Well. Our family is expanding, again, and we are not getting a pet chinchilla if you know what I mean. I’m pregnant!!! With another human little baby, and we are all VERY excited. Ecstatic, really. Well, Charlie doesn’t quite get it yet. He’s just a bit confused why mommy is taking afternoon naps – or at least trying to, and he’s so excited that he gets 10 minutes of Sesame Street when I’m desperate. And I get desperate – man, around 4pm that TV box thing is pretty magical with kids, right?
Let’s go through the frequently asked questions:
Was it planned? Lets just say this: we know how to prevent a pregnancy and we weren’t doing that. Getting pregnant with Charlie was a bit tricky. It took 16 months of trying before it was successful. Near the end of that 16 months our fertility specialist broke the news that some of our tests came back proving that getting pregnant naturally could be difficult. Little did any of us know, that I was actually pregnant when we were having that conversation. Thank god. So when we started talking about it this time Brian and I decided to give it a year of trying naturally before we had to go into the ‘IVF’ world. I have friends in that world and it’s a hard one to live in. So, we wanted to give ourselves ample time to try. Not having to try for a year is truly a gift. Trying is THE WORST. We were shocked, ecstatic and felt extremely lucky that it happened faster this time. Well, I didn’t really celebrate yet. If you’ve ever had a miscarriage (ours was at 10 weeks last time), you know that you aren’t really out of the woods til you have an ultrasound with a healthy heartbeat, so once that happened (7 weeks) we breathed a huge sigh of relief. And THEN I was just so excited. Charlie and this little one will be 22 months apart, which is pretty darn close and we may have a few years of insanity, but as if it’s not obvious, we love this parenting thing so we are extremely excited to do it again.
How am I feeling? Let me put it this way: if ‘The First Trimester’ were to run for president I wouldn’t vote for it. I would take 2nd or 3rd ANY day – in fact I might campaign against The First, just so it doesn’t win. I don’t like how it governs both my emotions and my body. I can’t complain as much as so many people who puke all day during the first few months, but this time around I’ve felt more nauseous and tired, emotional and depleted of all energy around 3pm. Here’s how the day goes: I sleep as long as possible – til Charlie wakes up. I skip a workout because I’m nauseous and then go to work where I’m pretty normal the first 5 hours. I eat A LOT. OF CARBS. It’s the only way I can not be nauseous. P.S. carbs are delicious, folks – Pad Thai, Chicken Tikka Masala, Spaghetti with meatballs – these are my cravings and you can see it on my body. Around 3pm I feel like I have a brick in the middle of my head. It’s not a headache, it just feels so heavy that I have to put my head down and it blocks all intellectual thought.
I sometimes try to fight through it, but often I just come home to lay down and then the second that Charlie goes to bed I crawl into bed, read 8 pages of a book, and am asleep by 8:30pm with the intent to wake up at 5am to work, but never can because the first trimester demands like 17 hours of sleep a day.
Please don’t read this as if I don’t want to be doing it, it’s just not my favorite of the trimesters. For those of you who haven’t gone through it yet here’s my latest pregnancy metaphor:
Getting pregnant (if you want to) is like someone has booked your fantasy vacation for you, and while you don’t know where you are going or how great it will be, you are told by everyone that it will be AMAZING so you say, ‘screw it, lets just do this’ and you pack your bags. But the flight is REALLY, really, really, REALLY, long. For the first part of the flight you are sitting in this tiny seat in the back of the plane, by the bathroom that smells so bad, with no legroom, no reading material, and a lot of jolting. You are pretty uncomfortable and nauseous – not in terrible pain or anything, you just can’t ever shift to get comfortable. But you still really want to get to your destination badly so you hang in there and try to sleep through it. Then after a while you feel a tap on your shoulder as they move you to business class and its wonderful. People are nice to you, you can stretch out, you aren’t sick any more, etc. Sure, you can’t have the free champagne, but other than that the second trimester (I found), is kinda great. You watch hours of TV and fly through Post apocalyptic YA series. Then towards the end (third trimester) they move you to first class and the real excitement begins. You know that the vacation is close, so you just lay back and milk the good service and pretty much get whatever you want. But that is VERY short-lived, and during the decent they move you to sit in the tiny bathroom for the remainder of the flight which feels like forever (this is the last month) and you feel disgusting and claustrophobic and just so uncomfortable. You just keep telling yourself This better be worth it. This better be worth it. Meanwhile your partner has been sitting in FIRST class the entire time, laying down in one of those pod seats, marathoning Mad Men, flirting with the flight attendant, drinking free artisan cocktails, eating hot nuts and just waiting for their ‘FREE’ baby.
Then … just as you can smell the ocean air and you can see your beachside villa out the lavatory window, you have a rocky, terrifying landing full of such turbulence that you are all sure you are going to die. But you don’t. And then all of a sudden you land. And everyone is safe and relieved. And you get to your destination and its even more magical than you could have ever fantasized. Everyone was right. It was worth it. You are so happy that you actually slowly forget all the discomfort of the entire plane ride and would even happily volunteer to do it again.
That’s how pregnancy is for me. It’s different for everyone, I know. Some like the entire 9 months and some hate the entire 9 months and muster through it. For me it’s a combo.
Right now I’m still in the ‘uncomfortable back of the plane’ portion of the trip, waiting to get the tap from the flight attendant to say that I’m moved up to Business Class. Although it should be noted that I went to bed on Saturday night at 10pm. TEN. Like an actual grown up. And yesterday I had more energy than I have in weeks, so I’m thinking that tap will come soon.
The second pregnancy is already so much better mainly because I know what I get – I know how magical that vacation will be. I know how worth it it is. Besides I’m way busier with Charlie and the business which keeps me distracted. It’s going faster, and while my hormones are stupid and irrational, and I feel incredibly bloated, I know that its temporary and I’ll get through it. Man, hormones are a bitch, right? I would say ‘Poor Brian’, but he’s already in First Class, watching The Fast and The Furious series and wiping his hands wastefully on hot towels over and over again. Ok, fine, to be fair to him he’s actually been awesome – taking Charlie a lot (yesterday I went to yoga and a massage) and buying me endless amounts of pink berry.
Oh and you show a lot more, way faster, the second time around. Let’s face it, I hadn’t exactly gotten rid of my pooch so when Brian was like ‘Wow, you are showing so much more this time!’ I thought to myself Well, I’ve kinda been showing for 16 months now…. Only now I can actually wear fitted clothes to show it off.
Boy or girl? We would be happy with either. The idea of two boys, ages 2 and 4, sounds scary but also VERY fun and in a lot of ways I picture myself a mom of boys. Besides, we have one and he’s awesome and I know how to do ‘boy’ already. But we both want the chance to have a little girl and I don’t know if we’ll go for three kids, so yeah … a girl would be pretty welcome. We’ll let you know soon (this week!!!!!).
So it’s on. At least a few times a day I remember that I’m pregnant and I get a burst of serotonin and excitement. I look at baby photos of Charlie and get so excited to have another little one … probably because he was mellow and while I’m pretty sure you don’t get two mellow babies in a row, we are bracing ourselves for a different experience. But totally grateful for whatever little personality we get lucky to have.
October 21st, folks. It’s all happening … Inside my quickly growing belly 🙂 Wish us luck.
*Thanks, Jessica for snapping these new photos of us.