The most important holiday in the universe is coming up: Mother’s Day. I’m allowed to say that because I am a mother of two kids under the age of 3. I need this holiday. I deserve this holiday, just like many of us do. It’s our day. I’m not a birthday person. I don’t need to be showered with gifts on my anniversary or Christmas, but Mother’s Day? OH. MOTHER’S. DAY. It’s my jam, and I milk it. I was trying to figure out why I turn all ‘diva’ for this particular day and here’s what I’ve come up with:
Regardless of whether you work outside the home and have childcare, or inside the home for your family, each child is at least a part (if not full) time job (depending on the child and the age). While this is a job that you knew from day one would be a volunteer position, sometimes the amount of actual WORK is shocking. I’m not talking about floating them around to fun playdates or choosing between the plaid or polka dot romper. I don’t want to get too into the daily insanity of being a mom because a.) the joys outweigh the stress by one million and b.) a lot of you already know how hard it can be. Each day is filled with not just minutiae, but so much physical and emotional work. Like any dream job, it’s work you love, but like any dream job, to be really good at it you have to work til you cry and pass out. Often.
There are days, as a mother, where I look like the crazy lady at the airport, running frantically to catch a nearly missed flight, with 6 carry-ons. All. Day. Long.
It’s super sexy.
Any other ‘job’ gives you days off (twice a week actually). Days you don’t have to THINK about your job. Not the case with motherhood. Even if you do get a free day once a month you still think about, worry about and even MISS those little nuggets back home. Don’t even mention the guilt, because you battle double self-imposed guilt from kids and husband anytime you take a day off just for you. You are never truly free and that is a wonderful thing as the familial bond is just so strong. Don’t get me wrong, If I told Brian that I was desperate for a Saturday all to myself he would absolutely say ‘GO!!’ but I want to be with my family more than I want a break. It’s as much jealousy as it is guilt.
Two years ago I decided that mothers day should be the day that I get to do whatever my little hormonal/frazzled brain wanted. I told Brian what my dream was and he helped me make it happen. Here is how it went:
My best friend, Corbett (who has a daughter the same age as Charlie) and I went to the Rose Bowl, sans kids to shop. Around 11am we met our husbands and kids at a beautiful nearby park where they had packed a picnic lunch, champagne and flowers. Then we took an uber to a spa and had a super relaxing massage, and afterwards Brian and Charlie met me for a quick bite and a glass of wine (Corbett did something separate with her family). It was perfect because I still got to see and play with Charlie but I didn’t have to do any “work” for the day. Sometimes taking the day off doesn’t necessarily mean quarantining yourself on the opposite side of town, it’s just only having to do the “fun” parts of parenting. No packing of the car, loading of the kids, putting down of the naps, making of the lunch … it was a day of having my cake and eating it, too.
And it was wonderful.
So that is my Mother’s Day’ fantasy and it is a doable one for our family. But we aren’t always around to shower our moms with such a relaxed day, certainly and flowers is always a good option. I just started sending flowers this year because I realized how easy it is. I used Teleflora a couple months ago for a big birthday that I missed (the gift wasn’t arriving til the next day) so I did a last minute online purchase and it saved me. Don’t get me wrong, I miss birthays all the time, but this one was a 70th so I needed to get that person SOMETHING that very day. When they later reached out to us about sponsoring a post around Mother’s Day, and my love of flowers, my recent experience with them made my fingers type, “YES. Let’s do it”. So we ordered some of their arrangements to shoot in the house (some from their Mother’s Day collection and some that we just couldn’t pass up). I’ll give my quick schpeal on this service, although it’s one you know well. You can order pretty, locally arranged flowers and send them SAME day anywhere in the US to be hand-delivered to your recipient. The sheer ease of it is extremely compelling. Not all of their flowers are my style but I’m also a massive flower snob being in the styling business for the majority of my life. Often it’s more about the style of the receiver than the giver, but tulips and peonies have never made anybody anything except happy.
These pink and orange beauties are for your bolder mom out there – can she handle the hot pink?? My nanny freaked out about the Pop of Fun bouquet (above) when she saw it – she loved it and for the right space I think it’s awesome. Or if you need something a little more subtle and soft their Love and Joy bouquet (below) is a great option.
But my favorite is the spring arrangement (not available year round mind you as they are seasonal) below – with peonies, because every mother in the world loves peonies.
In a perfect world I would be that person that sends flowers or gifts to every mom I know. We all would get SHOWERED with flowers from anyone who gets the benefits of your parenting – most note-ably your partner or when they are much older, your kids. The true heroes out there are single moms (how do you do it??) and teachers that take over parenting 7-8 hours a day. But, I suppose that is a different holiday for them and one that should be WILDLY more popular.
While flowers aren’t really enough compensation for the year round work, and can’t represent the level of love involved, they are a lovely token for the love and effort put in, and when they are easy to send and pretty to receive – that is a very good thing for both parties.
Parenthood is a job with no paid vacation, no sick days, no health care, and yet it has the best benefits of any job ever. What you get out of it exponentially surpasses the work you put into it. Being “successful” is unquantifiable, and often you feel “richer” than anybody else in the world. Your year end bonus? The unsolicited ‘Mama, I love you so much’ JUST when you needed it.
*Photography by Tessa Neustadt
Holy Cow!! Where is your gorgeous dress from?!?!
HA. thank you. Its crazy comfortable, too. Its by a company called Jaase which I bought in Australia. Super hard to track down in the states but I found their FB page. I bought it at a store next to Cafe Arno in double Bay. If anyone knows what that store is called let me know so I can credit them as they had a TON of great maxi dresses. https://www.facebook.com/jaase.au/
Just tracked down this lovely dress, by Arizonia Rose:
Wow you’ve got skills!!!!! 🙂 On behalf of everyone, thankyou Chitra!
I’m the owner of that lovely store next to cafe Arno
Called Koh Woman
I have that beautiful maxi dress in stock
Ps hope your well
Hello from Germany,
you have a great choice of products in your shop!! Love pretty much everything!
Is there any chance for international shipping to Germany?
Looking good Emily, that dress is amazing!
I too am wanting to know about that dress! I mean the flowers are lovely too but that dress!
I’m gonna jump on the bandwagon here: GREAT DRESS! The real reason I’m commenting, though, is this: I’m a former florist. I totally understand that Teleflora is sponsoring this post, but if you want to order flowers for someone, the best way to do it is to actually call the local florist in the city of delivery instead of going through a wire service like Teleflora. The local florist is the one who will know what they have on hand that looks the best, and when you call them directly, they get all the profit from the transaction. When you use a wire service like Teleflora, often the florist who creates and delivers the arrangement barely covers their costs. It would be like a designer in NY accepting a styling appointment for a client in LA and then calling Emily, giving her 75% of the price (which may only cover Emily’s costs) and expecting Emily to not make any money off of the transaction while the NY designer keeps 25% for making the phone call. In theory, wire services like Teleflora are supposed to expand the market share of each florist to allow them to book orders from folks around… Read more »
This is so good to know!!!! I’ve been using farm fresh flowers and love them and I wonder if it’s the same deal?
If you mean farm girl flowers – it’s not the same deal, those are directly shipped from CA where the arrangement is made.
This florist (events only now but I worked in a shop for many years) thanks you for such a thorough comment. Always better to support a brick and mortar! Although Teleflora as a sponsor of EHD is a big step up from the post promoting Bouqs awhile back, which absolutely horrified me.
megan, do you mind explaining why the bouqs post was so much worse than this teleflora one? i don’t know much about the flower business (just that most are grown on a very large scale with a lot of pesticides and labor atrocities, so i generally avoid buying flowers except from very small, very local farmers), but am very curious to understand more. thanks!
melbajo – I’m not the original commenter, but Bouqs is a company that flies run-of-the-mill flowers halfway around the world, OVERNIGHT! The carbon footprint of that is just appalling, when you can very easily source many of the same florals locally from a shop.
The world is changing people. Get used to it, get with it, or fold.
??? What does the changing world have to do with Teleflora, an 75+ year old wire service???
Agreed, and well put.
Yes, former florist here who agrees 100% with your post! Thanks for saying it 🙂
Thanks for taking the time to write this. As soon as I saw that arrangement
I knew it was Teleflora, and honestly, I was disappointed to see Emily advertising for them. I also am a long time florist but have turned to flower farming. Thank you also for detailing all of the skimming that happens when customers order flowers using their website. Order directly, with an open order, and designers will choose the best looking flowers, not being defined by what the recipe calls for. Our shop now sends a photo of each arrangement to the customer after it is delivered as a confirmation email and they love it. Not trying to knock Teleflora, just trying to inform others!
Yes, there are so many florists now who take great pride in their work and many of us who grow our own flowers. This post hurt me, not going to lie. So not the usual supporting cool unique local stuff. I get if you’re in a bind and someone is halfway around the world, but in every other normal circumstances, teleflora is not the best option.
Loved this post and it made me tear up! I couldn’t agree more about the competing feelings of wanting time away from and with my kids!
Why do the local florists have to fill a ton of orders at little to no margin? Can they not just decline orders where they will get no margin? (Are they required to ‘work with’ Teleflora?)
um…blah, blah, blah…the dress!!
Your Mother’s Day sounds amazing!!
It’s minutiae and TelEflora.
I love your blog, and am not trying to be snarky, but am consistently surprised at how many spelling errors are posted.
I read the post and enjoyed it very much. Your reply sucked the joy out of the room. Who are you to criticize? Perhaps spelling isn’t her forte. And yes, I know forte isn’t punctuated correctly. Are you a policeman of everyone? I would certainly give you a wide berth.
I really hate when people complain about spelling/
It wasn’t so much a complaint, as a “heads-up.” I’m sorry if my comment ruined the experience of this post for anyone.
Emily, I think you are a great writer. That is one of the reasons I come here, to hear your voice. I will never use Teleflora, but I will remember your Mother’s Day experience. If you’re going to go to all the effort of posting a sponsored post, I think you’d want it to be copy-edited to please the sponsor and not just your annoying “policeman” readers. I’d email/text you privately if that were an option, just as I would a friend, or my sister, who actually blogs for a living as well. I’d text you, “Schpeal is not a word. It’s spiel.” And I hope you would be like, “Dude, thanks for catching that.”
I won’t post about spelling again.
I’m with you Renee.
Bravo for speaking up Renee!
This did not show up indented where I wanted it to be. I meant “Same!” for this comment: “I really hate when people complain about spelling/punctuation.”
I agree, for how many people supposedly read each post beforehand, and how it’s supposed to be a professional, magazine-quality, income-generating business of a blog, it shouldn’t have so many typos. Sure, typos don’t bother some but they do others, so surely you should err on the side of ‘no typos’. It is unprofessional. And no, Renee didn’t suck any joy out of any room (overdramatic, anyone?), this room was meh at best. Teleflora? I don’t mind a sponsored post but written sensibly and openly for something you can believe the poster really does like. “Can she handle the hot pink??” Come on. No wonder she posted a “stop criticising our posts” post before this one.
So, I have a cold and I’m grumpy this morning … I do really like this blog 🙂
I was an English major, and I love the typos. Weird, I know. But it makes it more real to me!
(What bothers me more is a big trend on joining two sentence fragments, something I notice from other bloggers, but not here. For example: “I went to the store, they had a great selection.”)
All in all, I LOVE this blog, and I will keep following, regardless!
Yes! You nailed it…this is what I need for Mother’s Day: a fun outing with the kids but a break from all the annoying logistical steps it takes to make that happen (steps that somehow, I always get stuck with). Thanks–you just saved me and my husband a big Mother’s Day fight!
I’m a fan (maybe I’m in the minority) of your sponsored posts. I feel like you vet them and if I always like what I get when I order your recommendations. But I’ve seen your magic with flowers. Other than the peony, these don’t seen EHD worthy.
I have no opinion on the carbon footprint of the flower industry, but these arrangements look like they came from the hospital gift shop. There’s nothing modern or interesting about them. I understand sponsored posts and appreciate them because it’s what allows us to enjoy your original content for free, but come on. You are a tastemaker with an amazing eye, Emily Henderson!! There’s no way you like these supermarket bouquets.
Happy Mother’s Day Emily! My babe is 9 months old and I’m so excited to celebrate my first Mother’s Day as a mama 🙂
I feel so strongly about the mommy-guilt thing that I just have to say – don’t let yourself feel guilty for your choices as a mom! My pastor (mother of four in NYC) recently told me two things that helped me so much with this. 1. You are the best mom for your kids. 2. If you aren’t good, you are no good to anyone else, especially your kids. So don’t feel guilty for taking the time you need sometimes to recharge and be your best self! You’re an awesome mom!!
Ugh, yes. All the comments. I, too, generally do not mind a sponsored post when it’s truly something I might not discover on my own or reflects on your great taste. But I can’t imagine you’d order from Teleflora for any of your shoots/styling, right? These aren’t cool and special, it feels forced, and is just kind of a bummer.
I actually scrolled through the pictures before I started reading and thought, wtf is this about, this has to be sponsored–because those arrangements felt so *not* EHD!
I agree. Totally off-brand here.
Considering she bragged about sending an intern back to the store for buying oranges without leaves for a shoot, you know EM wouldn’t be caught dead with such generic arrangements.
Seriously your dress!!! So gorgeous!!
Had to chime in.
As far as sponsored posts are concerned, well you like some, you don’t love some. I think we should just move on. No biggie.
thanks for sharing my book, em! xx
Happy Mother’s Day! Love this post. Your ideal way to celebrate sounded perfect.
Happy Mother’s Day, Emily! You’re amazing. In the same boat as you- 2 nuggets, 20 months apart. Life is crazy town, but amazing. Thanks for always sharing your honest thoughts and beautiful life, while keeping it real. Enjoy your day!
No mama here, but love me some peonies too.
Do you mind sharing where that lamp is from??
It’s from Target. It’s no longer available online, but you can check and see if they still have it in stores! xx
Great, awesome one !
Great post …. Thanks for bringing it up…
This website is good and always shares new thought….
You made me cry 🙂 Kisses and huggs from a single mum
I love that dress! What size did you get? Just wondering what size to order. Also, it looks slightly sheer, so do u need to wear a slip under or no?! Let me know!
Goodness you all really ARE talented designers at arranging a shoot….you’ve even captured the cream swirl in Emily’s coffee! And I love your ritual for Mother’s Day. I will consider adopting one now too. I thought two kids under the age of three was tricky, then the two year old became a three year old and the baby a toddler and look out world! So ahem, yes, a big Hooray for you and Mother’s Day! x
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Agree 100% with the comments about Teleflora. They just hurt the local florists and you end up with generic arrangements. It’s so easy to look up a florist in any area and order direct from them, that way you get the full value of what you’re paying for (no middle-man fees), and the designer can work with you to make something custom based on what you love and what’s fresh. Same price, but works out better for you and the local business.
thanks Em, I love mothers day! I have been trying to tell my kids (3 and a half, 18mnths) how mothers day is the most important day of the year but I don’t think it’s getting through hehe! My poor husband… *no pressure* honey! Love the sound of your first mothers day- sounds pretty perfect, will have to get hinting ;-). Have to say am not a huge fan of the flowers though, very generic looking, and your flowers are always so beautiful and bespoke. You should totally do a post florals if you haven’t!
Happy mamas day!