That’s right … Charlie’s birth was filmed (and you can watch at ULive.com), which I realize is a sentence that gets a HUGE reaction like this, ‘You … had a film crew in there? OMG.” And that’s when I remind them that no there wasn’t a CREW (although, frankly I would have permitted it). It was one dude. ONE dude, (‘sup, Steve) that I have worked with a ton so he’s kinda a friend and I was comfortable around him (no, not that comfortable but I knew him well enough to know that he wasn’t judging me). (Oh, and read the birth story to get the play by play)
Besides, when I was in blinding pain do you think I gave a crap (literally and figuratively) who was in the room? I didn’t. Well, that is not true, I wanted him to be there. I wanted someone to document ‘The woman in the most pain ever’ for the Guinness book of world records. I didn’t win, strangely … I was robbed (probably by a woman who had to withstand that for 24 hours instead of my short birth).
Let me be clear – nothing from the business end will be shown … sadly. Was the business end filmed? I don’t know, probably … hopefully. But, obviously that won’t be online – although to be honest not because I don’t want it to be; I’m proud of what happened down there and yes, its gnarly and insane and might make some/most people uncomfortable, but to me it’s so amazing and I kinda want the world to see it.
In fact if I controlled the world every man would have to witness the business end. (I’m at times terrified by my lack of privacy). I want to have a ‘passive aggressive birth’ app on my phone where every time Brian complains about something or asks me to do something annoying I could quickly hit play and replay the birth in a few seconds. He WORSHIPPED me for days, nay, WEEKS after that – knowing that I was such a bad*ss.
I’m so glad that I have these photos and the video to replay and relive the memory. But if you don’t have it, don’t worry. Nothing, and I mean NOTHING does it justice. The video shows me screaming, sure, but in my memory the screams were tribal, animalistic, glass breaking – and in the video they are intense, but not nearly as bad as I remember. So don’t regret not having a video done – nothing will portray it quite like it went down (although if you are like me and have no issue with privacy I strongly recommend having a video made – it really helps bring things back – the emotion, struggle, pain, joy – for the good or bad).
It’s so insane that for a day that entailed more pain then I ever thought imaginable, that I actually want to relive it over and over because it was so incredibly joyful. It almost makes me want to become religious … again.
I mean, look at that little face? He’s an angel; an absolute angel that was sent down here to have me kiss those cheeks, laugh at those expressions, nuzzle those fat wrist, cuddle that tiny body. Nothing, and I mean NOTHING, challenges your belief system like life and death – in this case its life … and I’m feeling definitely challenged.
To watch the video series click HERE and share it if you feel like it. I figure if I’m going to do it .. I may as well DO it.
(In case you are just joining: read the pregnancy announcement, watch the gender reveal video, read my 5 favorite things about being pregnant , check out my maternity must haves, see my first baby shower, my second baby shower and read my birth plan and of course the play by play of the birth) testtest