Emily Henderson

Valuing your Bad-Assness

Let’s Start With Getting A Raise …

Valuing_Your_Badassness_Emily Henderson_michelle-alves-for-vogue-italia

Valuing Your Badassness: how to make sure you are getting paid what you should (and what your male counterpart would get paid).

Today on the blog we are introducing you to two of our new potential contributors (and internet friends of mine) to the blog, Alie Ward and Georgia Hardstark (otherwise known as the duo: Alie and Georgia). They are self proclaimed “Party professionals and cocktail connoisseurs” and best friends who, after posting their viral video for a jocular cocktail called The McNuggetini, went on to create more palatable libations for both TV and the web. They followed with their debut TV series “Tripping Out with Alie & Georgia,” and can be seen weekly on Cooking Channel’s “Unique Sweets.” They also host the popular comedy podcast “Slumber Party with Alie & Georgia.” These girls are fun, know how to make a mean cocktail, and aren’t afraid to let their inner badass out. Take it away girls.

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In a perfect world, a boss underpaying you would be punishable by said boss’ worst selfies being published on the front page of HuffPo. In an even more perfect world, we would know our value and not be afraid to ask for what we deserve. Unfortunately, it’s not a perfect world and it can be downright frightening to assert yourself…plus your boss has probably deleted all those terrible selfies anyway.

We’ve all been in the position of knowing we deserve more (more money, more time off, more sticking to your job description, etc) but for those of us raised to not make a fuss and to go with the flow, asking for such things is akin to leaping into a shark infested swimming pool. It’s good to start off knowing that it’s very unlikely the person you’re asking is going to fire you or hate you or spread a nasty rumor that you loathe puppies.

When you remind yourself that the worst that can happen is to get a “no,” it becomes a lot less scary to assert yourself. And to turn that “no” into a positive, maybe it’ll be just the thing you need to go forth and find a job that values you and asking for what you deserve. In the meantime, here are our suggestions for how to kick ass, take names, and get paid like a dude.

Do Your Research

Just as you would never walk into a Tinder date without doing the minimum amount of gentle stalking (Facebooking, asking friends, checking the sex offenders registry), you shouldn’t walk into a meeting without arming yourself with facts. Craigslist is a good place to start. What are starting salaries for similar jobs? Is the job description way less insane than yours? What is the minimum amount of experience needed? Now take those facts and compare them to your job. Do you have a crazy amount of experience that would be hard to find in another candidate? Have you been kicking ass in this position for a long time? Has the market changed since you were hired and the value of your position gone up?

The more facts you have, the more confident you’ll be and the more authority you’ll command. When in doubt, ask a friend in a similar position what they would ask for. Preferably a dude, because history shows us they’ll ask for more (huge eyeroll).

State the (Embellished) Facts

If your livelihood is in a field that’s less defined, or you’re applying for a job that’s newly created, it can be hard to know what to ask for. As party planners and cocktail creators, we get asked to host events and make signature cocktails all the time. Sometimes those asking don’t understand the work that goes into such an undertaking (hint: a lot). Start by stating your services and what comes with them. Be specific and detailed, so they understand how much you’re contributing and that they won’t get your expertise with a more basic option. This is a good time to brag about yourself: social media following, jobs you’ve done in the past and how you helped make them successful, and people or companies you’ve worked for. If you’re too humble to brag about yourself, ask a good friend to describe what you do and how badass you are as if they were telling someone they wanted to set you up with. It’s easy to ignore all the little things you bring to the table when they’re just part of your awesomeness, but these are assets to those who get the benefits of said awesomeness.

Speak With Authority and Without Apology

When Maura Tierney won her much deserved Golden Globe for Best Actress, the first thing she said when accepting the award was to call herself “four eyes” and apologize for her glasses. She apologized because she needed help with one of the five senses, you guys! This chick just beat out four other very deserving women and her first thought was to apologize for herself! Being humble is one thing, but putting ourselves down and apologizing for ourselves tells others that you don’t understand your own value, so why should they? When you speak with authority and project an air of confidence, you seem like someone who doesn’t need to be babysat and coddled. And who doesn’t want a competent worker? If confidence isn’t your strong suit, try conjuring up the most badass woman you can imagine. How would Angelina Jolie or Morticia Adams present themselves? Would they slouch or be too afraid to make eye contact? Probably not. Take on their persona and run with it. Nobody but you knows you’re playing a role.

Know When To Work For Less Than You’re Worth (sometimes this does pay off)

The big, bad word in freelancing these days is “exposure.” Here’s a secret that could get get us shunned from the freelance community: we’ve worked for just “exposure” in the past and also accepted way less than what we would normally ask. We automatically think of fat cat Big Business stealing from the little guy when we hear stories of higher ups asking for work in exchange for getting your name out there, and yeah, there are many examples of that being laughably audacious and straight up ridiculous. But like everything in life, there are exceptions to that rule. Here are a few:

● You don’t have a ton of experience in the field and getting your name out there will help your resume and give you some traction in the community

● You’ll get other perks by working on this project, such as freebies, followers, networking opportunities, and ins at other (paying) gigs

● It’ll give you leverage when you kick major ass and they want you to work for them again in the future. True story: we once wrote one piece for a publication for “exposure.” The next time they asked we said we couldn’t do it for free, and they offered us an amount we would have NEVER had the guts to ask for

Know When To Walk Away When You Don’t Feel You’re Being Valued

All that said, sometimes you just gotta walk away. If you accept what’s being offered, will you feel taken advantage of? Resentful? Straight up pissed off? Is every email you send and meeting you attend and alarm clock that goes off in the morning going to make you feel bad about yourself and undervalued? In that case you have our permission to “NOPE” the hell outta that job. Sometimes walking away is the only way to convince yourself that you deserve better.

Now go forth and be the badass we know you are. And tell us your own stories of badassery in the comments! Everyone loves a success story.

Alie and Georgia, hosts of Tripping Out With Alie & Georgia and digital web series, Classy Ladies, kick Sunday’s ass with brunch, and the denial of Monday, with a spread designed for relaxation, conversation and drink creation. Using the focus flavor of Pinnacle Original - Alie and Georgia create a custom Bloody Mary right for the occasion.

*** Photo Sources: Desk Photo, Alie and Georgia: Cooking Channel

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  1. Great advice. I would add that, whenever possible, take opportunities to talk with other young female friends or relatives, encouraging them to negotiate their wage when taking a job offer or when their job duties change. So many women still don’t realize that they have the power to influence their wage, and don’t just need to wait for the employer to offer a raise.

    If you live in Oregon, for a great place to go for information on what others in similar jobs are making, check out QualityInfo.org.
    This is run by the Oregon Employment Department. You can search by a certain job and see current job postings, wage range data for current employees in the field, skills employers are looking for, and even where to get training for that specific field.

    Other states may have similar sites as well run by their Labor Market Information departments.

  2. Emily, I LOVE your blog and want to be your best friend if I ever move to LA. But…I’m missing the design focus! I tend to read Cup of Jo for my “general topics” blog and really love coming here to read design stuff. I end up skipping most of these posts because this just isn’t where I come for that kind of reading. There are so many other places for it – and there’s nowhere else to read Emily Henderson! Just my two cents…

    1. It’s so important to talk about the wage gap, and I’m all for encouraging women to speak up and ask for what they’re worth. However, this feels a bit off to me. Your post on resumes for creative careers made sense to me since you have unique insight into that area. If this was even “how to get paid what you deserve when you’re self-employed, a freelancer, a creative, etc.,” I don’t think it would have been so jarring.

      I’m all for contributors! I just think I would personally enjoy posts that are more in line with what you typically write about.

      1. What Taryn said. I would love to read for freelance jobs how to get paid, land the job, etc. Since I’m starting my own business. Hope you read this, Emily! :)

        1. Also, the “taking on Angelina Jolie persona” is very bad advice. Something I would hear my teenager girlfriend said when we check our hair in the bathrooms not from a design blog or someone officially giving advice to the public. Sorry, it just doesn’t work and some of the words used are kinda bitchy to me. Not my style.

    2. I’d like to second (or third or fourth) what Hilary and the other commenters have posted! I can totally appreciate that you’re expanding into other areas you’re interested in (like personal style/lifestyle/etc) but this just seemed a little weird? I would love to see what else these contributors have to offer–based on your description of them, they sound awesome! Just not sure where the general job advice comes from. I’d be interested in the freelance perspective like Taryn mentioned–that would be really interesting. This just seems kind of random. Thanks!

    3. Bandwagoning with all the others on this one today. Could have been great content, but I didn’t read it because I come to your site for design. Disappointed.

    4. I LOVE your blog Emily but I also have to 5th or 6th Hilary’s comment. I read your blog everyday and it’s the highlight of my workday when I get to take a break and read it, but today was so saddening because I couldn’t even make it past the second paragraph. Usually when you usually have contributors they have similar writing styles to yours and and they talk about stuff related to design, but this just seemed out of left field. I totally understand the need for contributors and am all for them, but I just personally think it would be better if their topics and styles were more in line with your normal posts.

      1. Contributors like Brady and all from your team are great, the have your quirky vibe. Also Orlando Soria is a great designer, love him too. The rest not so, especially when it’s not design related.

    5. It’s kind of annoying that you all want to pigeon hole this blog into only what you want. Design. Written by Emily. And nothing else, unless it is about design and at least sounds like Emily. Do you realize you get this blog for free? Does no one else realize how amazing it is that we still get to read blogs for free? I would have thought by now that it would have evolved to some kind of subscription service.

      Also does it not occur to you that even though you don’t seem to think this blog post applies to you that means you get to air your opinion? It speaks to some people, just maybe not you. If you don’t like it then don’t read it and come back in six months when she is able to post about her nursery after she gets it published because that is what pays the bills and not you!

      Anyway, do what you want Emily Henderson and I’ll be here reading along.

      1. You’re right we get blogs for free, but bloggers get paid by us being here, so it makes sense for them to cater to their audience, no?

        1. What Faustus said, same thing with youtubers, they get paid because there are people viewing their stuff. If no one comes to visit, they will close shop, end of business. Which is WHY they should cater to their majority customer base. :)

      2. the site is called STYLE by EMILY HENDERSON… expecting it to be about style/design and that it comes from emily isn’t asking much.

  3. It’s also interesting to note that in MN, there is a new employment law that says it is illegal to forbid employees from discussing their salaries/bonuses. Since, ya know, if you legally can’t talk to your workmates about what they happen to be making it’s sort of hard to figure out if you’re being underpaid….that said, culturally, SO impossible here. I have not really ever discussed what I make with co-workers. No one here even says how much they paid for their house or rent, so not an open culture that way…. not like out east near the hubby in long island – they’ll tell you whatever you want to know.

    1. The funny thing about people not wanting to say what they paid for their house is that it’s a public record! (at least in Hennepin County) So I don’t even bother to ask. I just look it up. Agreed though that people are quite reserved. That’s possibly why I have so many friends who are transplants like me!

  4. This is a well written post, but I’m confused about the direction of this blog. This is Style by Emily Henderson. I don’t come here for career advice from people who I honestly don’t think are qualified to give it. If this blog steers too far from design, count me out.

    1. What Jenn F said, some of these advice are wayyy off. Emily is a design and styling pro, we all agree, but this blog is going into some weird direction as of now.

  5. It is kind of a weird match… home decor blog, cooking channel personalities and job advice. I usually read anything here but I couldn’t do this one. I think my limit of non-sequitors is two. lol.

    1. Agreed.

      Love the website, but had to stop reading after the first few lines. Why are party girls telling us how to get raises? I’d be fine hearing about stylish parties or cocktails from them…

      1. agreed. this used to be my favorite blog but this year it definitely changed for the worse for me. so disappointing and honestly frustrating.

        1. What K said, I feel so disappointing for 2016. I was hyped for more design mistakes, but the post chose to include the names of DIY-ers as people who created mistake – note this is a huge mistake to me.

          I think I will appreciate more designer spotlight or design books Emily recommend if she doesn’t have her own projects to show for a while. Or hell, even Emily writing letters to her younger self was soo much a better read that this post. Please read our feedback, thank you Emily! You’re still a styling goddess in our hearts!

  6. I love that this post is here! Women need to build up women, no matter the platform.

    I am totally down with these kinds of posts being here. I do come here for design specific posts and your quirky, hilarious writing style. This particular post is none of those things. But if these posts are here IN ADDITION TO your regular content, then I’m happy about it. I think if they’re replacing your daily design post, that’s when I’ll be bummed.

  7. No argument that this is an important issue and well written, but this is the place I come for a bit of escape and to use the part of my brain (the creative side) that I don’t get to use the rest of my day at my oh-so-ok-but-probably-not-paid-enough job. Design baby, design!

  8. Please get back to design. That is why we come here. There are so many better sources for career advice.

    If it’s too hard to do quality design posts every day then simply post less. Contributed stories like this detract from your brand and blog.

    1. What Angela said, will appreciate just a few posts but ABOUT DESIGN, than all these weird career advice thingy that’s going on so so frequently. It’s kinda deterring me from visiting your blog. Those excitement gone.

  9. Thank you for expanding your posts to include successful dreamers from other creative fields. You stated perfectly clearly that your content was going to widen by topics and writers, and this is a good show of it. Please continue to push your own boundaries in new ways… while all of your readers might not like it, I want to state the obvious: you cannot please all people all the time. Congratulations on your family and professional life, and how you choose to combine them!

  10. Great tips! I loved the info about exposure. I have a background in art, but currently work in a non-creative field. Now I have some ideas to help me lay a foundation when I finally decide to follow my passion!

  11. What?!!!! These women seem awesome, they have admittedly very cool qualifications but none of which is to give proven career advice. There are THOUSANDS of women who give career advice for a living, why not turn to them for this sort of material? This is so bizarre. Also bizarre because this is neither design nor lifestyle advice. You seemed so hesitant to bring in guest authors, and I didn’t think it was a big deal, but now I know why, you are planning to present a random assortment of content from random people. Sorry but, kinda also not sorry. Although, I do appreciate the message, women should be asking for raises, I just wish you reached out to Equal Rights Advocates, or the other Billion women who fight in this space every single day of their lives.

  12. I think this post is great, Emily. To the other readers who have beef – read the design posts that interest you and layoff with the negativity. Not sure why you all are coming to the comment section of an article you don’t approve of just to be argumentative. Perplexing…

    On a different note, this post brings to light some nuances that are regularly overlooked by business blogs, which tend to be more male centric. I especially like the bit about knowingly working for less than what you’re worth – so long as you have a plan. In some situations, it can pay off big when you move to the next job.

    1. Point is not to be argumentative. Emily is testing out new ideas and she is looking for honest feedback from her readers. We are all commenting because we love this blog and want to support its evolution in a way that continues to keep her core audience excited.

      1. Well said Angela.

        While negativity is pervasive and expected in most internet comment sections, I think the seemingly negative comments here are better viewed as loyal readers who just want to see the blog continue to thrive.

        **To put my opinion simply, this is the first time since I began reading the blog a year ago that I have not read the entire post.

        I think Emily and her hard working team would want to know that.

    2. Agreed! I am not liking all of the negativity. I feel like people are forgetting that this blog is a small portion of Emily’s business. She has her “real day job” to do, design! Can they really expect her to run a successful business, have a family, and write a new and exciting design centric blog post every day that will change their lives?!?! It just seems crazy.

      Would you rather have Emily post once a month when she gets a chance, or have some filler like this that may not pertain perfectly to every single design minded person but I guarantee someone will get something out of it. That someone just may not be you, so don’t feel like you have to complain about it.

      1. Emily (Not Henderson), if the choice were to be as you represented I would opt for the former: fewer posts, written by Emily. I read other blogs that only post a few times a month. In fact nearly (possibly all) blogs I subscribe to, I do so based on content, not frequency.

        1. What Liss said, fewer posts but are design related. Or just Emily talking about her feelings. I read Brittany Makes, House Tweaking, etc and they don’t post everyday but when they do, it’s amazing. And design related!

  13. While I agree with some commenters that there are many other people who could give great career advice, why is everyone so quick to tear these ladies down? Their persona is “party girls,” but they have parlayed that into a successful business… And their career advice sounds none too different from that which I’ve read elsewhere, with the added bonus of invoking Morticia Addams – love it.

    Of course, the best way to earn parity for male and female workers is through social movements that fight for subsidized childcare and universal maternity leave, not through individual action. Still, orgs like Ask For It (http://www.askforitproject.com/) that teach negotiation skills can be really empowering.

    I’m on board with this, Emily.

    1. I have to agree with Hillary on this. I began reading this & actually had to dbl check I was still on Style by Emily Henderson.

      Also, when you’re self employed, like the women who wrote this, then I find it really hard to take your advice seriously. As a business owner, of course you’re gonna have the chops to know how & when to ask for what you’re worth.

      I’d be more inclined to read an article on this subject written by a woman actually working at a company in either an entry level, or mid level position. Someone who knows the particulars regarding whom to speak to about a raise, when’s the best time & their personal experience in having gone through it.

      This article just sends the wrong vibe coming from 2 successful, self employed women. Almost like they’re telling us lowly employee gals what we’re doing wrong out there.

      Just my 2¢

      Andrea :(

      1. I totally agree with you Andrea. This approach just doesn’t seem realistic unless you work within a very small group of jobs particularly in LA.

        I work for a small, family owned manufacturing business on the east coast and have actively been requesting a raise for three years and every single time, my (female) boss just says, “sorry not this year try next year.” without even the respect of sitting down with me and telling me why or whether it’s because of my performance or maybe company earnings are low….
        I’d love to leave for a better paying position but facts are, there aren’t any so I’m stuck.

    2. Lol ok, so we women are such strong, amazing creatures yet we can’t ask for & get higher incomes that’d pay for quality childcare ourselves, we need the big, benevolent government to do it for us?

      Uh, whatever. You can’t have it both ways: you’re either strong & smart, work hard & get what you’re worth, or you sit around on your butt waiting for someone to come along & do it for you.

      P.S. Nobody will

  14. Decent post, but I have to agree with the other commenters that it feels incongruous with both the blog and the authors. It is a super important issue, but if you want to start giving career advice on the regular, I am going to be very bummed. I am a graduate student and a current job-seeker, and this used to be a blog I would come to as a little break from the grind or as a reward for getting something done. Not so much anymore. I would really like to read a post about your vision/dream for the future of this blog’s CONTENT, so that at least us “complainers” can shut up and know what to expect. That confusing new year’s post on appetizers and side dishes did not prepare us for this type of post. You said in that post that contributions would still be style-centric and could include “fun women’s topics,” but this is stretching the definitions of both style and fun.

    1. P.S. These women seem awesome and I wouldn’t be opposed to reading more from them, but maybe don’t only write in their bio that they are party professionals on TV/web and then ask them to write about career advice? Maybe say that they a very successful entrepreneurs who have overcome a lot of challenges (give examples) to get where they are? That framing could make a significant difference in how they are perceived.

  15. This is so fascinating. I’ve been reading this blog for a long time, and like so many of the other commenters, sometimes it feels like I know Emily, when I obviously don’t. But if I had to guess, I’d say part of the reason this post is here is because Emily is really passionate about helping young women get their foot in the door of a really challenging industry. And bravo, if that’s the case. I think everybody can win, if some tweaks were made.

    Like many of the other readers, I come to this site for design advice presented in a fresh and relatable way and tend to skip the posts that don’t appeal to me (which isn’t a big deal, btw). Anyway, here’s an idea: if this is a passion project for you Emily, why not dedicate a separate area of your blog to “aspiring designers and/or creative freelancers” or something like that? I actually worked as a career counselor at a university for a long time, and I can say there is absolute dearth of good career advice for people looking to work in creative fields. A lot of the career advice and literature out there is very corporate focused, and I think some resources and perspective–from your very specific niche–would be so valuable. But maybe keep is as a separate tab so you don’t alienate your core readers, who are here for design tips?? Just a thought. And when you do have cool-as-hell guest-posters like today’s, just be sure to stick with the niche–entrepreneurship in the creative world.

  16. I really enjoy your design articles. And, hope that’s what your focus on in the future. Important topic and it’s covered extensively and effectively on many other sites. Doing what you do so well is what I come to your blog for. Just a bit of feedback

  17. I haven’t commented on a post in quite a while, mainly because I’m quickly reading the blog while scarfing down my lunch before heading back into my painting studio. BUT I LOVE Allie & Georgia and think their voice could be a perfect fit for your blog, but this didn’t really sound like them at all. The thing that sets them apart is the way the way they play off each other and how much fun they always seem to be having– neither of which was apparent in this post taking on such a heavy topic. I know from listening to their podcast that they are very smart & savvy women but I agree with other commenters that a take on this important topic might be more compelling coming from another voice if you want to address these kinds of topics ( I’ll add my vote for keeping this blog more design/lifestyle centric ). Would love to see A&G as contributors, but I don’t think this served them well as an introductory post. :-(

  18. I echo Hilary’s comment – The article is about an important topic, but I didn’t read it. I visit your site, Emily, to hear your voice about style, design, and occasional life topics coming from your life.

  19. EMILY,
    PEOPLE ARE BEING WAY TOO HARD ON YOU. YOU’VE WRITTEN ALL OF THE POSTS RECENTLY (I’VE SEEN THE MEGA-INCREASE), YOU WARNED PEOPLE ABOUT THESE CHANGES, AND YOU CAREFULLY VETTED FOR COOL/GOOD VOICES. I WILL READ WHATEVER YOU PUT ON THE BLOG. WHETHER IT’S STYLE OR LIFESTYLE, I’M IN.
    THANKS FOR ALL YOU DO,
    JESSIE

    1. That should not have been in all-caps. I thought that was a font choice. Now I realize my keyboard was on all-caps. Very fun.

  20. When I have 5 dollars and 5 minutes, and I go to Starbucks for my favorite treat, I don’t want the Barista changing it up on me. Even if her concoction is really great, I am still annoyed.

    1. In this analogy Emily is could also be viewed as the person ordering. It’s her blog, she gets to do what she wants. And having contributing writers allows her to design for real life clients that pay her money and spend time with her family.

      1. Of course it’s her blog and she can do whatever she wants. She also wants readership and earns money from the blog, and has always seemed to value her engaged readership who give her valuable feedback.

  21. Such a big fan of this post. I enjoy the idea of the blog of a smart, successful woman being a resource for other smart women- in more aspects than just design. I tend to view you and Alie and Georgia as examples of a career focused people I can learn from- and it’s nice to see that kind of information presented here.

    While yes- I came here for the design initially- I stayed because you have thoughtful, interesting things to say and I trust that your contributors will do the same. Why not have more thought provoking content and pretty things all in the same place. I’d be so excited to see more posts from Alie and Georgia.

  22. Does this mean you’re moving to a lifestyle/magazine blog?

    *”this” being the recent inclusion of a higher ratio of “non-design” posts.

    Great contributor choice, if you’re going in that direction.

    1. P.S. Complete non-sequitur; did Brady, Sara, and Ginny complete their makeovers? I think the process blogs got a little controversial, still, would love to see the final rooms (or at least “final for this photoshoot”). Did I miss it? Or the completion of the Orcondo? (Loved his Christmas post, btw)

      1. What Liss said, the makeover takeovers kinda just stopped halfway without showing us the final reveal or something. Or did I missed a post of two???

  23. This comment comes with the following caveat: I am a big fan of your blog and my comment is not intended to be negative, but rather constructive criticism from my perspective as a reader. I come to this blog to read about home design and about you… After all, your blog is titled “Style by Emily Henderson.” My issue with today’s post is that has nothing to do with style OR Emily Henderson. I understand the want (need?) to include content from other contributors, but if I was interested in general career advice I would seek out a site catering to that subject matter. In my opinion (others are of course free to disagree) , if you are going to include content from other contributors, you should at least keep the subject matter somewhat related to design. I enjoy YOUR non design related posts because they are about YOU – a person/personality I find interesting. Of course I can just choose to not read the posts I don’t find interesting or relevant – but isn’t the point to provide your readers with content they care to read? I still love your blog and will continue reading, just offering my two cents to the extent it helps you in navigating the type of contributor posts that you include going forward.

    1. Agree. I enjoy the parenting, outfit, business, life in your 20s, etc, posts because they are about the fabulous Emily Henderson. The resume post mightn’t have been so controversial if it was titled “what I (Emily) look for in a resume” (and what a great resource for those who might apply to work with Emily’s team).

  24. Resumes, laydees making the money, moving to a big city, interview tips, vacationing with kids — all great topics. I do come for design, but love to hear about all the things. Making money, knowing your worth, and asking for what you want — this is relevant to everyone on the planet. I am fine if the blog trends more lifestyle than design on some days, but then again, it’s not about me. Do what feels right for you. People will still come.

  25. What an incredibly bizarre post today….It has zero to do with design and worst…am I really supposed to take career advice from two party chicks?????

  26. I have been working all day, all week, all month. I am successful at work. At home after work, I am tired. I want to lie on the couch and look at pretty pictures.

    Expand away! The design posts by your assistants are just fine with me. What’s up with the condo? With the bedroom remodel? Who is wearing what cute new trend and how? Vacation? Great! Do you have some pretty pictures? Awww! Cute kids!

    Just, please, no more work!

    1. K,

      THIS comment made my day!! Have you thought about starting a blog? Cause you nailed everybody’s feeling on this post & in a cleverly, humorous way :)

      Andrea

  27. I’ve always been a big fan of Alie and Georgia and am actually excited to see what kind of fun they might bring to the site. I appreciate this post as a young (man) starting things off in the world of design. After reading some of the comments, I think it would have been better to start off their contributing with something more “lifestyle-esque” as pertains to their very cool background. But anyways, solid post, and excited to see what new areas this might go into.

  28. I just read the NY Magazine interview of bloggers John & Sherry of Young House Love regarding why they abandoned their blog. It was because of negative commenters who felt like J&S owed them something! Yes, this post was not in Emily’s wheelhouse; however, the level of negativity is disproportionate to the “sin.” If you keep up the entitled attitudes, either Emily will cease taking risks in the content of her blog or she will say “Screw this!” like John and Sherry did. Then we will all be sorry.

    http://nymag.com/thecut/2016/01/can-young-house-love-escape-the-internet.html

    1. What’s this? Blogger threatening to shut down their blog when we don’t like what they posted? Granted the folks at YHL might be a bit demanding at times, things just become more complicated when you advance in your career, happen all the time. It’s about whether you can deal with the pressure or not. Geez, no one ever say it’s easy to put yourself in the public spotlight, and get paid for it.

      Just like are people who love and hate Justin Bieber, does that mean he should go quit his job or whatever? Maybe the person should identify what is constructive feedback and who are just being a hater. Again, no one ever say it’s gonna be easy.

    2. I don’t think this is a good comparison. YHL was a blog about their personal home and their personal life. To hear lots of negative feedback on your personal choices would be very hard and I can understand why they wanted to stop doing it. But, this is Emily’s professional blog. Sure, she talks about her personal life because she chooses to do so, but the basis of the blog is her profession as a designer. If she can’t stick to what she does (design), and do it well, her business will suffer.

      That said, there are ways to weave in some of these more “serious” topics into the design content. Design Sponge is a fantastic example of a design blog that also focuses on female empowerment and minority representation in the art/design/craft world. Grace really thought through how to bring those aspects into her blog and she has done it seamlessly.

      I feel like Emily is trying to bring in these more serious topics in the same lighthearted way that she treats everything, and it feels jarring. Stick to what you do well, outsource what you don’t do well to others who do it well. Don’t give the party girls the task of being serious, unless they have proven they can do it well.

    3. Agreed La Lady. Everybody relax folks. If you don’t want to read the post then don’t read the post. Emily has been posting kick ass content for years upon years and wanted to add in something new to the mix. She’s in a creative field and might have more interests than just design so I don’t see what the harm is in discussing them. Particularly such an important topic as gender equality. Good grief.

    4. I’ve been thinking the exact same thing. It’s not going to take long for this to get completely frustrating to the team, I imagine. I’m not saying people aren’t entitled to their opinions about the blog…but I can’t figure out why it’s necessary to ALWAYS say something about it. Lately, the discontent in the comments section is exhausting (but it’s like watching a train wreck, so I keep reading…and I’m adding to it by also commenting…and ’round and ’round it all goes…).

      I understand that certain people are trying to lovingly critique, and don’t intend comments for harm, but for the greater good of the blog. But then there are others that sound SO ENTITLED.

    1. Ah nooo, Emily don’t listen to these kinds of comments… these girls rocked! And of course, they’d be presenting all kinds of topics… Stephanie, and all of us, will still get our good doses of design… Please sprinkle these girls into the plan. Seriously love the vibes, so fun to read!

  29. I just can’t get over the negativity that’s shown up here lately. It’s like one hater appeared and then they all came running. Not every comment has to be in agreement with the blogpost, but hatefulness is never necessary. I know you all have thick skin because you’ve been doing this for a while, but I really hope you and the team aren’t letting it get to you. Just remember, for every unnecessary hater, there are many more people (like me) that never comment and are thrilled to read whatever content you post every day. I know that every post is thoughtful and intentional, and I appreciate all that you do. As long as it’s true to you and the team, I love it.

  30. In response to do all the hate in the comments — YOU DO YOU EM HENDO!!! There’s a reason you’ve got to the place you have and that’s because you have good instincts. Follow them. Change is scary for some people, but you have to follow what you feel is right for YOUR brand.

    That being said, I liked this post. As a bit of (hopefully) constructive criticism I will say, its a little bit “every single ‘levo league’ article ever written” but that’s probably just because i read all of their articles! haha! It may have been nice to get some unique perspectives on how to do this for different types of careers and how it differs. It will take a while to work out the kinks, I’m here, though!

  31. Interesting mix of comments on this post. I tend to agree with the other people who said that this is not the type of content they come here for. I appreciate the effort to mix up the content and I do think that some career advice is helpful, but it seems like it should come from other interior designers or stylists. Oh So Beautiful Paper does a great job integrating posts with career advice on their site, but it always comes from people who make a living designing paper products. I don’t get the connection between “self-proclaimed party professionals and cocktail connoisseurs” and interior design.

    I also find their 1950’s housewife personas to be off-putting. It’s approaching kitsch. I get the feeling that their look is supposed to be some sort of social commentary, but it seems like a stretch. Sure, they’re cute, but they look like performers and not modern day role models for women trying to succeed in business. It’s an odd package to deliver that message in—both in general, and on this blog. Their image seems so far from anything that’s ever been featured here.

    I’ve worked for both a high-end interior design firm and a boutique firm with an artsy edge, and I can honestly say that this brand of career advice would not be taken seriously at either one. The advice itself is extremely general and could have been written by anyone. To quote Lady Mary, “A monkey could type out the Bible if you leave it long enough.”

    Sorry, Emily. This post just doesn’t seem fitting of this blog.

  32. I really admire Emily for a gazillion reasons, and I honestly think it is great she brought up this topic on the blog. I trust and look up to her, and similarly feel very much in awe of the other talented ladies she works with. If she feels someone or some topic is worth bringing into the blog, I will probably lurve it like I lurve all the other stuff she does. And extra kudos cause this is an important topic for other women and I enjoyed reading it.

  33. I have tried to look up so many articles concerning this issue and this one is by far the most helpful and inspirational. Thank you so much for sharing this with all of us. I’ll definitely be looking at this again before I ask for my next raise!