I wrote the longest Instagram post ever (below) and the new rude Instagram format was like ‘Woah, hey there lady, edit that down a bit’. After a few ‘Well-I-Nevers’ I decided to not edit it but to instead just post it to the blog. You can’t stop my long-windedness, Sir. Instagram, you only succeed to divert it onto a different platform. Here you go: my stupidly drawn-out personal Instagram attempt:
Last weekend I kinda lost it. Brian was out-of-town and after getting up 4 – 6 times both nights with that angel and at least once with Charlie I found myself snapping then weeping at Charlie during his average ‘I’m acting like a total psychopath’ tantrum because I mixed the fruit into his yogurt – a gesture that he typically appreciates. Word to the wise: DO NOT MIX THE FRUIT INTO HIS YOGURT UNLESS HE ASKS YOU TO THEN PLEASE MIX THAT FRUIT INTO THE YOGURT AT THE EXACT SPEED THAT HE DEMANDS.
A friend witnessed my meltdown and suggested that perhaps after months of complaining of severe sleep deprivation it was time to hire some extra help during a really busy work week. Let me just go ahead and answer the question you are asking – don’t you have a nanny? Yes. And she is AMAZING. But I also have a toddler whose needs are far different from a baby so on the days that I can’t be home with Elliot, the baby goes with the toddler to all his activities (a playdate every morning at Kids Space and parent/nanny and me twice a week in the afternoon at a preschool that he will soon go to full time in the fall). Thus Elliot’s nap schedule is totally neglected. If one caretaker were to make sure that both napped properly at home we would be in napping prison, which I (and Charlie) refused to be in, but because of that she hadn’t learned how to fall or stay asleep well.
So I found a baby nurse for some temporary relief. Someone to help teach me and her how to get her to sleep properly. It didn’t go as planned because Elliot didn’t like her for the first full day and I had to step in every 20 minutes only after I refrained every 2 minutes. But she was super lovely and somehow still forced that baby to sleep and eat enough during the day that she only woke up twice that night. Apparently I’m not making enough milk and she is not napping enough. I swear we were good parents with Charlie. We were disciplined and diligent. We had the time and sanity to properly teach him how to sleep and I knew how many ounces I was making every single minute. I was obsessed with my milk production – an obsession that has thankfully waned with the wisdom of motherhood. But this time around I lost milk even faster and it has affected her sleep (not her growth thankfully and we’ve been supplementing with formula for the 6 weeks).
I thought the second child was supposed to be easier, but you all lied, it’s not because the first one is wailing in the corner, being a toddler. A toddler that acts as if you are burning his blankey in front of his very eyes if you take even the smallest bite of his string cheese. I’m happy to report that the last three nights have been so much better (update, last night was TERRIBLE with Charlie again .. but Ellie was good). I’m happy that hiring that extra help, however uncomfortable it was (and it was) was worth it. She reminded me to be more patient – that when Elliot acts like she doesn’t want to nap its my job to remind her that she needs to. And that sometimes that ‘reminding’ is in the form of me rocking, shushing and soothing her for 20 fussy minutes until she gives in – a job that this busy mom was not doing well. We leave for Australia on tomorrow which is going to bring its own challenges, sure, but hopefully these habits can stick. She is such an angel, I just haven’t been as on top of it this round for obvious reasons – i’m not being hard on myself because I know that i’m doing the best that I can, but its good to just put all the facts on the table and come up with a solution that works with those facts. For us it was calling in a baby pro for 3 days. And I think its worked ….
Meanwhile if you have a toddler and have even once wondered if he/she needed psychological intervention please know that EVERY SINGLE one of my friends has wondered the same thing, as have I. His level of irrationality and lack of empathy when it comes to sharing can be absolutely disturbing at times despite the fact that he’s impossibly loving and affectionate the rest of the day.
So please, friends, if you run into Charlie Henderson with a raspberry FAGE yogurt, please DO. NOT. MIX. THAT. FRUIT.
So mom of two kids at different napping stages, how do you do it???? Do you just make the second baby more flexible or do you keep the toddler at home?