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Monday Stomach. Nothing like waking up with anxiety.

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Ladies and Gentlemen i’ve had the extreme fortune to be blessed with anxiety the last couple days.  I know, what a gift! I used to hear about anxiety and it never made sense to me, i remember thinking, ‘you know everything is going to be ok, so why stress so unneccessarily? Just relax!’  And then one day, 8 years ago, the day before my first huge catalog job (that i was frankly not ready for in many ways) i woke up with it and was all, ‘sh*t, are you kidding me?’ my stomach was just turning and turning and my skin felt like it was crawling.  I felt overwhelmingly unprepared and like i couldn’t even think.  It’s really hard to rationalize and it truly doesn’t make sense, but it exists, oh yes it does. 

Anyway, Secrets is almost done shooting. I have one more episode next week and then we go straight into the 10 day holiday special in which the house is dauntingly large, and we are  re-doing it per usual, but then adding a ton of holiday decorating styling tips.  And i’m having serious stylist block.  It’s happened a couple times before with the clients whose styles or houses are tricky – its just harder to ‘see’ how it should come together.  But its never happened this bad, where i’m just trolling for inspiration online and coming up empty and then panicking.  I can’t seem to find that jumping off point – sometimes its a picture, sometimes a wallpaper or an amazing piece of furniture, but right now we are two weeks away and i haven’t purchased one thing for this huge house.  Trouble. 

i had it last week for two days but i thought it was because we had shot 10 days in a row, so i made myself take the weekend off and now i feel even more behind and my stomach won’t shut up.  I just want to go to bed and hope that tomorrow i wake up normal.  SOOOO annoying.  

SO, i need holiday tip suggestions.  Or holiday style suggestions.  What would you guys love to see from a secrets holiday special?  Mantles, trees, tabletop, gift wrapping….something more sophisticated or something more fun? 

Meanwhile i’m obsessed with this wallpaper.  My parents had something similar to this when i was little. And with that leather headboard? ridic.  From the latest (and great) Lonny Mag

That wood wall is helping a bit.  Also from Lonny.  

Leave comments please! I know its hard to think about the holidays right now, trust me, but my little brain is coming up dry.  Oh and if you have any anti-anxiety home remedies, do share. 

Luckily the bachelorette and Design Star are both on tonight, so if i can make it through the day i have a good night to look forward to.  

 

Fin Mark
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