This was supposed to be your standard ‘I’m pregnant and here is what I’m putting on my body’ post but I just left the doctor’s office who confirmed that this little girl is still breach (which I didn’t really announce because I figured she’d turn on her own and I wasn’t worried about it). Many of you might know that if she remains breach that I’ll have to have a C-section and the truth is I’m strangely fine with it.
Do I WANT surgery? Obviously not, but I don’t really want a super painful vaginal birth either. Both have their pros and cons. The point is that I don’t really care how I get this little one as long as she is healthy. I used to hear women say that and not really believe them because it’s just such a generic thing to say. It’s like when people get back from traveling in France and you ask how it is and they say, ‘Oh, Europe is just so amazing. You have to go!!’ and then you think, can you just say something, ANYTHING original, please? But its 100% true. Drugs, no drugs, natural, adoption, water, C-section, surrogate, moon birth, etc, the fact that women care about it so much has always kinda baffled me when most of the time you can’t control it and then its over and its no longer important (not surrogate or adoption I realize that is a whole other special experience). Maybe its a product of my mom having 6 kids, all different births (well, I think all drug-free because it was 25 years ago) and ultimately the only thing that matters is that you leave the hospital with a healthy little life.
But it still bears talking about. So, I will.
The plan is next week (at 37 1/2 week) my doctor is going to try to turn her. He says that it’s either really easy to do or it won’t happen at all. He says it’s about a 30% chance of success. If she doesn’t turn next week then we’ll schedule a C-section for the following week. I am what they call a ‘fast birther’ because Charlie came in just a few hours (don’t hate me). But that could be really dangerous with a breach baby because if I go into labor really fast I guess the umbilical chord can prolapse through my cervix then all sorts of actually very risky things can happen – especially if I can’t make it to the hospital in time. That’s not happening. I’m scheduling a c-section asap.
I almost think that something is wrong with me because I’m not bummed – It’s not like I’m psyched for a C-section but it means the end is so near and I can kinda plan for it. If she doesn’t turn the C-section is scheduled for October 15th. THE FIFTEENTH. I could have this baby in 2 weeks!!! My doctor was very impressed with us because Brian and I both were just even – keeled. He said, ‘Wow, you two have an extremely healthy attitude about it’ and he followed it up with ‘Its a celebration, it’s about the health of the baby, so kudos for not making it about you’. I hope that didn’t come off self-righteous. I think I’m just proud of us for rolling with the punches.
My recovery with Charlie was not bad at all. And while I know that this will be more intense we also have more help. We’ll have our nanny to help out and grandparents around so while I, of course would love to get my ripped 6 pack of abs back asap and not go through a surgery, I’m not going to be home alone trying to tend to a toddler and a newborn alone. I realize how lucky I am, I promise. I’m also just trying to list the positives to the situation – or the lack of negatives, I should say.
MAN. 37 weeks ago it was all so daunting. The length of time it takes to properly grow this alien is so long that to have it now within 2 weeks is spiking my serotonin in the best way. Bottle up this drug and sell it because I would pay 100$ for a pill that would make me this excited. I think there is something of a relief about not having to go through the unimaginable pain of childbirth. It was certainly a beautiful experience and I wouldn’t change one second of it, but it hurt like hell … if hell were like 10, 000 serrated knives being stuck in all your organs at the same time. For this birth I was going to play it by ear again – if I had time to get an epidural light I would, but if I didn’t have time I obviously wouldn’t. I didn’t have time last time (I’m lucky, I realize) and while its impossible to conjure up the reality of that pain, I remember it well enough. And I wasn’t exactly looking forward to it.
I think that one of the main reasons that I’m not bummed out is because I did have that birth. I had that birthing experience and now I get to have this experience. I feel like it’s another mini adventure that I didn’t expect I would take but I’m down for it. That is to say that if you are in my position and you don’t have the same attitude because its your first baby and you really wanted a natural birth, then don’t feel bad. I realize that this kind of optimism probably comes with a second birth.
But if you think I’m going to google C-section for any reason you are DEAD WRONG. It’s not that I don’t want information, I just don’t trust the internet to give me anything that will make me feel better than this, and instead I trust people I know who have had one – my friends, family and you guys who must be relatively normal to read this blog. I’d love to know all of your experiences and any tips you have for both preparation and recovery. But if you have a harrowing experience or your sister died or the baby lost a limb, keep that shit to yourself.
Has anyone successfully flipped their baby in the 37th week? I think I’m going to give acupuncture a shot because, well, why not? But I’m curious if there are other tricks that won’t make me go mad but could possibly help. A friend of mine told me to ask for the minimal amount of anesthesia and to make sure that I still have a birth plan, which hadn’t really occurred to me. Another friend told me to make sure that I control the music or else they could be playing alt-rock or something not so soothing for my little one. Any experiences/stories and tips that are helpful would be good.
With that – get the look!!! Sorry, we had already prepped out this post as a normal fashion post and it seemed silly to delete this, although it feels even sillier to include this, now. It’s like – I’m getting a C-section in two weeks, look out that bracelet on sale!
But seriously those shoes are EXTREMELY comfortable. The dress is hanging on for dear life (it’s not maternity but works and is flattering).
Photos by Jess Isaac for EHD.