Hey y’all and welcome to another Sunday’s link up. It’s officially been 1 year of lockdown (wow) and we hope you’ve all been dealing with this all the best that you can. If you missed it, we reflected on the last year (with some fun before and afters pre and post-pandemic) in this blog post last week so feel free to read it and hopefully it’s relatable. We also want to express our complete support and solidarity with the AAPI community. We have to be vigilant and purposeful with our words and actions to have any hope in eradicating this horrendous and unforgivable hatred. Anti-racism is a verb.
From Emily: In light of the past week’s hate crime against Asian American women, I found this article to be informative and was very grateful to the writer for putting it out there to the masses. There is a go-fund-me for one of the victim’s families (single mom of two boys) to help care for the boys as their hard-working mom is now gone and their family is in South Korea. We’ve got to be better. If anyone knows of other go-fund-me pages for the other victims please share in the comments.
I’m sorry but is that a marble fluted kitchen island??? Why yes it is and the brilliant Arent & Pyke design firm is responsible for it. Go take a peek at the rest of the photos and indulge in the most calming but still colorful color palettes out there.
From Ryann: I think I might need to start a series called “Tik Tok made me buy it” because the Gen Zers on that app have introduced me to some of my favorite products. I recently bought these leggings that are a perfect dupe for Lulu Lemon leggings thanks to a teenage influencer and they are SO soft and so comfortable. I am definitely someone who needs cute work out clothes just to motivate me to work out, and these are IT, folks.
Another house tour from My Domaine! If there’s one thing to take away from this home is that STYLING CAN BE EVERYTHING. Homeowner, Bryan Smith (a fashion stylist), enlisted the help of Kerry Vasquez and turned this old Hollywood, Spanish-style home into a light, bright, and very well-styled space. It’s more on the minimalist side, so if that’s you’re thing go check it out. Well even if it’s not your thing it’s still pretty so you should also check it out 🙂
From Jess: Since the only thing I feel like I’ve truly successfully conquered this year was my skincare routine (sad?), I really want to protect this face I’ve got and not undone all the work I’ve put in. And while I love my Yankees and Cubs baseball caps, I want some more “fashionable” hat options. I really love the look of this one! Plus it’s packable which sounds like it’s pretty durable. Do any of you have it? Thoughts? Feelings?
From Caitlin: OH. MY. GOSH. I have discovered the best grocery store cheese and I need everyone to try it!! It’s the Sartori Sarvecchio Parmesan Wedge, it is less than $7 at Target (it’s like $10 at my local grocery store), and IT IS INCREDIBLE. The label was like, “this is fruity and nutty and caramel-y AND it’s the “best cheese” award winner” (paraphrasing, but that’s the general sentiment) and my reaction was like, “yeah, I’m sure the only Parmesan wedge I can afford is great ::rolling eyes::,” and I WAS WRONG. I hit the jackpot! I bought it to grate but I have been eating it straight off the block like a heathen because it is so, so, so delicious. If you spot this little guy in the cheese case on your next grocery store run (it’s sold nationwide), GET IT. To that end, does anyone else have any favorite affordable grocery store cheeses? I will also scream about Trader Joe’s Honey Goat Cheese, if you want.
Also From Caitlin: Ah, yes, just an everyday, run-of-the-mill, totally normal story about a guy who bought a bowl for $35 from a Connecticut yard sale before learning that it’s a 15th-century Ming dynasty artifact worth…uh, A LOT MORE than $35. Mind. blown.
Also Also From Caitlin: I’m so sorry to have three links this week but I CANNOT WAIT for my next cleaning-centric post to spread the word about this scrub sponge/brush!!! I bought 3 of these on Monday – one for my kitchen counters, one for my bathroom counters, and one for my shower (because I am a little particular about what gets used where) – and oh my gosh, it is now my all-time favorite sponge. If you have old tile that’s looking a little worse for the wear, one of these bad boys and a little bit of Comet cleaner will CHANGE YOUR LIFE. I had 4 months of caked-on dust/grime (live next to a main road and my 100-year-old windows don’t, uh, close) and this made getting it all up SO EASY AND PAINLESS. I love you, scrubber!!!
From Mallory: If you’re a boujee sunscreen person you may know of the brand Sun Bum…it’s the one with the wooden-looking packaging and it smells AMAZINGLY GOOD (like bananas!) I was recently at CVS grabbing some goods and I found out that SUN BUM HAS A SHAMPOO/CONDITIONER AND IT SMELLS EVEN BETTER THAN THE SUNSCREEN. You must try it. I can’t wait to have my hair smelling like bananas (in a good way) all summer long.
That’s all for this week. Thanks, everyone for being along for the ride with us. We love you and see you tomorrow. xx
Opening Image Credit: Design by Arent & Pyke | Photo by Prue Ruscoe
My understanding was that these establishments though mainly staffed by Asian Americans were targeted because they were the source of the killer’s extreme anxiety due to his frequenting them for his sex addition. The police officer (probably the Chief) who gave the initial press conference said this. Yesterday NPR was taking the AA discrimination line. So has the story changed since the initial press conference and I’ve missed it?
I think the question is not either/or, but both. This was both an anti-Asian crime and a crime motivated by sexualization of women. There is a long history of sexualization/objectification of Asian women in particular.
I did not watch the press conference with the Police Chief so I am not sure how they are framing it specifically.
“It is one of the perversities of powerlessness that those in power will pin their failings on you because you lack the power even to object.” Jiayang Fan, The New Yorker
https://www.newyorker.com/news/daily-comment/the-atlanta-shooting-and-the-dehumanizing-of-asian-women
You might find this article helpful in your understanding.
And I do encourage you to interrogate the roots of this reaction. AAPI people, who have been oppressed for hundreds of years by the institutions of this country, people who are suffering the terror and racial trauma of watching elders and other members of their community being attacked in the streets and living with fear that their loved ones are next, are sharing their pain and asking to be seen. Why are you choosing to divert the conversation rather than acknowledging that pain and approaching this story with open-mindedness and nuance? Where does it come from, this instinct to, as another article says, “flatten” this act of violence? I urge you to sit with that question.
Bo asked a question. That’s all.
It’s both. https://www.nbcnews.com/think/amp/ncna1261362 This oped does a good job of laying it out. It’s both. Just like I’d say 80% of the inappropriate things that are said to me involve Asian stereotypes or crap like “let me ride that Oriental train.”
The police chief who gave the press conference also basically said Long “had a bad day” which is so far beyond unacceptable. He’s also been removed from the case for promoting anti-China tshirts. I’ve had enough things yelled at me cover the past year to think that someone who’s a fan of the shirt he was posting, is not exactly an unbiased character.
Hhmmm, I’ve heard similar things via police here about a man that set his wife and 3 kids on fire in their car last year, saying “He was pushed too far!”
No.
Wrong.
Always wrong.
Updated information from police investigators is that authorities have not ruled out bias against AAs but neither have they endorsed it, but the misperception on the part of the public has put AAs in danger. Caution is everything here.
“Updated information from police investigators is that authorities have not ruled out bias against AAs…”
You taking the word of police as gospel is your first mistake.
I actually belief it was the county sheriff who said that at the press conference. It has also come out that he (the sheriff) has made numerous racist, anti-Asian FB posts in the last year.
The shooter specifically targeted Asian American women. That is a hate crime. Inappropriate speculation by law enforcement who have their own biases and failure to protect is also part of the racist system we all live in. The automatic association of Asian women with sexualization and sex work is intricately entwined with racism. This Washington Post article details the ages of the victims, including women who were 69, 51, 74, etc. He also killed a 33 year old woman who was at a spa for a couples massage – her husband was in another room. Men in power and the murderer can say whatever they like, but the facts are clear: he targeted and killed Asian women. He committed a hate crime. Full stop.
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2021/03/20/atlanta-spa-shooting-victims-highlight-struggles-asian-asian-american-immigrant-women-low-wage-jobs/%3foutputType=amp
If the murderer’s problem was solely sex addiction, why did he drive 30 miles and to three different shops that we’re staffed predominately by Asian women? He could have entered any shop with women, but he chose them specifically – three times. So, perhaps the problem really isn’t sex addiction (which would be a he problem not a they problem) and the problem is hatred toward women and specifically Asian women. Why are we just taking the word of the murderer? Authorities rarely just take the word of women.
Because those are the salons he had been too himself.
He also would have passed lots of Asian Americans on his way between the salons he went to, but there is no evidence he killed anyone there.
He only killed people at the salons whose services he had used.
Aimee, Why not look at the evidence we know of so far?
Bo, I think you are right. There is a lot of misinformation floating around.
For example the police officer who gave that press conference, paraphrased the shooter, I.e., the shooter had said he had had a bad day.
Then aaron rupar tweeted it as if the officer had said it as his own opinion.
As for the Asian American bias, he may very well be racist, of course, and given what happened, I get mourning this even more if you are Asian American.
But given where the shooter was, he would have passed very many Asian Americans on his way from the first parlor to the second, yet he only killed people in *salons he had frequented*.
Not sure why this is not a deeply misogynist crime…
The quote that he wanted “to kill Asians” has not been confirmed, even though lots of journalists have tried, so that seems to have been wrong.
GoFundMe created a landing page for those affected by the Atlanta shootings. There are funds for other AAPI victims of violence as well.
https://www.gofundme.com/c/act/stop-aapi-hate
Sartori cheese is sooooo good. Try the merlot bellavitano.
Yes, I looooove the merlot one!!
The leggings have this poorly written description:
“Product description
This is the Hawthorn Athletic essential legging, classic style is easy matching and won’t be out of fashion. Made of 70% Nylon,30% Spandex, buttery-soft but not loose your shape. Matte finish not silky shiny like. Thick enough to be squat proof. Snug fit sculpts your legs and butt in a great way. Premium fabric avoid color bleeding and pilling. Perfect for active wear like yoga, barre, running, gym and so on, it is also suitable as a working legging or daily legging. Women who are pregnant for the early months can take it as maternity legging.”
I would not order anything written in this manner; it appears this is not a completely legit company.
I put Sun Bum sunscreen all over my body while I was in labor with our first born. The smell is so dang relaxing.
Why is it considered boujee?
Anyone else have a very hard time shifting from horrendous murders to a marble kitchen island?
Can you also post outrage about the migrant crisis and all the children being kept in horrific conditions by this administration? These children are being housed in jail-like cells at 729% capacity, some not getting food each day. The Biden administration has forbidden any on scene filming or reporting – a complete blackout. This is outrageous and I can’t understand why the same people who were screaming about children in cages a few years ago are silent now!
Thanks, Eileen, for the reminder.
You’re right… 🙁
If no filming or reporting is allowed on scene, then how do you know what the conditions are?
Reporters / congressman have been there and stated what the conditions are. Also, we know there are 100s of thousands of people now walking freely into this country (no borders), common sense – where are they being housed in that small area. Why is the Biden administration the only one over the last 4 administrations to ban reporters? Think about that. By the way, this is all now a moot point as this a.m. pictures have been released that were taken from above since airspace can’t be banned. Look it up – Axios. Remind yourself, we are in a pandemic and now have a migrant crisis where many many people are being kept in horrendous conditions in small jail-like quarters. Children without families, children with. It is abhorrent and proves all the screaming years ago about kids in cages was just political theater.
Crickets from the Emily Henderson team, just as I suspected. I recall when Trump was President there were many political posts criticizing the administration and those who voted for them. Over and over we were told how the EH crew couldn’t understand how Trump supporters were silent regarding how migrants were treated, and how they yearned to understand this. Always acting as though they were on the moral high ground while Trump supporters were anything but (here is just one and not all the critical comments referring to children in cages (https://stylebyemilyhenderson.com/blog/immigrant-family-separation-my-thoughts). Now here we have the Biden administration who is treating these migrants MUCH WORSE, no food, no showers, cramped in small spaces in a PANDEMIC….and, nothing. Not a word. Just like we never hear anything about Antifa, which is all over Portland – the riots and killings that have occurred, the small businesses they destroy. Were any of you aware that Antifa recently attempted an insurrection on a Federal building in Portland just recently? Probably not. Will there be any comments or outrage regarding Denver and the mass murders there, or does the killer not fit your chosen political profile / racism theories? This is your page and… Read more »
Thanks, Eileen. I share most of your sociopolitical views, but I do think Emily means well. She strikes me as a classic “limousine liberal” who’s willing to have respectful dialogue with people on the opposite side, and even bake cookies for them.
Not so a few of her nouveau-Marxist followers and her ridiculous vocabulary- martinet commenters. (“Don’t call us ‘guys’! Don’t say ‘Master bath’, it brings back slavery days. Screeeeech!”)
Sun Bum also makes a great “purple” shampoo/conditioner. The Targets here carry lots of their products, making it super easy to get.
That Domaine house tour had links to some amazing home stores: https://sunbeamvintage.com/
https://www.brendanravenhill.com/
https://www.crofthouse.com/
https://lightandladder.com/products
https://sabin.la/
https://franceandson.com/