Alright cool kids, welcome back another meeting of the “Adults Who Aren’t Really Adults” Club. Glad you could make it, and thanks for not telling any real adults, like the lame ones. I want to keep this super exclusive for those of us who go against the grain. Before we start, let’s all say the club motto: “I am still young. I am still cool. I’m not turning into my parents.”
Ok, does anyone have anything they want to share this week? Katy, do you have any updates on that nose piercing you got last week for your 41st B-Day? No? Ok, well I’ve got something, I’ll go.
So last Saturday I was listening to some super young and hip music, like stuff that’s a little “underground”. I think her name was Lizz-y? Lizz-er? Lizz-something. Whatever her name was, you could tell that the song was super cool because she said the b-word in it. Anyway, I was listening to her as I was putting some SPF 50 on my tattoos (mineral-based, obviously). I was wearing my vintage band tee-shirt, (not a button-up!) because I still rock! and my arms were exposed and I didn’t want any of the three tattoos that I got in the last year to fade. I was headed outside to play basketball with my kids, because I’m still active enough to get a little too serious about playing sports with my kids.
I turned my hat backwards, of course, because the brim gets in the way of my sick jump-shot, which I had to show Charlie like twenty times before it was his turn to try a shot. And after my sixth brick bounced over to the side of the house, I saw that our collection of garbage cans were a mess. They were scattered all around, with some random trash strewn around them – the result of nighttime critters getting into the scraps of our organic Mac and cheese night.
My eyes followed the mess to our backyard, (don’t worry I was wearing wayfarers but you know, prescriptions) where I saw all of our kids’ yard toys scattered around. That’s when I had the most “fire” idea. It’s time for us to get some… wait for it… sheds!
WOAH! WHAT?! I know what you’re thinking, that shopping for sheds is a pedestrian task that comes with cliche adulthood and homeownership. But don’t buy into that establishment thinking – shopping for sheds is super punk rock. It’s not lame or boring at all! Here’s the rundown.
We needed a place to store both our garbage cans and our outdoor stuff, and it had to be black or at least dark grey to match our exterior color scheme, and our rock ’n roll spirit! But mostly the color scheme. At first, I thought about getting a huge shed that was big enough to store everything in one place like this big storage beast.
But after we cleaned out and organized the garage, in our super non-basic Saturday afternoon punk rock way, we figured out that we can store all of our outdoor tools in the garage. Plus we think it would look nicer to have a few small things around than a big ole’ honking shed that takes up a bunch of space. Are you floored yet? Well there’s more!
Also because it snows and rains up here at the mountain house (nothing screams reckless youth more than a mountain house btw) we needed something that was weatherproof and sturdy. So I whipped out my laptop, closed some edgy tabs like Disney+ and ABC Mouse, and started a badass google search – black outdoor storage. It was like I was twenty again! The excitement! The edge-of-your-seat suspense!
Here’s what came up:
1. Steel Spacemaker Deck Box | 2. Wicker Deck Box | 3. Estep Resin Deck Box | 4. 70 Gallon Resin Deck Box
Talk about rock and roll. I think we’re leaning towards this trunk one for the outside toys since it looks like wicker but is really a resin that can withstand the weather.
It was a little harder to find something to store the garbage cans in… is a sentence that you only write if you live on the edge. There were some black ones we found online but I like to check the reviews before buying, and man oh man were the reviews bad. Checking the reviews of garbage can storage sheds is basically the new skydiving. It’s like the X-Games – not for the faint of heart. Buckle up if you go down that rabbit hole because your eyes will see some crazy stuff like, “You need an engineering degree to put this together!” or, “This thing sucks!”. Woah! These guys are ruthless.
I literally couldn’t find a single black garbage can shed that didn’t appear to fall apart after a month. The best I could find was this medium-sized one. It has a black top and dark grey body, which would disappear enough. It also gets good reviews and seems easy to put together.
I know what you’re probably thinking – “Brian, why don’t you buck the patriarchy and just build your own shed?” Well I might. I HATE the patriarchy! Emily found some pretty edgy examples of wood sheds that are DIY, which look much nicer than the pre-fab ones. The problem is, as super manly as I am, I’m not the greatest carpenter, so building a shed from scratch seems kinda daunting. I may end up trying my hand at it, or we may hire a handyman to build one for us. We’re still deciding. It’s crazy over here, guys.
Here’s that inspo Emily found:
So what do you guys think? Do you have any good ideas? Woah! That’s a lot of hands in the air! This is almost as provocative as our debate about using knee-pads while gardening! And that debate almost tore this club apart. I know it’s hard because this is such a “fire” topic, But let’s try not to yell so much this time, ok? So, please leave your comments down below and I’ll make sure to read them all. And remember, don’t let anyone tell you that home improvement is lame, or that shopping for household items is boring, I mean, I’m sweating from the adrenaline this conversation has cooked up! Now go out there and rebel against adulthood! Let’s finish with our closing statement:
“I’m cool, I’m young, and I’m relevant. And I’m definitely not, I repeat NOT turning into my parents.
Keep on rocking. I’ll see you at the next meeting of the “Adults Who Aren’t Really Adults, Because We know Who Lizz-er Is” Club.
I was entertained from the first word to the last! And in between all the fun you even managed to make several valid points about sheds. It’s always exciting when Brian posts and I’m looking forward to your next adventure with words!
It looks like you already have a place for the garbage cans. Maybe you can simply build a door/gate to cover where they currently are and paint it to match the home’s exterior?
That’s what I thought, too!
Agree, 100%…just match the horizontal boards! Whatever toy chest you choose, will it be kid-friendly-does not lock shut if a kid climbed in and not too high where they can not put the toys away themselves.
Choose a deck box with pneumatic hinges to protect little fingers. All the cool kids are doing it.
Yes, that’s a good use of the space under the stairs. Would the garbage can shed fit in there, recessed and out of the way? Garbage would be critter proof but the shed would not take up any more space and would be more discreetly hidden. Also, is there space behind the lattice for toy storage? Remove the lattice and put the storage trunk under the stairs?
I immediately thought you should keep your garbage cans right where they are and simply install a roller up-n-down door at the front to keep the critters out.
Then, if needed, just get the toy storage box.
For me, I prefer the working with what you have solutions the most because these as the solutions that more people can relate to and feel “Yeah, that’s doable.”
Love your work, Brian!
That was my thinking. Integrate it into the house, under the stairs. Why do the separate shed?
I agree, use the space under the stairs for the garbage cans! Otherwise, wouldn’t that be a kind of weird empty space?
Yes. That was my first thought!
Yup, my thoughts exactly. Although I’ll not complain against a chance to read some more of Brian’s writing! But yeah, just put a door in the nook and leave the cans where they are.
Brian’s posts are my new fave!
Ha! This is a very timely post for our own “rock & roll” problems with garbage cans. I’d love to see some options to screen garbage cans from the street, but not true garbage sheds due to space concerns, for those of us living with the hip cats in the city. We put our garbage cans by our back fence, and I need a way to still access them but have them screened off from the street.
At a previous house, we had a similar situation and we put up a frame with natural brushwood panels. I don’t know if brushwood is a thing outside of Australia?
Because it’s an organic look, it blended in really well and hid those bins so well, with a little wriggle room for a couple of other bits n bobs.
Why don’t you cover the current location of the bins by constructing a roll-up garage door or even a swing out door, and adhere wheels to the bins to bring them in and out?
Do you also have to consider the slope of the roof so that it doesn’t direct water towards the house?
hahahahah – love it, brian!
Too funny. I’m in your demographic. 40. Mom. Think I’m younger and cooler than I am.
Fun post and writing! A few thoughts – 1) why not just put some kind of door for the under-stair area to better hide the trash cans there? 2) does color matter? I’d paint whatever you end up buying the same color as your siding to blend in. 3). One suuuper easy DIY fix to breath some new life into that area is to resurface the driveway with some driveway sealant. My parents made me do it every summer hah.
Tear off that lattice,build a rolling bin on caster wheels that fits in that spot under the stairs for the kids toys, have a carpenter make 2 doors for the spaces. One for the space you already store your garbage can, and one for the new toy storage bin. Problem solved and no weird appendage shed sticking out from the house. Also, ditto on the pavement sealer.
This post made me laugh – thank you!
Heart eyes for Brian.
This is “fire”. Brian is hysterical!
Is it Lizzo you’re thinking of? I’m 37 so don’t take my word for it. My rock and roll quarantine moment was realizing I could store all my spices in old Bonne Maman jars and I got right to decanting and labeling. You know, like a cool person.
Such a fun read! Best of luck in your decision making. P.S. I like the handmade ones!
Hilarious, Brian!!! I would love to join this club, as I’ve recently been pinning similar ideas for both toy & garbage sheds. Who knew it could be so enthralling?? I’ve also been resisting my desire to buy a new $200 dual compartment trash/recycling can. Talk about Rock ‘N Roll. Nothing says “adults who aren’t really adults” more than a receptacle for Clif Z Bar wrappers and organic fruit & veggies pouches, plus empty beer and liquor bottles. Ok, off to sand a deck now… I mean… do something really hip and cool like make a Tik Tok video or something. 😉
Funny is always cool, Brian. I still feel like that and I’m probably your parents’ age (64). My vintage concert tees are The Pretenders, Tom Petty ….
I’ve been following Emily since Design Star. Rock on!
Dominique-we’re twins! Ok almost, I’ll be 64 next week-but in my head I’m 27-ish. Bowie, Led Zep and Moody Blues ( among many others) are my Tee-shirts LOL
Brian-make the stair cut-out work for its keep. Shelves and hooks for toys and add doors to close it off. Trash cans go behind a lattice panel thingy you can buy at Lowe’s and paint whatever color you need.
This post MADE MY DAY……thank you!!! Still laughing……
I second the idea of keeping the trash where it is with a door added to hide it all. The storage shed thing that you show right next to the house would allow snow and water to get behind it, right next to the house. Something to think about.
Cracked me up. I love when Brian posts! Rock on.
Do you need to make it bear proof up there??
I know in Tahoe they have Bear boxes for garbage that the bears cannot break into.
Just curious 😄.
A couple of thoughts:
(1) We also live in Southern California (Ojai, to be exact,) and found that after we bought an outdoor toy box (the same one as option 1), it was shortly after filled with spider webs and black and brown widows. So we stopped using it.
(2) Regarding the trash area, are bears an issue where you live? Will it need to be a critter-proof container? We don’t have to worry about bears at our house, and have a separately fenced area that matches our fence, and holds all of our trash/recycling/yard waste bins. It was seriously one of things I was most excited about when we did an exterior remodel!
I’m kind of obsessed with my upright Keter shed I got at Costco (last year). They have a different one I’ve been eyeing (https://www.keter.com/us_en/catalog/product/view/id/20502/s/msdl-17206703elite-store-shed/category/5/) for garbage cans or random outdoor stuff. I love the gray/black combo, and it can be painted if you want all black. I also have tattoos, so you know, I’m still cool 😎
Yay, Brian! I’m receiving social security, but I’m not an adult yet, either. 😁
As for the sheds, I’m afraid I like Emily’s custom sheds the best. I especially like the one with three little doors for each bin. Of course, it’s probably the most complicated to build. 😕
EHD, please let Brian Henderson write all your posts from now on. 🙂
Brian, you are funny! I had to read the whole blog even though I don’t need or want a shed!
Brian, keep up the writing, this was hilarious. at 40 years young with 3 kids I can relate big time. And I could care less about garbage sheds 😂. But I do love Lizz…er? Yeah, she’s so rad. That’s what people call cool these days right?
“Nothing screams reckless youth more than a mountain house”. 🤣 this guy’s got jokes and I am here for it.
I particularly love how many raised hands there actually are in the comments. I will just stay here in the corner and sulk in my punk rock t-shirt and leather jacket and let you losers work this one out, cause I am far too cool to care (but please for the love of god just put a door on that under the stairs nook so you can get back to more important things like slam dunks).
Hilarious!
Why not wall off and add some doors to that niche under the stairs where you’re currently keeping the trash cans? Problem solved!
Is this Style by Emily (/Brian) Henderson or McSweeney’s? 🙂 Love it!
I am not a huge fan of how the new shed would stick out past the “Architecture” — have you considered building a door for the space it currently resides, so that it is more integrated into the Architecture?
while you are looking can you find cool, edgy outdoor shoe boxes? For the very hip people who now leave their nasty shoes outside.
BH needs to be a more frequent poster! Entertaining and nice to see how edgy you’re livin life.
Brian’s posts are my new fave ..
Daniel Kanter built this little ditty out of scrap wood and such. I could not do this but maybe it gives you some ideas and a local carpenter thinks it’s an easy job. Would you consider building the shed in front of the cubby to provide more space (with a cut out for access of course)?
https://manhattan-nest.com/2019/08/29/bluestone-backyard-build-yourself-a-little-storage-shed/
I just died laughing. Brian Henderson, you are one funny man. I am greatly enjoying these butch digressions from sofa talk.
We used to live in the mountains of Colorado and critters in trash was definitely an issue! So whatever you pursue, I’d think something creature-proof. Latches? Locks? What kind of creatures do you have? Nothing is more of a mountain-town bummer than a bear that has to get put down because people wouldn’t take care of their trash appropriately. Glad you’re thinking about it! 👍
this is one of the funniest things i have ever read.
Maybe it’s just me and my cheap-o parents, but nothing says more “being my parents” than buying a drab plastic pre fab storage unit for my bins..I say hire a talented carpenter who could probably use the money right now amidst all this craziness.. Nothing more rock and roll than that 🤟🏻
Please can we hear what the exterior paint color is already?’
Omg I’m dying laughing reading this. So good! Way to make a boring home topic hilarious and informative
yeah weekend morning humor writing! As a 37 year old who has just spend hours on etsy wondering what multi-piercing earring combinations look cool but not like I’m trying too hard- I died. And I was also wondering why we didn’t get more info on the recessed niches that aren’t currently working for you. A door does seem like an obvious and simple solution. I was thrilled about the idea of an outdoor toy box (brilliant) until I saw the spiders comment and was all, oh yeah… guess strewn shall continue hereabouts. High five for making this subject matter highly interesting, Brian!
You need to call John Petersik from Young House Love. He’s awesome and totally into sheds. And he’s cool still 🙂
I’m totally charmed by this post.
Thank you for the good storage idea for my house!
The best thing I’ve read on weeks !! And I’m reading aloooot
This really made me laugh. Party on, Wayne!
Haha, I really enjoyed this post even though I don’t need a garbage shed. I learned awhile back that it’s just easier to keep garbage cans and toys in the garage where they are easily accessible and where (hopefully) spiders can’t get to them as easily.