In case you were suffering from anxiety over whether Pre-Brian Jr. (name pending) doesn’t have any leather moccasins yet, you can stop taking your Xanax. I done bought some for him this weekend at the flea market. I, too, was upset, but now we can all go back to being worried about whether or not they make bow-ties small enough for 2 day old infants — because America’s infant boys have been suffering too long from the bow-tie famine. It must be stopped.

Also, I bought this hat, mainly to put in a shelf, and also to really to solidify the existence of the crazy lady inside of me. $15 from the flea market and worth every penny.

Perhaps I’m trying to be more like this chick — my new painting for $20. Brian just really loves this one. He practically wept with joy when I showed it to him. In fact, he said, “Emily, I want you to know that you don’t need to buy me a 35th birthday present or even a 40th birthday present. This painting is a gift that will keep on giving. I just love it so very, very much.”

You’re welcome.

And then before any weekend is complete one must buy a strangely shaped sectional for $80. You better believe some fringe is going on the bottom of that peach mother. Fig House, here it comes.

Must run. Please enjoy the thought of the leather moccasins all day … and baby suspenders. I hope he likes the musical “Newsies” because I’m pretty sure that’s going to be his “everyday look, ” a modern version OF COURSE. Please.