The most important holiday in the universe is coming up: Mother’s Day. I’m allowed to say that because I am a mother of two kids under the age of 3. I need this holiday. I deserve this holiday, just like many of us do. It’s our day. I’m not a birthday person. I don’t need to be showered with gifts on my anniversary or Christmas, but Mother’s Day? OH. MOTHER’S. DAY. It’s my jam, and I milk it. I was trying to figure out why I turn all ‘diva’ for this particular day and here’s what I’ve come up with:
Regardless of whether you work outside the home and have childcare, or inside the home for your family, each child is at least a part (if not full) time job (depending on the child and the age). While this is a job that you knew from day one would be a volunteer position, sometimes the amount of actual WORK is shocking. I’m not talking about floating them around to fun playdates or choosing between the plaid or polka dot romper. I don’t want to get too into the daily insanity of being a mom because a.) the joys outweigh the stress by one million and b.) a lot of you already know how hard it can be. Each day is filled with not just minutiae, but so much physical and emotional work. Like any dream job, it’s work you love, but like any dream job, to be really good at it you have to work til you cry and pass out. Often.
There are days, as a mother, where I look like the crazy lady at the airport, running frantically to catch a nearly missed flight, with 6 carry-ons. All. Day. Long.
It’s super sexy.
Any other ‘job’ gives you days off (twice a week actually). Days you don’t have to THINK about your job. Not the case with motherhood. Even if you do get a free day once a month you still think about, worry about and even MISS those little nuggets back home. Don’t even mention the guilt, because you battle double self-imposed guilt from kids and husband anytime you take a day off just for you. You are never truly free and that is a wonderful thing as the familial bond is just so strong. Don’t get me wrong, If I told Brian that I was desperate for a Saturday all to myself he would absolutely say ‘GO!!’ but I want to be with my family more than I want a break. It’s as much jealousy as it is guilt.
Two years ago I decided that mothers day should be the day that I get to do whatever my little hormonal/frazzled brain wanted. I told Brian what my dream was and he helped me make it happen. Here is how it went:
My best friend, Corbett (who has a daughter the same age as Charlie) and I went to the Rose Bowl, sans kids to shop. Around 11am we met our husbands and kids at a beautiful nearby park where they had packed a picnic lunch, champagne and flowers. Then we took an uber to a spa and had a super relaxing massage, and afterwards Brian and Charlie met me for a quick bite and a glass of wine (Corbett did something separate with her family). It was perfect because I still got to see and play with Charlie but I didn’t have to do any “work” for the day. Sometimes taking the day off doesn’t necessarily mean quarantining yourself on the opposite side of town, it’s just only having to do the “fun” parts of parenting. No packing of the car, loading of the kids, putting down of the naps, making of the lunch … it was a day of having my cake and eating it, too.
And it was wonderful.
So that is my Mother’s Day’ fantasy and it is a doable one for our family. But we aren’t always around to shower our moms with such a relaxed day, certainly and flowers is always a good option. I just started sending flowers this year because I realized how easy it is. I used Teleflora a couple months ago for a big birthday that I missed (the gift wasn’t arriving til the next day) so I did a last minute online purchase and it saved me. Don’t get me wrong, I miss birthays all the time, but this one was a 70th so I needed to get that person SOMETHING that very day. When they later reached out to us about sponsoring a post around Mother’s Day, and my love of flowers, my recent experience with them made my fingers type, “YES. Let’s do it”. So we ordered some of their arrangements to shoot in the house (some from their Mother’s Day collection and some that we just couldn’t pass up). I’ll give my quick schpeal on this service, although it’s one you know well. You can order pretty, locally arranged flowers and send them SAME day anywhere in the US to be hand-delivered to your recipient. The sheer ease of it is extremely compelling. Not all of their flowers are my style but I’m also a massive flower snob being in the styling business for the majority of my life. Often it’s more about the style of the receiver than the giver, but tulips and peonies have never made anybody anything except happy.
These pink and orange beauties are for your bolder mom out there – can she handle the hot pink?? My nanny freaked out about the Pop of Fun bouquet (above) when she saw it – she loved it and for the right space I think it’s awesome. Or if you need something a little more subtle and soft their Love and Joy bouquet (below) is a great option.
But my favorite is the spring arrangement (not available year round mind you as they are seasonal) below – with peonies, because every mother in the world loves peonies.
In a perfect world I would be that person that sends flowers or gifts to every mom I know. We all would get SHOWERED with flowers from anyone who gets the benefits of your parenting – most note-ably your partner or when they are much older, your kids. The true heroes out there are single moms (how do you do it??) and teachers that take over parenting 7-8 hours a day. But, I suppose that is a different holiday for them and one that should be WILDLY more popular.
While flowers aren’t really enough compensation for the year round work, and can’t represent the level of love involved, they are a lovely token for the love and effort put in, and when they are easy to send and pretty to receive – that is a very good thing for both parties.
Parenthood is a job with no paid vacation, no sick days, no health care, and yet it has the best benefits of any job ever. What you get out of it exponentially surpasses the work you put into it. Being “successful” is unquantifiable, and often you feel “richer” than anybody else in the world. Your year end bonus? The unsolicited ‘Mama, I love you so much’ JUST when you needed it.
*Photography by Tessa Neustadt