There has been another man in my life for a few years – 5 to be exact … and Brian HATES him. I actually don’t even love him, but I can’t seem to get rid of him. Like that mediocre friend that you should kinda break-up with, but instead end up stringing along for years just by grabbing coffee or drinks with them every 6 months, because they nag you enough and it’s easier to do that then to dodge their hang-out requests? That is this guy, the head sculpture, above.
I have a thing for heads, certainly, that started out in the normal ‘bust’ category (a perfectly respectable thing to collect), but quickly moved into studio art of creepy strangers – a less ‘classy’ obsession. Let this be a lesson to you – life is really just one big slippery slope. This guy, who we strangely never named, but who looks a lot like James Garner, has been hard to let go of because he’s not creepy enough. I had some weeping baby heads for a while and yeah, those were creepy. But he is in a pleasant color palette and looks like he might be a cool dude. Like you might go to his house for a BBQ, where he starts drinking inappropriately early and knows a lot of references to obscure comedies, like ‘Strange Brew’. He also might be someone who you want to keep your children away from, it’s hard to tell.
The background: I first used him on my show, Secrets From a Stylist, and the homeowners pretty much threw him at my car after we wrapped that episode. They were NOT into him. So, fine, I took him home where I put him in storage because I got sick of people being like, ‘who is THAT?’ all the time.
I pulled him out a few years ago and styled him on a shelf for a shoot, where he lasted a week before Brian’s jealousy reared its ugly head and he made me shove him back in a cupboard.
I actually can’t believe I moved houses with him – he’s REALLY heavy. But low and behold he showed up last year in a shoot for Matchbook:
He’s just back there, checking me out. Wondering why my legs are the EXACT color of the sofa.
As we were deciding what to sell on The Flea and what to keep, I thought, this guy? Am I ready to let him go? Would anybody else really want him? Do I want him? And if I don’t then why do I still have him? And as we took the time to decide he slowly got more and more damaged to the point that his collar is practically hanging on by a string and selling him might not be even worth the wrapping/shipping time.
Then last week I Instagrammed a photo with him in it, and all y’all really gave your opinions on that man, which made me think – let’s waste a post on him.
Let’s let our collective love, like, dislike, or hate be his fate.
So, I figured I’d ask all of you: Do we keep this not so ugly, but still kinda creepy sculpture of a strange man’s head around or do we get rid of it?
You decide. It’s poll time:
Keep him out in the open
Keep him, but store in a cupboard
Break with blunt objects in a ritualistic ceremony, thus ending my relationship with him permanently, while glueing my marriage back together at the same time. OOH, we could snapchat it. Snapchat is super good for marriages, I hear.
Eh? Now vote!
*In case the humor isn’t translating, there obviously is no jealousy or marital issues surrounding this head. Now the photos of my ex-boyfriend that I have plastered on my walls? Those are a bit trickier 🙂 testtest