrant and functioning democracy. That’s how this country has moved forward for 240 years. It’s how we’ve pushed boundaries and promoted freedom around the world. That’s how we’ve expanded the rights of our founding to reach all of our citizens. It’s how we have come this far.” The good faith in our fellow Americans is not an expectation of perfection. We are all flawed in some way or another. We make ourselves better and our nation better by extending to each other the kindness, respect and grace we hope would be given to us when things go our way and when they do not; when we understand and when we do not. I apologize for those who have not shown that kindness or sensitivity.
    Mother Teresa is known to have said, “If you want to change the world, go home and love your family.” In other words, change starts at home. I totally agree with what you said about coming together as a nation. If we want to unify a nation, we should go out and love our neighbor like we want to be loved. So that being said, I will go about living by the principles that have always guided my life. I will make a meal for my friend who is fighting breast cancer. I will rake leaves for a widowed neighbor. I will donate to help a local food pantry in my community. I will teach my kids to respect their mom and dad and continue to honor those in authority over them. I will do as President Obama said and be “confident that this incredible journey that we’re on, as Americans, will go on.”

    Thank you for opening your heart to understanding.

  193. Thank you for expressing what so many of us feel. I am in Houston (where a majority voted for HIllary) and know many who voted for Trump, primarily because they are life long republicans and adamantly pro life. I am not convinced that Trump will deliver on many of his promises to these well meaning people. I have enormous respect for Hillary and believe that no one could withstand the same level of scrutiny. Her concession speech was incredibly gracious.

    I worry that the Presidency is all about power for Trump. I also worry about what they will do to the White House! I will miss our President Obama, who (in my opinion) was the perfect example of what a President, a citizen, a father and a friend should be.

  194. Emily, thank you for this excellent post. I am currently a Republican, but I could NOT vote for Trump and will be changing to Independent because I like and strongly don’t like things in each party. The way so many talk disparagingly about the opposing party with sweeping generalizations and assumptions does not help us progress and understand each other. This whole election was just so distasteful. Let’s hope Trump stops with the very damaging theatrical nonsense (it worked! he got people stirred up and excited! it worked on tv, now let’s use it to win an election!) and will now be reasonable and listen to a variety of smart people from both sides. It can happen, right??? Maybe they could also help him with his hair and spray tan, too. 🙂 This election should cause people to become more involved in their communities and the political process and that will be a good thing. I’m really trying to look for good things! Again, thanks for your intelligent and thoughtful post and, of course, your gorgeous website.

  195. I’m an independent who doesn’t understand why both parties and all the good values can’t work together.

    Neither freedom nor equality came into my decision in the end. It was simply about not trusting a person with blood on her hands to not spill more blood.

  196. Hi Emily! I know there is a lot to read on here, so hope I’m not just adding to the noise. Just wanted to mention that I think some conservative people would disagree with the idea that they care more about “freedom than equality.” I think there are people who love people who are liberal, and people who love people who are conservative, but they have different ideas about what is best for people. In the same way that some parents show love by paying for their kids to go to college, and some parents show love by encouraging their kids to get a job and start saving so that they can pay their way through college. I think the reason well-intentioned conservatives feel so belittled by some liberals is that some liberals talk as though they care more about the needs of the poor/marginalized, and it doesn’t feel like conservatives are heard when they try to explain that that isn’t always the case. I read once that people who vote conservative tend to give away larger percentages of their income than people who vote liberal. Obviously that doesn’t apply down to the individual, but it holds up in my personal experience. I live in Canada, and if I lived in the US, I would have voted independent, or gone to the polls and spoiled my ballot, because I do not think corrupt people can lead well whatever their ideologies, and both Hillary and Trump have proven themselves to be corrupt. However, I do often vote with the thought that smaller government makes it more possible for social justice to happen within the context of relationship (through churches or communities), which is far more effective and less wasteful than a government program ever can be. Your makeover for Sylvia was a beautiful act of charity. No government worker could have ever even approached the gift that you gave her in that. If everyone who was liberal said, “in the absence of big government, I will set aside the amount I believe I should be taxed for charitable giving”… that money would have far greater impact than if it were taken off in taxes. And, if 50%ish of Americans are liberal, and only they could be counted to love others well enough to give like that, that would still get the job done better than it is being done now. Add to that the fact that I believe many conservatives are also generous and wanting to see people freed from poverty and oppression… Anyway, not saying that in the hopes of changing your mind. But, if you want to keep conservatives from getting their backs up, I think it is important to realize that it’s not “freedom”, always, that they value. Some of us believe that there are better ways to provide equality.

    1. Thank you for this comment! However, I don’t think Trump is corrupt, but I do know he’s far from perfect. Other than that one point, I agree with everything else you said!!

      1. Thank you!

  197. Humans are irrational decision makers. It is fact that we make decisions on emotion and THEN justify them with logic. In a scientific test scientists proved that our minds are made up 7seconds before we are consciously ‘aware’ of the decision we will make.

    The real truth is we individually resonated with one candidate and then search out sources to prove ourselves right. As someone who resonated with Trump, I resonated with his success, getting stuff done, straight talking, outside the system, and I didn’t resonate with Hillary because to me she was fake, the same old same old, and felt like she was hiding something. I resonated with Obama because of hope, a better future, I saw honest, down to earth likability. What did you resonate with?

  198. Emily, thank you for opening up the conversation about this.

    I consider myself a democrat for the same reasons as you do, and agree with almost anything you said. After election night unfolded, I was angry. I felt defeated. I was worried.

    But I quickly realized that dismissing other people for their opinions will not help anyone. It’s important to open up the conversation and try to understand why people believe the things they believe. Why people vote the way they vote.

    I think that’s exactly what you did with this post.

  199. Thank you, Emily. And may I add a shout-out re climate change and environmental issues, calling us to something bigger and wiser.

  200. Here’s what I’ve seen the last few days on Facebook and social media platforms. I’ve watched an awful lot of supposedly open minded liberals bash fellow human beings, calling them racist, homophobic, ignorant and much worse. It’s not okay. It’s never okay to lash out in anger at another person. Isn’t that what we’re so angry about when it comes to race relations?? Isn’t that why we can’t stand people who bash members of the LGBT community?? So called “free thinkers” are doing EXACTLY what we hate in other people. It’s not okay and it accomplishes NOTHING.

    We need to rise above the name calling and learn how to listen. All of us!!!! I live in a very diverse neighborhood and I’ve talked to people who voted for Trump. They’re not awful people. They’re people who were frustrated with politics for a lot of reasons and voted for someone who wasn’t a career politician. Honestly, no one I talked to cared about Hillary’s emails. They hated the fact that she’d been in Washington DC for most of the last 30 years. Very few of them like Trump as a person but they were drawn to the fact that he wasn’t a politician. My neighbors aren’t racist or homophobic. Our neighbor across the street marched in our city’s gay pride parade with her son. She also voted for Trump.

    If we, as Democrats and Liberals or whatever don’t take our blinders off and learn to listen and compromise, this country is lost. The same goes for the other side. We’re all human beings who have opinions, values and something to contribute. If we turn away from those human beings simply because we don’t understand them, none of us will ever grow. And if you continue to call them names, they’ll never listen to you either. My mother was a national collegiate debate champion. She beat Harvard to win that honor. She told me something 6 or 7 years before she passed away. If you’ve resorted to name calling, you’ve lost the argument. Period. You’ve moved into temper tantrum territory and won’t be listened to anymore. She was right!!!!! We need to stop the name calling.

    I personally plan to spend the next four years treating EVERYONE I meet with love. It’s my responsibility to be kind and loving to everyone, regardless of who they voted for. I’ll continue to volunteer in my community and will support people who do the same. What I won’t support is a mob mentality that relies on name calling to make a point. From either side. That needs to stop.

  201. Emily, thank you for posting this. After this tough election it has felt bizarre to see other bloggers post regular content without acknowledging the events of Tuesday. Thanks for recognizing the election and for creating a platform to try to understand the rift in our country.

  202. I don’t think people voted for Trump because he’s an outsider. I think people voted for Trump because they are racist, xenophobic, and sexist. It’s a lot easier to claim one wants an outsider than it is to look inside oneself and realize there are some dark parts there. I don’t judge people for having those parts – we all have them. I do judge people for not taking the time to listen to and understand those parts and make a different decision despite the fear and negativity those parts arouse.

    Thanks for creating a space for discussion without violence, Emily.

    1. Whoa!!! What happened to not judging others?

  203. I didn’t consider myself a liberal really but after reading your post and agreeing with possibly all of it, I guess I’m a liberal. Thank you for your example of an open mind. I am still sad and mourning the outcome of the election but reading your post gives me a bit of hope. Thank you dear and God bless your sweet family!

  204. I voted for Hilary because the plans she proposed and her goals for America aligned with what are important to me. I am a child and family therapist serving low-income, high-risk, and often over-looked populations. I’ve dedicated my professional life to giving my clients a voice and (hopefully) an improved chance for a successful and healthy life. The field I work in has shown to decrease teen pregnancy, cycles of domestic violence, substance dependence, and teen incarcerations. It’s important work that relies heavily on government funding. My clients often cannot afford co-pays or transporatation to appointments. The more funding available, the more help we can provide. None of us are getting rich from it and our budgets are always stretched thin. Also, the clients I work with are mostly minorities and LGBTQ+ youth, so a candidate who openly supports these groups is a candidate who really resonates with me.

    In my personal life, I am the mother of a child with a very rare genetic disorder. He is two but has the functioning of a infant. He has an intellectual disability, does not speak, and will likely never be able to care for himself. Hilary Clinton’s history of fighting for children with disabilities meant a lot to me as a voter. I also was relieved to see she had a comprehensive plan for education and in-home services for children with special needs. The uncertainty of my son’s future is heart breaking and it was comforting to have a candidate who appeared to be on his side.

    I won’t go into Trump. For all I know, what we saw on TV wasn’t an accurate portrayal of who he is. I’m just so worried for my kid’s future now and how my clients will be treated in their own home.

  205. Hi Emily, I agree with everything you have said and I am appreciative for taking a risk on your blog with this forum. I hope you and others read this article:

  206. I appreciate the civility of the conversation, and an opportunity to see other perspectives, but I am still struggling to understand the conservative mentality. I don’t see conservatives as valuing freedom. If that were true the conservative movement would be behind family planning, marriage equality, and civil rights.

    Can someone help me understand this disconnect? It feels to me that conservative voters see the world through the narrow scope of their own experience, without considering the complexities of another individual’s reality. It feels like an adherence to individualism rather than freedom.

    1. Hi Tyan! I think there are people who are conservative for different reasons (as well as people who are liberal for different reasons), so I can’t speak for everyone “conservative”, and especially not for “Republicans” (I am Canadian and would not have voted for Trump if I did live in the US). But I think, as a starting point, that the best way to think of it is to remember that parents have all sorts of varying opinions about how to best love their children (ie. some want to love their child be preventing any and all injuries and some want to love their child by letting them learn through experience what is safe and what is not). You want to see certain people loved in a certain way, but someone else might want them treated differently… *but still want that because they want to see that person loved.* To answer your questions specifically:

      Re: family planning — we believe we need to defend the unborn baby’s right to live as a priority over defending the mother’s right to not have to carry an unwanted baby, because we think the unborn baby is the weakest person in that situation/relationship. (We also believe it is actually better for the mother to endure the hardship of a carrying an unwanted baby than the emotional/physical consequences of an abortion. And, especially, that she should be cared for financially, physically and emotionally while carrying the child, in order to experience either the joy of motherhood or the redemption of adoption on the other side of what seemed like a very dark situation.)

      Re: same-sex marriages — we believe we need to defend the child’s right to be raised by both a mother and father as a priority over defending the adult’s right to be in the sort of relationship they feel suits them best, because we believe the child is the weakest person in that situation/relationship. (We also believe that those adults will be more fulfilled, longterm, if they do what is best for society than what is best for themselves as individuals.)

      Re: civil rights — we absolutely believe that we need to defend people who are disadvantaged because of their race as a priority over defending the status quo, because we believe that they, as the “weak” should be defended by those who are “strong”. [In my family of “conservatives” 6/6 couples are single-income families (none six figures) buying at Canadian prices (higher than American) and being taxed at Canadian rates (also higher than American) who sacrifice many personal comforts in order to annually donate 20+% of our income to charitable causes both locally and overseas.]

      For me — who would call myself “conservative” (but, again, NOT “Republican”) — I don’t think of “freedom” as nearly as much of a priority as justice. And I think that justice comes when those with more power, willingly relinquish it for the sake of those who are disempowered. I don’t think a government can or ought to enforce morality, but it can create and enforce laws that are aimed at defending the defenceless. And I think the best governments encourage and facilitate individual people to do that whenever and however possible.

      For the life of me I don’t understand why political parties align on issues the way they do. It seems each party is saying “THESE people are important to defend, and these people are not!” Why doesn’t America (or Canada) have a party who wants to defend *everyone* who needs defending? My ideal party/politician would: defend the rights of the public against needless gun violence by enforcing stricter regulations on gun usage/ownership; defend the rights of the unborn against the more powerful adults who conceive them (I know the women who are pregnant are often very disadvantaged themselves, but I believe they are still more powerful than an unborn baby); defend the poor in our global family by offering shelter here for some, relief there for others, and as much peace and protection as possible in this complex, violent world; defend the rights of the poor by providing a base level of government care so that people can receive necessary healthcare/food/shelter/education/protection (especially for the poor and marginalized); and, most of all, defend the rights of all the needy and oppressed by creating huge incentives for those who opt to use their personal time and money to serve those around them, so that more money/time is invested by individuals in relational initiates (more personal, more efficient, more effective) rather than by government programs which on top of being inefficient, are often completely incapable of succeeding at their defined task (ie. schools in poor neighbourhoods, which may succeed with a few kids, but are largely failing to reach them en mass). It regularly baffles me that there aren’t more people who want to defend *everyone* (particularly the person who is most weak in any given relationship/situation)… and so many who are militantly sure that defending “this” list of people is obviously the priority, even if it comes at the cost of defending “this” list of people.

      Which is all to say, I’m not giving the same answer here as someone who voted for Trump might. But, I would call myself “conservative”, and I love people and feel responsible to share what I have with those who have less, and to use any privilege I may have to empower those with less power… I just believe a different set of things are best for people than you do. Does that make sense?

  207. You have said pretty much exactly what I feel but I could never said it as eloquently as you just did. I feel such a responsibility to HELP. Anyone, anything (animals), anytime. Not because I’m a saint (I’m not, I assure you) and certainly not for a thank you. For no reason other than it is the right thing to do. I have a home, a bed, food to eat, and best of all a loving family. I have SO MUCH. There are so many who don’t, and honestly I don’t care why they don’t, but I know most of the time it’s something that they have little or no control over. I am not Christian or any other religion, but I think one of the reasons we’re here is to be the best human we can be, and help others when we can. This was a most enlightening mini-series you’ve done here. Thank you.

    1. p.s. Yes. I voted for Hilary.

  208. People may forget what you said, they may forget what you did. But they will NEVER forget how they made you feel.
    Maya Angelu
    I could never vote for a man that made me feel “dirty”. And it wasn’t what he said about women.

  209. I don’t know if i should write this on this post (and I think I actually just wrote it on a design post!! haha oops!!) or the other one, but I read both of them and wanted to share.

    I think where some conservatives come from and what my own family has directly experienced is that there are people in this country who work hard and deserve to be compensated. But it seems as if there are some people in this country who are either born here or come here thinking they can live off of the good of someone else and not work for something themselves. Please understand I don’t say this to be mean. I’ve wrestled with this with some of my own family members. Instead of going out and getting a job, which they are COMPLETELY capable of doing, they have said its boring to get a job and they would rather have fun and live off of welfare. It just seems as if sometimes those who are working hard for their money are punished and forced to give to those who do not care.

    Yet I understand there are others who are working tirelessly and need a break. I think the problem is that many people were tired of this. The way the government is set up with Obama and from what Hillary said of her policies its hard to decipher between the two. There are people in this world who need our help and need our care, and then we have a lot of entitled millenials who need to learn how to work and not be rewarded for laziness.

    Because of that A LOT of people wanted CHANGE!

    And although the media has highlighted many of Trump’s failings, he has done so much to help people who are truly in need and that is rarely shown. PLUS, a lot of hard working people are TIRED. The people who seem to need help aren’t getting it, and the ones who are living off of the good of others seem to get too much of it.

    I voted for Trump. And not because he was the only option. But because I wanted to. I was proud to. I’m 28 years old. I live in Los Angeles. And I went and cast my vote PROUDLY. I do not say this to offend others or to gloat, but because i feel like some people have been scared to say that they were proud to vote for him for fear of what some liberals are saying to and about what kind of people they must be.

    I just want to show that there are people, regular ones, like me who were proud to do it.

    I think for the most part… we all care about people and want to help people. We just see very different ways of doing it.

    Trump seemed to really be sick of the BS that our government has been a part of and has been taking part in for YEARS. He has given a lot to veterans and to families in need, and I have to say that my husband served for four years and the things and policies Obama had in place were hard on veterans. It affected many of his soldiers and it affected our family. There seemed to be little respect also. Its not just that my husband didn’t get paid as much, there were a large group of soldiers who truly were fearful because they felt their lives were more in danger by things Obama had made decisions about and things Hillary talked about. There seemed to be more care, respect, from Trump towards Veterans. And the things he said resonated with a lot of my husband’s soldiers.

    Now I”m sure there are many soldiers who felt differently, just sharing our own experience, because that is all that I have to share.

    And you’re right, I feel our government does waste A LOT of money, and Trump seemed to feel that way as well. Thats why we wanted to vote for him in that aspect as well.

    HIllary had a very long time to make changes and the changes she did make did not make huge impacts it seems, and some of them harmed men in service. But truthfully the large majority of Americans who were so desperate for change, felt as though if she would have created that it would have already happened in some fashion. But truly it would have been more of same old same ol.

    I think the problem that arises with immigrants is that its completely imperative we care for any human being. However, we also must care for our country and citizens and many immigrants were HURTING our citizens and coming in illegal and not being prosecuted for crimes because of that. Many people who voted for trump weren’t voting AGAINST immigrants, but voting FOR our citizens and their safety. Could Trump have commented better?? YES!! But I think a lot of people living IN this country have been scared for their lives because of the crime and because of people who were here not following the rules at the expense of those of us who are. We must care for immigrants, but not at the expense of our own people.

    I also wanted to comment on him inciting violence. Its ironic to me that liberals are making a big deal about that, when Hillary Clinton PAID people to incite violence at his rallies. I just can’t understand why one side is not talking about how there is proof she has PAID people to incite violence. Its bewildering to me how you can talk about the words of one and then not speak about how she paid hundreds of people to INCITE violence. I just cannot comprehend. Neither is right. But its also wrong to turn a blind eye to one side.

    Another thing I cannot understand is that Hillary Clinton ridiculed, shame, and belittle the women that her husband sexually offended. She blamed them. She destroyed their lives in so many ways. And it seems hypocritical an biased to speak about Donald’s words about women without recognizing her words about women as well. I think many who voted for Trump feel this way, honestly. If we were just voting based on that then both candidates would be guilty. So it had to come to bigger things… and policies were much bigger in many ways.

    I think those who voted for Trump (or at least myself) were concerned about the BILLIONS of dollars that Americans paid in taxes that went into funding her family members houses…. paying other countries… funding her own foundation…. some that got “lost” is a huge concern. When you’re working hard for your money and you realize your money went to fund Hillary Clinton’s brother’s house.. .its not how you really want our entire country’s money to be spent. And it worries you. If she did that with the money she was in charge of then, what would she do with our country’s money? It was a HUGE concern!

    As far as planned parenthood and ABORTION. I think you’re RIGHT. Its SO MUCH more about education and about resources than it is about pro life or pro choice. However, all of the MILLIONS of dollars that America is paying for planned parenthood hasn’t seemed to do as much good as one would like to see. My friends have tried to get help from Planned Parenthood and they had to pay more than they paid out of pocket at the drug store for things. I’m not saying this case for everyone, and I would love to hear how it has benefited people! But I think that we need a really good way of helping women get good access to birth control and so far I haven’t seen that Planned Parenthood has accomplished that. I think many have had a similar experience and maybe thats why you see so many against it as you do. Just trying to give understanding.

    As MANY conservatives have said… it would be AMAZING to see a woman as President!!!! Donald Trump’s campaign manager was the first female campaign manager. I have NO concerns that a woman couldn’t run this country WELL. Its that she wasn’t the woman we felt had integrity enough to do so. I don’t think just ANY woman is qualified and that we should just vote solely based on gender. Nor do i think we should not vote solely based on gender. And truthfully I don’t feel as though most have.

    But I just wanted to chime in and say that yes i voted for trump and it wasn’t because there was no better option. It was because we wanted to and felt confident about our decision. Does that mean we are not empathetic with those who are very fearful and very upset? Absolutely not. I have not even told any of my friends that we are happy with the outcome because of that. But I did want to share form someone who is proud of her vote, since you asked for understanding, and not just from someone who didn’t have any options.

    I think we can all agree that we all wanted change!

    And I think this is a HUGE wake up call either way that WE MUST BE THE CHANGE WE WISH TO SEE. We cannot rely on the government to make the change. We need to get to work, not be lazy, and make changes in this world.

    For that I am grateful for this election and I pray that each of us can do our part to love others and be a change in this country!

    Thank you for allowing me to share!

    1. OH and i think also our culture teaches us to make everything seem as if its better than it is, so sometimes we are more aware of people coming into this country’s problems, and not people already in our country. Maybe because we’re too prideful to really say what we are going through. But the truth is a lot of people in our country are struggling. And I Just feel like we need to help each other before we can accept tons of new people in illegally because we cannot even care well for those we have. Once we can care good for those we have, then we will be much more able to care for those who come!! But I feel as though we are so quick to help some people who are crying out for it, but many people in our community aren’t crying out for it out of embarrassment and feeling like they needed to have the American dream already and feeling less then. And those people tend to get overlooked it seems in favor of others.

  210. The American government is inefficient. These days we call it gridlock. But that is what the founders were striving for. A system that would slow down, even stop, when politics became too partisan, absurd and self-serving. The constitution is a circuit breaker that prevents real damage.

    If you are among those who believe this was the election no one saw coming, you’re mistaken. The founders could not have imagined the horizons of our modern world, but the range of human nature is ever the same. From the second floor windows of a building in Philadelphia, they could see a distance of 229 years.

    Are you going to get what you want from the next government? No telling.

    Are we going to be OK? No question. Scott Pelley, CBS News

    My personal view is that we have been ignoring our own home and trying to save the world. Don’t we all know someone who does this on a personal level? I think we can help more people if we first do some self care. I think America as a family is falling apart. As our “family” heals and we look to help our citizens it gives us the energy and finances to help others too.

  211. I voted for Hillary on Tuesday after volunteering for her, going to multiple rallies, and giving her all the support I had.

    I believe everyone in this country should be an equal, no matter what their gender, race, sexual orientation, or religion. And I don’t think it’s a lot to ask that the person in charge of our country believes in these things. I voted for her because I don’t have health insurance and rely on planned parenthood for my lady needs. I don’t mind having to go around the insulting anti abortion protest every time I go to the doctor and pick up pills, because I know I’m supporting a business that gives all women the chance to do something we should all be able to – control their bodies!

    I voted for Hillary because I believe that to end gun violence we need, need, neeeeeed comprehensive background checks. I know if someone wants a gun they can still “find a way” and I respect that argument, but so much gun violence in this country is done legally. And it needs to stop.

    I also voted for her because I believe in the American people and believe that no one should be belittled. Our president should not get in a Twitter war with Americans for disagreeing with them. Our president shouldn’t think that they have the power to grab any person they find attractive.

    I’m still incredibly distraught over this election and who we will soon have in office. I find it to be an embarrassment to our country. Since election night my liberal city (Philadelphia!) has seen an increase in serious violence. Not from protestors. From people chasing down POC, gays, randomly fighting in the street, covering walls in swastikas, and even last night my boyfriend had to stand up for a woman he didn’t know when he overheard a stranger tell her that he wanted to “grab her by the pussy”.

    We have a lot of work to do.

  212. Emily,
    Heartbroken by this weeks news, I feel a little better reading your blog. I too really wanted answers, but unfortunately the few comments I read were not comforting in the least. I am, however, comforted with your well written words and hope that your audience can read it and realize why half the country is hopeless. THANK YOU for explaining that you, like many white Americans, are blessed with a privilege that so many of us do not have. It seems so easy for people to claim that racism and prejudice don’t exist, just because they don’t have to face it. I truly feel people are so misled and uneducated. One thing that I wanted to write about is the topic of illegal immigration. My husband was an illegal immigrant from Mexico who came to America to flee poverty, disease, and violence. My husband works in the restaurant industry as do many Mexican immigrants. In nearly every position he has ever held, he has been promoted and offered raises before his American white counterparts. That’s right, none of his employers are saving money by paying him below market wages. They are paying him more because he is an extremely hard worker who they don’t want to lose. It is so easy for unemployed and/or underemployed Americans to blame others instead of working harder. I suspect this is true for most industries in the country, illegal immigrants are being given jobs because of their admirable work ethic – not because they cost less. This is simply not the story that is ever told in American news – this among other reasons is why I could never support Trump during his campaign.

    1. just out of curiosity why did your husband not go through the proper protocol to become a legal immigrant?

      1. maybe because he was fleeing, which implies some needed haste.

      2. It is virtually impossible to immigrate from Mexico to the US if you don’t already have family in the US or a specialized college degree. You can enter an immigration lottery – if you make it through this way it is like getting “the golden ticket”. They only allow 50,000 immigrants annually from the entire world in this way. Even if all 50,000 of those spots went to Mexico, that would give someone 0.03% chance of winning that lottery. If you had a 99.97% chance of losing, would you still do things the “proper” way?

  213. I voted for change as well, but not by voting for Trump. I voted for one of the candidates that the mainstream media chose not to discuss. I feel that REAL change is not going to happen in this country until we abolish the power of the two parties that have dominated all these years. There were six other candidates in the race that got very little air time, if any. This has to change. This crap that they have to have 15% of votes in the polls to be included in the debates is bunk. This is not a democracy when we are not allowed to hear the positions or solutions of anyone outside the two parties without going to extremes to find it. I was told over and over that if I didn’t vote for Hillary or Trump, I was handing victory to the other. We need to stand together to create change and stop letting the powerful make us afraid to act. How many possibly great leaders were shunted aside and not given a chance?? This has to change.

  214. Emily, THANK YOU for this well articulated point of view. I’ve been struggling to define my own argument and express my own dissatisfaction with the election result, but you have given a clear voice to those muddled thoughts. I understand the country’s frustration with our lack of economic progress following the recession, the difficulty in welcoming change into our communities and maintaining our security.

    But for me, when people argue that they themselves aren’t racist/misogynistic/homophobic (etc, so many forms of hate Trump spouts) and they only voted for Trump because of their belief he will change the economy, or because he’s a Washington-outsider, that says to me they were willing to wager someone else’s human and civil rights for that change. That the economy is a greater priority than someone else’s civil liberties. To me, that is degrading the very foundation of our Democracy and Bill of Rights. I don’t think that Trump supporters are bad people, but I believe their choice was poorly prioritized.

  215. I voted for Hillary for all of the reasons you’ve mentioned. I couldn’t have been more eloquent.

    The biggest reason for my liberal views is that I passionately believe, I did not get to where I am on my own. Being born into my family, taught essential tools of self sufficiency and pride of labor, these are unfortunately birth rights to many people. I feel privileged to have them and for the opportunities I was given. Quite frankly, I think anyone who thinks they get some where on their own is a bit full of themselves.

    On the “outsider” note, I wouldn’t hire a rookie, zero experience contractor to do my bathroom. I cannot imagine hiring a rookie for the hardest job in the world.

    Lastly, I saw something worth doing today, “if you voted for Hillary, write her a thank you note”. We’re quick to voice our disappointment, but not as good about showing appreciation.

    As a minority, women immigrant and a lover of people, I’ve felt the level of despair that I hadn’t felt for a long time following the election. But at this point, i’ve decided this is not the time for me to quit being kind, being proactive, hoping and doing everything I can toward what I think to be right. So while I still fear for what’s to come in the next four years, I’m watching, waiting and thinking about the different initiatives to get involved in. I know I can’t quit. I encourage my liberal friends not to quit.

  216. I really appreciate what you are trying to do here Emily, but enough with the ‘liberal’ vs ‘conservative’, ‘republican’ vs ‘democrat’. This system is broken, and you are still feeding into it. How about we use our brains and vote for the policies that make the most sense NOW? Not what “our party is doing.” Are we all in high school trying to fit into a cool group? This is why this election was a failure and there is such dissatisfaction on both sides – many republicans refused to vote because they weren’t happy with their lunatic candidate. Many democrats refused to vote because they were uninspired when Bernie didn’t make it. That means people in a democratic system chose not to vote, chose not to exercise their voice that they are very lucky to have, because of a false allegiance to a group. The only people who did come out and vote in record numbers were disenfranchised, uneducated and desperate rural people who were just happy to hear a new voice – even if it was an insane one – because at least it mean the POSSIBILITY of changing a system that continuously fails them.
    If people stopped IDENTIFYING as Democrat or Republican (two stagnant unchanging/non-evolving sets of values), they could freely choose the best candidate. Not only would that have stopped Trump – A TRULY INDECENT HUMAN BEING – from being elected, but that would have provided the opportunity for candidates with new, different, and solution-oriented views to come forward.
    America is falling behind, and it needs to figure its shit out and stop desperately hanging on to its outdated beliefs, values and failing system.
    To be clear, my views could definitely be ‘defined’ as leftist, but that is where they end up after careful deliberation about current issues, research on actual stats about gun laws, abortion laws, education failure, and rural/urban demographics. I don’t call myself a democrat or a liberal because I am not loyal to a stagnant set of values in an ever-changing world. I find your synopsis here well-intentioned but reductive and short-sighted.

  217. I love you Emily! I love this post and your open mind. We could ALL use to be more open minded on both sides.

  218. I voted against Trump because I believe in access to health care, public education, and rights for those who are not able to advocate for themselves.

    I am the granddaughter of undocumented immigrants who received amnesty from Reagan in the 80s and Eastern European Jewish great-grandparents who came to American to escape anti-Semitism,

    My family has fought – and continues to face – racism, sexism, xenophobia, and anti-Semitism. This is not new. We are just more aware of this because of social media.

    We all have a power to do something today, at the midterm elections, and well before 2020.

    What I did today:
    Called and emailed (you need to do both) my Mayor, daughter’s principal, both senators, my assembly and US congressional representative.

    I increased my monthly donation to Planned Parenthood and our local food pantry. I started a monthly donation to the ACLU.

    I ask that each of you do one thing today to make a difference. And still harness this energy in a few months, years, and beyond.

  219. I know you put so much thought into all that was written here, and while I do agree with SO much of this, I still have to state that sometimes no matter the amount of good education, prepared/skilled parents, and a positive community support, someone can still end up in poverty, among drugs and land into crime. I should know because that is what my brother has chosen for his own life. And my good mother continues to love him and try to support him no matter his choices.

    Again, there is so much I agree, but there is such a thing as free agency. Just had to throw that point out there because although I have so much empathy when I see someone homeless (and I know not all of them came from what my brother did), we just have to be aware.

    Also, #imwithher

    Rock on! I always love your site and feel so inspired!

  220. Hi Emily – I voted for Hilary because she is smart, compassionate, and experienced. I trusted her to lead our country in a way that would strive for the best for all of us. While I appreciate you reaching out to those who voted for him, I am not at a place where I can productively engage right now. I’m grieving and scared. I also deeply resent all of the “stay positive” messages as my negativity towards Trump is based on things I know he said and did. My 11 year old daughter said something wise: “Mom, we don’t need to stay positive, we need to stay strong!”

  221. As a 22-year-old college student, I supported Hillary wholeheartedly and was DEVASTATED with the election results. Being from North Carolina, I felt so lucky to see Hillary, Michelle, AND Barack all campaign for her in my state (which absolutely disappointed me in going red) and was so excited to be part of something so historic.

    I have had such a hard time processing my thoughts and emotions in the last week and I thank you for helping me find the right words. I also applaud you for discussing this topic on your blog. I know many bloggers weren’t sure how to approach politics but your honesty and openness are so appreciated. xo

  222. I have read all the comments from both of your political post. It is wonderful to see smart woman in such open dialogue. While we have not had a woman president yet, let’s remember all the woman in politics who have made this even an option. I have a daughter and I would love for her to see a woman as POTUS, but you better bet I am telling her about all the women who have and are paving the way. Starting with the Supreme Court and even looking at our local government. I have high expectations for the Lady who is our first female President and where ever you are just know that we are waiting on you and counting on you to make us all proud.

  223. Thank you for these posts! It is refreshing to read opinions without name calling and hatred. Most people are good and want what is best for our country, we just disagree on how to get there.

  224. Hi Emily,

    I really appreciate your comments here. I didn’t actually get to vote (tied up in the hospital with family out of state), but was planning to vote 3rd party. I actually still don’t know who I would have wanted to win the election and was so conflicted and still am. This post brings me hope. If we as Americans truly listen to people who think differently than us and try to understand, I think we can do some really amazing things. Kudos to you trying to understand those who have different political views than you. I live in a red state and there are some real issues that need to be addressed with rural America. Thanks again – you rock.

  225. I was heart broken by the results of the election. Broken. My spirit waned and I looked for answers.
    Here are some helpful re-focusing comments from the wise:
    After Donald Trump’s stunning upset, Lion’s Roar reached out to a number of Buddhist teachers for their responses.

    Pema Chödrön

    During difficult times like this, I’m feeling that the most important thing is our love for each other and remembering to express that and avoid the temptation to get caught in negative and aggressive thinking. Instead of polarizing, this is a chance to stay with the groundlessness. I’ve been meditating and getting in touch with a deep and profound sadness. It’s hard to stay with that much vulnerability but that’s what I’m doing. Groundlessness and tenderness and sadness have so much to teach us. I’m feeling that it’s a time to contact our hearts and to reach out and help in anyway we can.

    Norman Fischer, Everyday Zen Foundation

    I usually don’t completely believe what I think, so when Trump won the election I was, like everyone else, surprised, but not that surprised. Bodhisattvas are committed to their practice, which means to sit, to get up, and to sweep the garden — the whole world, close in and far away — every day, no matter what. They have always done this, they always will. Good times, bad times, they keep on going just the same. Bodhisattvas play the long game. They have confidence in the power of goodness over time. And they know that dark times bring out the heroic in us.

    For those older among us who hold liberal and progressive political views, lets not forget we survived Nixon, Reagan, and Bush. It wasn’t pleasant but we survived. We will survive Trump. This is not to say that the policies of those presidents weren’t bad, and that they did not make any lasting impact. They were and they did.Still, we survived. We will survive Trump. As of today, we don’t really know what will happen under Trump because nothing he has said so far means much. He seems not to have much commitment to his own words.

    “It’s OK to freak out, grieve, and vent for a while. Then we can get back to work, as always, for the good.

    We have been fortunate to have had eight years with a decent, intelligent, thoughtful and caring human being in the White House. This is more we would have expected. Lets not forget that the same people who elected Obama elected Trump.

    It’s OK to freak out, grieve, and vent for a while. Holds each others’ hands. Then we can get back to work, as always, for the good.

    Think of what the Dalai Lama has gone through in his lifetime. He maintains daily practice, he maintains kindness for everyone, though he has lost his country and his culture at the hands of a brutal regime. Yet he doesn’t hate the Chinese and finds redeeming features in them. He maintains his sense of humor. He has turned his tragedy into a teaching for the world.

    Lets do the same.

    Roshi Pat Enkyo O’Hara, Village Zendo

    We are all reeling from the election news. For most of us, it is unexpected and frightening. Naturally, we ask ourselves what teaching can support us and empower us at this time. I think of Avalokitesvara, the Bodhisattva of Compassion who “hears the sounds of the world.”

    “Perhaps we have not been listening to the cries of the world with ears of wisdom and determination.

    And I realize how vital it is for all of us to listen to all the sounds of this unhappy nation. What suffering has led to the anger and hatred that has arisen? And, why are so many of us surprised at this outpouring? Perhaps we have not been listening to the cries of the world with ears of wisdom and determination.

    This we must do, listen carefully, and while listening, we must move with determination to organize, to mobilize, and to find new ways to create change in civil rights, climate change, media ethics, and to inform and enlighten all the people, so that we can in fact relieve suffering and care for this planet, these peoples, all of us.

    Noah Levine, Against the Stream

    Here in the United States of Samsara ignorance is the status quo. The Buddha’s teachings guide us to go “against the stream” to develop wisdom and compassion through our own direct actions. As the path encourages, “Even amongst those who hate, we live with love in our hearts. Even amongst those who are blinded by greed and confusion, we practice generosity, kindness and clear seeing.”
    Meditate and Destroy!

    Ethan Nichtern, Shambhala Meditation Center of New York

    When I was a child in New York City, I used to imagine that I lived in an island off the coast of America which was neither part of the continent nor the country. In the middle of the night last night, that childhood fantasy came back to me, but it was only wishful thinking. In fact, the source of all this disruption hails from the same city, which is a great reminder that we are all connected. I am a citizen of the mainland United States and I remain a very proud and patriotic one.

    Right now my mindfulness practice is dedicated to my many friends who are expressing such unbearable hurt and fear at the hatred and abuse which this current version of America has directed at them. My many friends who are women, People of Color, members of the LGBT community, immigrants, and non-Christians are all rightfully expressing their fear and traumas right now, and I want to especially be there for them.

    Soon, perhaps, I will try to make contact with those I know who voted for this outcome and do my best to listen to their fears and desires as well. I have no idea how that will go but I will do my best.

    “It is OK to grieve the fact that we have taken a massive emotional and spiritual step backwards.

    I also feel at least some optimism that this outcome sharpens and clarifies where humanity stands in the 21st-century. All of us must come together with empathy and connection if we are going to survive this era.

    Tomorrow I will try to follow the lead of those whose vision I trust to see how I can help move our world forward with compassion. But today, it is OK to grieve the fact that we have taken a massive emotional and spiritual step backwards. Please remember, the point of meditation is not to suppress your feelings. It is to make friends with yourself. On days like this, meditation is simply a way to remember a glimmer of your own basic goodness. Please remember it is OK to feel exactly what you feel.

    In loving kindness and solidarity with the human race, Ethan

    Zenju Earthlyn Manuel, Still Breathing Zen Meditation Center

    Today, after the 2016 elections in the U.S., we are living out the example of what happens when what goes unacknowledged surfaces and it feels like a new reality but you know in your heart it is not. To suffer based on expectations is to live haunted and hunted. But we are fortunate. There could be no other answer to our meditation and prayers in dissolving hatred than to be placed front and center with it and be exposed. When a shift in a system has occurred, especially one that causes fear and discomfort, it allows for something strikingly different to appear, furthering our evolution as people. We can only know where we are going when we get there.

    “Now is the time we have been practicing for.

    Many of us have been practicing Buddha’s teachings or walking a spiritual journey forever and preparing for every moment of our existence. We are ready and have been waiting for this time. Our rage, pain, and anger are to be exposed if only for us to transform and mature with it. In Buddhist practice we say congratulations because now is the time we have been practicing for. No more just practicing the dance. We must now dance. And this is not a dress rehearsal.

    Roshi Joan Halifax, Abbot, Upaya Zen Center

    Standing at the edge of this election, it’s clear we have our work cut out for us. It is the work of love and wisdom in the face of the terrible suffering of war, environmental issues, racism, gender violence, and economic injustice. We have to work together to shift the tide toward what will benefit our children, the natural world, the future. Part of this means that we have to change the mind, move out of harsh negativity, eroding futility and fear, and build toward the good and the wise. We also have to work to shift the mood of the country and of the world through compassionate education, deep practice, and service to others.

    “Let’s reach through differences, listen deeply, and “give no fear.”

    So please, stop and look deeply, and let’s work together in not building a contentious future, but a generative one. And let’s not pretend we know, but be open and learn; let’s bear witness to what is happening in our country, in our world, and take wise, compassionate, and courageous responsibility. Let’s reach through differences, listen deeply, and “give no fear.”

    Here are the four great vows of the Bodhisattvas in community:

    Creations are numberless, we vow to free them.

    Delusions are inexhaustible, we vow to transform them.

    Reality is Boundless, we vow to perceive it.

    The awakened way is unsurpassable, we vow to embody it.

    …. do not squander life!

  226. This was perhaps the most articulate post on the situation. Thank you. I’ve been grieving the loss fearful for my children’s childhood, but I am going forth with hope and will always fight for love. Love for freedom, community, hope, choice…love for all.

  227. This is great. Thanks for writing this.

  228. Hi Emily,

    I’m a fairly new reader of your blog (so much eye candy!) and really enjoy the reprieve it brings.

    I haven’t read every single comment, but it seems like here as in other places online right now, people are getting quite vocal about their personal experiences with abortion. As you point out, no one wants an abortion. And many women (and men involved) struggle for a very long time afterwards. It seems that this discussion would be lacking if no one added that there are resources and organizations out there to help women heal after the often traumatic experience of abortion (no matter how early it might have been, even from emergency contraception that can cause it). Many women find healing in talking with others or going on retreat. There is help available for those who seek it. http://www.silentnomoreawareness.org/search/index.aspx.

  229. You are entitled to your own opinion, but I would disagree with your stance on abortion when you said, “Nobody, NOBODY wants an abortion.” There are in fact, thousands upon thousands of women who see NO problem with this choice.
    Also, have you ever heard of adoption?!?!?!? Saying “we would see hundreds of thousands of unwanted pregnancies from people who aren’t prepared to parent, which begins terrible cycles of general badness.” DON’T JUSTIFY MURDER AS BEING ACCEPTABLE!

  230. Tell me Emily, why is it that not once do you mention the fact that Hillary blatantly broke the law more than one time? Why is it that you don’t mention the conniving part of her that squeezed Bernie Sanders out? Although I am not a Trump supporter, it absolutely baffles me how anyone can accept AND ignore, the crimes Hillary committed and still think she is suited to be president. How in the world would people have thought that she would ever tell the truth about ANYTHING if she is willing to lie and break the law at one of the highest levels? What is it that makes up for that in your opinion? I can’t think of anything in the world that would justify that, or allow for someone to accept that but still support them as a presidential candidate. Are you able to shed some light on this question for me? As for her experience in politics, what is it that she has even done in government besides kill a few people in Benghazi and then cover it up? I don’t believe she sponsored a single bill as a NY senator. All she’s “done” in her political career, is find the easiest way to make money, and build the necessary exposure and momentum to run for president, leaving a huge wake of destruction behind her. What good has she done? Don’t you think she had half the people who “mattered” in her pocket? Do you honestly believe she cares about anything but herself? Personally I can’t look at her without seeing pure evil.

    1. Oooh let me!

      Question: I can’t think of anything in the world that would justify that, or allow for someone to accept that but still support them as a presidential candidate. Are you able to shed some light on this question for me?

      Answer: She was running again DONALD TRUMP.

      As for your other questions about what good she has done, that’s really not that hard to figure out if you actually wanted to.

      1. AgainST Donald Trump, naturally.

  231. I’ve spent way too much time reading the comments here, and usually don’t comment, but had to add my thoughts. I apologize in advance if this is longwinded!
    I didn’t vote for either candidate. I voted third party for president. I feel like an outsider looking in on this debate, because I’ve heard disgust from both sides on how anyone could vote for the other’s candidate, as well as disgust for voting for third party because I was obviously giving my vote to whichever candidate would eventually win. I’ve been told I wasted my vote because my candidate didn’t have a chance. But I’m pretty fiercely protective of my vote, and will vote my conscience, even if it means standing alone. My down ballot was purple, with a healthy mix of both blue and red because I vote on the person, not the party. This election, my conscience was screaming that Trump was a sexist, narcissistic pig who was capitalizing on the fears and frustrations of a segment of Americans who were desperate for change. I didn’t vote for HRC because too many of her views don’t align with mine, and I am seriously challenged by her treatment of her email server, having been in Washington and politics for so long she should know better (and someone who knows better and still does what they want is dangerous in positions of power when so many lives depend on their judgement).
    I think knowing the system is very important to getting things done, so seasoned politicians aren’t always bad. I also think fresh ideas and perspectives are a good thing, and believe a good shake up can be just the shot of adrenaline and change of direction needed at times. I say this having a spouse who is a politician, who was elected as an unknown against a seasoned opponent. My husband has been very popular in our area, as he has brought in a vision, and a work ethic that has changed the momentum for our city. But he has done so by learning how to navigate the system, utilizing those who have experience to get things done, reaching across aisles to create friendships and working relationships where there were previously walls, as well as looking outside the box for solutions by working with government and private partnerships. He won by what may be considered a landslide, but takes very seriously the fact that he does not just represent those who voted for him, but the entire population he works for. He chooses to listen to the other side, and understand their point of view, and then he takes the time to educate them when necessary on the ins and outs of decision making (many people don’t have a full understanding of how our government works on a local vs federal level- if at all) and explain to them in a non condescending manner, either the other side of the situation, or the various issues that come into play on any decision. I can’t count how many times he has gone into a conversation with a constituent, opponent, or even just friend who has a different view and often who is so angry with him, and then left the conversation with a sincere thank you for listening to them, and a dinner invitation etc.
    His position is non partisan, and we discuss on a regular basis how difficult it will be when we choose to run for a partisan position. Partisan politics right now is so toxic- I know I don’t really have to point that out to anyone! The problem with our system right now is that it is very hard for any candidate who is a moderate to win in either party. The division of politics is pushing both parties to the extreme borders, when the vast majority of Americans have more than they realize in common. People like my husband, who are what I passionately believe this country needs, have a harder time rising through the divisive politics. We ask for unity, and we ask for our politicians to work together, yet we ostracize anyone who actually compromises and works to create policies that bring both sides to the table. I’ve met politicians on both sides of the aisles, and I’ve found that the vast majority are really good people trying to serve the best they know how.
    I see these problems even in this conversation. There is a tone of politely listening to the other side, but not actually hearing them, other than pulling out a couple of points that we can turn around and use to point out their hypocrisy and folly. We have to find a way to actually hear one another. I don’t think that can really happen over the internet, unfortunately. We cannot get to know one another enough to really see each other. You cannot see the whole of my human experience, nor I yours. I think we can get out from behind our computers more, and out of our comfort zones, and have conversations with each other in real life. We can serve each other in really meaningful ways. We can stop assessing who is the most deserving of our help and simply help. We can really try to see each other. We can stop asking where someone got that cute outfit, and start asking how they got through a really difficult experience. Maybe we can stop asking others to justify why their values are what they are, or why they voted a certain way, and simply thank them for having values and for voting.
    My 10 year old son had questions about this election, and we’ve been very careful to tell him that Americans on both sides voted for what they thought was best for our country. We have corrected him when he has made statements that one side or the other is wrong, and let him know that both sides feel strongly about their positions and feel they are right. We are trying to teach him about the political process, and show him how to be involved. I’m hoping we are raising children who can see everyone. We’re trying to help them recognize that we have certain values and standards, but that just because others don’t share those values, they aren’t horrible people. We are trying to teach them that calling other people out and shaming them for behavior or words we don’t agree with isn’t helpful, but refusing to engage in that behavior in a kind and firm way, and set an example in how we behave can be.
    Thanks for having this conversation Emily, and thanks for inviting all of us to join in with our thoughts. My thoughts feel a bit disjointed, but it is 3am, so take that for what it is!

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