Creepy Man Head Debate
There has been another man in my life for a few years – 5 to be exact … and Brian HATES him. I actually don’t even love him, but I can’t seem to get rid of him. Like that mediocre friend that you should kinda break-up with, but instead end up stringing along for years just by grabbing coffee or drinks with them every 6 months, because they nag you enough and it’s easier to do that then to dodge their hang-out requests? That is this guy, the head sculpture, above.
I have a thing for heads, certainly, that started out in the normal ‘bust’ category (a perfectly respectable thing to collect), but quickly moved into studio art of creepy strangers – a less ‘classy’ obsession. Let this be a lesson to you – life is really just one big slippery slope. This guy, who we strangely never named, but who looks a lot like James Garner, has been hard to let go of because he’s not creepy enough. I had some weeping baby heads for a while and yeah, those were creepy. But he is in a pleasant color palette and looks like he might be a cool dude. Like you might go to his house for a BBQ, where he starts drinking inappropriately early and knows a lot of references to obscure comedies, like ‘Strange Brew’. He also might be someone who you want to keep your children away from, it’s hard to tell.
The background: I first used him on my show, Secrets From a Stylist, and the homeowners pretty much threw him at my car after we wrapped that episode. They were NOT into him. So, fine, I took him home where I put him in storage because I got sick of people being like, ‘who is THAT?’ all the time.
I pulled him out a few years ago and styled him on a shelf for a shoot, where he lasted a week before Brian’s jealousy reared its ugly head and he made me shove him back in a cupboard.
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I actually can’t believe I moved houses with him – he’s REALLY heavy. But low and behold he showed up last year in a shoot for Matchbook:
He’s just back there, checking me out. Wondering why my legs are the EXACT color of the sofa.
As we were deciding what to sell on The Flea and what to keep, I thought, this guy? Am I ready to let him go? Would anybody else really want him? Do I want him? And if I don’t then why do I still have him? And as we took the time to decide he slowly got more and more damaged to the point that his collar is practically hanging on by a string and selling him might not be even worth the wrapping/shipping time.
Then last week I Instagrammed a photo with him in it, and all y’all really gave your opinions on that man, which made me think – let’s waste a post on him.
Let’s let our collective love, like, dislike, or hate be his fate.
So, I figured I’d ask all of you: Do we keep this not so ugly, but still kinda creepy sculpture of a strange man’s head around or do we get rid of it?
You decide. It’s poll time:
Keep him out in the open
Keep him, but store in a cupboard
Donate
Sell OR
Break with blunt objects in a ritualistic ceremony, thus ending my relationship with him permanently, while glueing my marriage back together at the same time. OOH, we could snapchat it. Snapchat is super good for marriages, I hear.
Eh? Now vote!
*In case the humor isn’t translating, there obviously is no jealousy or marital issues surrounding this head. Now the photos of my ex-boyfriend that I have plastered on my walls? Those are a bit trickier 🙂 testtest
I’d say blunt object, but it’s a FACE. Could you sneak up on him and deliver the blow from behind?
I’m with GMERE…. He’s just so… creepy…
I think it is the yellow around his eyes that really punch up the creepy factor
i love it.. sneak up on him! shatter it!
I can’t imagine anyone wanting to actually buy it. (sorry) I vote for a decent burial.
I second the decent burial!
girl, you so funny.
my vote: Break with blunt objects in a ritualistic ceremony thus ending my relationship with him permanently
All I keep thinking is — that head looks a little like Bill Murray from the side. That’s good in my book!
I also thought it looked a bit like Bill Murray from the side!
I think what I like about this sculpture/bust isn’t the face but the soft color and the organic texture. Hard decision. I say sell it, maybe someone out there will love it.
Queue Queen Somebody to Love
I thought Bill Murray, too!
Can we just gift it to Bill?
I def thought it looked like Bill Murray too, which kind of makes him awesome. It’s as if someone took a sculpting class and we tasked with developing a celebrity bust. They chose Bill Murray as their muse but they just couldn’t quite execute fully.
KEEP!
Definitely looks like Bill Murray from the side, and totally worth keeping the little creep! It’s a perfect conversation piece and keeps a little personality in your design! 🙂
I love it. So weird. So kitschy-fun. I feel like he was the star of a Lionel Richie music video.
Yes! I think that too. HELLO? Is it me your looking for? Creepiest music video ever.
Use him as leverage!
Next time Brian doesn’t agree with a particular purchase or design choice, use getting rid of the head as your “compromise”.
HA! This made me laugh. Speaking of things that are super good for marriages 🙂
This is GENIUS
Definitely break with blunt objects, he is just too darn creepy!
Is it weird that I want you to keep him in your house out in the open, but I wouldn’t want him in my house? You’re cool enough to pull him off, Emily!
LOL! This was my thought too! I kinda like him –> in your house. I don’t know if I would want him in mine. He’s definitely not creepy to me. Maybe he’s just really photogenic, but in real life he’s just too weird. Having said all that, though, I think my actual vote is to sell him to someone who really likes him.
Paint it out in white, maybe that will dial down the creep factor.
Yes, spray him white! Then he would be a Greek god and you could put gold laurel leaves on his head…..too much?
Oooh, love it!
I had this exact thought! Break out the spray paint!
Or, sneak him into Orlando’s house and place him somewhere to startle Orlando. . .
This is it! He needs to become the long-standing, practical joke between you and the rest of the design team. Take turns hiding him in random spaces all over your studio and/or each other’s houses. Too fun!
I think he would make the best white elephant gift ever!!! Possibly for Orlando?
Dress him like a clown and put him in a box like Gwyneth Paltrow’s head in Seven and give it as an Orcondo housewarming gift! And film it, naturally.
Ok, so from an 3/4 facing angle he is slightly off putting but not enough to lower the Caesar wrap from my mouth while reading the post on my lunch break. When I scrolled to the full frontal I put down the wrap in terror. Yikes.
The only remedy I think for him to ever be in public is to spray paint him an all over white (shiny or matte?) to make it feel more like a true bust? I think the muted but lifelike colors are the issue.
So for me its an all over paint or sad slow burial.
Keep him, but paint him all white.
You can’t crush Ernest Hemingway’s head with blunt force trauma…think of the writing karma in that! I say find a small table, display him proudly on the curb and video what goes on for the blog….I wanna see who takes him home to have this exact dilemma with their spouse for the next 5 years….
He has always been Hemmingway to me, too.
to me too !
He needs to go. away. somewhere dark.
Keep him out in the open — but he needs a story that defines him as not creepy
the true test – what does Charlie think of him?!
I think sell him as a charity fundraiser?!?
I’m personally not a fan, but someone will like him…make some money off that man!
Donate him, put a sticker under him with a note of, “You bought me, why? Emhendo@blahblah” Would be fun to see if someone actually emailed you and bought it.
I like this idea! I don’t mind it, but busts aren’t really my style… I’m sure SOMEONE out there would like him
Emily (and everyone who wants to know),
The Target patio set is back online for purchase.
http://m.target.com/p/threshold-carag-3-piece-sling-rope-chat-set/-/A-16368282
This post is so funny. One my favorites ever. Thank you for waking me up with a laugh!
He’s hideous, but now I love him. You must keep him …as a writing prompt …or a joke decoration at parties (I envision him in a Santa hat for Christmas or a stovepipe hat for Presidents Day). A little probably does go a very long way, so bury him deep in storage.
^^ I can see this!! he pops up in unexpected places/ situations like elf on a shelf! But then you really may get divorced. My husband feels the same way about me installing a fairy door (http://littlefairydoor.com) . I keep threatening to do it when he is out of town. I dont think he would notice…
Okay, I like the idea of it being like elf on the shelf (even though I hate the actual elf on the shelf thing) but, girl- that fairy door is creepy! 🙂
I love the Elf on the shelf comparison. Did y’all hear of whore in the drawer. Maybe he could be Man in the stand lmao
Donate – it’s time to let someone else crush on him. You’ve used him, now lose him. 🙂
He’s fine. Sell him, and someone can reference this post when they explain why they spent $$ on his creepy face.
What?!?! What’s not to LOVE!
When you had you’re other busts on the flea, I was hoping he’d be there!
Keep him, but store in a cupboard
He looks more like Bill Murray to me than James Garner, and I’ve met Bill Murray before and he’s the weirdest person alive, maybe not in a good way. I say smash him.
Even in old age James Garner was still handsome. This dude is definitely not.
Now that you’ve had your fun with him it’s time to sell (or raffle) him off. Seems like enough readers are interested.
I meant to include that I agree with the Bill Murray comparison.
Too creepy, chuck
Definitely has to go. Don’t know who would want to buy him so it’s probably easier to just donate or sacrifice in a ceremony!
Could you imagine how creepy it would be to open a cupboard only to find him in there!?
As I see it, there are 2 options:
1) Paint him white (like the comments above), I think he’d look awesome.
2) Donate. If you don’t want to keep him on display or paint him white, there is no sense in keeping him stored away. Just get rid of it! Someone else can enjoy his creepiness.
I don’t think he looks like James Garner, more like Michael Caine. Maybe you should let Brian smash him.
Get rid of him. Donate him and let him find someone who can appreciate him in all of his creepy glory.
What about spray painting him a solid color? Like gold? I did that to an ugly owl figure of mine and it is much more fabulous now.
Donate! I know someone out there would love him.
Toss or donate! Eww…
Blunt object. Definitely. Save the marriage.
♪♫ Let it go! Let it go! ♫
sell it! hopefully it will go to home where he will be a prized possession loved by all who live there.
I would keep for conversation purposes. Just consider all the history and stories you have! I love quirky and why shove him in a box someone created him lol
keep him!
Drop from a 10 story building! Too bad David Letterman isn’t around anymore.
I vote to keep it! We bought a similar piece at the Eastern Market in DC years ago! His name is Steve and almost feels like part of the family now. Quirky is fun and adds so much personality to a space. If you sell him, send him my way he will fit in with the growing collection of weird man busts we have.
Hilarious post, but you need to understand (from a former watcher of Maverick reruns) that James Garner is actually quite a handsome man. I see no resemblance here.
As to next steps: you should clearly sell, as someone will buy him. Probably. (Or use him as a present in your next white elephant gift exchange?) Painting him white would likely improve him, but it would be really odd to see a Greek emperor with a collar like that. So it would still be weird.
Now that you’ve dedicated an entire post on him and his detailed fictional personality, you kind of have to keep him, right?
I say keep in a cupboard, but continue to sneak him into photoshoots here and there, see who notices.
I say auction it off and see how much he could possibly go for lol
Yes, hammer to the dome on that guy- Office Space style. Faces/heads/mannequins and the like give me the heebie jeebies big time. The yellow tones around his eye balls really sealed the deal. And what’s the the pseudo collar he has going on?
I have so many questions and very few answers.
Yes! I meant to mention the yellow/jaundice thing going on around the eyes. That’s what makes him look a little psycho.
I Know. The yellow really HURTS the situation.
Get rid of it!
I like this creepy head! It makes nice element of decor and is reminiscent of antique and I love all antiques, especially the rugs: http://www.dorisleslieblau.com/antique-rugs
Can you just paint over him in colors that match your decor? Pick a pallet that is less “this might have actually been someone’s head at one point”…
I have a creepy head too, my friends named him Norm . He is poop brown and kind of looks like Moses or possibly Elvis. I bought him at an auction for $3. I can not part with him because he has been the topic of conversation many a time. My vote is to keep him, don’t give in to the peer pressure to destroy him! If he is worthy of a blog post, he is worthy to keep around in the open!
Put a red knit cap on him. Then probably sell him. Someone will want him just like you did. In fact if I found him at a junk store for <$10 I'd buy him.
I completely support you in continuing your relationship with the creepy man head. I don’t know how much my opinion counts, however, as I have a creepy, ethnically-ambiguous ceramic lady head that lives above the fireplace in my living room.
I feel like we’re sort of heroes for providing safe, (somewhat) loving homes for these disembodied noggins to live.
Hide semi-creepy dude somewhere in LA and create an online treasure hunt until some (un?)lucky fan finds him (or he is seized by a passerby as fate might dictate).
Put some flowers in the head
Kill two birds with one creepy head: leave it on the doorstep of the crappy friend you can’t seem to break up with. Attach a note saying something to the effect of ‘a parting gift from Emily…’
Do like a joke raffle for the readers of your blog. The winner *must* take him home. Pity he’s so heavy or we could ship him from reader to reader, sharing his magic with all, as in “Sisterhood of the Traveling Dismembered Head.” You know we all loved those movies.
He looks like he is ready to move on. I vote donate so someone else can stumble upon him.
actually i would like to propose you do something entirely different, and give all of your readers a chance to style him. basically let him go, give to a friend who styles him and posts it, then gives it to another friend who posts it.
you know, kinda like amelie!
I had forgotten about the gnomes! ♥
If I had the money I would buy this bust for sure! Please put him on the Flea so he can find a good new home.
Break with blunt objects!
eep! I vote you evict the creepy squatter. He is hip and artsy in a very eccentric way, but it just doesn’t overshadow the creepy enough.
He is creepy.
I would sell him.
Chortle chortle! I hate to say it as I think I’m quite a peaceable person but break the freaky thing!!!
I’d break or donate.
But you obviously seem to love him on some level. Could you put him in your office?
Can’t you just display him in some out-of-the-way place in your home? I have a huge old painting of a man that my husband finds super creepy. It’s been banished to our finished attic, but at least it has a home.
People either love him or hate him, so I say list him for sale on The Flea. I think I would like him better if he was painted white.
He’s famous now, somebody WILL buy him! (come to think of it, maybe I could use a head with a story in my house?)
I actually…. kind of love it??? I’d put that in my house, absolutely. sell it. Depending on how much it’s listed for, I know one person with two thumbs who’s interested.
(me. it’s me. I’m interested.)
Donate!
Give him to me! I’m all about “whimsy” and by that I mean creeping people out with my decor. I may or may not have my old dental molds on my mantel in my formal living room.
He kinda looks like David Hasselhoff, with a beard. Like as an extra from Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou?
It’s the eyes lacking color that make it so creepy. But I kinda like him.
But if you’re kinda “eh” on him, and Brian hates him, then it’s a no-brainer, you gotta get rid of him.
Put him on sale “as-is”, and see if anyone wants to give Hoff a home. If not, then do the ritualistic murder. Just remember to take pics. OR VIDEO! Of a GIF!
All I ask is that if you do bust him up, please video and post his destruction here. . .
I’m wasting WAY too much time “where’s waldo”-ing him in the SFAS photo archive. And I still looking…
I once had to build a bust like this in one of my college art classes. I barely knew the model and it felt really weird to keep it in my house after that. So, I walked out on my favorite walking trail and hid him up in a tree in the woods so that he would stare down at people. He disappeared really quickly, but the thought of him up in that tree, while he was still in it, made me laugh. (He showed up in one of my neighbors yards years later, ha!)
Leah Faye
I don’t mind him. And he kiiiiinda looks like my husband… so, go me? But if you are over him I would break things off in a ceremonious manner, like take him to Spain with you and throw him into a bullfighting arena.
Perhaps drown him in Pernod?
My husband had this INSANE piece of pottery that an art major friend made for him. It was hideous. We went to the top floor of his apartment building and threw it down the garbage chute together. It was like therapy. (breaking things is underrated)
This head needs a similar burial: literally or figuratively.
Team Brian on this one…
Get rid ASAP. demolish. 🙂
Give him to Charlie to play with, and see what happens. Maybe he’ll end up in a new color palette, maybe he’ll end up smashed. Either way, it’s sort of up to fate.
Is a shot of white spray paint not an option? I feel like he’d be kinda fun/less creepy minus the color…
I like him. I like that he creeps me out a little. I love his colouring, and that he reminds me of Hemingway. I would absolutely pay 10 bucks for him and proudly display him in my home. My husband, on the other hand, said there’s no way in hell that thing is coming into our house!
1) I 2nd the Michael Caine resemblance.
2) I LOVE that you had to add a footnote just in case someone misunderstood your humor. It’s a sad world.
3) NEVER underestimate what people will pay money for!!!! SELL IT!
I’d like to see that snapchat story
sell! he is creepy and majestic. let someone else love and fear for him awhile.
I kind of weirdly like him. He’s interestingly odd.
he looks like a middle aged Justin Timberlake, only this jaundiced guy is an alternate universe, british-accented version.
I vote for smashing it to bits.
No question, demolish him.
EEEKKK! I do NOT like him. All the heebie jeebies happening. I would not want to see him…anywhere…
The fact that he even exists does not settle well with me. If it were possible to cast a spell and just have him *poof*, gone from this Earth, that would be my vote. On second thought, if it were possible to cast spells, I’d be too busy getting myself a bigger ass and more clothes to be bothered with the head 🙂
We love you too much for this head to come alive and kill you in your sleep.
P.S. I’m very anti negative internet comments (like hello people, be nice!), but since it’s about a non-human object, that you aren’t convinced you like, hopefully disses on the head are okay? Also, we were supposed to be all melodramatic, take this head situation ridiculously “seriously”, right?!?!
xo
He is deeply unsettling – as if he’s trapped in there – and needs to be set freeeee from his pale, waxy-looking coil.
OMG “deeply unsettling”! EXACTAFREAKINGLY!!!!!
And shoot…now that you point out that he looks trapped in there, I feel sorta bad for the guy. Still completely terrified, but with some pity mixed in.
Yes. Break him open to set him free! But now the thought of that creeps me out too!
I say paint him white or black, or yellow, or any solid color to make him look more like a classical bust, The creepiest part is his coloring which makes him look half dead/half alive. So, keep but paint!
dispose of
Sell! cause i want him!
For all the people who want to paint him,
Am I wrong in thinking he’s been hanging around because of his pastel tones? His colors jive with the seascapes Emily is into and his size is shelf friendly.
I say keep him around for shoots but maybe not in your own home. He’s a neat pal to have in the background.
But when your kids are teens they’ll tease you about him if he hangs in your house much longer.
I love him. LOVE HIM. Give him to me, lol.
I think it’s good to have a few things in your house that are strange. It keeps it from looking too much like an HGTV magazine shoot. If Brian REALLY hates him, he might need to go, though. Don’t smash him, please! He’s too great!
Sell! Make money from the hideous and creepy.
I really really want you to keep him OR give him to me! I find him charming, in a 70’s-denim shirt open to the navel-hairy chest kind of way. Or, he could be a sailor of some sort, enjoying his few weeks ashore after a long ocean voyage or deep-sea fishing.
Now, to be fair, I just bought a painting at the Treasure Island Flea of a clown with a very large obtrusive eye that seems to follow me (and my cats) around the room. So, perspective.
It’s different, weird, quirky and funny, which is just like you (and all meant in a good way) so I would hold onto it. Who knows, your kids may really be mad if you give it away…just like my mom did with all of my dolls of the world, collected from gas stations, remember those? Anyway, KEEP it!
chuck that chuck
Why would you throw away such an awesome conversation starter? I’m all for the weird and wacky, it keeps things interesting!
Would spray painting it white make it less creepy and more grecian? It might be worth a try before obliterating it with a sledgehammer!
Definitely needs to go. You’ve got the designer’s equivalent of beer goggles on at the moment. One day you’ll wake up, shake your head and say ‘Wow. Why?!’
I too love heads, hands, arms, bodies…….
I say totally keep him! He’s funky and interesting and a good conversation piece. Just the fact that your hubby hates him so much is a good reason to keep him around- the piece obviously generates strong feelings, which is a good thing. Better to have weird, cool, vintage stuff that stirs up healthy debate than totally bland stuff that you could get anywhere. Isn’t that the essence of Emily Henderson style anyways? 🙂
Keep him out in the open! I like him. I don’t know why, but I do.
donate
He looks nothing like James Garner. But he’s a dead ringer for Stacey Keach.
SMASH HIS FACE!
“the homeowners pretty much threw him at my car after we wrapped that episode” crying of laughter.
I see the Bill Murray A BIT in his Life Aquatic role. Maybe put a red fisherman cap on him and take it from there?
The answer is obvious: you must launch a national search for a guy who looks like it, for only he is the true rightful owner of this thing.
I say, go “Office Space” on his creepy head. But throw in a little EH flair, for good measure.
He needs glasses.
Then sell or keep for occasional horrifying.
Paint him Matte white and keep him OR get rid of him NOW!!!!
Sell him to me. LOVE him.
He looks like the less attractive brother of the sea captain in The Ghost and Mrs. Muir. The 1949 or so version not some later remake. I would be concerned about bad karma to just break him, so make it seem like an accident or sell.
KEEP him. why not? i think he looks cool perched up on these shelves. maybe you can look for a woman to go with him? maybe then Brian won’t be so jeals?
you should adopt him, give him a name, and include him in all family photo shoots. You could make a game out of it, (where’s Waldo, or whatever you name him). There are all sorts of ideas for Halloween, (peering from around a door with the caption “Here’s Johnny!”
Can I be honest? Have you ever seen a cadaver? One time in art school, our figure drawing class was allowed to go to the medical school to check out the jointed skeleton. Some of us snuck in another room and discovered several cadavers laid out on stretchers. And they were THAT COLOR OF YELLOW. And that is why your man totally creeps me out. He also looks like he’s carved out of cheese, and that’s gross too.
I think you should keep him.
My husband made the bust of a Giants baseball player for a sculpture class in college and he keeps it at work and puts hats on it… and maybe I’m just creepy, but I really wish it was in our house! Although, the one he made is just white. Yours is colored which makes it strangely realistic. Like a young Sean Connery. Keep him!
He gots to go! TIme to sell/donate that old fella.
I vote to keep him! Love the thought of him randomly appearing in posts and magazines and such. Like a creepy man head Where’s Waldo.
Ok I really love the guy. I’m happily married but would kind of like him hanging out with us. You know maybe just sitting in the background watching tv with me. I guess he is slightly creepy but he’s not a creeper. Don’t hurt him for heavens sake, now that WOULD be creepy.
bahahaha! He looks like Burt Reynolds from those Smokey and The Bandit movies! He’s creepy because it’s a head. It’s the story that makes me say keep him, but he is ” aesthetically displeasing”…sorry Burt.
Yes! Burt is who I thought of, too.
I say do a GIVEAWAY! That is one-of-a-kind stuff, there. Think of all the happiness you could give to one lucky and kinda crazy reader.
I think it’s creepy. BUT But but SOMEONE in the world would want him for some odd/whatever reason. Actually, maybe someone local in the film industry would want to use him for a prop in a B-rated horror movie. But if someone actually needed him, they might be desperate and you can get karma points by DONATING him.
Either a smash it or
B put a red beanie on him like life aquatic and mail to Bill Murray!!
This post had me crying from laughing the minute I read the title. Amazing.
Maybe move him on to someone else who is ready to totally commit.
Just wait until your little ones start creating….I kept cheetah man for years until, by divine intervention, he/it crumbled. Yay! Oh, and yes I have “spam”colored skin also. Made me chuckle.
BURN HIMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
I vote to SELL. You don’t really love him, but I bet there’s someone out there (somewhere), who would.
I say spray paint him in a pretty good, silver, black, or white color. Maybe try to faux marble him with paint too if you’re feeling feisty. He just needs a wee update and some love.
You could even try to carefully cut off the top part of him after painting him and turn him into a planter. He’d make a cute planter.
Gold not good. Oh I dislike you so autocorrect.
donate
aak
🙂
He’s creepy. I say it’s time to let him go. Pretty sure the only reason you don’t realize that he is a creeper is because he is painted so pastel-y. Hasta la vista!
I am usually into portraits, busts, etc. but this guy is a little creepy. Kind of like a neighbor that might peak over his hedge at you while your sun bathing. I say donate him, because as we know, to each his own.
Oh, Emily! You CAN’T smash him to pieces, he’s so memorable. I feel like we’ve followed him along on his design journey. I imagine a lot of Emily-holics (EmHendoPhiles? What do we call ourselves? Why don’t we have a team name yet?) would pay just to have a piece that’s so recognizable. Put him on flea. Heck, price it high if it’s hard to see him go. See who bids, then bid him adieu.
If you love something set it free, if he comes back to you it was meant to be 😉 let the man continue his journey and give him to someone.
so in that first photo, where you’re looking at him sideview, he’s totally bill murray. and yet, in the last photo…he’s the csi guy, you know who i’m talking about? i’m not sure if that makes him creepy, chameleon, or cool.
b
Aside from the fact that he looks like a Chuck Norris doppelgänger, I say chuck it. Pun intended.
I think the current paint job is what makes him look creepy despite the color palette being pleasing (just not on a person).
if you painted him white or a bronze, he would look more classical and almost like a bust of a Greek/Roman God.
of course, the styling would change if he were white or bronze, but it might be a way to save him! if re-painting/glazing/dip in hot inexpensive metal/whatever process needs to be used to turn him white or Bronze fails, then donate or smash to pieces.
alternatively, repaint him to look like a creepy Halloween decoration.
I think he looks like Nick Offerman from Parks and Rec. Keep! Too fun to let go!
Set that guy flea!
I just think you’d be sad if you got rid of him. I say keep him, in a closet, and force him on your kids one day. He’ll always be a conversation starter.
He’s totally awesome!! But if I saw him sitting on a shelf at goodwill I think he would look very different. If you’re not sure, you still have feelings for him.
Well, now there is a story. People will want him! Like, dudes who wouldn’t be creeped out by a dude staring at them.
I want him, but can’t think of a place where he wouldn’t be spooky.
Quirky things are the best.
Sell it! You have had it for 5 years. Brian hates it. Time to find something else.
🙂
Definitely bludgeon. I think he’s definitely leaning toward the creepy side.
paint him black with gold hair and see what happens!
Quick – get rid of him while you have the strength. He’s jaundice. The color palette is okay, but not for any kind of humanoid – fake or not. You can easily find something else in an organic shape and pleasing palette. I do think the ‘getting rid of’ includes permanent damage to him…I wonder if he’s like some other guys I know and you’ll find his head is empty where there should have been a brain. 😀 Enjoy. (p.s. I do agree with those who think you should save the destruction of him as a favor to your hubby…why do it any sooner?)(p.p.s. Once gone, name him CHUCK post mortem)
don’t care how you do it, but you’ve got to get rid of this guy. i can see how it’s kinda totally your style, but i feel for your husband. if my husband brought something home for the house that i didn’t like, it better be gone pronto. on second thought, maybe you can create a post that will go viral trying to link the sculpture to the actual person that modeled for it (assuming someone did) and then gift it to him. 🙂
wait… leaving him in a park/on the sidewalk/tucked into a bush someplace isn’t an option!?
Emily, this head is a really bad rendition of Burt Reynolds. You need to listen to Brian and get rid of him on the Flea immediately!!!
I meant get rid of the head, not Brian 🙂 He is a keeper, for sure.
Def KEEP!!
If you do smash it, or let Brian do it (now that’s love), please make a video and post! Or if selling with your email for someone to justify the purchase, please share! I’m invested in his fate now and need to know!
I would suggest you keep it for a time Brian has an awful day, then you can pull him out and hand Brian a hammer or any blunt object of your choosing. So you could relieve yourself of the head and your man gets to release some frustration, win win for both of you!
Funny sh!t Mrs. Em! Although I’m totally on the creepy side, I don’t think you should smash him… and yet, can you sell him for actual money? Hmm, no. I think you should have a raffle and gift him to the reader who loves him the mostest!!
It’s definitely time to “break” up with him.
Consider use as a decoration in the exterior of your home, such as in flowerbeds or in a collection of gnomes. Or take it to a local pond or stream, then place it at the edge of the water, with a small fishing pole.
Donate to a thrift … some college student will find him cool in a ‘ha ha’ way. Personally I hope to live out the rest of my days never seeing him again.
Omg, you CAN’T get rid of it. There’s too much of a story and, c’mon, don’t you want him lurking in the background of Charlie’s life?
My husband is a (video) gamer, with a plastic head of master-chief he likes to keep on display. Um, no. So I keep hiding it in creepy places. As much as I hate that thing, it’s way more fun than throwing him away.
I’m with the group that thinks the colors are bad. Maybe painted white or gold? Or dipped half white/half gold? Anything that creates this much passionate conversation must either be kept or destroyed ceremoniously. Or given to someone who loves him I guess. Oh I don’t know what I would do…..
Keep him out but only showing his profile.
I like him okay, but breaking him just sounds so enticing. BREAK HIM AND FILM IN SLOW-MO.
Haha! I say if he makes you happy, keep him. I would find it slightly startling every time I saw him when I walked in the room though! Kind of like when you forget that you got your hair dyed for the first couple weeks!
Paige
http://thehappyflammily.com
Keep in the open! I have a John Wayne bust lamp that I will keep forever but currently has to be stored behind closed doors because he scares me in the middle of the night.
I’m shocked that destroying him is even an option! Don’t destroy him I will cry. Who else has a pastel bust (head) of a bearded man? He’s awesome and cheeky. If it were me, I would keep him out in the open, but since your not in love and shipping would cost a fortune due to his weight problem, I would donate. Someone will definitely love and cherish him.
Ugly yellow jaundiced head. Throw. In.
Trash.Now.
Just do it.
Spread chia seeds on him, water and watch him grow! Ch, ch,ch, Chia!
That IS a smokey alternative to Emily’s bedside table.
He’s creepy but definitely a conversation piece.
SELL HIM TO ME! I WILL LOVE HIM FOREVER!
Destroy, he’s hideous and in seriously poor taste!!!
fugly. donate. stat.
All I ask is that whoever winds up with him gets him to a liver specialist stat.
This post is cracking me up…you can’t give him up now. He reminds me of Mike Brady’s head, you know the one Carol sculpted & Alice whacked. Just call him Mr. Brady. ????
Can’t you spray paint him gold? Then he might be cooler.
Pretend to DIY him in a new color scheme, giving yourself a change for final redemption, and then smash him in an artistic fit of rage if it all doesn’t work out
Hot pink spray paint?
He needs to go bye-bye. Way too creepy for me.
Keep him. Glue his collar back on. Spray him glossy white and then you can call him Bill Murray’s stunt double…
Emily!
He loves you, how could you hide him away? I can almost hear his deep, clear baritone singing to you of his plaster love all the way from my house, he’s fabulous! So macho even your husband is unnerved by his manly man-ness! And so handsome! If he were a painting, he’d be by California Impressionist Franz Bischoff.
Have you a name for him other than ‘Creepy?’ I’d call him ‘Ernest My Love,’ after Hemingway if he were mine. SWOON!
Step 1. Toss it in the outside trash.
Step 2. Take the trash to the curb.
Step 3. Celebrate with a bathtub size cup of coffee when you hear the trash man pull away.
Bye bye creepy man!
soooo ugly. has to die.
I was laughing so hard I was in tears reading this post! Please keep the creepy head! 🙂
When are you going to find another creepy head like this? Will you miss creepy head guy when he’s gone? If you have the answer to those questions, you already know the answer to keep, sell, donate or destroy…
I think the dog in the painting is silently judging the weird man head. I would love to see a video of you smashing him in an over-the-top ritualistic ceremony. Hilarious!
I like him!!! Keep him…….
Sell!
Keep him.
He’s a writer. He sails.
There are so many sketchy heads out there–he’s innocuous. It’s not like he’s a freaking clown head.
**disclaimer: I have no idea how jaundiced he really is. Maybe he’s too yellow in real life?
If you love him, let him….GO!
Ummmm . . . can’t believe this wasn’t an option – BRONZE him! Give him the respect and bling he deserves 😉 He’ll match the decor!
LOL! He’s awful, in an awesome student-art kinda way. Sometimes ridiculous cannot be thrown away – for instance, I have Fabio’s album “When Somebody Loves Somebody”. I don’t listen to it, but how could I throw something so mind-blowing away? For the record, it was given to us with a large, random collection of cd’s from a record producer. No money was spent on such a thing. In other news, I like how your legs match the sofa – it reminds me of how I agonized over a new swimsuit color (what makes me less pale?) and my choice of blue made sure that I was not only the exact same color as the bottom of the pool (cold, dead, white), but that I also exactly matched the pool’s blue trim. Well done, me.
I love him so much… I would make tiny hats and eye patches for him. Give him a name and never let him go.
Store him in the freezer
I think he’s awesome! I would love to buy him.
Blunt object while both of you dance and sing.
I agree with some of the other comments- spray paint him white and if you don’t like him after that- lay down the hammer (literally!).
I think I like the man head. Perhaps he would look better covered in that gold spray paint you used on your cabinet pulls. A shiny gold man head seems like it might be more appealing. Then cover it with a light coating of white with a little distressing to show the gold beneath. A ” mdiamond in the rough” kinda guy. Then if you don’t like it, let Charlie use it as a squirt gun target.
Enjoying your blog,
Rita Seymour
He looks like Ernest Hemingway. Keep him!
Love him! Keep
I kind of love it so my vote is send him to meeeeeeeee!
Looks to me like a sculpture student project from college. Let Brian ceremonially destroy him. He’s not THAT awful, but the glee I imagine Brian would have in the project outweighs any reason to keep him!
I love him. Keep or sell. He may not be a prince, but he is charming.
I have a similar bust,he is carved from wood. Mine is currently hiding in the garage. Can’t deciide what to do with him either.
He kind of reminds me of ‘the most interesting man in the world’. You know, the guy that wouldn’t make small talk about the weather, even in a tornado. Maybe Dos Equis would take him?