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Much Ado About Nightstands

Dear Reader,

You ever wonder how Emily always makes everything look SO good on TV and in photo shoots and, like, everywhere else? I used to wonder the same thing, until I started helping her style for photo shoots and TV shows. And now I’m about to reveal something shocking and potentially groundbreaking about tabletop styling. This information is so revolutionary, so riveting that even the new Pope is going to be like “Oh, MYGOD!” I am going to share with you the most coveted secret in the world of styling.

The secret to styling things perfectly is that you have to do it over and over and over and over until your hands bleed and your skin tries to crawl off your body to go to the nearest bar to get wasted because it’s SO tired of styling. Great stylists don’t just show up and throw a collection of junk together on a table and scream Ouala! Most of them play with props, books, candles, and grandma’s glasses until they come up with a composition that they find deliciously gorgeous.

With this in mind, I decided to give the Nightstand Styling Contest a whirl. But I knew it was going to be challenging. Mainly because whenever I style anything I have this sneaking suspicion that Emily is going to be all “Oh, that’s nice, ” but really be thinking it’s the grossest thing she’s ever seen in her whole life.

So with some pluck and wealth of crappola I had lying around the apartment, I began styling my nightstand. With the help of our glamourous, gorgeous photographer Tessa Neustadt.

Option 1: Lazy Minimal

For this first try, I was all, “What if I go minimal and put very little on the bedside table?” Well, what happened was that it looked super boring and lame.

Option 2: Bright & Quirky


This is my second attempt, where I was all “Maybe I should make it cute and bright and playful.” I dunno. It’s definitely better than the first one but not quite there …


Option 3: Masculine (Kind of [ok not really])

I was like, “Maybe I should butch it up. I’ll add a wire horse.”


Option 4: Sumptuous Symmetry 


This option was the only one where I didn’t add art. That lamp is pretty large and in charge though, so I didn’t really miss it.


Option 5: Glamorous Greenhouse


The last option is probably the closest to what my nightstand looks like in real life. I have an overabundance of greenery in my bedroom. I like to be surrounded by life and oxygen, so having plants around makes me happy.



And now it’s time for you to take a stand. Which one do you like the best? Whichever one receives the best feedback is getting entered into the Nightstand Styling Contest (don’t worry, I can’t actually win because that would be, like, totally weird and I would probably rig the contest because I totally want those nightstands). Anyway, HELP ME! Tell me which option I should enter!

Okay, so to recap, the options are:

Option 1: Lazy Minimal

Option 2: Bright & Quirky

Option 3: Masculine (Kind of [not really])

Option 4: Sumptuous Symmetrical

Option 5: Glamorous Greenhouse

Leave a comment about which option I should enter. IF IT’S THE LAST THING YOU DO! (Please).







Contributing writer Orlando Soria,

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