Alright cool kids, welcome back another meeting of the “Adults Who Aren’t Really Adults” Club. Glad you could make it, and thanks for not telling any real adults, like the lame ones. I want to keep this super exclusive for those of us who go against the grain. Before we start, let’s all say the club motto: “I am still young. I am still cool. I’m not turning into my parents.”
Ok, does anyone have anything they want to share this week? Katy, do you have any updates on that nose piercing you got last week for your 41st B-Day? No? Ok, well I’ve got something, I’ll go.
So last Saturday I was listening to some super young and hip music, like stuff that’s a little “underground”. I think her name was Lizz-y? Lizz-er? Lizz-something. Whatever her name was, you could tell that the song was super cool because she said the b-word in it. Anyway, I was listening to her as I was putting some SPF 50 on my tattoos (mineral-based, obviously). I was wearing my vintage band tee-shirt, (not a button-up!) because I still rock! and my arms were exposed and I didn’t want any of the three tattoos that I got in the last year to fade. I was headed outside to play basketball with my kids, because I’m still active enough to get a little too serious about playing sports with my kids.
I turned my hat backwards, of course, because the brim gets in the way of my sick jump-shot, which I had to show Charlie like twenty times before it was his turn to try a shot. And after my sixth brick bounced over to the side of the house, I saw that our collection of garbage cans were a mess. They were scattered all around, with some random trash strewn around them – the result of nighttime critters getting into the scraps of our organic Mac and cheese night.
My eyes followed the mess to our backyard, (don’t worry I was wearing wayfarers but you know, prescriptions) where I saw all of our kids’ yard toys scattered around. That’s when I had the most “fire” idea. It’s time for us to get some… wait for it… sheds!
WOAH! WHAT?! I know what you’re thinking, that shopping for sheds is a pedestrian task that comes with cliche adulthood and homeownership. But don’t buy into that establishment thinking – shopping for sheds is super punk rock. It’s not lame or boring at all! Here’s the rundown.
We needed a place to store both our garbage cans and our outdoor stuff, and it had to be black or at least dark grey to match our exterior color scheme, and our rock ’n roll spirit! But mostly the color scheme. At first, I thought about getting a huge shed that was big enough to store everything in one place like this big storage beast.
But after we cleaned out and organized the garage, in our super non-basic Saturday afternoon punk rock way, we figured out that we can store all of our outdoor tools in the garage. Plus we think it would look nicer to have a few small things around than a big ole’ honking shed that takes up a bunch of space. Are you floored yet? Well there’s more!
Also because it snows and rains up here at the mountain house (nothing screams reckless youth more than a mountain house btw) we needed something that was weatherproof and sturdy. So I whipped out my laptop, closed some edgy tabs like Disney+ and ABC Mouse, and started a badass google search – black outdoor storage. It was like I was twenty again! The excitement! The edge-of-your-seat suspense!
Here’s what came up:
Talk about rock and roll. I think we’re leaning towards this trunk one for the outside toys since it looks like wicker but is really a resin that can withstand the weather.
It was a little harder to find something to store the garbage cans in… is a sentence that you only write if you live on the edge. There were some black ones we found online but I like to check the reviews before buying, and man oh man were the reviews bad. Checking the reviews of garbage can storage sheds is basically the new skydiving. It’s like the X-Games – not for the faint of heart. Buckle up if you go down that rabbit hole because your eyes will see some crazy stuff like, “You need an engineering degree to put this together!” or, “This thing sucks!”. Woah! These guys are ruthless.
I literally couldn’t find a single black garbage can shed that didn’t appear to fall apart after a month. The best I could find was this medium-sized one. It has a black top and dark grey body, which would disappear enough. It also gets good reviews and seems easy to put together.
I know what you’re probably thinking – “Brian, why don’t you buck the patriarchy and just build your own shed?” Well I might. I HATE the patriarchy! Emily found some pretty edgy examples of wood sheds that are DIY, which look much nicer than the pre-fab ones. The problem is, as super manly as I am, I’m not the greatest carpenter, so building a shed from scratch seems kinda daunting. I may end up trying my hand at it, or we may hire a handyman to build one for us. We’re still deciding. It’s crazy over here, guys.
Here’s that inspo Emily found:
So what do you guys think? Do you have any good ideas? Woah! That’s a lot of hands in the air! This is almost as provocative as our debate about using knee-pads while gardening! And that debate almost tore this club apart. I know it’s hard because this is such a “fire” topic, But let’s try not to yell so much this time, ok? So, please leave your comments down below and I’ll make sure to read them all. And remember, don’t let anyone tell you that home improvement is lame, or that shopping for household items is boring, I mean, I’m sweating from the adrenaline this conversation has cooked up! Now go out there and rebel against adulthood! Let’s finish with our closing statement:
“I’m cool, I’m young, and I’m relevant. And I’m definitely not, I repeat NOT turning into my parents.
Keep on rocking. I’ll see you at the next meeting of the “Adults Who Aren’t Really Adults, Because We know Who Lizz-er Is” Club.