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How to Spoil your Baby Mama on Mothers Day

As the world’s unpaid spokesperson for the sacred holiday that is “Mothers Day” it’s my firm belief that this is the day that we moms get absolutely spoiled by our husbands. Our kids didn’t choose to be born, nay, it’s the father of our kids who opted in on this “family experience” with us and who benefit every day from the hard work that we do to help support and raise the kids (and yes, the same goes for Fathers day). It’s hard to properly see what we do as parents both for each other and our kids every day, but trust me, the mother of your kids is busting her bum year-round and probably needs to feel like she is doing a damn good job. So this, folks, this is her/our day.

First, the back story (skip ahead if you just want some ideas on how to make her feel special).

Three years ago (when we had our first kid) we started the tradition of planning the perfect day for each other and while I had to give Brian a little bit of help as to what that meant (which he was happy to receive) we’ve honed it in, and now he knows what to do and how to do it – which makes him feel really good. Win, win.

Everyone’s perfect day is different but for me it starts with going to the flea market with my best friend/s (also moms) then a big picnic in the park with the husbands and kids (where they bring delicious gourmet salads, cheese and prosecco, blankets, activities for the kids, etc) and then spa treatments, finished with a family dinner that he’s arranged and taken care of. The key for me is that I get to hang out with my kids a bit but I don’t have to do any real parenting. It’s a day off diaper changing, cooking, cleaning, putting them to bed, even disciplining. If I didn’t work so much during the week I would probably want the full day off from the kids, but I don’t see them enough, so this is what I want. Brian plans everything (he asks me what I want to do) and it means the world to me. That picnic is amazing because I get to hang out with my family and squeeze my kids but then ‘peace out’ to the spa for a couple hours (in an uber … I HATE driving so there is no driving for me on this day).

Now, I know that 90% of you are women and that there aren’t a bunch of dads reading this, but if your guy needs help in the ‘what to do for mothers day’ department here is a post for him (so feel free to share it and tag them on facebook).

Dear Dads,

The key to mothers day is simple: It’s really all about taking the reins of parenting from the second you get up and then showing effort in planning and executing something really special. We (moms) don’t really care about the exact food or how instagrammable the picnic blanket is, but it sure doesn’t hurt when it looks like you put real thought into us and the day.

And men, nothing will get you laid faster than making us feel really, really special, loved and relaxed.

So to help you in advance of this sacred day, I’ve pulled together three different activities that can be recreated or at least that could spark some ideas – and they don’t have to cost a lot of money either.

First up, the old ‘Breakfast In Bed’ option. No one dislikes breakfast in bed. No one.

Pink Plate | Ceramic Heart Bowl | “Queen For A Day” Card | Linen Robe | Cozy Socks | Linen Robe | Wooden Tray | Gold Flatware | Blue Buffalo Check Napkin | Pink Glass | Coffee Mug

Now, my expectations for breakfast in bed are low (eggs and toast are cool with me) but if Brian pulled together the above, I’d feel really special. Since we normally have a picnic I don’t expect anything fancy for breakfast but if breakfast is your jam, then having it look nice and thoughtful is a lovely touch (I love that heart bowl). And guys, once you buy this for one year you re-use it every year! It’s not like it has to be a different pin-worthy breakfast that you have to buy every time. Also I love Food 52’s recipes (never made them but they sure look good) so if you need recipe inspiration to go along with this little setup then you can pick a few out here.

Up next – my jam. The post-flea market, pre-spa friend/family picnic – executed completely by you.

Picnic Blanket | Yellow Tassel Pillow | Pink Pillow | Blue Shag Pillow | White Wine | Copper Wine Key | Plastic Wine Glass | Bluetooth Speaker | Picnic BasketJute Floor Cushion | Disposable Camera | Bamboo Flatware | Paper Plate | Napkin

Obviously you don’t need to buy any of the above, but if you want to just blow it out of the park (literally) then having a cute basket, pillows, paper plates, etc, does tell us that you’ve been thinking about us. If you need help in the food department go to Whole Foods and get an assortment of their special pre-made salads. Or obviously making your wife’s favorite meal ahead of time would be amazing, and make them feel extremely special.

And guys, speaking of time, plan ahead. I know you think that you can throw it together that morning but if you do it in advance you’ll be scrambling less and it will feel/look more thoughtful. Thought and effort is the key to making us feel special. We even included a little disposable camera in here so that your kids or you can candidly take some pics throughout the day and then get them developed a week later to let the moms relive that special day all together.

If neither of those activities appeal to you or if you are into spoiling her all day, then finish the day with a movie night curated just for her.

Pajamas | Slippers |  Mast Chocolate | Red Wine | Wine Glass | Blue Tassel Pillow | Throw Blanket | Cream Fringe Pillow | Bean Bag | Blue Chambray Pillow | White Faux Fur Pillow | Pomegranate Pistachios | Bark Thins | Dried Mango | Jenni’s Ice Cream | Popcorn Holder

This is more about cuddling, relaxing and indulging in some chocolates, salty popcorn or wine while watching The Notebook. Rubbing of her feet is highly recommended and while it might feel weird to buy her pajamas, I think it would be super sweet and thoughtful if you did – something for her, not just for you (this isn’t the time to buy her that uncomfortable teddy you’ve fantasized about).

Most importantly: the best gift you can give any mom you know is to make her feel like the best mom on the planet by telling her just that every single day, and teaching your kids to value the job of parenting as much as any job outside of the home. Notice what she does all day for you and your kids, and thank her and teach your kids to do the same by showing appreciation in front of them. The days that Brian does this are simply better days than the days when he forgets.

Because lets face it, for many of us (and I know from our survey that 70% of you are working moms) it should be mothers day at least once a week 🙂

If you guys have any other great ideas for dads to help spoil their wives, leave it in the comments 🙂

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    1. Another great gift idea, especially for Emily, is a PEDICURE!!!
      Those feet are scary girl. Do you actually look at the pics before you post them? There they are; gnarly, flaky and up front!

  1. Wow, with 4 kids I always thought of Mother’s Day as a day to let the kids celebrate me not take the day off from mothering. Interesting. And no mention of you celebrating your own mother or Brian’s mother.

        1. Ha ha, you did! I think there are a lot of stakeholders on Mother’s Day. This post was about two- moms and their significant others not adult children and their own moms.

      1. To all the commenters posting that I was being nasty… I guess maybe Im jealous? I’ve spent most of my Mother’s Day honoring my mom and mil and now it seems this next generation (mine are just entering adulthood) will be encouraged to do their own thing with just their little family or by themselves. Just kind of makes me sad.

    1. As a doctor/mom, what Emily describes sounds perfect – enjoying the distilled joy of mothering while letting Dad manage the back stage drama for a day. Chill. Signed, long time lurker, first time poster.

    2. As the mom of four kids I’m sure you’ve taught them that if you don’t have something nice to say, perhaps you shouldn’t say anything? This post – it seems a summary is necessary – is about what Emily likes to receive on Mother’s Day. It’s about what husbands can do for their wives. If you have a post about what we can all do for our own moms, let’s hear it! Emily has the rest covered. Hope you enjoy your Mother’s Day.

    3. We usually go to lunch and hang out as a family. Hopefully my husband will let me sleep late and have the kids make me cards. Other than that, it’s an ordinary day.

    4. The title of the post is , “How to Spoil Your Baby Mama on Mother’s Day” why would she talk about her mother or mother-in-law?? It doesn’t even make sense.

    5. what’s up your butt LBPV? my mom always loved having my dad take all of us kids out of the house for the day…if relaxing and not having responsibilities is what a mom needs to re-charge and feel appreciated, who are you to act like that’s not good enough?

    6. Lighten up lady. A day off from the kids is really nice..and that’s how I choose to do it. It lets me relax and go shopping and feel like a human again. Of course, I miss them dearly by the end of the day. Sheesssh!!

    7. Uh…no. It is so important that fathers model supportive, loving and thoughtful behavior to their children. Appreciating moms in a very visible way in front of children models their future behavior and future relationships with their significant others. It shows what a loving relationship looks like to our daughters so they do not find themselves in a psychologically abusive relationship… or in an underappreciated one. And it models the importance of father involvement in the family and how to treat their partners to our sons.

      BTW – when I first read your comment I thought “someone clearly has underappreciation issues that she needs to work out with her husband… ”
      Moms should be supportive of other moms. Raising kids is hard. Don’t need negative comments from the peanut gallery telling us we are doing it wrong.

      1. Just to be clear I’m responding to LBPV snarky comment here, not Emily’s blog that I shamelessly forwarded to my husband.

    8. Oh man, it’s the perfect opportunity and excuse to take the day off from mothering. You’re missing out! 😉

    9. All mothers need a day off from
      Mothering. And not just one day a year either. Self care is critical to your ability to care for your children. It’s not a trivial issue.

  2. My husband definitely needs a little (a lot) of guidance! A pretty breakfast in bed would be sooo nice. Thanks Emily!

  3. I’m a soon mom-to-be (26 weeks pregnant) and LOVED this post <3

    It might be weird but totally loved the idea of the cute, expensive PJ, you wound't buy for yourself as a treat for mother's day.

  4. My kids always wonder why mommy runs away on Mother’s day. Mother’s day at our house means a day off for me. As a stay at home mom, sometimes its the only day i get to myself for months. With summer looming and kids out of school just around the corner, a deep tissue massage, a night in a hotel room with room service and a good book is all this weary momma wants this year…

  5. Very sweet, Emily. I’m a single mom of small children (I’ll hopefully get an extra hug!) so there won’t be anything planned. But just reading this made me feel valued.
    Thank you.

    1. Happy Mother’s Day!! I wish we could somehow do a better job of recognizing single moms on Mother’s Day. Seems like it could feel extra lonely. Hope you get lots of snuggles and give yourself some kind words of self-validation, and maybe a hot bath after bedtime. You are doing a big, good thing.

  6. I’m no one. I hate breakfast in bed! Please, just let me sit at the table to eat. With five kids, I have had more awful breakfasts in bed than I can count.
    Now they are all grown, my favorite Mothers’ Day gifts are the cards and letters where they apologize, admit I did know something and thank me for everything.

    1. I don’t care for breakfast in bed either! Too many crumbs, or messes! Eek! But a coffee in bed while someone else takes the dog out would be PERFECT!

    2. I usually do this for my mother. I’m 24 and a nanny so it’s a journey of discovery everyday of all the things mum knows and did and sacrificed.

      Although, I still maintain that it is unrealistic to expect a 11 or 16 or even 19 year old to understand these things until they themselves are parents (or surrogate parents). Mum and I still in disagreement on this topic 🙂

  7. Dear future sponsors: please give me all the things I want.

    Thanks!
    Emily

    PS This isn’t a Mommy Blog I SWEAR! It’s all about design!

    1. Why are you using your precious free time to be mean on the internet? If you don’t like her blog, just don’t read it. Or try to make a better one and see how easy it is to create a whole online magazine without sponsored content. Emily, I am childless and enjoyed this post a lot! Something to look forward to!

    2. looks like you (along with LPBV up there) also have something up your butt. i’m not a mom and i didn’t mind this post…would i have rather seen a design post? sure. but, no need to whine about hte occasional non-design-related post. also, for what it’s worth, emily does sponsorship/affiliate stuff better than any blogger out there. i usually roll my eyes at sponsored posts or posts containing a lot of affiliate links, but emily never makes me roll my eyes…i mean, never. if you don’t like this blog, why are you here?

    3. This blog is about Emily too! She speaks to a lot of us that are in the same phase of life as her. And we love it! Design all the time can be boring you know. It’s nice to have a little real life sneak it. Keep it up Em!

  8. Maybe check your white privledge and think about the minstrelsy appearance of appropriating the term “Baby Mama”.

    A quick google search (I.e. “Is using their term Baby Mama cultural appropriation?) will tell you it’s problematic and should be reconsidered.

    1. OH MY GOSH ANOTHER ONE WITH A STICK UP HER BUTT! yeesh. maybe YOU should check your attitude at the door. can everyone stop being so dad-gum sensitive? it’s ridiculous the issues that people have found with this simple post.

      1. I side-eyed “baby mama” too, but with so many people of all races not getting married it’s a concise term. I’m married and at the same time I am also my husband’s baby’s mother or baby mama.

        This post is supposed to be lighthearted and carefree like the way Mother’s Day is hopefully going to be for moms next Sunday. Context is everything.

    2. Is this a serious comment?! I can’t even…

      Emily, can you block these fruitcakes from your blog, they don’t deserve you. 🙂

  9. Wow, enough with the snipey comments…My kids are grown and gone but I wish your blog would have been online when they were young. I would have shared it with my husband. Hope you have a beautiful mothers day Emily. You are hard working career woman/baby mama who deserves to be pampered. Enjoy!

  10. As a new stay at home mom I no longer receive accolades or a bonus for a job well done. Mother’s Day is the time of year where my husband can show his appreciation for what I do for our family and I fully expect to be gifted and spoiled! Thanks for the awesome ideas!

    1. YES! EVERY other job on the planet receives at least annual reviews and frequent feedback and usually bonuses (and oh my goodness, i’m sitting here second-guessing if i can say “every other job on the planet” or if someone will get angry because there are maybe some other jobs that don’t fall into this category and I’m hurting someone’s feelings.), but mamas (can I say that? Should I go with Mothers), unless spoiled and appreciated by the Father of The Child, (and 25 years later by The Child) rarely receive special notice and appreciation.

  11. Love this post! I wish we’d done some of these things for my mom when my sister and I were younger. This just motivated me send my mom to the spa, even though us kids are grown up:) Happy mothers day!

  12. This is a fun post. I have a 4 and 1.5 year old and a full time job; we try to make Mother’s Day a day of actual rest for me while my husband does everything. We send well wishes to our out of state mothers, but they are in a different life phase now, so yeah, the focus is on me. Because just about every other day, its not.

    (I watched your instagram feed – at 3, my son had epic meltdowns every once in awhile about things like…a granola bar breaking in half. Threenagers. And I just learned they call 4 the “F-U 4s”. So yay.)

  13. Hi Emily,

    My kids are grown but I love your post. It is about getting a break from “mothering” 24/7 , for those hater comments please don’t bully my favourite blogger, especially so close to Mother’s Day when we know it will ruin our “special” day however we choose to celebrate.

    You go girl, keep it weird.

  14. Cannot believe how judgmental some people can be (maybe it was just a few but still). As a mom of a toddler, Emily’s ideas sounds perfect to me. Mother’s Days has been pretty crappy for me since my own mother died many years ago. For years I have dutifully taken flowers or a small gift to my step-mother, MIL, and step-MIL. It may not seem like a big deal, but it is to me and I am so tired of the obligations that come with Mother’s Day. I just want to spend the day with my little family (but also spend part of it alone doing whatever I feel like doing!). I don’t need extended family to acknowledge my motherhood and I don’t really want to spend the day catering to them either. I spend every other day caring for others, being “selfish” for one day is beyond reasonable.

  15. I absolutely love your sense of humor. Ok, the only thing about this list that appeals to me is the spa outing. LOL! Mother’s Day for me is getting the hell away from my family and not feeling guilty about it! Happy Mother’s Day to all the wonderful momma’s out there!

  16. WOW!! Ladies, and I do use that term loosely, what’s up today?! This is a lighthearted and fun blog post about fun things to do on Mother’s Day, not a political post about healthcare or some other important political statement. Can we dial back the snarl a bit?? If you don’t like Emily’s blog, go elsewhere!! Nobody makes you come here! And if you’re looking for design, this post was sent with a post of Brady’s kitchen! Jeesh, cut back on the double skinny vanilla lattes or something….

  17. This is awesome! Now I’m pumped to help plan my Mother’s Day so it actually involves what I want to do…hadn’t ever really thought about it before hand…generally only as an after thought ( i.e. that could have been better time spent)…hello moms day at the spa. Done and done!

  18. This sounds like the perfect day! Though I personally would skip the eating in bed part (unless it’s room service in a hotel). I hope my soon-to-be husband can pull this off one day. Pinning it for the future. 😉

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  20. Hire a 24 hr sitter or drop off the kids with family and take me on a 24 hour trip AWAY. Or even just check into a local airbnb/nice hotel and after a morning of spa treatments, meet me for lunch, a fun day excursion, then a play, concert or etc with dinner IN BED or else a nice dinner out. If dessert includes a jewelery gift, so much the better. : )

    Another awesome gift is a year of babysitting or housecleaning by a service. Or ditto a meal delivery service from a local personal chef who will stock the fridge with basics for the week. (Less packaging than mail order options…). A year of any or all of those would be bliss and really shows appreciation, imo!

  21. Happy Mother’s Day!! I wish we could somehow do a better job of recognizing single moms on Mother’s Day. Seems like it could feel extra lonely. Hope you get lots of snuggles and give yourself some kind words of self-validation, and maybe a hot bath after bedtime. You are doing a big, good thing.

  22. Now, I know that 90% of you are women and that there aren’t a bunch of dads reading this, but if your guy needs help in the ‘what to do for mothers day’ department here is a post for him (so feel free to share it and tag them on facebook).