Brian woke up in a super bad mood yesterday.  Totally Grumpy McGrumperstons.  He told me it was because he had a dream that he and i were headed off on our vacation (one that i promised we would take) but whilst on the plane i asked the flight attendant if i could move seats to sit away from him so i could get more work done.

(photo by Ray Katchiatorian)

Look how sad he is.  You know when you have a dream that is so upsetting that you can’t help but be upset for the first half of your day? That’s how he was.  I kept thinking at least i wasn’t cheating on him in his dream, but in a way its just so close to home and so real that it was way more upsetting for him and me.  I mean, who dreams about being ignored???

It’s so weird because i’m very much not a workaholic.  I didn’t think.  But when it comes to the fun stuff (conceputalizing, shopping, blogging) I would prefer doing it over almost anything else.  Sure, i’m not dying to invoice or tape receipts, but i could pinterest all night .

Champagne problems, i know.  So we can’t stay in at night because i’ll just sit on my computer all night long. But while out to dinner this is what happens:

Brian, “whatcha thinking about?”

Me:  “Whether the mirror in the lake house should go vertical or horizontal – vertical is easier in a lot of ways, we just have to lean it – but it is really tall and wide and would be pretty amazing horizontal, too, and would absolutely command the room – but its 200 pounds so hanging it has to be done professionally and its a commitment.  And if we hang it horizontal then we probably don’t need a credenza or buffet underneath it BUT it would make the room longer in a way, so maybe we put it in the tv nook where there isn’t a lot of light to bring life into that area of the room.”

(from domino, not the house)

Or last night it was:

Brian, ‘whatcha thinking about?’

Me: ‘i’m not sure what lamp shade would look best on the wig-head lamp.  A white rectangle makes it more modern, but part of me wants to do it in navy or hot pink to match her lips – but at the same time they need more light and darker linen shades always create less light AND i’d have to special order them which would take longer because i’d like to finish the installation sooner and we are out of money’.

I’m such a fun date.

We’ll go to the movies and unless it involves Ryan Gosling, OR beautiful teenagers almost kissing and probably being vampires, then i don’t really even see it.  My eyes are open, but I may as well not be there because all i’m thinking about is whether i should recommend splurging on the Madeline Weinrib rug for $1500 or saving a ton of money and buying the West Elm for $200 on sale right now.  One is more superior but also 7 times the price….

So we had plans to get out of the country over the holidays and go to Guatemala, Cuba, Panama or Nicaragua to distract me.  You know, places where we don’t know how to cross the street or order the food. Where every second is interesting and we are exhausted at the end of the day and we create memories we’ll never forget.

Us in Laos, above. Caving below:

hanging in Vietnam:

We normally are lucky enough to fly on standby passes from Brian’s EXTREMELY generous handsome, funny and smart uncle who was a pilot for a long time, but all the flights are totally full over the holidays and our plan is failing quickly.  And my January is sooooo crazy right now with 5 houses to work on (one a total reno outside of New York), 4 out of town speaking engagements (Alt Summit, COME!!!, Atlantasmart COME!! and two privates).   Plus the book, product lines, etc.  Oh and we are moving into a three bedroom and that place isn’t going to decorate itself.  And then we start shooting probably in february which is a 60 hour a week job.

Plus i must paintball:

Why am i telling you all of this?

Normally i think its totally annoying when people talk about how busy they are, its like ‘yep, i know, most of the world is, too’. It’s just uninteresting and kinda bragging. But I’m trying to rationalize something.  I’m making a case.  Keep reading.

The amount of things i have to be grateful for is enormous right now.  I don’t think i’ve ever been happier. Seriously.

But

I love my husband more than my blog.

There. I said it.

It makes me terribly sad that i’ve overextended myself to the point of prioritizing my work over him.  It’s weird because i don’t feel not close to him at all, but if he doesn’t feel close to me, then its true. Dudes don’t really bull sh*t when it comes to talking about their feelings, they aren’t exactly begging for ‘a talk’ unless they really need one.

So i need to scale something back and the blog is the only thing that i’m not really obligated to do.  So here’s the question:  Would you rather have me write all the content but post less (like 2-3 times a week) OR get dope-*ss people to write for the blog twice a week – bloggers who’s voice, personality, writing and talent i love?  The blogs that i check everyday and have for years. The blogs that who i think are influential, entertaining and relevant? And never ever, ever, ever, cheesy.

I would never dilute the blog with randoms, i promise – but if it was the same cast of characters, and people who you know with totally interesting perspectives and great design ideas, would you be into it?  I’m talking Bri, Jen, Nat, Morgan, Joy (wait, she just had a baby, probably too busy), Orlando…. you get the idea.  It’ll be full of snark, wit, happiness and taste.

I’ve considered just posting less, but now it is a business that gives me a sense of security that i don’t want to neglect.  Its too important to me.

I promise to post personally 2-3 times a week, but they would be more thought out and all original posts, like i used to – less phoned in.  And then 2 times a week you get to hang out with my friends?

And then i get to hang out with Brian.  And work on my EFFING dollhouse.  (FEBRUARY 1st due date, i know, i’m so sorry. i’m totally ashamed of myself and i’ve been punishing myself enough so please forgive me).

And also I could enjoy the christmas tree that Brian bought and decorated by himself yesterday. I mean, shame on me for not decorating my own tree.  I suck.   Its the cutest, sweetest thing i’ve ever ever seen.  I’m going to add some touches, and i’ll post pics, i promise.

So, friends, are you with me? Will you stop reading? Or will you be happier that the posts re better – more original content and more diversity?